Cattle Driving Necromancers-Bizarre Campaign Journal

[halfeye]

This thread was in the bottom half of the front page again.

[Kaveman26]

Little Masoleum on the Prairie:

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Upon entry to the undead biosphere, they immediately test the ability for everyone to leave. Something they are able to do so without hindrance. The second immediate action they take is to transform themselves into undead wranglers. Intelligent undead are approached and basically provided an ultimatum: Do what we are asking (which at this time will cause no physical harm or negative effect) or we will subjugate and force you to do what we ask.

Their initial requests are nothing too far fetched, they start taking a census of the cemetary’s occupants and begin sorting them out into separate groups. Ghouls are shuffled in one direction, ghasts a second, zombies are herded up, as are skeletons. Slightly scarier undead like Wights and Spectres are approached with far more care and consideration, but they too are organized and sorted out.

As they sift through the graveyard’s inhabitants they strike up some surprisingly meaningful and insightful conversation. Asking questions like:

Are you happy?
Are you hungry?
Is there anything in particular you would like to have happen?
Why is there is no conflict?
How did you get here?

Random Ghoul: We used to have a lot of fighting, jockeying for position or control. Sometimes just lashing out from hunger or frustration. Eventually it became apparent that there was no point. Anyone destroyed was simply replaced. Sometimes one of us grows weary of the eternal boredom and those who seek an end walk to the center of the graveyard, there sits a tombstone named Lilly Matches. If we see someone sitting on the Matches Tombstone we know it means they wish to be eliminated.

Seraphim: Nothing interesting happens?

Random Ghoul: Not for a very long time. Today something interesting happened, Food walked in that we can eat. Haven’t had any of that in ages.

Hades: We are hardly food. Even if you think we are, no one has made a move against us.

Random Ghoul: We can’t.

Pluto: Why not?

Random Ghoul: Because with you here, it is possible some of us may leave. Even now we commune and debate what to do. Right now we are agreed that no action should yet be taken against you.

Ares: You can all communicate with each other?

Random Ghoul: Yes, after a few hundred (or thousand…there is nothing to really indicate passage of time) years together we have become very familiar with each other. We share our thoughts freely.

Seraphim: So food and freedom are good things?

Random Ghoul: When your whole existence amounts to nothing….ANYTHING is a good thing.

Ares: Ok, million dollar question. Is there a leader? Someone with a final vote?

In unison every single undead present speaks a name like the caress of a whisper touched by wind, amplified by a thousand voices all in harmony.

…The Sleeper.

Every undead turns and as one they point to the dead center of the graveyard converging their gaze upon the Matches Tombstone.

Random Ghoul: The Sleeper beckons. Go to it. Upon the headstone knock three times. A path will open.
With a certain trepidation the group cautiously advances to the marked grave and follows their instructions. The stillness of the undead all focused on the grave is making their skin crawl and as Ares knocks the third time a groaning shift of dirt sees a crypt appear, with ancient steps descending below the earth.

Ares takes the lead with the twins on his heels, Azzie and Seraphim in the middle and Doc at their rear. Their undead entourage remains behind as a bodyguard force. As they climb further and further down a strange liquidy sucking noise echoes from the earthen walls of the crypt. Deep beneath the earth they find a burial chamber and at the heart of the chamber is a creature of titanic proportions. Black metallic chains bind four slimy tentatcles in mid air, additional chains wrap around the body of a whale sized fish’s body with three eyes. Mucus falls from the bloated and suspended form, turning to dust as it drips off the body. The creature is easily ninety feet long and the chains holding it are as thick as a man’s body, each link just as long. Where the eyes should be are only swirling pools of shadow and lightning.

Hades: That is an aboleth…only I have never even heard stories of one bigger than an elephant…

Without moving or reacting the voice of The Sleeper washes over them.

Sleeper: You know of my race? The last of my kind vanished from your world millennia’s ago.

Hades: The stories of the world that once were are still found on occasion.

