LGBTAitP 26: No Time For Snappy Titles

[Asta Kask]

*writes on a piece of paper*

[The Succubus]

I think I've discovered a term for Lixie's....problem. "Spontaneous Com-blush-tion".

[Lix Lorn]

I think I've discovered a term for Lixie's....problem. "Spontaneous Com-blush-tion".

oh god that's terrible xD

[Irish Musician]

Dammit, how do I outdo compliments that somehow turn me to butter!? DXD

~Bianca

Oh, don't worry.......You will get yours soon enough as well

(hands over ears!)

Two words....Sign Language

[Lix Lorn]

I don't speak sign

[Irish Musician]

I don't speak sign

That's ok....I'll just write everything down, I know you can read because you are reading the thread

[Lix Lorn]

I don't have to read :P

[Ichneumon]

Something weird just happened.

For a very long time I've been having difficulty buying the right jeans, since I'm quite skinny and have rather long legs, meaning most of my jeans are too short. We were watching television just now and he suddenly said, out of the blue: "Maybe you should try buying women's jeans. Maybe they'd fit you better." He wasn't joking and seemed serious. I wasn't sure what was going on, so I didn't say anything and he just looked at me for a few seconds, not explaining himself and then adding "I just saw those women on television, and thought you might want to wear those jeans". It was a really weird situation and really something I wouldn't think he'd say normally. I might have been imagining things, but it felt like he was trying to say something. When I wanted to continue the conversation a few moments later, he seemed completely disinterested in it though.

Am I being paranoid to now suspect my father would be on to me?

[Asta Kask]

If he's on to you, it doesn't seem to be in a bad way. We really need more information about your Dad to decide.

Edit: re Lix - it seems we'll have to bring out the big guns. *shouts* Celtic - wanna make out in front of Lixie?

[Irish Musician]

Something weird just happened.

For a very long time I've been having difficulty buying the right jeans, since I'm quite skinny and have rather long legs, meaning most of my jeans are too short. We were watching television just now and he suddenly said, out of the blue: "Maybe you should try buying women's jeans. Maybe they'd fit you better." He wasn't joking and seemed serious. I wasn't sure what was going on, so I didn't say anything and he just looked at me for a few seconds, not explaining himself and then adding "I just saw those women on television, and thought you might want to wear those jeans". It was a really weird situation and really something I wouldn't think he'd say normally. I might have been imagining things, but it felt like he was trying to say something. When I wanted to continue the conversation a few moments later, he seemed completely disinterested in it though.

Am I being paranoid to now suspect my father would be on to me?

I have to agree with Asta, need more info. However, if he is on to you, form the sounds of it, it does not sound like a bad thing.

Edit: re Lix - it seems we'll have to bring out the big guns. *shouts* Celtic - wanna make out in front of Lixie?

Shoot. Why not? I may be staight, but it ain't the first time I would have kissed a guy......I am in theater after all

[Asta Kask]

Well, I'm straight too, if that's any consolation...

[Lix Lorn]

If he's on to you, it doesn't seem to be in a bad way. We really need more information about your Dad to decide.

Edit: re Lix - it seems we'll have to bring out the big guns. *shouts* Celtic - wanna make out in front of Lixie?

Shoot. Why not? I may be staight, but it ain't the first time I would have kissed a guy......I am in theater after all

Nice, but not blush-inducing. xD
(is not (much of) a yao fangirl)

[Irish Musician]

Nice, but not blush-inducing. xD
(is not (much of) a yao fangirl)

So only if we made out with your perfect, gorgeous lips? Would that be blush inducing?

[SiuiS]

wait what


(HIDES)

Oh goodness you've got a standardized graphic for it. XD

Something weird just happened.

For a very long time I've been having difficulty buying the right jeans, since I'm quite skinny and have rather long legs, meaning most of my jeans are too short. We were watching television just now and he suddenly said, out of the blue: "Maybe you should try buying women's jeans. Maybe they'd fit you better." He wasn't joking and seemed serious. I wasn't sure what was going on, so I didn't say anything and he just looked at me for a few seconds, not explaining himself and then adding "I just saw those women on television, and thought you might want to wear those jeans". It was a really weird situation and really something I wouldn't think he'd say normally. I might have been imagining things, but it felt like he was trying to say something. When I wanted to continue the conversation a few moments later, he seemed completely disinterested in it though.

