Dominic Deegan: Oracle for Hire, Mk. XXXV: DJ Callan Turns the Tables

[Castel]

I find it sad that I've come to accept the concept of a magic scanning machine (that prints out a diagnosis) to the point that I don't immediately feel the urge to point out how silly it is.

[Oracle_Hunter]

So wait... everyone in Barthis is nice now? But they didn't used to be?

This can one of two unsettling things:

(1) Dominion's Karma Reaper has purged Barthis of all Jocks through a series of Low-Caste Violence. First there were The Chosen cultists, then whatever people the Chaos Infernomancer killed (meaning, those Gregory chose not to save). Creepy.

(2) The Deegandrug has made Niceness mandatory.

Seriously, how does a town of any size manage to exist without an jerks?

EDIT: Remember that Celesto is not the champion of the Chosen, but the Champion of Chaos. Like the Champion of Balance or Law, these Champions are chosen by destiny to personify Change and Stasis (or Law/Chaos and Balance). It does not look like Celesto ever did anything to initiate himself in The Chosens' weird cult so it actually makes zero sense that there would be a Chosen-Celesto metaphysical link.

[Johnny Blade]

Why does that even come up? Yes, Quilt is made of the Chosen. How is that some kind of huge Eureka! moment...unless the Deegans and their little helpers regularly go off to steal body parts to keep him going?

Also: "I know what's up, but let me look at a flyer that in all honesty couldn't really contain much information so I can look all book-smart when I tell you because that's how being intelligent works, okay?"
(Because I won't accept a scanning machine when Miranda has been doing scans manually all the time.)


Finally, looking at panels 7 and 8, I assume Luna's been learning a few tricks from Runcible Spoon, because her head just rotated 180°.

[Darkmyst]

The 6 chosen who died and were harvested to make Quilt were, presumably, also present in the horde of Chosen Souls in the Storm of Souls arc, in which Celestro was made their champion, and could feasibly have had contact with him. It is not retconning, but it is stretching the truth considerably.

At no point after being absorbed into the storm did these souls have any contact with or connection to their former bodies. Even if they had somehow met up with Celesto in this state, it shouldn't have made even the faintest impact on the corpses that they left behind.

[Trazoi]

Finally, looking at panels 7 and 8, I assume Luna's been learning a few tricks from Runcible Spoon, because her head just rotated 180°.

She's known that trick for a while.

[TheArsenal]

I give up. From now on, the only reason Im even watching this comic is through addiction. I no longer care about the messed up rules. The Dumb characters or the stupid art.

I had to force myself to check the recent update. As expected: Crap.

[M84]

Quilt's first line in this strip was probably the most intelligent thing anyone has said in this entire arc.

[SiuiS]

(Because I won't accept a scanning machine when Miranda has been doing scans manually all the time.)

that's easy.
Miranda doesn't scan fast, she scans right. She does it by hand.
She shops by hand.
She writes by hand.
She kills by hand.
She scans by hand.

I give up. From now on, the only reason Im even watching this comic is through addiction. I no longer care about the messed up rules. The Dumb characters or the stupid art.

I had to force myself to check the recent update. As expected: Crap.

Yeah. I think I'll come back on Friday so I can actually get a single comic's worth of pacing. I can honestly say that listening to you guys has been the Only thing keeping me interested. Although Quilt's sudden depth ("dammit, I don't want to be a pervert. Why does his keep happening?") is pretty neat.

Quilt's first line in this strip was probably the most intelligent thing anyone has said in this entire arc.

Eh. Had to go back and reread the page. First thought?
"Mookie must be trawling the forums."

[rocketpony]

It's totally okay for Quilt to think that everyone in Barthis is nice. Consider - he's a golem made out of corpses. Corpses of people who Barthites (Barthisites?) might have known. He doesn't really need to eat, or sleep, or interact with people for material needs (not when he has the Greg middleman to do it). So, the people who've talked to him are the kind of people who make Jello for all their new neighbors anyway. The kind of people who would judge him don't really talk to him. It's all they can do to show their condescension, since more outright aggression results in horrible retribution from their iron-fisted magi betters.

p.s. All you people being like "How can Quilt possibly be related to the Chosen and Celesto, he was built out of a splinter cell that never actually knew about Celesto." To you I say - cause has to precede effect? That sounds like a rule to me.
That's the trouble with rules - they're so predictable.

[TheArsenal]

Which makes me wonder:

Aaah! Ork Teeth! Ostracize!

Aaah! Cripple! Ostracize!

Hey Abomination against nature made up of reanimated rotting corpses, Hows the family?