Sleeper: I am not typical of my race. Hence the reason for my captivity as opposed to extermination. Once I held sway and dominance over a young world ripe with fresh and willing slaves. I was strong and proud and unchallenged. Eventually The Enclave came and took away my empire. They toppled my palaces and broke the will of my slaves. Then they did something I would not have foreseen….they respected me. In my mind they saw a kindred will and intellect. They sought to compensate me for my losses. Such a tainted gift they presented me. Dominion over nightmares and immortality. I can invade the minds and dreams of virtually anything in existence, but I can’t escape my own confines. They have usurped my control and forced me into subservience.

Seraphim: I don’t understand, why confine you here and not within a separate prison?

Sleeper: Because this is not simply a prison, it is a place of security and control yes, but also a place to house weapons. They have bound me to the reality of this place. My presence gurantees a constant and replenished supply of undead. Until the day comes when these chains are shattered I will be the fuel for this fire. I do not think they anticipated our communal mind unlocking though. We are trapped in this place for now. Their plan was for us to be delivered unto a place of resistance like a bomb being dropped from the heavens.

Azzie: They buggered you hard mate.

Seraphim: I suppose we may able to break the chains.

Sleeper: You can’t. Only The Enclave bear that level of power. You can however help free those bound here with me. I once kept slaves for my own advantage, that I do no regret. But this eternal boredom I would wish upon no one. Help me free those imprisoned and I will hold you in favorable regard.

Pluto: If we refuse?

Sleeper: None here have eaten for time on end. I was thinking something that would stretch and sate the most possible, most likely a stew of some kind.

Seraphim: Now now…you of all should know that age old proverb…feed a man to a ghoul and you feed him for a day…bring a ghoul to the food and feed it for a lifetime. I think we need to converse about how we bring them to the buffet.

Side Note:

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The Sleeper: A massive oversized aboleth with nightmare lord template. I envisioned this as a corruption of using it's mucus and other abilities as a way to corral and control undead within the ecosystem.

[Demidos]

This just keeps getting better and better -- hats off to you.


A question though --

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is the Sleeper undead? How does he "keep the undead here"? I was looking through the nightmare lord class and I didn't see any links to undead -- no ability to raise them, control them, etc etc. Are they his former slaves? How does he help generate them? Is it a deal like that of Lau-Rain where he is so powerful he's actually mentally creating this entire plane?

[Kaveman26]

This just keeps getting better and better -- hats off to you.


A question though --

Spoiler

Show

is the Sleeper undead? How does he "keep the undead here"? I was looking through the nightmare lord class and I didn't see any links to undead -- no ability to raise them, control them, etc etc. Are they his former slaves? How does he help generate them? Is it a deal like that of Lau-Rain where he is so powerful he's actually mentally creating this entire plane?

More detailed answer:

It is a corruption of it's control type abilities. It is literally tearing undead out of their existence and binding them to the undead ecosystem. As undead are removed it auto replenishes the inventory. The communal hive mind type communication is unintended side effect. The nightmare lord template is meant to add substance to it controlling metaphorical souls as part of undeads existence

[Kahlendrrari]

It seems like Kaveman is playing the old "just the tip" game with us.

[GnomishPride]

Kaveman has left us once more... The thread slowly shrivels up and is dying.

[ImperatorV]

Kaveman has left us once more... The thread slowly shrivels up and is dying.

Well of course. We can't reanimate it if it isn't dead yet now can we?

[Tenmujiin]

Well of course. We can't reanimate it if it isn't dead yet now can we?

It's already been reanimated at least 4 times.

Have faith in the almighty kaveman and we will once again be blessed with updates.

[Jonagel]

Random question -- if they trigger the Lightmare again, might it change, assuming the party composition changes (more undead PCs)?

I'm picturing something that is more anti-undead, or even mind control/turns undead perhaps. An Alhoon could be interesting (Undead Mindflayer). An Alhoon could be interesting in general, given the Mindflayer theme.

