Dominic Deegan: Oracle for Hire, Mk. XLI: No Morals! No Quarter! All Brutal!

[Toast1862]

How metal can one be on a tiny harp made of carefully grown tree branches or whatever that is?

Do we even have any indication of what traditional Callanian music is like? The Semashi have opera, Orcs have the Chandaks, Elves are BeAUTIFUL, dwarves and halflings presumably have drinking songs for every conceivable occasion, and Callan has what? Nursery tunes? Novelty songs from the Magical Prohibition era. (Which is not about a prohibition on magic, or a magically enforced prohibition, but more like real Prohibition, with a magical veneer. As you know.)

Callanian music is Kpop. This is my headcanon and no one can take it from me.

[TheArsenal]

And now for something completely different:

In the plains of Maltak:

BOOOM

An orc named sploosh barely dodges a huge blast of fire

"Goddam that Callanian monster!"

A wedge for rock almost crushes him

"Why did she have to force us into one area!"

A necrotic blast misses him by a milimeter

"There was a reason we split because of our differences!"

A Giant vine grabs and chokes the spearwielding Sploosh to death.

[BlackDragonKing]

Callanian music is Kpop. This is my headcanon and no one can take it from me.

Is...is that good or bad?

[Johnny Blade]

More importantly, what is it? I mean, I know what it stands for (now), but...yeah, that's it.

So, was Jayden ever meant to have a character arc of her own?

Maybe she was, but there's a rather obvious problem with writing a character arc for Jayden.

Oi, don't mock the purple! There's nothing wrong with buying absolutely everything you own in purple. Which is definitely not something I do. Only half of my clothes are purple. The other half are black.

I lament the apparent lack of orange to go with the purple.

[Toast1862]

Is...is that good or bad?

More importantly, what is it? I mean, I know what it stands for (now), but...yeah, that's it.

Oh, it's very good, in a terrible way. This was definitely the song Miranda and Donovan danced to at their wedding, no question. Now I want to make a G-Dragon snoutperson....

Edit: Oh, I forgot to say what it is. Think of the most awful popular American music and add worse fashion sense and hilarious Engrish.

I lament the apparent lack of orange to go with the purple.

Orange? Bleh, green is better. Everything must be purple, green and black.

[Johnny Blade]

Oh, it's very good, in a terrible way. This was definitely the song Miranda and Donovan danced to at their wedding, no question. Now I want to make a G-Dragon snoutperson....

I can tell you something that's most likely even more terrible, and not in a good way - it's that everything copyrighted on Youtube can't be accessed in Germany.

What's that song you linked to called?

Orange? Bleh, green is better. Everything must be purple, green and black.

Green? Only with red. How would that even look like with purple? Unless it's a pinkish purple, I guess, that I could tolerate.
(I try to dress only in complementary colors, except that everything which would be yellow must be replaced with something in a really bright green or orange for obvious reasons. Yellow is the worst color.)

[Arakune]

And now for something completely different:

In the plains of Maltak:

BOOOM

An orc named sploosh barely dodges a huge blast of fire

"Goddam that Callanian monster!"

A wedge for rock almost crushes him

"Why did she have to force us into one area!"

A necrotic blast misses him by a milimeter

"There was a reason we split because of our differences!"

A Giant vine grabs and chokes the spearwielding Sploosh to death.

And there was much rejoicing.

[Toast1862]

I can tell you something that's most likely even more terrible, and not in a good way - it's that everything copyrighted on Youtube can't be accessed in Germany.

What's that song you linked to called?

Aw. >: But it's so terrible. It's called Heartbreaker by G-Dragon.

Green? Only with red. How would that even look like with purple? Unless it's a pinkish purple, I guess, that I could tolerate.
(I try to dress only in complementary colors, except that everything which would be yellow must be replaced with something green or orange for obvious reasons. Yellow is the worst color.)

Purple and green is the best color combination. I'm sure I have hundreds of pictures I've drawn with them, but the most recent is on my dA. Or in my Saints Row the Third character. Or many others!

And yellow really is the worst color. I hate it so, so much. I can stand it in small amounts with large quantities of purple, but it makes me fidget and twitch in even moderate quantities. It's an anxious, jittery color that is at best uncomfortable and at worst very distressing. (Pale yellow is the least awful, and I use it more often because of that.)

[TheArsenal]

To be crude its the color of pee.

Sorry im just incredibly immature. Like SUPER DUPER immature.

[Toast1862]

To be crude its the color of pee.

Sorry im just incredibly immature. Like SUPER DUPER immature.

You're not wrong, though.

[Johnny Blade]

Aw. >: But it's so terrible. It's called Heartbreaker by G-Dragon.

Well, that's on Dailymotion, too, so no prob-HOLY MOTHER****!

