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Thread: LGBTAitP - Part 21: BLACKJACK!
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2012-03-07, 11:53 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Oct 2008
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Re: LGBTAitP - Part 21: BLACKJACK!
I have nothing to report, other than that I am still alive.
Rain, is still being updated.
Got my new Headset finally. First USB one I've had, always had analog before.I am:
Spoiler
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2012-03-08, 12:25 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Dec 2008
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- Yes, that is true
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Re: LGBTAitP - Part 21: BLACKJACK!
... I think I just failed a Spot - OH GOD ASSASSIN NOT IN THE FACE! *judo-glomp*
*Distributes snuggles appropriately*
Hell, even the violence can be fun sometimes - ever see a guy angrily stabbing a dart into a dartboard he can't hit?
But I... And... Lonely...
Sometimes I'm awestruck that I can't bother to make a new avatar. I've had this one for a year now.
Now I just want to change to Inspector Cabanela...
I've been meaning to make a more feminine version (technically not "female version", considering how (as an Elf) she may be one already ), but I keep getting distracted from figuring out Inkscape. :shrug:
Good lord! *Hits ground faster than ground ever has been hit*.
Yes.
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2012-03-08, 12:37 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Oct 2008
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- Xin-Shalast
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2012-03-08, 12:39 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Oct 2008
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- Bottom of a well
Re: LGBTAitP - Part 21: BLACKJACK!
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2012-03-08, 12:43 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Nov 2008
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2012-03-08, 12:44 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Jul 2011
Re: LGBTAitP - Part 21: BLACKJACK!
... I came to appreciate that mountains make poor receptacles for dreams.
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2012-03-08, 01:20 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Dec 2008
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- Yes, that is true
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Re: LGBTAitP - Part 21: BLACKJACK!
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2012-03-08, 01:27 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Dec 2011
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- Leeds
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2012-03-08, 02:57 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Oct 2008
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- Bottom of a well
Re: LGBTAitP - Part 21: BLACKJACK!
So, random question. Are lesbian couples more likely to be open about it than gay couples? I see a lot of openly lesbian couples in my area, but seeing two guys who are obviously into each other is rarer (and thus more of a d'aaw moment for me). By open I mean things like holding hands, flirting, making with the puppy eyes, etc.
Ah, memories. I'd like to see "pretty eyes guy" again.
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2012-03-08, 03:22 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jan 2007
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Re: LGBTAitP - Part 21: BLACKJACK!
...so, I've been a moron.
Playing Hanako's path made me realise something important. Spoiled for spoilers:SpoilerI didn't spot the main issue until it was spelled out right at the end. I didn't realise that Hisao's white knight behaviour was part of the problem, because that's exactly how I would have reacted. Aside from the awkward sex of awkwardness, I would have done pretty much everything he did in that situation.
I have a driving need to help my friends when I see them in pain. But I don't treat them as friends when I do that. I treat them as fragile, delicate creatures that need to be protected. And I can't help but think it stems from a need to be needed in myself. Playing that path reminded me that friendship needs to be a relationship of equals - and that bending down to lift someone out of the dirt is not equality.
This should probably have been in the RWA thread, but frankly, this is my home on Giant a lot more.
Thanks to whoever first linked KS. Without it, it would have taken me a lot longer to come to this realisation, if I ever did.Quotebox
Avatar by Rain Dragon
Wish building characters for D&D 3.5 was simpler? Try HeroForge Anew! An Excel-based, highly automated character builder. v7.4 now out!
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2012-03-08, 03:35 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2008
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- Bottom of a well
Re: LGBTAitP - Part 21: BLACKJACK!
Something I'll say from my experience. You can be the Knight, and still be the Friend. I will admit, I get off on helping people. I've taken beatings for strangers, I always feel like there's something I should do to help my partners, I signed up for a Bone Marrow Donor registry today, etc. etc. You don't have to, and in fact shouldn't stand idly by while friends suffer. If you see a friend's fallen, you can give them a hand up. If you see someone about to beat a friend down, you can take that hit for them. The trick is to, when the crisis is past, make sure that the friend knows how to take care of themselves. Teach them how to pick themselves up next time, teach them how to take the hit. The time after that, let them deal with it on their own, but be there to help if they still REALLY need it (not just because doing what needs to be done is hard, but because they can't). They'll usually learn from the judicious use of example and trial and error, and pretty soon you're there as a mutual failsafe system for each other rather than a mother hen and dependent.
Then, when the next crisis hits, you can both be knights for the victim. And having someone to go kick some backside righteous paladin tag-team style is the bestest thing ever.
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2012-03-08, 03:44 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Feb 2006
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- York, UK
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Re: LGBTAitP - Part 21: BLACKJACK!
Yeah... This...
What is harder is when you build a relationship on this principal... And then you need help yourself...
But it feels so nice being the Level 20 paladin with armour of shining +5!