On another note, cheap ways for Drow to challenge the PCs:
More Illusions - Minor Image alone can create "Several Orcs". This could be an extra few dozen spiders or drow in the eyes of the PCs. Given how cautious and strategic minded the PCs are, the first time this happens it may have a big impact. After that, the team will become paranoid about illusions, whether it's an escape route, a drow patrol they think they're about to ambush, or even some special item they want. Maybe the Drow see a certain item when they check out the library now. Though they can't take it b/c of security protocols, they can make the PCs believe the took it, luring them to a trap.

Of course, they may have already killed the Drows by now in real time!

[Kaveman26]

Their First Genuine Heartfelt Sincere Alliance:

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Seraphim: We are amenable to assisting you and from initial observation I think we can help in a few ways. First and foremost we can trade out any and all undead currently locked within the cemetary for mindless ones. We should we able to filter out thinking undead for mindless counterparts in even trades and cycle them off. As better options reveal themselves we will happily pursue those as well. We will also provide edible corpses in mass quantity as a boon for those who await release

Sleeper: What do you desire in return?

Ares: Very little. We are inside a secured wing of the ship. Little to nothing should be able to threaten us at this time. IF something were to manage entering the prison wing we would request support and aid in repelling invaders. Beyond that we need a volunteer to be encased within an amulet as part of a process for our bard to become a Shadow Lord. From the description it appears no specific harm will come to the one bound, but we aren’t positive so we would ask for a volunteer.

Hades: We have one other minor request. All those currently active and present in this place have our word that we will assist in garnering your freedom and feeding. Should circumstances lead to the creation or population of further “minded” undead we reserve the right to utilize them as minions.

Sleeper: How would you be able to tell?

Azzie: Well mate. Two ways. We can tie a ribbon or carve a brand into the ones already here, or we can count on you to let us know.

Sleeper: I can meet these requests and you have nearly unanimous support amongst the collective.

Doc: Hmmm. That raises a question. Can we borrow a ghoul for a minute? Want to remove an intelligent from the cemetary and see if he can still mind meet the collective.

Doc is able to verify that an undead pulled from the eco system can still communicate mind to mind with the collective inside.

Azzie: Do you care what happens to the mindless?

Sleeper: Not at all.

Azzie: Can we cut off a bunch of their heads?

Sleeper: Yes…?

Azzie: Bloody awesome thanks mate. Now I just needs me a skeleton head big enuff for a helmet.

All: What?

Azzie proceeds to build himself a little side project while the group juggles the logistics of becoming the Necromantic Moses leading his people to freedom. The Dirge Bard removes the heads from a few dozen undead and finds an ogre skeleton whom he fashions a crude helmet from the skull. He then proceeds to place them in various places all over the prison.

Azzie: Right…the bony helmet should now function as a communication’s system, with our pal the Aboleth as home base. He sees through the head’s eyes and can communicate via the collective. We just invented a survelliance system from mindless undead mates. Cheers!

Suddenly there is now an impetus to have a bag full of heads at any given time to seed “survelliance cameras” all over the place.

With a game plan in place the group settles in and preps to stay tight for a trio of days until the library re-opens. Their regrouped short term strategy looks something like this:

*Anything killed will be dragged back to the undead cemetary aka “Tombstone”. The remains will be slaughtered, distributed and fed to the inhabitants and then reanimated as mindless skeletons.

*Undead with minds will be cycled out from Tombstone and replaced with the new skeletons. Those released will take up sentry duty amidst the prison. Some are lining up to become Azzie’s Roadies or as he rebrands them Tombies. With leadership he begins filling up followers with ghouls and and ghasts.

*In three days they will make a sortie to the library to acquire more forbidden lore. Upon return they will hold up inside Tombstone and complete Azzie and Seraphim’s transformations.

*They continue to take a census of the undead within Tombstone. Mostly ghouls,ghasts,wights,spectres, and shadows. The lone wraith or mohrg is present, but rare. They are told that some of the older “stronger” ones have gone below ground and are in hibernation so to speak.

* I politely suggested that any attempts at creating an undead pyramid scheme or trying to trigger endless self replicating undead (wights creating wights etc) would be met with extreme and hostile responses. So No Wight-pocylpse on the horizon.

