LGBTAI+ #52: Aces High

[Astrella]

What? Why avoid gender identity clinics? Isn't that exactly why they exist, to help people with gender identity issues work out what they want and how to get it?

Ideally, yeah. There's just, quite a few of them that are really horrible. I wouldn't say, avoid them as a rule, but I would do your research in advance at least.

[SiuiS]

What? Why avoid gender identity clinics? Isn't that exactly why they exist, to help people with gender identity issues work out what they want and how to get it?

They are clinics which deal with gender. This. Could mean helping with gender, or it could mean policing and gate keeping gender.

[Astrella]

I think a lot of people have trouble understanding transgender issues because they try to see themselves as trans, but come at it from the wrong direction. i.e. a cis woman tries to understand transness by going, “what if I felt like/wanted to be a man” when she should be approaching it as “what if I, a woman, was so easily mistaken for a man that I had to pretend to be one”,

And I think this is something to keep in mind and to explain away when trying to get these matters across to people who’re new to the idea.

From here. Going to try this with my parents maybe that'll help a bit.

[Delusion]

Where do you live? Standard ways to access treatment can vary between countries.

Here, in Quebec, you need a referral from a psychologist to get hormones from an endocrinologist. Some places also have informed consent policies for hormones.

A general rule is to avoid gender identity clinics if at all possible, but in some countries, it's mandatory to have health expenses covered by the health system.

*hug* It will go well

And in some countries, they are only legal way to get things like hormones, name and ID change and referral for surgery... but hey, at least I don't have to pay for it.

[Serpentine]

Ideally, yeah. There's just, quite a few of them that are really horrible. I wouldn't say, avoid them as a rule, but I would do your research in advance at least.

They are clinics which deal with gender. This. Could mean helping with gender, or it could mean policing and gate keeping gender.

Reeeaally doesn't seem like a good idea to me to make sweeping discouraging statements about it, especially without any evidence backing it up and when the situation probably varies dramatically around the world.

Helio, didja not see my post about your photo?

[Heliomance]

Helio, didja not see my post about your photo?

I did, yes. I'll post a pic once the outfit's come through the wash :P

[Irish Musician]

[QUOTE=Heliomance;18149745]Fine, here you go. I warn you, I look ridiculously derpy.

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And the number of the counting will be three.....

Seriously though, cuteness

So um
hello
I'm 17, going to college in about a year. I'm MtF trans and I kind of don't know what to do about it. I mean, I want to get HRT therapy at some point? But I don't know how to go about getting it or how long it takes or how much it costs. Or really, what I'm going to do. In the future. The future is ominous and threatening.
Advice? Reassurance? ...Hugs?

First of all
WELCOME!!

Secondly, *hugs*

Thirdly, the future does tend to do that but just remember that once you get to it, it isn't all that bad usually. We are here if you need anything, I'm sorry I can't be of much help in this situation but I always have an ear to talk at and a shoulder to cry on. And of course, hugs to give!

I've misgendered people a couple times. Never deliberately, and most often with cis people. I'm sorry it hurt you, but I hope you know it can happen to anybody with a slip of the tongue, and that it's not necessarily a reflection on you or a hostile thing, and you should feel free to feel good about yourself.

This, so much this. I am so very bad at a slip of the tongue and calling people the wrong gender. Especially if I knew them as another gender before they transitioned or started identifying as another gender. It is purely my brain being stubborn and not wanting to learn new things even when I try and hammer them into it. I really try my best and it doesn't happen all the time, but it does still happen.

All I can say is sorry and do better next time, and I would guess that most of the time (jerks and nay-sayers excluded) that is all it is. People having a brain-fart and messing up. So, like our many-armed friend said, feel good about yourself, you should!

[byzantineblue]

Thank you, people!

Where do you live? Standard ways to access treatment can vary between countries.

Here, in Quebec, you need a referral from a psychologist to get hormones from an endocrinologist. Some places also have informed consent policies for hormones.

A general rule is to avoid gender identity clinics if at all possible, but in some countries, it's mandatory to have health expenses covered by the health system.

*hug* It will go well

I live in the US. California.

[Miriel]

What? Why avoid gender identity clinics? Isn't that exactly why they exist, to help people with gender identity issues work out what they want and how to get it?

In theory, but practice seems to be different. In some places research about gender identity is more important than actually helping people. All reports I have were meh to bad. I met some GIC people here, and they used a long-dead version of the Standards of Care, which required a year-long real life experience before getting hormones. In some countries, it's more or less mandatory, at least to get your things paid for -- that's the only reason I see to go there. But when it was so here in Quebec, many people still prefered to pay for surgery in Thailand rather than go to the GIC, because it was so bad.

[Heliomance]

[QUOTE=Irish Musician;18152387]

Fine, here you go. I warn you, I look ridiculously derpy.

Spoiler

Show

And the number of the counting will be three.....