Am I being paranoid to now suspect my father would be on to me?

I would say do not worry about him being on to you.

Jeans are perfectly neutral in most regards, and ladies jeans are just a different size an cut, unless you're getting the but sculpting lowcut leg toning jeans. It sounds like a win-win, as either he might know, since he knows you more intimately than I do, and he may have picked up subtle clues. If so then maybe he's trying to bridge a gap. If not, then it's a perfect opening to work in the conversation, and a subtle clue that can segue you in.

I would sy be careful an have some explanations ready though, as the worst casescenario I can think of is his thinking that telling you to buy girl's clothes turned you into a transsexual or something. You may want benchmarks from your personal history in mind Si you can prove this is a preexisting condition.

Best of luck, luv.

If he's on to you, it doesn't seem to be in a bad way. We really need more information about your Dad to decide.

Edit: re Lix - it seems we'll have to bring out the big guns. *shouts* Celtic - wanna make out in front of Lixie?

guys, no, come on
If she redshifts any more she will be frozen in time

[Mystic Muse]

If she redshifts any more she will be frozen in time

I was frozen today!

[Absol197]

*So many hugs!* :<


~Bianca

Thanks. I still don't feel too great, but at least I'm feeling better. Wow. That was extremely sucky.

Spoiler

Show

I've never felt that horribly bad. When I was trying to go to sleep last night, I felt like I wanted to go back to before: back to my old, cruddy job, back to not knowing, like somehow living with the constant disappointment would be better than facing my fears and myself and reaching for what I want. It went so far that I was seriously considering quitting my new job and trying to get my old one back. I don't know what my plan was to make myself forget, especially because I've already told two of my friends, and they wouldn't exactly drop it that easily.

Luckily, I snapped out of that before I did anything stupid.

On a related note, is there anyone who might be willing to help me draft an "exploratory" e-mail to some local gender therapists (in PM, of course)? Stuff like this can't go on, and although talking to all the great people here is helpful, I haven't done any actual, you know, talking. I've assembled a list of local specialists, but I'm both paralyzed with fear, and without any idea of what to say to indroduce myself*. I keep telling myself that I'll do it some time later - the big one right now is, "when I move out." But that's at least six months away, and I don't think I can wait that long...

*This is the biggest reason why I'm asking, by the way.

I've thought about this and don't really know. My mother is now going away for 2 days, meaning it will be me and my dad alone all day at home, so this would be ideal time to talk to him, but I feel I haven't prepared it enough to do it now, but I'm not sure if I'll get a better opportunity soon.

First I had planned on maybe slowly touching the subject of being trans today and maybe do the full talk next week somewhere, but I'm afraid I might start crying and not be able to have the talk, without having the talk. So that might be the wrong approach.

I'm honestly not sure how to do it. I could try writing a letter, but I think I'd prefer talking to them, but writing the letter could be a good preparation anyway.

Something weird just happened.

For a very long time I've been having difficulty buying the right jeans, since I'm quite skinny and have rather long legs, meaning most of my jeans are too short. We were watching television just now and he suddenly said, out of the blue: "Maybe you should try buying women's jeans. Maybe they'd fit you better." He wasn't joking and seemed serious. I wasn't sure what was going on, so I didn't say anything and he just looked at me for a few seconds, not explaining himself and then adding "I just saw those women on television, and thought you might want to wear those jeans". It was a really weird situation and really something I wouldn't think he'd say normally. I might have been imagining things, but it felt like he was trying to say something. When I wanted to continue the conversation a few moments later, he seemed completely disinterested in it though.

Am I being paranoid to now suspect my father would be on to me?

I think this is a golden opportunity for you to talk to your dad. If you're ready for you parents to know, then now is the time. Some options:

You've already said you don't want to write a letter or e-mail, which is fine. But like you were thinking, writing down everything you want to say beforehand would be a good way to organize your thoughts. You could use it as a script of sorts, or, if as you fear you start crying and are unable to continue, you could give it to your dad so that the message still gets across.

As someone else suggested, just getting into it when you're both together is a good idea. However, I'd suggest dinner instead of breakfast, when it's less likely that either of you will have anywhere to go soon, so you can take your time and talk, and so that he has a chance to sleep on it before interacting with other people again .