With their goals set they settle in for the three days and await the next library opening. Azzie begins to shuffling energy drains to everyone in the group minus Seraphim and to her detriment the witch continues to grow sicker by the day. At the end of the three day holding pattern her hair is turning grey and falling out in clumps and she swears she is developing arthritis and cataracts. In that condition they begin their journey to withdraw more books from the library…

Also: Alhoons will be presented and encountered. Eventually.

[DireSickFish]

Their First Genuine Heartfelt Sincere Alliance:

I don't believe this. Someone has to back-stab someone else!

This prison system seams 10x more complicated than most dungeons I run. Hell just the portal system contains a ton of mini dungeons. This is crazy awesome.

[Norin]

Alhoons....

[Aldurin]

It's not a real party until you find out that the Alhoons infiltrated it via the pizza delivery guy.

[CrispyCriminal]

Somewhere out there in the vast mental universe of shipping is a fanfiction of Azzie and Tsukiko waiting to be written.

[GnomishPride]

Behold, we have had faith, and lo, the God-Emperor Kaveman has delivered unto us a masterful tale once more.

Though seriously, very excited about new updates. Keep 'em coming!

[GorinichSerpant]

Somewhere out there in the vast mental universe of shipping is a fanfiction of Azzie and Tsukiko waiting to be written.

Now that this has been written it's only a matter of time.

[Inevitability]

Somewhere out there in the vast mental universe of shipping is a fanfiction of Azzie and Tsukiko waiting to be written.

Why limit yourself to Azzie? After all, Tsukiko does both.

[CrispyCriminal]

Why limit yourself to Azzie? After all, Tsukiko does both.

True! Though there is no telling whether Seraphim will still look hot after becoming a vampire, do we even know if she gets her hair back after this transition?

Anyways, just realized something. Has Azzie used his talking guitar further in? Sure he's likely pre-occupied with all that's going on but that was a nice gimmick of his.

[Quiver]

Finally got caught up on this. Man, this game is -fun- to read.

Horrifying, obviously, but still fun and amazing.

Given your groups chronic backstabbing... I'm not sure this alliance will last. But the only way to find out is for the next write-up, so...

[Traab]

Hmm, this is actually interesting. I mean, it seems like they are not dominating the undead they yank out. That means several potentially awesome and terrible things. For one, they are no longer restricted to the total number of slots available for their classes as to how big of an army they can form. On the other hand, they have no way to be sure the undead will STAY on their side.

[Mith]

True! Though there is no telling whether Seraphim will still look hot after becoming a vampire, do we even know if she gets her hair back after this transition?

She'll get a Charisma boost from the template IIRC, so I would assume so. And then there is the +2 circumstantial bonus due to Tsukiko particular tastes.

[Talar]

Kaveman thank you for taking the time to share this, it has been one of the most entertaining campaign journals I have ever read. I cannot wait to see how all this ends especially with the alhoons.

I am betting Seraphim will just regain her looks once the process is complete. Cause magic and whatnot. But that is probably just too simple for this campaign. The end of the process will probably involve screwing up all of Kaveman's carefully laid plans. Somehow...

[Kaveman26]

Back to the Bookshelves:

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Now slightly the worse for wear (Hades,Pluto,Doc have all absorbed energy drains and Seraphim is looking worse by the day) the crew assembles their undead horde and pushes out as a vanguard and rearguard, sandwiching themselves in the middle. They advance at a snail’s pace back to the library wing only pausing to place severed undead heads as makeshift security cameras at various junctures. Signs of a heavy battle remain behind as they encountered charred hunks of bone and the occasional puddle from melted webs. Whatever happened though is long over by their estimation as nothing engages them as they proceed.

Without anything impeding their march they quickly resume their position in the library and do a brief perimeter sweep before opening up the door. With more confidence than their first foray they all enter save for Ares and begin sweeping for books. In short order they locate the following:

Giantism: A Tall Order
Half Dragon: All Awesome
Heavenly Bodies: A basis for Celestials
Fey You Guys!