That would be Let The Bodies Hit The Floor.

[Kesnit]

I'm going to stand up for specialty clinics, since that is where I started.

I'm in the Washington DC area. There is a clinic in DC that specializes in the LGBT community. When I was ready to start hormones, my trans friends recommended that clinic. (I kick myself for not thinking of it myself, since the clinic is well-known.)

They did require a letter from a mental health professional, but that wasn't an issue since I had been seeing a psychologist for a few years for unrelated issues. There was a lab and pharmacy on-site, so I didn't even have to try to find somewhere to get those things done.

The only issue I had was when the nurse-practitioner who was doing my physical asked if I had been influenced by "Max." I gave her a confused look and asked who "Max" was. Max, it seems, was an FtM character on The L Word, and the clinic had had an increase in new clients, many stating the idea to transition had come from watching Max's. I just shuddered and told her I hate The L Word.

The clinic worked with me to find a hormone system that worked for me. (I started with injectable, but switched when I got too freaked out to self-inject. After that was the patch, which I was allergic to. Finally, I got gel, which I used for several years.)

So yeah, just because a few clinics are bad doesn't mean all are. When I moved back to DC after law school, I wanted to go back to that clinic, but they don't take the insurance I had at the time. After the rollout of Obamacare, I looked into them again, but they don't take my new insurance, either.



Speaking of hormones, I am having a devil of a time getting a refill...

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I went to my endo in May and got a new prescription (for gel). When I took it to the pharmacy, the pharmacy told me my insurance would not cover it (even though it was listed as a covered drug). I had my doctor submit an appeal to insurance, and write me a prescription for injectable to carry me over. (My wife can inject me.) My insurance didn't cover the injectable, either, but it was a lot cheaper than gel, so I just paid out of pocket. (Normally, the insurance would cover the injectable. But the amount I was getting was weird, and they wouldn't pay for that amount.)

In August, the injectable ran out. So I called the pharmacy to get the gel, and found out that my insurance would only pay $45 of a $300 prescription. Raging, I called my insurance. A few days later, they called to say they would pay all but $15. In relief, I called the pharmacy - and found they could no longer get the gel. Then I noticed that my insurance will mail out medication with a long-term prescription. So I called to find out what I needed, then called my doctor to have the doctor send the 'script to my insurance. My doctor was out of the country, and wouldn't be back until early September.

Last week, I called my endo and was told he had signed the presciption, but since it is a controlled substance, they can't fax it to my insurance. However, they can mail me the script and I can fax it. I got the prescription on Friday, and called my insurance yesterday. Turns out I can't fax it, the doctor has to. However, the insurance will call the doctor to confirm the prescription, which I asked them to do.

Now I am waiting to see if everything will work out, or if I have to jump though more hoops. If this doesn't work, I'm going to find a new pharmacy and have my endo send them the prescription.

[Serpentine]

Little article about an Australian trans man. Also includes mention of a study done into the mental health of non-cis people with some stats.
It's interesting what it says about him not considering himself a "man". I'd be curious to know more about what he means by that.

[SiuiS]

Reeeaally doesn't seem like a good idea to me to make sweeping discouraging statements about it, especially without any evidence backing it up and when the situation probably varies dramatically around the world.

Helio, didja not see my post about your photo?

What part of "could be this thing, could be that thing" is a sweeping declarative?

Thank you, people!

I live in the US. California.

Oh! Hiya, State Buddy!

Little article about an Australian trans man. Also includes mention of a study done into the mental health of non-cis people with some stats.
It's interesting what it says about him not considering himself a "man". I'd be curious to know more about what he means by that.

My guess is imposter syndrome, but who knows? Second/alternate/coincident theory is that masculinity is so socially attached to a penis that he considers himself somewhat of a eunuch or other nonmasculine?

[Serpentine]

What part of "could be this thing, could be that thing" is a sweeping declarative?

I was mostly referring to Caroline's original statement, in response to you, continuing the discussion from the original post rather than starting from scratch with you.

My guess is imposter syndrome, but who knows? Second/alternate/coincident theory is that masculinity is so socially attached to a penis that he considers himself somewhat of a eunuch or other nonmasculine?

They both seem like a big stretch to me, since in the article it says he does consider himself male and a lad, just having an issue with "man". So I'll stick with my being interested in hearing how he'd expand on it rather than conjecturing.

[Athedia]

[QUOTE=Irish Musician;18152387]

Fine, here you go. I warn you, I look ridiculously derpy.

Spoiler

Show

And the number of the counting will be three.....

Seriously though, cuteness

First of all
WELCOME!!

Secondly, *hugs*

Thirdly, the future does tend to do that but just remember that once you get to it, it isn't all that bad usually. We are here if you need anything, I'm sorry I can't be of much help in this situation but I always have an ear to talk at and a shoulder to cry on. And of course, hugs to give!