Ohai... I'm in this thread now... I've never actually posted in it before... I usually just lurk...
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2012-03-08, 04:20 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2009
Re: LGBTAitP - Part 21: BLACKJACK!
"Elephant trunks should be used for elephant things only. Nothing else."
Thank you Geomancer for the Death avatar.
My lets plays:
Alien vs Predator: marine chapter - Completed
Singularity - Canceled
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2012-03-08, 06:49 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Jul 2010
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- Dublin, Ireland
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Re: LGBTAitP - Part 21: BLACKJACK!
Usually it's more generalisations than jokes. Like "Gamer girls are no good at X". And I'm like "I'm right here!"
How about: You can think what you like, although we encourage you to reflect on your own privileges, but your rights end where the next person's begin. Everyone's welcome and you have to at least try to be polite.
Yes. I'm reasonably sure this one happens less often.
Very good points. And applicable to a lot of theoretically-welcoming groups and how they behave towards a lot of people.
You know, I'm thinking you preempt any actual engagement with feminists by being needlessly aggressive so then they don't like you and you can feel satisfied that "feminists are angry and irrational". Because would it really have been so hard to say "Is it documented that women are told to smile by strangers more often than average/other disadvantaged groups?", rather than assuming if you did, I or another feminist would get cross with you.
And you know what? Even if it "just" happens to girly women, "twinky" gay people, children and other disadvantaged people, and it doesn't happen to "tough" women, that is still a feminist issue! Clearly it happens to plenty of women. Street harassment is well documented, if you need more than the tidal wave of women's stories about it, and being told to do something by a stranger is street harassment.
Oh weird! I thought it was a myth that people called it "St Patty's Day". Isn't Patty the female version? Do you call Irish people Pattys instead of Paddys?
Also, f**king depressed as hell that people would warn other people to be careful around the drunk Irish. Don't know what your Catholics are like, but Ireland is more culturally Catholic than religiously so these days.
You know (a) I'm right here! I'm not being all "Americans ... want to watch out. I like to keep an American flag and a gun handy as bait to distract them!" And (b) Jack Daniels? Really? Again, maybe the American-Irish are different, but in my hierarchy of whiskey, Jack comes somewhere below "Never mind then, I'll just have a healthy glass of water."
Cheerfairy, Kenderwoman and Geologist by Succubus, Feminist Geomancer by Astrella, Kender Wizard by me
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2012-03-08, 06:53 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jan 2011
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- A land down under.
Re: LGBTAitP - Part 21: BLACKJACK!
Hi again everyone. Since our last conversation I've tried to act on the advice people here have selfelssly given. And it's worked, somewhat.
Yah know, trigger warning for strong bigotry. Don't say I didn't warn you.
Spoiler
Family problems have stayed the same. Nothing new here. Same with pyschological problems, though that belongs in a different thread.
I've tried to be open to my best friend about my asexuality (naturally ending up public knowledge in my community because that's just the way my friends keep secrets), and now he has decided that I'm some peculiar specimine that requires further questioning. Quite a lot of it, and mostly it's just him trying to trip me up, although some others are things like "Yes, but you're asexual. You're just as ****** up as the rest of them [by that he means non-heteronormative people].". Which brings me to my next point.
That same friend and a few others I have, however, is extremely openly bigoted (I only really found out in the last week when he decided that I share his hatred because of my asexuality *logicfail* .
I'm asking for how I can convince them to either stop being so bigoted or at the very least stop being so offensive about it. I'm quite honestly thinking about just leaving our friendship behind. Bigotry of any form really, really annoys me.Last edited by Lither; 2012-03-08 at 07:13 AM.
Thanks to Terry576 for the avatar !
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2012-03-08, 07:12 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Feb 2006
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- York, UK
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Re: LGBTAitP - Part 21: BLACKJACK!
There's an immediate "OMG Shock" thing that goes on... Once something has been explained to someone in its most basic form, then either one of two things generally happens... they're a bit stupid and ask stupid questions, in which case they're genuinely trying and just need to be told that you're not a test subject... That kind of friendship can be worth keeping depending on the person... keeping friends that are determined to be bigoted however is just detremental to your health...
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2012-03-08, 07:16 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Jan 2011
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- A land down under.
Re: LGBTAitP - Part 21: BLACKJACK!
It's been several weeks and they continue. It's not just directed at me, but at everyone else who doesn't fit their standard of "normal". I have this terrible feeling that I managed to bring it out into the open.
I will try to act on your advice, though. They've been friends for a long time and I really don't want to lose them at this moment.Thanks to Terry576 for the avatar !
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2012-03-08, 07:22 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Feb 2006
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- York, UK
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Re: LGBTAitP - Part 21: BLACKJACK!
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2012-03-08, 08:00 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Apr 2011
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2012-03-08, 08:25 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Mar 2011
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Re: LGBTAitP - Part 21: BLACKJACK!
