"Wait, that didn't work right" - the Dysfunctional Rules Collection

[RecklessAbaddon]

I don't think alcohol is actually ever called a poison in D&D, officially. Or given effects, outside of drunken master.

I'm one of those people that uses common sense in DnD though, so verbatum anything in my opinion that effects someone negatively is indeed a poison. The only reason a poison is called a poison is because the LC/50 is a relatively low number. Some Poisons effect motor functions, and to that effect alcohol functions much like a poison. I don't use rules as is most of the time because they just don't make any sense practically.

On that not with the argument about Armor being stupid for AC, I agree. It should act more like DR. However I would also allow (depending on what kind of armor it is) certain weapons to either pierce a part of it, or with a blunt weapon still hurt like a freight Train.

But like i said for anything that doesn't involve magic i use practical knowledge for what its effect is. If the dnd rules say it works differently i disregard them and just house rule it how i want.

Magic however is of course the constantly present trump care in DnD.

[Elitarismo]

AC is fine, as it can reflect things like hit but do no damage just fine. DR does not do this. If you wanted to reflect armor piercing then make Bludgeoning weapons ignore a certain amount of armor bonus to AC.

[Ksheep]

One thought of mine to fix the armor AC issue (albeit a relatively complex one):
Bludgeoning: Ignores or partially ignores armor-based AC (Goes off of touch, or touch + half armor bonus)
Slashing: If it hits touch but not total AC, it's a hit and does subdual damage. If it hits total AC, it gets through (weak spot or damaging armor).
Piercing: Only does damage if it breaks total AC.

May also adjust shields to provide shield bonus + half dec (a shield is no good if you can't move it to block).

No idea how well this would work (would probably be too complicated), but it would make people pay more attention to the type of weapon. May also allow for Weapon Finesse to be a free feat, at it makes more sense that light weapons and certain one handed weapons are solely dependent on Dex (maybe add a -2 penalty if trying to go off Str alone for those weapons?)

[Bovine Colonel]

One thought of mine to fix the armor AC issue (albeit a relatively complex one):
Bludgeoning: Ignores or partially ignores armor-based AC (Goes off of touch, or touch + half armor bonus)
Slashing: If it hits touch but not total AC, it's a hit and does subdual damage. If it hits total AC, it gets through (weak spot or damaging armor).
Piercing: Only does damage if it breaks total AC.

May also adjust shields to provide shield bonus + half dec (a shield is no good if you can't move it to block).

No idea how well this would work (would probably be too complicated), but it would make people pay more attention to the type of weapon. May also allow for Weapon Finesse to be a free feat, at it makes more sense that light weapons and certain one handed weapons are solely dependent on Dex (maybe add a -2 penalty if trying to go off Str alone for those weapons?)

If you're going to do that I'd recommend something like +Dex to attack with piercing weapons.

[Hiro Protagonest]

One thought of mine to fix the armor AC issue (albeit a relatively complex one):
Bludgeoning: Ignores or partially ignores armor-based AC (Goes off of touch, or touch + half armor bonus)
Slashing: If it hits touch but not total AC, it's a hit and does subdual damage. If it hits total AC, it gets through (weak spot or damaging armor).
Piercing: Only does damage if it breaks total AC.

May also adjust shields to provide shield bonus + half dec (a shield is no good if you can't move it to block).

No idea how well this would work (would probably be too complicated), but it would make people pay more attention to the type of weapon. May also allow for Weapon Finesse to be a free feat, at it makes more sense that light weapons and certain one handed weapons are solely dependent on Dex (maybe add a -2 penalty if trying to go off Str alone for those weapons?)

Piercing is the fighter, slashing is the warblade, and bludgeoning is the druid.

[Dusk Eclipse]

I'm one of those people that uses common sense in DnD though, so verbatum anything in my opinion that effects someone negatively is indeed a poison. The only reason a poison is called a poison is because the LC/50 is a relatively low number. Some Poisons effect motor functions, and to that effect alcohol functions much like a poison. I don't use rules as is most of the time because they just don't make any sense practically.