This is...I...Dominic Deegan must become an animated series. And this must be the soundtrack for everything! Maybe throw in some Russian folk music elements for the werewolves - this would mix hilariously well when you think about it, by the way.

Okay, and I guess the orcs can bang on drums and do some "Heya heya heya!" or whatever, but that's the only concession I will ever make.

Purple and green is the best color combination. I'm sure I have hundreds of pictures I've drawn with them, but the most recent is on my dA. Or in my Saints Row the Third character. Or many others!

Nice.

Very regal.
Which also means it's not my style, though.

[Toast1862]

Well, that's on Dailymotion, too, so no prob-HOLY MOTHER****!

This is...I...Dominic Deegan must become an animated series. And this must be the soundtrack for everything! Maybe throw in some Russian folk music elements for the werewolves - this would mix hilariously well when you think about it, by the way.

Okay, and I guess the orcs can bang on drums and do some "Heya heya heya!" or whatever, but that's the only concession I will ever make.

A Dominic Deegan Kpop musical would pretty much make my entire life. Especially with such completely awful classics as Ring Ding Dong and I Go Crazy Because of You (bad quality, but it's not youtube). And right before the big romance scene, this (also dailymotion) can be re-enacted in full costume.

Note: the above videos are incredibly stupid. And I'm enjoying the thought of this theoretical musical way more than I should.

Edit: ... Hey wait that's not even T-ara doing I go crazy because of you, it's kara. Awesome. Okay, so it was T-ara and I can't see at all.

[TheArsenal]

Oh those whacky asians.

And yes russian music would make my day as well. Hopefully with Borsh and Vodka.

[Gez]

Oi, don't mock the purple! There's nothing wrong with buying absolutely everything you own in purple. Which is definitely not something I do. Only half of my clothes are purple. The other half are black.

Are you secretly Rose Lalonde? Is that why your webcomic's heroine is seeing the zoologically dubious?

(I try to dress only in complementary colors, except that everything which would be yellow must be replaced with something in a really bright green or orange for obvious reasons. Yellow is the worst color.)

I have a comic for you. (No, don't try to make sense out of it.)

[Toast1862]

Are you secretly Rose Lalonde? Is that why your webcomic's heroine is seeing the zoologically dubious?

That's actually a new one... usually I'm secretly Terezi, Dave or occasionally John. Or some lovechild combination thereof. Oh goddammit that means someone's reading the comic oh god I better start working on that...

I have a comic for you. (No, don't try to make sense out of it.)

I intend to do this from now on! Making lifestyle decisions based on colors and comics is always the most intelligent choice.

[H Birchgrove]

Hammer's Log, Stardate 2011-12-06:
Depressed girl with orc-ish tusks is very cute. Had this webcomic been about Hammer Birchgrove: Barbarian/Holy Liberator For Hire, Hammer would've told the douche (step-?) mother and the Lawful Stupid knight that tusks are HOT, and asked the sad girl for a date or two.

Snarky cat is fun.

BTW, if Mookie is using D & D as unofficial source, is Mr Deegan a Wizard or a Psion? He seems to behave more like a Wizard, using spells etc, but Seer is school of Psion(-ics) in D & D.

Please please keep us updated. If you can keep a running log of your thoughts, that would be amazing! It would be a re-run of the Experiment, with Koorly!

...

Well, Koorly almost had a few nervous breakdowns because of the Experiment. Maybe don't try and run Maltak through in one sitting?

Who is Koorly, and what is Maltak?

Keeping a log... I may actually try that. Sounds like good fun.

It gets bad at War in Hell.

When you get to March Across Maltak, think "Mighty Whitey saves the Native Americans".

I see, thanks for the heads-up.

[PhantomFox]

Hammer's Log, Stardate 2011-12-06:
Depressed girl with orc-ish tusks is very cute. Had this webcomic been about Hammer Birchgrove: Barbarian/Holy Liberator For Hire, Hammer would've told the douche (step-?) mother and the Lawful Stupid knight that tusks are HOT, and asked the sad girl for a date or two.

Snarky cat is fun.

BTW, if Mookie is using D & D as unofficial source, is Mr Deegan a Wizard or a Psion? He seems to behave more like a Wizard, using spells etc, but Seer is school of Psion(-ics) in D & D.



Who is Koorly, and what is Maltak?

Keeping a log... I may actually try that. Sounds like good fun.



I see, thanks for the heads-up.

Koorly is our nickname for CurlyKitGirl, who started reading through the archives and transcribed her reactions. I seem to remember she was a English major, and the bad writing, execution, and decision making in this comic enraged her several times. It was quite amusing. Don't we have a link to her posts somewhere around here?

[Trazoi]

Green? Only with red. How would that even look like with purple?