In high school I saw more out lesbians, and lesbian couples openly dating. I think I knew of one gay guy who was out, in a school of three thousand.
That poem was pretty.
Spoilers in case I spoil something while I ramble.
SpoilerI felt that was an issue for a large part of the path. Personally I would have handled things differently from how Hisao did. When I try to help my friends in a belittling way, I also try to make a joke out of it to try to show that I don't really think they're helpless and that I'm just trying to be nice. In Hanako's case, I would probably have been careful around her at first just because I didn't know her well. But one of my main issues with that route was that they didn't talk. Communication is kind of a big deal. Like they did at the end. Just earlier. Hisao should have talked to her about his concerns and whatnot. Also when the sex scene came up I was like "wut". I think I was thinking something more coherent a minute ago but I'm not sure if I said it.
I'm not quite awake enough to have a proper response.
So, I'm sorry you're going through this rough time, and *hugs*Jude P.
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2012-03-08, 08:40 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2006
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- Leeds, UK
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Re: LGBTAitP - Part 21: BLACKJACK!
I see more gay guys than lesbians. Then again, I hang around with guys more than girls. I think it's about equal.
At secondary school, the only people who were out were gay, until sixth form when two girls who'd left started dating. *shrugs*
Depends on the area, I guess."I'm just going on motive and opportunity here and the fact that if the earth got swallowed by a black hole, I'd look suspiciously in your direction first."
~ Timberwolf
"I blame Castaras. You know... In general."
~ KuReshtin
"Castaras - An absolutely adorable facade that hides a truly ruthless streak."
~ The Succubus
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2012-03-08, 09:30 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Mar 2009
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- Gothenburg, Sweden
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Re: LGBTAitP - Part 21: BLACKJACK!
This is a really, really difficult problem, because "you can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into." You have to make a choice, and it will be tough. It's certainly possible to grit your teeth when you're around them. Or you could say something like "Look, I don't like your opinions. Please shut up about them around me." Or you could cut the friendship. It depends a lot on how much you value them as friends, and how much cognitive dissonance you have to suffer through when listening to them.
Avatar by CoffeeIncluded
Oooh, and that's a bad miss.
“Don't exercise your freedom of speech until you have exercised your freedom of thought.”
― Tim Fargo
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2012-03-08, 10:00 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jan 2011
- Location
- A land down under.
Re: LGBTAitP - Part 21: BLACKJACK!
But still... they've been my friends for years. It's hard to just hate them after that.
*is hugged*
I don't want to leave them as friends, but it's becoming increasingly clear that I may have to with my current... state. I'll try the "shut up about it when I'm around" approach though.Thanks to Terry576 for the avatar !
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2012-03-08, 10:11 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Jan 2007
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Re: LGBTAitP - Part 21: BLACKJACK!
On my way on to campus, I just passed a group of chavs. There was giggling, and as I walked past, I was hailed with "'scuse me, are you a boy or a girl?"
It made me happyQuotebox
Avatar by Rain Dragon
Wish building characters for D&D 3.5 was simpler? Try HeroForge Anew! An Excel-based, highly automated character builder. v7.4 now out!
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2012-03-08, 10:26 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Feb 2006
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- Under a 1st Ed AD&D DMG
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2012-03-08, 10:31 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Sep 2008
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- UK
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2012-03-08, 10:38 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Feb 2006
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- York, UK
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Re: LGBTAitP - Part 21: BLACKJACK!
I know... I am being a little harsh, but I know the effect that having people like that around has on someone. You've got to know that you don't have to put up with that crap. And they've got to know that you won't put up with that crap too.
I won't stop you, it is hard to just turn your back on people you thought were friends, but I will say that in my experiance, that way madness and darkness lie...
Be well and be strong... and have a hug (if you like that sort of thing)
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2012-03-08, 10:42 AM (ISO 8601)
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- May 2007
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- The Icy North
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Spoiler
Challenge badge, courtesy of HeadlessMermaid.
Avatar courtesy of the talented Neoriceisgood. Features Pumpkin from my webcomic.
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2012-03-08, 11:17 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Jan 2007
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Re: LGBTAitP - Part 21: BLACKJACK!
Quotebox
Avatar by Rain Dragon
Wish building characters for D&D 3.5 was simpler? Try HeroForge Anew! An Excel-based, highly automated character builder. v7.4 now out!
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2012-03-08, 11:29 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Aug 2006
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- Leeds, UK
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Re: LGBTAitP - Part 21: BLACKJACK!
UK people, here's a thingy for signing that's LGBT relevant..
Marriage no matter what gender the people may identify as = yes yes yes, aye?"I'm just going on motive and opportunity here and the fact that if the earth got swallowed by a black hole, I'd look suspiciously in your direction first."
~ Timberwolf
"I blame Castaras. You know... In general."
~ KuReshtin
"Castaras - An absolutely adorable facade that hides a truly ruthless streak."
~ The Succubus