They also locate a few additional resource/crafting kits for some additional magic items. With a new cache of goodies in hand and nothing popping out as crucial they begin their exit procedure and start shifting their undead horde. As they leave a sheen of ice seals in the library entrance and a skirmishing force of drow and spiders from the bookshelves begins a ranged ambush. They lay a single volley into the crew and then seem to evaporate.

Seraphim: Crap. They were waiting for us to come back. Need to punch out the front and get clear before we caught up in a sniping war.

As they make their break for the door a Svathurim squeezes past the ice blocking the door and takes up a sentry position just inside. From the doorway, Ackshale, and several other giants are visible with massive javelins.

Ares: That way is looking occupied too.

Hades: Well we need an exit strategy. Can’t just sit here and get crushed.

Azzie: How long until the restricted section locks down?

Seraphim: a few minutes tops.

Azzie: Let’s burn the mutha down and hide inside the cage. Wait out a week and then leave.

Seraphim: They would just retreat and wait us out.

Azzie: Well we could still burn the whole place down. Should at least make them leave.

Hades: This is a priceless trove of knowledge and lore, it holds tomes that can alter the entire way we perceive the world and function within it, and you want to burn it down?

Azzie: As of right now we are the ONLY ones who have access to world changing knowledge and if we die here whats the point? Besides if we destroy it all then what we already have is just that more valuable, cause it will be exclusive to us.

*slight pause*

Hades: Alright, let’s get things crispy in here. Don’t forget the bookshelves against the walls.

Ares: Form up the burning giants in a circle…everyone get in that circle and start lobbing anything with fire everywhere we can. I will play goalie and direct traffic. *

Fireballs, Flamestrikes, Flaming Sphere and Ares assorted Graveknight abilities all start roasting and igniting everything within the library. Various stealth laden opponents are revealed by the flames and smoke and the frosty enemies decide that discretion is the better part of valor. The drow forces are more willing to duke it out a bit as they raise up protections from fire and return fire.

They continue to lace the entire wing with fire spells and stay within the confines of their undead cordon. Azzie and Ares try to snipe out targets as they track movement and winnow away the spiders if not any overly brave drow. Once everything is burning and spreading on it’s own they start clearing a path towards the exit, turning their giants into a half assed volunteer fire brigade.

Under fire (both literal and figurative) they manage to get themselves extricated and back to the hallway, bottle necking any remaining enemy forces within the burning wings. They happily line the hallway and mob anything trying to make a break for it from the blaze inside. It is a happy moment for them as they reap a heavy toll against drow and spider. Seraphim is squealing in delight as they manage to capture several drow hostages.

With a big win under their belts and more books in hand they abandon the now smoldering ruins of their oh so recent lair and return to the prison cell….where they encounter a massed force of giants, svats and trolls all established in formation and blocking them off from the prison. Their former ally, the lightning hammer wielding Ackshale is waiting for them with a serious scowl.

Ackshale: These last few weeks have been an aggravating pain the in neck. We have had enough of your escapades and I’ll be damned if more than of us walks away from this hall. Cards on the table lads...let’s have it out right now and here. Winner take all and to hell with the rest.

Ares: A straight up death fight huh?

Ackshale: No more foolery or deception strength against strength.

Seraphim: What about a barter?

Ackshale: You could have the wealth of a thousand kings but it would be a fool’s gold I be getting paid in. No chance.

Seraphim: See I hate it when you someone says there is nothing they would bargain for. There is always something. There is always a price that would be accepted.

Ackshale: There is nothing you have I can’t pry off your corpse.

Azzie: Actually there is mate. That fancy hammer you like so much? How many others are there in your clan? One? If any? What if we could outfit your whole gang with beaters like that?

Ackshale: Impossible.

Azzie: Up until the last few weeks hell yes. See there is a reason we fought so hard to get in that library. Books has power and now we have read the books. We can make more like that in time, lots of other fancy trinkets and talismans too. Problem is…if you kill us…poof no more knowledge. Cause we are the tricky bastards that not more than five minutes ago burned to a crisp the only game in town that could have gotten you into that racket. That makes us unique.