Actually I think Alcohol is ruled as a poison in A&EG it is 3.0 though; but there is always the grandfather clause

[Gotterdammerung]

In the complete scoundrel there is a section on "Legendary Sites"

And basically how they work is if you went there and did a certain thing then you get a minor bonus related to the Legendary Site. But Since the creators don't like to give away anything for free, Visiting these sites lower your wealth by a certain amount. Its not much, mind you, but the "Wait that didn't work right" moment is when you get to page 149 for the Legendary Iron Wyrm Vault!

This Vault is apparently the vault of a nation and has legendary traps and guardians n such and massive wonders of treasure. To get the bonus from the legendary vault you must sneak in undetected and rob the vault of at least 1 item. By doing this you gain great renown in the thieves world which manifests itself in the form of a bonus thiefy roleplay feat and some roleplay skill bonuses with thiefs and penatlies with guards.

Heres the stupid part. Doing all of this costs you 3k gold.....

You just robbed a legendary vault and you came out of the whole ordeal minus 3k gold....
What the hell kind of crap thief are you?
Did you botch the appraise roll? Was your one item a cookie?
How do you sneak into a room filled with a nations treasure and then sneak out without getting caught and STILL end up poorer than when you started?

[ThiefInTheNight]

Maybe that's how the nation's defense really works: they know that their traps and guards aren't foolproof, but they've ensured that the costs of mounting such an operation are greater than the value of any item you could reasonably smuggle out on your person.

[Drelua]

Maybe that's how the nation's defense really works: they know that their traps and guards aren't foolproof, but they've ensured that the costs of mounting such an operation are greater than the value of any item you could reasonably smuggle out on your person.

That's where the at least one item must be stolen bit comes in. Also, that's the reason I love extra-dimensional storage.

[ThiefInTheNight]

Presumably such an epic vault would have protections against that...

[Drelua]

Presumably such an epic vault would have protections against that...

True, but how big are these things? Get a backpack and you'd have to be able to get a few things, and they should be worth a lot in such an epic vault, yes?

[Flickerdart]

It's because the treasure was inside of you all along.

[Gotterdammerung]

I think the moral of the story is

"Crime Doesn't Pay"

[Arbane]

It's because the treasure was inside of you all along.

"I'll check. Hand me my fish knife."

[Flickerdart]

"I'll check. Hand me my fish knife."

And that's the story of the 3000gp hospital bill.

[deuxhero]

I thought CS's feats from locations were merely counted as part of the treasure for that adventure.

[Ksheep]

And that's the story of the 3000gp hospital bill.

That's the story of the 1000 gp reincarnation bill and 2000 gp fee for fencing the loot.

[Flickerdart]

That's the story of the 1000 gp reincarnation bill and 2000 gp fee for fencing the loot.

Or even better, 1000gp reincarnation, 1530gp to get a Cleric to cast Miracle on you to turn you back from a badger, and the change goes to bribes.

[Gotterdammerung]

I thought CS's feats from locations were merely counted as part of the treasure for that adventure.

They are.

But the guy who broke into the King's vault has 3k less gold than other adventurers at his lvl.

[Gadora]

In the complete scoundrel there is a section on "Legendary Sites"

And basically how they work is if you went there and did a certain thing then you get a minor bonus related to the Legendary Site. But Since the creators don't like to give away anything for free, Visiting these sites lower your wealth by a certain amount. Its not much, mind you, but the "Wait that didn't work right" moment is when you get to page 149 for the Legendary Iron Wyrm Vault!

This Vault is apparently the vault of a nation and has legendary traps and guardians n such and massive wonders of treasure. To get the bonus from the legendary vault you must sneak in undetected and rob the vault of at least 1 item. By doing this you gain great renown in the thieves world which manifests itself in the form of a bonus thiefy roleplay feat and some roleplay skill bonuses with thiefs and penatlies with guards.

Heres the stupid part. Doing all of this costs you 3k gold.....

You just robbed a legendary vault and you came out of the whole ordeal minus 3k gold....
What the hell kind of crap thief are you?
Did you botch the appraise roll? Was your one item a cookie?
How do you sneak into a room filled with a nations treasure and then sneak out without getting caught and STILL end up poorer than when you started?

I could have sworn that the price was stated to be a guideline to help the DM keep the party's power in line with the wealth by level charts.