Another thing you can do, if just blurting it out doesn't quite work, is to have him trap you. Tell him something like, "I have something very important to tell you. Don't let me leave until I've told you." Or you could do a mixture - leave him a note that says the same thing, and set a time when you'll sit down to talk, and he can't let you leave.

Hopefully, everything will go well. And, if it does, then you can talk to him about your fears about telling your mom, and see if he has any good ideas on how to approach her. The Succubus gave some pretty good advice a while ago, which I will dutifully parrot back: don't make it about sides. Ask you dad for help telling her, but don't make it "us vs. her." That's a great way to cause antagonism.

About the jeans thing. It doesn't sound all that much like he's on to you (see noparlpf, re: men and being blunt), but if he is, that'll make things even easier. And if he isn't, that gives you a great joke to lighten the mood when you finally tell him!

I look up the average height (68") and Standard Deviation (2.5") of women in the U.S. 68 inches according to the HANES study and the. So, 2 Standard Deviations is 73 inches, 2.5% of the individuals would be above that. There are 300 million Americans, which gives us 150 million women. 2.5% of 150 million is 3 750 000. Rare, but not exceedingly rare.

Woah, cool! That's a reassuring statistic! Thanks!

--?

[Lix Lorn]

So only if we made out with your perfect, gorgeous lips? Would that be blush inducing?

...t=yes. .//////////.

Oh goodness you've got a standardized graphic for it. XD

Not only do I have a graphic, I homebrewed an exalted charm mostly so that was possible.

[PairO'Dice Lost]

On a related note, is there anyone who might be willing to help me draft an "exploratory" e-mail to some local gender therapists (in PM, of course)?

If you or anyone else wants help drafting letters or putting thoughts onto paper (that goes for you too, Ichneumon), my PM box is open.

[Selpharia]

On a related related note, would anyone with experience with such therapists mind explaining the general process for going to see one? Do I need a referral of some kind, or can I just schedule an appointment with the relevant office, and does the process vary by state?(US)? Is there anything else I should know for looking for a therapist and going to see one for the first time? PM is fine, if it would disrupt the thread too much, I just have no idea what I'm doing.

[Absol197]

On a related related note, would anyone with experience with such therapists mind explaining the general process for going to see one? Do I need a referral of some kind, or can I just schedule an appointment with the relevant office, and does the process vary by state?(US)? Is there anything else I should know for looking for a therapist and going to see one for the first time? PM is fine, if it would disrupt the thread too much, I just have no idea what I'm doing.

Actually, I could probably use answers to many of these questions, too. See the bolded portion for why. I had assumed that you just got in touch and set up an intial appointment, like with any other psychiatric specialist, but I could very well be way off the mark. Once again, bolded portion.

[blackfox]

I look up the average height (68")

Wut, that seems SUPER tall. I thought the average woman in the US was around 5'4", or 64 inches. Stdev seems right though, maybe a bit on the low side--3" or so, perhaps? This is just guesstimation from looking at my friend group. I definitely disagree with the average height though.
(This would put a woman at 6'1" in the 99th percentile of height, and a woman at 6'4" in the 99.9th percentile of height, as opposed to 95th and 99th respectively with a 5'8" average height.)
I can also say that I personally know several cis women who are over 5'10" (average American man height), mostly because their parents were also super tall. 6'1" is tall for a human, to be perfectly honest.

[Asta Kask]

Wut, that seems SUPER tall. I thought the average woman in the US was around 5'4", or 64 inches. Stdev seems right though, maybe a bit on the low side--3" or so, perhaps? This is just guesstimation from looking at my friend group. I definitely disagree with the average height though.
(This would put a woman at 6'1" in the 99th percentile of height, and a woman at 6'4" in the 99.9th percentile of height, as opposed to 95th and 99th respectively with a 5'8" average height.)
I can also say that I personally know several cis women who are over 5'10" (average American man height), mostly because their parents were also super tall. 6'1" is tall for a human, to be perfectly honest.

You're right, it does seem high. I'll look into it.

