Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

[Ksheep]

****There are no sonic screwdrivers. Stop asking for one.

***** The same goes for light sabers, vibroswords, crysknifes, ohmu shell knifes, masamune swords, key tools, claw shots, Holy Hand Grenades of Antioch, batarangs, identity discs, Pokeballs, and fing-longers.

[unseenmage]

I'm no longer allowed to mimic the party's class abilities with the use rope skill
*No longer allowed to purchase, buy, craft, borrow, summon, or wish for rope
**No longer allowed to (in or out of character) advise other players about rope use
***No out of game advice either
****And certainly no rope use advice for other games my GM might be involved in
*****DEFINITELY not for storyteller systems.

*chain counts as rope for all of the above as do vines, licorice, string, and horsehair

[Wookieetank]

I'm no longer allowed to mimic the party's class abilities with the use rope skill
*No longer allowed to purchase, buy, craft, borrow, summon, or wish for rope
**No longer allowed to (in or out of character) advise other players about rope use
***No out of game advice either
****And certainly no rope use advice for other games my GM might be involved in
*****DEFINITELY not for storyteller systems.

*chain counts as rope for all of the above as do vines, licorice, string, and horsehair

*Shoelaces and bedsheets are acceptable though.

[Cealocanth]

*I am no longer allowed to ask the old farmer what breed his sheep are, and then ask the DM to describe the garment made from the sheep's wool, only to tell him that the garment would not have come from this farmer, and use this information to blackmail the farmer into revealing where he's outsourcing his textile productions.

Really, this happened.

[nedz]

****There are no sonic screwdrivers. Stop asking for one.

Prestidigitation is a thing however.

[Man on Fire]

* Just because horse is in your equipment list it doesn't mean you can pull it out of your bag and throw at somebody.

[Slipperychicken]

*I am no longer allowed to ask the old farmer what breed his sheep are, and then ask the DM to describe the garment made from the sheep's wool, only to tell him that the garment would not have come from this farmer, and use this information to blackmail the farmer into revealing where he's outsourcing his textile productions.

Really, this happened.

You're an awful person. All the things a DM has to prepare for, and you're abusing the fact he doesn't know sheep-breeding. I guess that would be common knowledge in some rural farming community, but otherwise it's pretty unreasonable to expect someone to know that off the top of his head.


The DM however, should have just said something like "Look, I'm busy. I don't have time to research crap like sheep-breeding when I already need to put a dungeon together, write a story, descriptions, dialogue, and build balanced, fun encounters every week, in addition to researching topics which are actually relevant. The clothes match what you would expect from the sheeps' breed, diet, conditions, and other observable factors. They clearly came from this farm's sheep."

EDIT: Removed unintentional pseudoracism.

[Zahhak]

You're an awful person. All the things a DM has to prepare for, and you're abusing the fact he doesn't know sheep-breeding. I guess that would be common knowledge in rural New Zealand, but otherwise it's pretty unreasonable to expect someone to know that off the top of his head

To add to the pseudoracism, you forgot Wales and Scotland.

[Jbr208]

* When playing Deadlands, racism cannot be the most memorable feature of my character.
** It doesn't matter if I become the benefactor of the orphanage, adopt a child, and court the school teacher/matron, the common use of racial epithets and the fact that he is a former Confederate cavalryman will override all the good the character has done.
*** It doesn't matter that the campaign takes place in an era where racism was not only common but both expected and accepted by society at large.

[TechnoScrabble]

*Not allowed to play wizard, bard, artificier, anyone with charisma over twelve, or anyone focused on crafting any more.

*I am to stay away from all vodka relayed beverages when making a character.

[Ionbound]

*I am not allowed to convince the DM to let me take 10 on a saving throw
**I am not allowed to then take 10 vs lycanthropy if my Fort is less than 5
***I am banned from research a spell to allow me to transmit lycanthropy to my other party members both IC and OOC
****I am banned from spell research
*****I must play non-casting classes

[Kelb_Panthera]

I'm no longer allowed to mimic the party's class abilities with the use rope skill
*No longer allowed to purchase, buy, craft, borrow, summon, or wish for rope
**No longer allowed to (in or out of character) advise other players about rope use
***No out of game advice either
****And certainly no rope use advice for other games my GM might be involved in
*****DEFINITELY not for storyteller systems.

*chain counts as rope for all of the above as do vines, licorice, string, and horsehair

advising players on some of the more exotic OOC uses for rope (wink, nudge) is right out.

[Wookieetank]

advising players on some of the more exotic OOC uses for rope (wink, nudge) is right out.

*Demonstrating said uses is strictly forbidden.

[Scow2]

*Demonstrating said uses is strictly forbidden.

*No substituting Barbed Wire for the rope instead.

[Man on Fire]

New game happened

* If trying to complain that when DM npced your character and made it burn down an inn on the grounds your character would never have done that earns you depadan silence from everybody on th table, you should probably rethink few things.

* Enlarge Person was casted on your for many reasons. Peeing on the lich is not one of them.

* Leader of dark and powerful group of horrifying otherworldy beings do not want to hear about that time you pulled a horse out of your backpack.