Ackshale: You are offering alliance…again…after all you have already done? I would rather kill you for the satisfaction of knowing you dead. And you can be damned sure I will cremate the bodies and spread the ashes just to be sure.

Azzie: Alliance? Bollocks to that. You pay us for services rendered and we deliver goods. Special rates for old friends too.

Ackshale: You mean like a discount?

Azzie: Did I say discount? I said special rates…we charge extra for the ones that we double crossed, that is how you know we are being honest. **

The giant tribal leader (and myself) are left speechless and extremely angry. With a scowl that could crumble mountains he falls back to confer with the rest of the tribe’s leadership. After a conference that includes some extremely hostile whispering he returns.

Ackshale: We are going to escort you back to the place from which you came. You have three days to confirm to us that what you say is true. Failing confirmation that you have indeed acquired the means to create items of power we will wipe you off the face of the earth.

Azzie: Do you have a request in mind?

Ackshale: We want a greataxe, sized for one of our kin imbued with the ability to combat undead.

Azzie: I can get you a magic axe in three days, but if you want it to combat undead I need ten.

Ackshale: How would we know that we aren’t just getting something you already posess? We need confirmation it was created.

Azzie: Tell me what you want it to look like. We can customize it.

They agree on a custom motif where the axe will resemble a headstone and engraved with a frost giant motif.

Azzie: alright mate. One undead slaying headstone shaped greataxe, need ten days, and that will cost you 20,000 in coin or trade.

Ackshale: 20,000?!?

Azzie: I dare you to find cheaper anywhere in here. Half upright and half on delivery.

Very jaded the giants agree, and escort the group back to the prison cell.

Ares: Well it looks like we just went into business as arms merchants.



*Huh…well I didn’t see that coming.

**I had to drop my pencil and walk away from the table to collect myself after this one

Side Note:

Very tempted to mock up an Azzie/Tsukiko "fanfic"

[Aldurin]

They keep doubling down on the same tactics and I can't believe it keeps working.

[Jonagel]

Updates to this campaign make my day, every time.

Point of interest --- The number of dead giants it has cost to get an enchanted war axe seems not worth it...especially considering all the backstabbing. Would they sacrifice 20 giants to steal/attack another clan for a magical weapon (assuming no value as a cultural or tribal heirloom)? I expected the giants to agree, but on the grounds that it was within the confines of giant territory, under watch/guard. There must be some be softies (or SUPER greedy) elders that weighed in on the decision. At least they requested Undead Bane :D There is only one way to test that.

What I am really looking forward to, is whether they can craft an intelligent or cursed item. In Pathfinder I believe you can...I sincerely hope they do not figure it out, or they're going to cause you even more headaches somehow.

Giant War Axe of Delusion? Hah.
Character is stunned for 1d4 rounds once item function is finished (or randomly, 1/day). Giant tests it, then gets stunned and shanked?
Armor, Gravesoul? Apply that to an Axe...makes everyone think they're undead.

[Jacob.Tyr]

Slavery, breeding sentient creatures like cattle, using sentient creatures as cattle... Arms dealing seems a bit tame.

[Kaveman26]

Updates to this campaign make my day, every time.


What I am really looking forward to, is whether they can craft an intelligent or cursed item. In Pathfinder I believe you can...I sincerely hope they do not figure it out, or they're going to cause you even more headaches somehow.

Giant War Axe of Delusion? Hah.
Character is stunned for 1d4 rounds once item function is finished (or randomly, 1/day). Giant tests it, then gets stunned and shanked?
Armor, Gravesoul? Apply that to an Axe...makes everyone think they're undead.

This *sigh*

[ImperatorV]

Slavery, breeding sentient creatures like cattle, using sentient creatures as cattle... Arms dealing seems a bit tame.

OK I forget - when did they breed sentient creatures like cattle?

[Jacob.Tyr]

OK I forget - when did they breed sentient creatures like cattle?

Their Minotaur breeding program, trying to make more and more psychic minotaurs to kill and animate.

[CrispyCriminal]

NINJA'ED by post above.