[Logic]

Wut, that seems SUPER tall. I thought the average woman in the US was around 5'4", or 64 inches. Stdev seems right though, maybe a bit on the low side--3" or so, perhaps? This is just guesstimation from looking at my friend group. I definitely disagree with the average height though.
(This would put a woman at 6'1" in the 99th percentile of height, and a woman at 6'4" in the 99.9th percentile of height, as opposed to 95th and 99th respectively with a 5'8" average height.)
I can also say that I personally know several cis women who are over 5'10" (average American man height), mostly because their parents were also super tall. 6'1" is tall for a human, to be perfectly honest.

The last study I saw (some time ago, so I have no evidence of what I am saying) claimed the average American man was 5' 10" and the average American woman was 5' 7".

My fiance (a 6' 1" woman) regularly complains that ideal height/weight charts stop at 5' 11" for females, and that it is nearly impossible to find clothes that fit properly. Because she happens to be in the 99th percentile, dresses often come up short. VERY SHORT. I have no problem with this, but I see where her frustration lies.


EDIT: This link agrees with my male numbers, not so much with my female numbers...

[blackfox]

The last study I saw (some time ago, so I have no evidence of what I am saying) claimed the average American man was 5' 10" and the average American woman was 5' 7".

My fiance (a 6' 1" woman) regularly complains that ideal height/weight charts stop at 5' 11" for females, and that it is nearly impossible to find clothes that fit properly. Because she happens to be in the 99th percentile, dresses often come up short. VERY SHORT. I have no problem with this, but I see where her frustration lies.


EDIT: This link agrees with my male numbers, not so much with my female numbers...

I'm going with the Wikipedia numbers on average height, which are from a 2008 CDC health statistics survey.

The stdev is an estimation.

Ooh, reading further, the same study lists the stdev for women's height as 1.8 inches, and for men's at about 2.1 inches. This puts the 95th percentile for height at 68 inches, and the 99th at 70, though, which seems strange. Maybe I just know a lot of tall people

Edit: WAIT NO I'M DUMB AND CAN'T READ, it's 2.2 for women and 2.5 for men.

[turkishproverb]

I was frozen today!

Oh no. That's all wrong. Don't you know what the pure essence of comedy is?

[Mystic Muse]

Oh no. That's all wrong. Don't you know what the pure essence of comedy is?

Nope.

*Hugs for anybody that needs them.*

[KenderWizard]

Judging from the responses over at SGU, many of them do. And I think KenderWizard has said that one of her fondest dreams was seeing Thor and Loki (from the movie) making out.

Oh hi! Man I love Thorki.

EDIT: I got hit by depression really hard this afternoon. I was thinking about how much I've lost out on by spending so many years hiding and wishing. I hate being scared - scared of what other people might think, scared of what my family and friends might think, scared of myself and expressing myself...I've wasted my whole life being scared and dreaming about being someone, something else, but it's the only thing I know anymore.

And I still can't cry about it!

I can't really help you, but you know, it's never too late. To be yourself and to find your path.

Okay so why do I have to be stuck with the personality I have? I'm bisexual, and quite interested in sex, but have a mini panic attack and can't do anything about it when someone else is in the room with me. I'm a hardcore pacifist, but my emotional response to suffering pain and violence can best be summed up as "manic relieved laughter catharsis."

*hugs* Do your people go in for therapy?

[turkishproverb]

Nope.

*Hugs for anybody that needs them.*

*hugs for those people as well*
Don't you know what the pure essence of comedy is?

[noparlpf]

Something weird just happened.

For a very long time I've been having difficulty buying the right jeans, since I'm quite skinny and have rather long legs, meaning most of my jeans are too short. We were watching television just now and he suddenly said, out of the blue: "Maybe you should try buying women's jeans. Maybe they'd fit you better." He wasn't joking and seemed serious. I wasn't sure what was going on, so I didn't say anything and he just looked at me for a few seconds, not explaining himself and then adding "I just saw those women on television, and thought you might want to wear those jeans". It was a really weird situation and really something I wouldn't think he'd say normally. I might have been imagining things, but it felt like he was trying to say something. When I wanted to continue the conversation a few moments later, he seemed completely disinterested in it though.

Am I being paranoid to now suspect my father would be on to me?

Still think you should just go for it. That was the perfect opportunity.

[golentan]

*hugs* Do your people go in for therapy?

I do go in for therapy, yes. And I have many loving people in my life willing to chat or give me hugs. But there are some internal conflicts I don't really want to talk about.