[Neoriceisgood]

Which makes me wonder:

Aaah! Ork Teeth! Ostracize!

Aaah! Cripple! Ostracize!

Hey Abomination against nature made up of reanimated rotting corpses, Hows the family?

Well they're not in Brooklyn anymore, that makes a big difference.

[Deme]

I'd like to point out that I came up with the whole Chosen = Chaos = Celesto idea about 2 weeks ago. When I was coming up with reasons why they might go to Quilt specifically in the first place.

The thing about this page that infuriates me the most is that they're basically saying "Oh, we had no reason to think you could be useful, but we asked you anyway for the lulz."

[colonelslime]

I think the comic just implied that Quilt has been adding pieces to himself. Why would he comment on the nice people of Barthis, if he had not INCORPORATED some of the into HIMSELF,

[mwchase]

I'm going to guess that Luna actually figured "Yeah, he could help. No, wait, he's useless. Oh, okay, he's helpful." and told Quilt this as she thought it, not out of any desire to manipulate his emotions, but because that's how she's used to being related to. I mean, you know, being arbitrarily jerked around by external forces in the service of 'drama'.

[Slayn82]

Which makes me wonder:

Aaah! Ork Teeth! Ostracize!

Aaah! Cripple! Ostracize!

Hey Abomination against nature made up of reanimated rotting corpses, Hows the family?

Well, Quilt is part of the community after all. Actually, a lot of parts.

And, given that he mostly either is minding his own business (unlike the others above), or helping with his supernatural strenght to rebuild the city, and also having connections with the most important figures around, well, people would actually leave him alone, at most making some small pranks.

Oh i see it now. Kids probably go to his house and throw dead and rotten things, and he looks and say "Oww, they love me... they are so nice"

[Welf]

Hey Abomination against nature made up of reanimated rotting corpses, Hows the family?

Good question btw. What about the families of the 6 chosen? Or were they all orphaned singles who moved to Barthis?

[Slayn82]

Could you really recognize the bodyparts of someone if you saw them just arranged together as makin another body? Well, people who receive face transplants look neither like they were, nor like the donnor. Kilt's face is even worse than that...

[Palmer]

Good question btw. What about the families of the 6 chosen? Or were they all orphaned singles who moved to Barthis?

Uh, hello? evil. Everyone knows they just crawled out of the Bog of Badness. Evil people have no family.

[Johnny Blade]

So, funny thing. Today at the gym, I was on the treadmill when a huge (Really, HUGE!), fat, hairy guy walked in, wearing a t-shirt with a mammoth on it. I missed two steps and nearly fell off because I had to laugh.

Then I come home and see that Mookie has just released this.

[Wraith]

As if I weren't creepy enough, being made out of dead people.

For some reason, I really like this line by Quilt. It implies a lot of things that have thus far remained absent from the comic; that Quilt has enough depth and social awareness to realise that he is 'weird', and that he obviously cares about how people perceive this, and thus, himself.

I'd really like for Mookie to expand upon this theme further.
What exactly is day-to-day life like for a composite Golem of human remains? Does he have their memories and tastes as well as their powers? Are they still 'alive' inside of him, and he can make out their individual thoughts and emotions if he concentrates on them hard enough? And how much of his cheerful, seemingly dim-witted antics are genuine and how much are a façade that he maintains in order to make people forget what sort of unholy abomination that, deep down, he knows himself to be?

I doubt that I will get my wish, however. That one likeable line will have to suffice,

[Mr. McGician]

So Luna is in a race against the most powerful mage in the Dominion to find Celesto, and she stops to... give Quilt a checkup?

[mwchase]

So Luna is in a race against the most powerful mage in the Dominion to find Celesto, and she stops to... give Quilt a checkup?

Ugh, wth are there so many sidequests?! They break up the flow, and I can't help but wonder how much of the advertised playtime I'm sinking into shuffling around people to alterists and scanners. And alterist scanners.

Why are you even playing this game, if not to interact with the rich tapestry of a world that Mr. Terracciano has woven before us? Besides, the quest rewards more than make up for it all.

You mean the necromantic effluvia collection sequence!? That's total bs! Whose idea was it to make it so that certain class skills were required just to craft quest junk together?! It wouldn't be so bad if I could just pay for it, but no. I had to suck up to a bunch of emaciated goths for weeks!

I am genuinely unsure whether goths are actually supposed to exist in canon. Um, anyway, you can buy the crafting. You just have to complete the main Maltak plot fi... oh. OH. You took the villain path, didn't you?

I am genuinely unsure whether it's actually possible to make an MMO work like that. Rule Of Funny. Or, I guess it works kind of like I've heard Guild Wars does? With instanced worlds, and such. So, SiggyPwnzPiggartz has Tox'xel living as a refugee king in the ruins of Maltak, after being forced out of Hell by Karnak, or something.

(I'm thinking of adding fanon/memes stuff, like the DDOfH:O forum posts, and, I don't know, iconic slay moments, to the wiki, for easy reference. Because checking up on the names was actually a bit of a pain. Any thoughts? I'll try to actually do this myself, once my final projects are in.)

[Gez]

Luna, if you're only now convinced that Quilt could be helpful, why did you seek him out in the first place?

"Hey, Quilt, you're going to help me find Celesto because the nature of your arcane talents makes it so that you're hard to trace, so it'll be useful to us. Oh, but you've got a sort of connection to Celesto via the Chosen! Maybe you will be helpful after all!"

(To be fair, this is probably intended in reply to Quilt's line in the first panel, but it was already replied to ("I know what's wrong [and I'll fix it]") so it doesn't really make sense. Something like "See, I knew you'd be a huge help!" would have been more appropriate.)

[Johnny Blade]

You need to consider that Luna has the memory of a goldfish and not enough brainpower to utilize even that.

[Fawkes]

So wait... everyone in Barthis is nice now? But they didn't used to be?

Remember when some bad guy blew up the town, and Gregory bubbled everyone he could, but he could only save some of the population?

Yeah. Apparently he was playing favorites.

[Garland]

Never fear, I got this. See, he couldn't save the bad dudes because.... uh... his white fire bubbles were repelled by people with evil in their hearts. So yyyyyyyyeah.... that's it!

everything is fine again

[Ghill]

Okay, one word to this talk of "saving the good people of Barthis".

SQUICK

I have not been so squicked out by a webcomic since Dan and Mab's Furry Adventures.

Spoiler

Show

Kria is an unopposed serial killer, and so are a lot of the supporting cast.

I had been under the impression that Gregory saved everyone who was still alive at the time he arrived, but he had not arrived soon enough to save everyone. I could be wrong though.
Yes, I am that good.
I like rocketpony's theory, but I still can't shake the squick.

EDIT: HAHAHAhahaaaaaa. No, I didn't mean "save" in the Maltak sense of the word. I meant picking and choosing who lives and who dies when he could have saved rescued them all.

[mwchase]

I have not been so squicked out by a webcomic since Dan and Mab's Furry Adventures.

Spoiler

Show

Kria is an unopposed serial killer, and so are a lot of the supporting cast.

Here's a less sociopathic, but more "Wait... huh?" kind of thing (that may have been addressed, since i fell off the binge): Kevin and Kell:

Spoiler

Show

In a world where pretty much everything is intelligent, milk outside of breastfeeding is, IIRC, a black market kind of substance. How must it be produced? Think about it. Yeah, that happens.

Although, I guess that complaint also applies to K&K, except replace "supporting cast" with "everyone, including the main characters".

So, today's lesson is, Spark is the herald of an age of madness and horror, as prohibitions against cannibalism become worn down, not through a restriction of personhood as is convenient, but an expansion of personhood well outside what is convenient. Pleasant dreams, everyone.

[Welf]

Could you really recognize the bodyparts of someone if you saw them just arranged together as makin another body? Well, people who receive face transplants look neither like they were, nor like the donnor. Kilt's face is even worse than that...

That#s a good point. I wonder if they ever bothered to tell the townsfolk of Barthis what and who Quilt is made of.

Uh, hello? evil. Everyone knows they just crawled out of the Bog of Badness. Evil people have no family.

Apparently they did a scry on Quilt's "family". Since it was never ever mentioned again we can assume that he doesn't have any blood-relatives and your theory is correct.

[mwchase]

By the way, I just want to establish, I do think there should be something going on with Miranda and the Beast. IMO, it was implied that Miranda was the first anything to travel to the Elemecca. The other four characters we've seen there all made their trips after EaE, in which Miranda banished TIM to a plane that just happened to be accessible to the Beast, who was born in the Elemecca. Since then, the Beast has, IIRC, focused its attention on the two other living characters who spent any time in the Elemecca. That aside, we still have the whole "she's been around to influence the visions and scries" thing.

So, it looks to me like the Beast is some kind of extraplanar extension of Miranda's consciousness. It might actually be that she's not aware of it, but it acts on her desires because she's not aware of it, and therefore cannot stop it.