This, so much this. I am so very bad at a slip of the tongue and calling people the wrong gender. Especially if I knew them as another gender before they transitioned or started identifying as another gender. It is purely my brain being stubborn and not wanting to learn new things even when I try and hammer them into it. I really try my best and it doesn't happen all the time, but it does still happen.

All I can say is sorry and do better next time, and I would guess that most of the time (jerks and nay-sayers excluded) that is all it is. People having a brain-fart and messing up. So, like our many-armed friend said, feel good about yourself, you should!

I occasionally slip up with some friends as well, but often when I knew them before they started identifying as something other than cisgender (agender, transer, fluid, etc). Then again I have been known to mix up with my cis friends.

[Coidzor]

Little article about an Australian trans man. Also includes mention of a study done into the mental health of non-cis people with some stats.
It's interesting what it says about him not considering himself a "man". I'd be curious to know more about what he means by that.

And "lad" for that matter, considering that "lad" seems to be used by Brits and Aussies the same way Americans and Internet people use "dudebro," or "frat boy." I mean, to me it'll always mean, on some level, minor male-child/man-cub between the ages of 8-10 and 14-16 depending upon their physical developmentm, no matter how many times I see foreigners use it, but... probably nowhere near the sense they'd be going for, aside from possibly a sense of not quite full maturity in the sense that I'd term as being like unto the idealized father of a prosperous, stable family according to the American Dream.

So a figure of the imagination that has never existed in meatspace and will never exist.

[Heliomance]

Apparently today is bisexual visibility day.

[golentan]

Apparently today is bisexual visibility day.

Soooo.... Should I go to class naked?

[byzantineblue]

Oh! Hiya, State Buddy!

Bongiorno! Don't suppose you know anything more specific about transitioning in CA?

[Togath]

So... I've been having trouble explaining a few Trans* issues to a friend.
They aren't transphobic(as far as I can tell), more... They just don't get a lot of stuff.

Had this conversation earlier, as an example of what I mean(context was that the subject of misgendering trans* or other nonbinary people came up);
[me]: There really needs to be less awkward way to ask which pronouns someone prefers..
[friend]: Perhaps
[friend]: In the civilized way of using the one that looks right for their appearance?
[me]: ...
[friend]: And then changing if they object?
[me]: more I meant asking before you use male or female pronouns.. or it becoming more common for people to use neutral ones
[me]: like "they", "them", or "their"
[friend]: So.
[friend]: Because a minority group would prefer that others change their vocabulary, you feel that the majority should go along with it?
[me]: Let's just stop this conversation..
[friend]: Yeah
[friend]: Sorry.

They did stop the conversation when I asked to stop... But it was still a bit disconcerting. I feel like I'm just not explaining things well enough.

[byzantineblue]

So... I've been having trouble explaining a few Trans* issues to a friend.
They aren't transphobic(as far as I can tell), more... They just don't get a lot of stuff.

I feel your pain. One of my friends is not convinced that gender exists. I think. Her opinions are nebulous but somewhat belligerent.

[Serpentine]

And "lad" for that matter, considering that "lad" seems to be used by Brits and Aussies the same way Americans and Internet people use "dudebro," or "frat boy." I mean, to me it'll always mean, on some level, minor male-child/man-cub between the ages of 8-10 and 14-16 depending upon their physical developmentm, no matter how many times I see foreigners use it, but... probably nowhere near the sense they'd be going for, aside from possibly a sense of not quite full maturity in the sense that I'd term as being like unto the idealized father of a prosperous, stable family according to the American Dream.

So a figure of the imagination that has never existed in meatspace and will never exist.

We don't really use it like that in Australia. Or much at all. On the rare occasion it is used, I think it's generally more affectionate - "my lad" sorta thing.
Lad is a weird word.

[Mono Vertigo]

They both seem like a big stretch to me, since in the article it says he does consider himself male and a lad, just having an issue with "man". So I'll stick with my being interested in hearing how he'd expand on it rather than conjecturing.

To be fair, I kind of have the same issue. I use the word "woman" to describe myself because it's technically accurate, being both female and adult, but it feels weird. But that's more to do with the fact I don't feel like an adult psychologically than any issue related to gender.
Maybe he's got something vaguely similar going on?

[Serpentine]

Eh, I'm a cis woman and describing myself as "woman" still seems weird. I'm a girl dagnabbit! D:

[Mono Vertigo]

I thought I was the only one like that!

[Serpentine]

Yeah, who knows, maybe there is some fear of growing up in there.

[Miriel]

Me too! I'm not a woman, I'm a girl!

[Castaras]

Huzzah for us girls! I ain't a lady or woman! D:

[Mono Vertigo]

And to think I avoided using the term "girl" because it can be demeaning when talking about grown women (granted, the only one I wanted to call as such is myself, but still).

[Heliomance]

Yeah, I'm joining the "I'm not a woman, I'm a girl" bandwagon :P