[Slipperychicken]

[Actually happened]

*I may not name my character Smartacus.
**Even if the DM came up with the idea.
***Even if I rolled 18s in strength and intelligence (with down-the-line 3d6, no less!)

[Asahel24601]

*I may not fall in love with other party members
**especially not the LG cleric
***even if he saved my life
***especially when said cleric is sworn to never marry.

[Sith_Happens]

*I may not fall in love with other party members
**especially not the LG cleric
***even if he saved my life
***especially when said cleric is sworn to never marry.

**** "Who says we have to?" is not the correct response to being told the above.

[Vixsor Lumin]

*basing a drug dealing Dread necro on the song "and the snakes start to sing" makes the party uncomfortable.
** the same goes for "raining blood"
*** anything by Ludo is also banned.
****Disco based characters are okay for one shot goofy games, not something the DM has been working on for months
*5 Scouts wearing one sequened glove of dexterity do not have to moonwalk to activate skirmish

*I must hand over my phone, ipod, radio, and or computer during character creation

[Ionbound]

*basing a drug dealing Dread necro on the song "and the snakes start to sing" makes the party uncomfortable.
** the same goes for "raining blood"
*** anything by Ludo is also banned.
****Disco based characters are okay for one shot goofy games, not something the DM has been working on for months
*5 Scouts wearing one sequened glove of dexterity do not have to moonwalk to activate skirmish

*I must hand over my phone, ipod, radio, and or computer during character creation

**Tablets are right out

[Joe the Rat]

(From last night)

* I may not recommend naming characters after OoTS characters.
** Particularly when the other players don't know the comic.
*** Especially when the GM doesn't know the comic.

(Therkla the Half-Orc Ranger (and her player) ARE pretty awesome, though)

[Zahhak]

*** anything by Ludo is also banned.

Wow, going old school are we?

[RandomNPC]

I shall not put the idea in the DMs head to take a red dragon and apply the half dragon template with another color.

The party was not happy with the fight, and I was sitting there giggling away the entire time I was being beaten into the negatives.... But I got to make so many jokes about him being a dragon and a half. The best highlight was that our caster couldn't reliably deal with the SR so she ran off invisible and put explosive runes in the book he was reading when we got there. He admitted defeat and that we would get the aid we wanted, then he went back to reading the journal he stole from an elder green...

[jindra34]

I shall not put the idea in the DMs head to take a red dragon and apply the half dragon template with another color.

**I am also not allowed, should the DM ever make a half-dragon dragon, to ask why they only applied it once, and not once for each potential color/type.

[Grommen]

From a recent campaign I played and DM'ed a bit of.

*When DM'ing, Chain Mail of Disappearance should also make the player vanish...Not just the armor, when confronted by the city guard.

**Smoking Jackets should not simply burst into flame at inappropriate times. Ok at any time.....Perhaps at Lunch.

***Handing the person next to you the powder horn that was just set on fire and saying "Here hold this", is to be considered bad form.

****Black Powder + pyro mage = Bad

*****I will no loner encourage the party's cleric (and master of the grapple) to try and tackle the Dragon at the end of the campaign in the last battle.

******No matter how good the discount, never buy anything from a shop named, "Shifty guys in hoods".

*******Bags of Holding should release the things placed inside them. Not just simply hold on to them.

********Will never again point out to the insane ranger that the parties bard has both a deck of illusions and a deck of many things.

*********A deck of many illusionary things is not to be used for card games.

[Vixsor Lumin]

Wow, going old school are we?

They're not that old are they? I was in high school when love me dead came out. ... five years ago. .... I feel old now

[Sgt. Cookie]

*"I insult the Sith Lord's dress sense" is not an acceptable way to start the fight
**Even if the GM's rolls indicate that he takes a morale penalty to all combat actions

[Socratov]

*A bardx npc shall not overshadow the party to such an extent that the party suspects the bard of being able to complete the quest alone

[OctoberRaven]

SWD20:
-When someone suggests that we "knock on the door", I may NOT fire a proton torpedo at it.
-Unless I am absolutely sure the Jedi do not have an escape plan, I may not blast a Hutt's brains out at point blank range while on Nal Hutta.

Champions:
-I may not use a handheld rocket launcher to make an entrance.
-If I'm playing a teleporter, I may not teleport into the police station, even if I'm in a hurry. I'll use the door.
-I may not call a demon the "Prince of Wusses".

WoD:
-I may NOT throw a stake in the air out of frustration.

D&D:
-I may not attempt to destroy a summoning altar by burning down the warehouse that contains it, unless I am ABSOLUTELY SURE that it won't lead to an inferno that inexplicably levels half the town overnight.

Shadowrun:
-If there are more than four fully armored men coming my way, and I am the only one between them and our escortee, I may not NOT use my grenades, no matter what the Hacker says.

L5R:
-I may not try to get out of matchmaking parties by suggesting to another PC that we pretend to be betrothed.
-I may not try to tell the Kuni Witch Hunter to Jade Strike the courtier. I'll ask the other shugenja to do it instead because he's actually clever enough to try.

[smasher0404]

*One does not use software that he has never used before during the game
*One does not try to walk through walls while corporeal