*checks*

Yeah, page 142 under Ability Value.

Ability Value: This entry provides the gp value of the conferred ability. Although these abilities can never be bought or sold, they can be substituted for treasure of like value and count toward the benefitting character's overall wealth.

So, though it isn't borked the way you were thinking, this does mean that, when combined with the concept of WBL, robbing a vault means that your foes suddenly have less for you to loot.

Heck, WBL is kind of messed up in it's own right.

[Dimers]

"I'll check. Hand me my fish knife."

Hey, they did that one in Planescape: Torment ... if you're immortal, regenerating and amnesiac, why not dig around in your guts to see if you hid anything earlier?

[Firechanter]

Hey, they did that one in Planescape: Torment ... if you're immortal, regenerating and amnesiac, why not dig around in your guts to see if you hid anything earlier?

Yeah, and when you're done and sewn up again, you have some intestines left over in your inventory. =D

PS:T was the best CRPG _ever_.

[Basket Burner]

Death, Less Frenzy:

The Frenzied Berserker's Deathless Frenzy ability prevents them from being disabled at 0 HP, dying at negative 1-9 HP, and even prevents them from being dead at -10 HP and lower. It does not however do anything at all to prevent unconsciousness from nonlethal damage. Such as that which you automatically take every round while in a Frenzy. And since you must be in a Frenzy to use Deathless Frenzy, this means you drop unconscious exactly the same as you would if you did not have this ability. If you use it with Rage, the dropout itself might kill you, without need for a simple follow up attack.

Monkey Don't See, Monkey Do:

Whenever some but not all of those involved in a combat are aware of it, a surprise round occurs. This can be deliberately exploited, by keeping a small animal such as a monkey within a covered, soundproof enclosure. As the monkey is unaware of what is going on, that means everyone else gets a surprise round. Everyone else includes the enemies (unless they are somehow unaware of you) but getting a free standard action helps some classes a lot more than others for reasons that should be obvious.

[The Glyphstone]

I dunno about the second one there - if the monkey is in a opaque and soundproof enclosure, it can't really be considered as being 'involved' in the combat; it can't be targeted or affected by blasts/bursts/spreads.

[ThiefInTheNight]

Monkey Don't See, Monkey Do:

Whenever some but not all of those involved in a combat are aware of it, a surprise round occurs. This can be deliberately exploited, by keeping a small animal such as a monkey within a covered, soundproof enclosure. As the monkey is unaware of what is going on, that means everyone else gets a surprise round. Everyone else includes the enemies (unless they are somehow unaware of you) but getting a free standard action helps some classes a lot more than others for reasons that should be obvious.

Oh wooow, that's a bad one.

I mean, you'd have to justify the monkey being a part of the combat, which is probably why it wouldn't fly... but that just means getting more creative with the set-up...

[CTrees]

Just have a deaf, blind rat tied to your belt. Perfectly targetable, but unlikely to notice enemies. Plug its nose if necessary.

[Basket Burner]

Oh wooow, that's a bad one.

I mean, you'd have to justify the monkey being a part of the combat, which is probably why it wouldn't fly... but that just means getting more creative with the set-up...

This is a thread bout RAW being broken. Sure it doesn't make sense and should probably be handled differently. That's the whole point. If that particular setup doesn't work, than anything else with a deaf, blind small animal will. I just chose the most humane way of doing it.

[The Glyphstone]

Yeah, but in a thread about stupid RAW, we also get to nitpick specific and exact wordings of RAW to make sure it's actually stupid. In this case, the blind and deaf rat tied to your belt (well, better would be leading it on a string, because the rat might be considered an attended object rather than a creature there) would work, but the caged monkey is questionable.

[noparlpf]

What exactly is the purpose of this? Everybody gets an extra round...so what? It's as if you all get ordinary rounds anyway.
There are a few effects which function differently during a "surprise round", but aside from that, it would end up just like normal combat.

[DeadManSleeping]

A caster doesn't need both a move action and a standard action to start setup. Just a standard action. A non-caster is stuck just moving forward (possibly provoking AoOs) and not getting the chance to attack, unless they have a good ranged attack, which, even then, is left as a standard attack. And then the caster, one spell up, gets to go again.