Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry

[hewhosaysfish]

1597: Not allowed to develop a mass gender change spell that only affects one gender.

That implies the DM would be OK with you creating a mass gender change spell which affects both genders (or more!).
That seems implausible...

[byaku rai]

1601: I am not allowed to homebrew monsters which attach to my PCs' heads and do an arbitrarily high amount of damage, no save permitted, whenever they make a bad pun.

1601a: Even if I really, really want to.

[Volthawk]

1601: I am not allowed to homebrew monsters which attach to my PCs' heads and do an arbitrarily high amount of damage, no save permitted, whenever they make a bad pun.

1601a: Even if I really, really want to.

So, what, puncrabs?

[BlackestOfMages]

1600: I am retroactively not allowed to wild empathy the tarrasque due to the fact that wild empathy does not work on intelligent creatures.

inteligence 3, it falls outside the intelegent creatures bubble

[byaku rai]

inteligence 3, it falls outside the intelegent creatures bubble

Int 3 is the minimum for "intelligent" actually.

[Morithias]

That implies the DM would be OK with you creating a mass gender change spell which affects both genders (or more!).
That seems implausible...

It's actually one of the suggested plot points in the BOEF. So if the DM can use it, so can I.

1602: Not allowed to give a warforged the troll blooded feat.

[boomwolf]

1603: I may not play knights named "Sir Humpalot"

[Morithias]

1603: I may not play knights named "Sir Humpalot"

1604: Not allowed to play a master alchemist named "sir mix-a-lot"

[boomwolf]

1604: Not allowed to play a master alchemist named "sir mix-a-lot"

1604a: Double so a bard.

1605: Said bard will neither be named "Maxwell Edison"

1605a: Especially if he focuses on debuffing bardic music...

(how on earth did I manage to get these two under my DM's radar for crying out loud? I mean Maxwell Edison and Humpalot...)

[Randomguy]

1600: I am retroactively not allowed to wild empathy the tarrasque due to the fact that wild empathy does not work on intelligent creatures.

1600b: My monk with maxed out diplomacy and tongue of the sun and the moon isn't allowed to talk to the Tarrasque.

[Belril Duskwalk]

1606: I am not allowed to handle the first five levels of combat with nothing but Color Spray.

[ryu]

1606a: And no after battle clean up on the prone enemies doesn't count.

1606b: Neither does throwing in other debuffs. That's just adding insult to injury.

[Esprit15]

1607: The verbal component of Mass Hold Person is not the lyrics to Petrified.
1607b: No, not even just the corus.

1608: If I make an epic spell that acts as a mass Flesh to Stone, again, the lyrics are not any part of the song Petrified.

1609: The verbal component of any fire spell is not the lyrics to Great Balls of Fire.

1610: The lyrics to High Voltage/H! Vltg3 are not part of the verbal component of any electrical spell.

1611: The lyrics to- oh **** it! Lyrics are not a substitute for verbal components!
1611b: Bards are exempt from rule 1609.
1611c: Rule 1609b is no longer in effect.

1612: "When in doubt, yell something random." may not be my motto.
1612b: No matter how funny it is.

[Belril Duskwalk]

1613: Pyromania is not an acceptable Flaw for an Evoker Wizard Player Character.

[Siosilvar]

1613: Pyromania is not an acceptable Flaw for an Evoker Wizard Player Character.

1613b: Unless, of course, the character is a sentient dessert from Transylvania.
Also known as a Pie from Romania.

[ryu]

Uh I think you meant a desert.

[Esprit15]

Uh I think you meant a desert.

What deserts are there in Transylvania?

[byaku rai]

1614: "the Rocky Horror Picture Show" is not appropriate material to base a campaign on.

[ryu]

What deserts are there in Transylvania?

It's less silly an alternative than ice cream or some pastry that likes to set things on fire right. At least deserts are known for heat...

[Esprit15]

It's less silly an alternative than ice cream or some pastry that likes to set things on fire right. At least deserts are known for heat...

But who wouldn't want a créme brûlée/anything ending with flambé running around with a torch setting fire to the landscape?

[BlackestOfMages]

Int 3 is the minimum for "intelligent" actually.

darn, my groups been influencing far to mant critters

[Siosilvar]

It's less silly an alternative than ice cream or some pastry that likes to set things on fire right. At least deserts are known for heat...

It's a pie. From Romania.

Pie + Romania = a very subtle pun.

See also rule 1554.

[ryu]

Would have been less confusing if you'd used Romania rather than Transylvania from the start. Although I suppose that would make it more obvious... Eh not all puns are easy to make.

[Vknight]

1615: I cannot play a blind or deaf person in Call of Cthulhu

1616: Babies do make god ammunition for the catapult if their 'Tarrasque' eggs

1617: My Paladin can still worship Asmodeus in Pathfinder & 4e
1617b: Still makes the Dm cry

1618: Hellknight just have to be Lawful in alignment...
1618b: Yes a Hellknight Paladin is an acceptable character

1619: Charisma does not determine appearance...
1619b: Except when it does

1620: Turning into a Vampiric entity at the end of the CoC session is not winning
1620b: Nor is ending in the 'The King in Yellow's' Realm

[boomwolf]

1621: Matrix references in fantasy setting will NOT end well.

[turkishproverb]

1622: I may no longer add cybernetics to party members while they sleep in order to kill them.

[Hazzardevil]

1623:
When we fight magical creautes, I may not use science to kill them.

1624:
I am not to point out in character the flaws in NPC logic.

1625:
I am also forbidden from statting up Alucard or Sebastion and using them in game.

1625a:
Doubly so if I start using another PC as their masters.

1626b:
Choosing an NPC for a reason for the character to adventure though is perfectly acceptable to advance the plot if my character is approved.

[Metahuman1]

1627: I may not sit down to play a super hero game having built a Jedi Knight or a Sith Lord.

1628: Even if it's rules legal.

[Dorni]

1629: When the DM sets his colossal sized monster which he spent hours building on the party, I am not allowed Dimension Door the party across the room and out the door.

[Sith_Happens]

1630. I may not use Diplomacy checks as a substitute for any kind of meaningful interaction with the rest of the party. Not even The Giant's Persuasion variant.
1630a. Especially not The Giant's Persuasion variant.
1630b. Especially not while loot is being divided.