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2011-07-11, 11:08 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2008
- Location
- Chicago
- Gender
Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
Last edited by Flame of Anor; 2012-01-13 at 01:28 AM.
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2011-07-11, 11:08 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2011
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
Licking lampposts in winter.
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2011-07-11, 11:49 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Apr 2007
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
2. Having a +1 Vorpal Sword of Speed at level 14 (I was a newb, OK?)
3.Jumping off the ship to fight a CR 24 Leviathin that was attacking the ship of our level 14 party, and 1 shoting it.
4. Keeping the head that was the size of a house as a trophey.
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2011-07-11, 11:51 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2009
- Location
- An Unknown Planet
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
5. Refusing to search for traps until paid.
Disclaimer: Above message may contain inanity, irrelevant silliness, and/or madness. Viewer Discretion is Advised.
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2011-07-12, 12:18 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2011
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
6. I may never play a cleric capable of casting Animate Dead. Ever.
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2011-07-12, 12:22 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2009
- Location
- Surrounded by Books
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
7. I may never have my half-orc barbarian invent the "Saddle-pult", mount it on his back, and load the Halfling Druid. Nor may I then charge with said preparations at an enemy with the intention of flinging the Halfling for him to wildshape mid-flight into a tiger.
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2011-07-12, 01:06 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2008
- Location
- Chicago
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
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2011-07-12, 06:57 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2009
- Location
- Perth, West Australia
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
8. Refuge in Audacity does not grant Resistance bonuses.
9. Doomspeak does not require me to put a green cloak and steel mask on and randomly announce that DOOM is here to solve your pitiful moral quandary.
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2011-07-12, 07:13 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2009
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
10. I may not bring puppets to the table.
11. Not even if they are really good puppets.
12. The giant serpent is not a cheese doodle.
13. The giant serpent is not made out of cheese doodles.
14. I may not win fights by eating the monster.
15. The monster is not the stand in for the miniature.
16. I should not expect NPC's to flirt back.
17. Attempting to seduce an NPC is right out.
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2011-07-12, 07:19 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jan 2008
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
18) No building characters that can build five-dot artifacts at character creation.
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2011-07-12, 07:27 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2010
- Location
- Anywhere but here
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
19. I may not help the party warblade optimize.
20. Especially if said optimization allows her to one-shot a hydra.
21. I may not have access to anything vorpal ever again.
22. I may not boost my Tumble to "I don't even have to roll, I win"
23. Ditto for Balance.
24. Ditto for Jump.
25. I may not introduce the party spellcaster to the concept of the Batman Wizard.
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2011-07-12, 08:14 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2009
- Location
- Surrounded by Books
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
26. I may not stab an innocent shopkeeper in the face, because a sentient dagger told me to.
27. "A sentient dagger told me to" is not a valid excuse unless you failed your will save.
28. I may not turn my sentient ring into a god.
29. I may not have one of my teeth replaced with a gold tooth which has been enchanted to be a sentient magic item, with a high value in Wisdom and call it a Wisdom Tooth.
30. I may not have sentient magic items. Ever.
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2011-07-12, 08:23 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2009
- Location
- Perth, West Australia
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
31. Charlie Sheen is not a natural 20. No matter how often he shouts "WINNING!"
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2011-07-12, 09:35 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2010
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
32. I may not accidentally make an airship in a medieval setting.
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2011-07-12, 10:24 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2009
- Location
- Surrounded by Books
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
32a. Even if it's Magitech.
33. I will not mislead the new guy by telling him that the Samurai is a great class
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2011-07-12, 10:32 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2011
- Location
- France
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
34. I may not, in any CoC-based game, make a character with ridiculously low sanity with the sole objective of making them go absolutely mad before the end of the campaign.
I need to at leastpretend Iintend to have said character do something else beside digging up all the corpses, reading all the occult books, and witnessing all the mind-breaking events.Last edited by Mono Vertigo; 2011-07-12 at 10:32 AM.