Toast is secretly The Joker.

And what's with the hate with yellow? Especially when it's the best complement to purple. Purple and gold, that's the ticket.

Other random stuff:

• Were we ever promised a Jayden arc? I thought Mookie only said we'd be seeing Jayden again. Which we did, mission accomplished, now for the main arc - whatever that is.
• Callanian music is glam. I don't blame that you blanked this out.
• Keep us updated Birchgrove. Koorly is the last brave soul who attempted a full archive binge with complete log. Maltak is, well, 2009. We lost a lot of good people there.

[Gwyn chan 'r Gwyll]

There was a self-described "epic" plot in DD that involved 'saving' the Orcish homeland of Maltak.

I think we lost easily a quarter of our population here to that arc, out of frustration and "I just can't do this anymore".

Us snarkers are always interested in those few who still have not become snarkers, and legitimately enjoy the comic, as we see an earlier version of us in you.
We're sort of like scientists, attempting to chart the journey from innocent fan, to jaded snarker.

[Hiro Protagonest]

I see, thanks for the heads-up.

Credit for the MAM thing goes to Oracle Hunter. The reason it's like that is because a Callanian (white) saves the orcs (very Native American culture). Of course, it also has to be Luna, who started getting major Sue in that arc because that's what happens whenever a first caste character gets the spotlight.

Also, Greg (you'll get to him later) is an enabled manchild, demonstrated most clearly in the Snowsong arc where Dom sets it up so he can live out his superhero fantasies. He's pretty good until Snowsong, I guess, but it's still a "not fully fleshed out" thing.

[Traab]

Credit for the MAM thing goes to Oracle Hunter. The reason it's like that is because a Callanian (white) saves the orcs (very Native American culture). Of course, it also has to be Luna, who started getting major Sue in that arc because that's what happens whenever a first caste character gets the spotlight.

Also, Greg (you'll get to him later) is an enabled manchild, demonstrated most clearly in the Snowsong arc where Dom sets it up so he can live out his superhero fantasies. He's pretty good until Snowsong, I guess, but it's still a "not fully fleshed out" thing.

You are just jealous of greg because he is so honest and ugly. And luna sue started getting that way well before maltak. When she got that research gig at momma deegans school, she shows up day one and in 5 seconds solves some problem that was vexing cassafain. Who I THINK was in charge of the research area, but even if she isnt, she still is a senior researcher, and luna the great basically makes her look like a moron.

[Gwyn chan 'r Gwyll]

Did Luna even ever get a magical education? I don't think so...

Talk about nepotism... "Oh, I'm giving my son a teaching job and his girlfriend a research job. What do you mean, parents want me out of the job? How dare they!"

[TheArsenal]

Se actualy retired.

[Nerd-o-rama]

BTW, if Mookie is using D & D as unofficial source, is Mr Deegan a Wizard or a Psion? He seems to behave more like a Wizard, using spells etc, but Seer is school of Psion(-ics) in D & D.

He's a wizard. He explicitly multiclasses to Psion later (anyone remember Klo Tark?), but prior to that he's a Diviner (banned Necromancy) with some really, really over the top spells for psionics-style mental dueling.

EDIT: Speaking of nostalgia, anyone remember when Gregory was an endearing, sympathetic character?

[mwchase]

(anyone remember Klo Tark?)

This is as good a time as any to note again that... wait for it...

...

He can teleport.

(Was so glad in FiM season 2 when Twilight started solving/creating problems with her teleportation again. It really is a versatile and helpful ability, yes? Offensive, defensive, support, ambush, the list goes on.)

[Trazoi]

Us snarkers are always interested in those few who still have not become snarkers, and legitimately enjoy the comic, as we see an earlier version of us in you.
We're sort of like scientists, attempting to chart the journey from innocent fan, to jaded snarker.

I found out about DD here, seeing what the fuss was when the monster thread (#2) was at some ridiculous size. The comic was at the infamous interrogation sequence at Oracle Hunter, so I already had the Lord Dominus vibes. When I read the archives I was surprised at how much I could still care about the characters despite any issue with the comic, at least for the first few years.

Se actualy retired.

In Storm of Souls (I think) some parents started petitioning for Miranda's dismissal due to her failure to protect Quiral from the Infernomancer. But it's okay because official Deegans declared them all crazy morons. (I can't find the link because Storm of Souls is all endless talking heads mixed with liver cell cultures.)

[Turcano]

Hey guys, guess what I found on my way to school yesterday:

[Fawkes]

Toast is secretly The Joker.

Or in my Saints Row the Third character.

Secretly??

[Traab]

Hey guys, guess what I found on my way to school yesterday:

I assume you rammed him till he went off the road right?

[Trazoi]

Secretly??

I didn't check the link, and now I'm scared.