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2011-07-12, 11:27 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2010
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
35: "throw anything" doesn't cover small asteroids, no matter how much I wish it did
Time is but a pattern in the currents of causality,
an ever changing present that determines our reality,
the past we see as history, the future seed with prophecy,
and all the time we think on time our time is passing constantly.
Starlight and Steam RPG
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2011-07-12, 11:41 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2010
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
Imagine if all real-world conversations were like internet D&D conversations...
Protip: DnD is an incredibly social game played by some of the most socially inept people on the planet - Lev
I read this somewhere and I stick to it: "I would rather play a bad system with my friends than a great system with nobody". - Trevlac
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2011-07-12, 11:43 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2010
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
Imagine if all real-world conversations were like internet D&D conversations...
Protip: DnD is an incredibly social game played by some of the most socially inept people on the planet - Lev
I read this somewhere and I stick to it: "I would rather play a bad system with my friends than a great system with nobody". - Trevlac
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2011-07-12, 11:50 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2009
- Location
- Surrounded by Books
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
36. I may not use Welsh's List as a bucket list for my character.
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2011-07-12, 12:06 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2011
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
37. The solution to every problem, puzzle, and challenge in the game is not "murder."
38. Newly-Exalted Deathknights do not make good pets.
39. When the goal is to stop a series of ritual sacrifices, "murdering the victims first" is not Plan A.
40. If I choose to kill a group of Wyld Hunters, hide their bodies, and steal all their artifacts, I am not allowed to call the reaction of the party's Immaculate Monk "silly."
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2011-07-12, 12:08 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2006
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
41. Not allowed to have a character cut himself with a sword of vampiric touch to set up a recursive loop.
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2011-07-12, 12:11 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2010
- Location
- The Chasm of Clams
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
42. No longer allowed to have a character that can change gender at will. Ever.
Last edited by Tech Boy; 2011-07-12 at 12:12 PM.
Freedom is to say that two plus two equals four, if that is granted, all else will follow.
http://the-ethan-yazel.deviantart.com
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2011-07-12, 12:46 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2011
- Location
- France
- Gender
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2011-07-12, 12:47 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2008
- Location
- Chicago
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
Last edited by Flame of Anor; 2011-07-12 at 03:16 PM.
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2011-07-12, 01:12 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2009
- Location
- Surrounded by Books
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
My players once ate a Red Dragon after slaying it. They ate it raw.
...
43. I may not make a female character who where's bikini mail and wields a broadsword.
44. I may not play a Dragonwrought Kobold. Ever.
45. I may not apply more than one template to my character. Okay, maybe two.
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2011-07-12, 01:24 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2010
- Location
- The Edge of Madness
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
46: No matter how much I want the shiny thing at the bottom of the pit trap, I am not allowed to jump in a second time.
46a: Or a third time.
46b: Or a fourth, fifth, or sixth time, for that matter.Last edited by DaragosKitsune; 2011-07-12 at 01:25 PM.
SpoilerIf the line between genius and madness is so thin...
Then why do so few in this day and age toe said line?
Thanks to Bongos for the v-13 avvie!
I think the lesson that we can take away from this is that tentacles solve everything, and if you have a problem, then you just need more tentacles. - seadragonknight of the BG boards.
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2011-07-12, 01:27 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2009
- Location
- Surrounded by Books
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
47. I may never have an intimacy towards shiny things
48. Nor may I have a flaw that requires me to pursue shiny things
49. "But he had a shiny thing!" is not a valid excuse for murder.
50. Just because something is shiny, that does not mean it's valuable. I may not use spoons in place of currency.
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2011-07-12, 01:40 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2008
- Location
- Xin-Shalast
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
51. I may not suggest forcing the assassins that were hired to kill us by the enemy army to fight the enemy army for us.
52. I may not force indentured servitude upon the street urchins that are hired to toss rotten fruit at us.
53. I may not point out that it actually states in the rules that natural weapons have a crit range.
54. May not use Mirror Image, as we still can't figure that one out. x.x
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2011-07-12, 01:42 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2011
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry