Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VII: No, Not Even Then

[Socksy]

* If the character speaks solely in rhyming couplets, he's banned.
** If my paragraphs involving the character are all in Shakesperian sonnet form, I'm banned.

It was a Homestuck freeform RPG. He was not the worst character.

[Ksheep]

* If the character speaks solely in rhyming couplets, he's banned.
** If my paragraphs involving the character are all in Shakesperian sonnet form, I'm banned.

It was a Homestuck freeform RPG. He was not the worst character.

*** If the character speaks only in haiku, he's banned

[vasharanpaladin]

* If the character speaks solely in rhyming couplets, he's banned.
** If my paragraphs involving the character are all in Shakesperian sonnet form, I'm banned.

It was a Homestuck freeform RPG. He was not the worst character.

*** If the character speaks only in haiku, he's banned

Wow, you guys have some bad groups. If I managed to pull either of these off I'd get MVP forever!

[Sith_Happens]

Wow, you guys have some bad groups. If I managed to pull either of these off I'd get MVP forever!

Spoiler: This Thread's Dirty Secret

Show

Not everything that gets posted here actually happened.

[illyahr]

*No longer allowed to reveal that particular threads consist of half reality and half inside jokes.

[Sartharina]

Spoiler: This Thread's Dirty Secret

Show

Not everything that gets posted here actually happened.

Unless it's something Socksy posts. Or me.

*No longer allowed to reveal that particular threads consist of half reality and half inside jokes.

And far to many bland pop-culture references that are only funny if they are reality.

[Rater202]

Most of my Exalted stuff, anything referancing MLP, and the ones about the 10-11 year old who really needs to tell his therapist that he's building guns in his basement are true.

The rest is stuff I made up or would really like to happen.

The Dresden Files stuff I posted a bit ao, about the shape shifter who kept trying to turn into heroes was something discussed but not done

Speaking of which, here's something real I can't remember if I already posted about so doing it anyway
*In a dresden files game where we're fighting a winter court noble who refuses to give power to summer, singing "Winter Wrap Up" while fighting him is permitted
**Doing so while my fetch-spawned changeling is shapeshifted into a Dalek is not, especially if I'm imitating the Dalek voice at the time.
***Nor is it appropriate for the werewolf to sing while in wolf form
****The Focused Practicioner and Wizard who can't even watch TV are right out.

The best bit? We all startted signing IRL, in character, at the exact same moment, and nobody else knew the others watched the show.

[Esprit15]

Typically, my stuff is either true or mostly true. Only sometimes do you get the "I just had an idea" stuff.

[Ryu_Bonkosi]

Spoiler: This Thread's Dirty Secret

Show

Not everything that gets posted here actually happened.

But in that respect, most of the things I post by myself happened, my replies to other people's chains, or comments are usually just ideas.

[Erik Vale]

*I may no longer play characters with a wisdom above 8.
**Lower is preferable.

[EvilAnagram]

*I may not target random items in the room to keep chaos bolt ricocheting.
**Even if that clock was looking at me funny.

*My barbarian may not dedicate himself to aggressive atheism.
**That includes trying to kill the gods he meets.

*I may no longer name characters Not Patrick.

[Ksheep]

* I should ask the players to inform me of their character decisions before the game starts
** I should probably tell people what everyone else is playing before the game starts
*** I should not be surprised when the party winds up being a Wizard, a Sorcerer, a Bard, a Cleric, a Psion, and an Incarnum user
**** When I suggest that someone might want to reroll to give some diversity, I shouldn't be surprised when everyone rerolls… as rogues
***** Especially when the campaign in Undead-heavy

[Sgt. Cookie]

*In a murder mystery, we're trying to figure out which suspect is the murderer and the Detect Alignment spells aren't working because of a mcguffin, the Paladin should tell the Cleric "We need to find the mcguffin and destroy it" not "Prepare Raise Dead and Atonement. Lots of it."

[Prince Raven]

I'll admit, about half the stuff I post is a continuation of someone else's post or something I've been pre-emptively banned from doing.

[Anonymouswizard]

From some games a friend told me about:

* When creating a dungeon I must remember to add monsters.
** Or at least traps.
*** The dungeon cannot be 250 15ft x 15ft rooms connected by 5ft corridors, with each room having a 10cmx10cmx60cm hole in the exact centre, shrouded in darkness.
**** If the first hole they stick their hand into has a valuable gemstone in it, I should not be surprised when they proceed to stick their hands into every other hole in the dungeon.
***** The next hole should contain more than a mousetrap that deals a single point of damage.
****** When the PCs exit the dungeon having loot equal to one 50gp gemstone and 249 mousetraps I should continue the session.

* If I solve the problem in thirty seconds flat, something is wrong.
** Especially when it wasn't supposed to be a maths puzzle.

And in preparation for my shadowrun game:

* I cannot design a puzzle that has no solution.
* I cannot have the Johnson pay the party entirely in old fashioned NAND gates, even if it totals the agreed amount of Nuyen.
** Or NOR gates.
*** Or BJTs.
**** Or MOSFETs.
***** Or empty Credsticks.

[DigoDragon]

Typically, my stuff is either true or mostly true. Only sometimes do you get the "I just had an idea" stuff.

About 75-80% of my posts are things that did happen or are things me and some buddies theorize while drinking around the table (which usually leads to some quick free-form RPing to test the idea).


* No longer allowed to create any construct who's name is prefixed by the word 'Inflatable'.
** Banned from purchasing chlorine gas in large quantities.
*** Expressly forbidden from combining these two concepts.

[Sgt. Cookie]

***** Or empty Credsticks.

****** Or empty forged Credsticks.

[Vknight]

Most of mine are true and generally I'll make a not if not(or it is a continuation of an early thing)

*No longer allowed too tell the other players too just give the Lone Star officer the bribe he wants
**Especially when they are the secondary wheelman and want too outrun Lone Star
***I may not then tranq said character for being on the 6o-clock news
****I must now come on every mission and assignment regardless of if it is a personal mission or my opinion of the character we are helping
*****I can no longer be the primary face

*No longer allowed too complain when my new Runner fits the exact parameters the group needs and they go too find an NPC who will fill those criteria
**No longer allowed too complain when the pressure trap my character cannot trigger is triggered
***No longer allowed too complain when the motion sensor trap my character cannot trigger is triggered
****No longer allowed too complain when the UN-shielded Ultrasound equipment was undetected
*****No longer allowed too complain that my character did not somehow see the power-cords connected too the large wooden crate, when I have electronic-sense
******No longer allowed too complain when the tracking spirit tracks me when I have no astral presence and can mask it

*I can no longer make sniper based super villains
**Or villains that use homing weapons with poison

*Can no longer kidnap a players character if they miss a session
**Even though it was already planned out too happen, before they missed the session
***Cannot incapacitate players that do not have super endurance with a truck

*No longer allowed too have the villain be a guardsmen who looks like the most interesting man in the world
**Especially if he has gained an Ork cult who have found old tapes of those commercials
***Especially if he is a tactical genius
****This doubles if he's a genetic experiment combing Eldar, Human, and Space Marine genetics
*****Triples if the Human donor was Creed or Yarrick. Triples if the Eldar donor was Ulthran. Triples if the Space Marine donor was Sanguinius
******If it includes only 2 out of the 4 that does not make it better

*Yes I can play a female space marine
**No I cannot play a female space marine in Dark Heresy especially with the luck I have on the boon table(...)
***The Ravenguard and Space Wolf can have a relationship
****Cannot question why Marines cannot reproduce
*****If I kill the navigator for being insufferable then I do have too spend time in the happy corner

*As a guardsmen I should not be able too reliably handle Space Marines in Terminator Armour
**Doubles if its a duel with swords of any sort
***If I can reliably one-shot a Space Marine we have a small problem
****If I can go toe too toe with a Riptide for 25+ rounds and survive, and more importantly have a chance at actually killing it we have a problem
*****If this is that dang Hot-Shot Laspistol build again we will choke the life out of you.
******Cannot steal a Frost Blade
*******Cannot learn the secrets of technology xeno or otherwise too combine a chainsword and power-sword because the stupid space wolves won't give me one
********Cannot call the Space Wolves stupid for hoarding

*Cannot call the Space Marines stupid for charging a Tau gun line.
**Cannot call anyone stupid for charging a gun line
***Cannot call it stupid that the primary tactic of several armies is melee
****No not even if I point out the Longbow
*****Cannot say it makes sense for shooting people with a gun is more effective then punching them with a fist

*No longer allowed too play Tau in 40K matches
**Or Eldar
***Or Imperial Guard
****Or Imperial Knights
*****Or Dark Angels
******Or Necrons
*******No longer allowed too give advice too other players
********I can no longer have a Wraith-knight be my Warlord
*********My Warlords unit cannot have re-roll-able anything saves or the ability too cast invisibility
**********I can no longer play Chaos Daemons of Tzeentch
***********I can no longer bring Daemon Princes of Nurgle
************No longer allowed too play new people too the hobby
*************No longer allowed too bring guns that have blast templates
**************I don't care how you did it a 11 man Ork Nobz squad with power klaws and bikes and a painboy for 650 points in a 1000 point game is not fair
***************Or Grey Knights
****************No longer allowed too bring monstrous creatures
*****************No longer allowed too bring flyers
******************No longer allowed too mention that most of this list(and those that came before) are true, and its very little exaggeration

[Prince Raven]

Vknight, while I think your post is hilarious, your constant misuse of the word "too" is driving me (more) insane.

[ReaderAt2046]

* When asked for my character's backstory, cannot submit a comic strip.
** Even if I drew it myself.

* My Huge sentient stone golem cannot have the highest Stealth modifier in the party.
** Or the highest Dex modifier.
*** Or slippers of Spiderclimbing.
*** Just because I have max ranks in Bluff and maxed-out Charisma doesn't mean that I can say I'm a tree and have people believe me.

* I am never again allowed to play a PC cultist in Call Of Cthulhu.
** And doubly never again allowed to ascend to godhood.

* No, I cannot have an eldritch horror from beyond the Living Gate as a pet.
** Even if I am playing a Star Pact warlock.

* Never again allowed to have Princess Azula as my spirit guide.
** Or as my great-grandmother.

[TheCrowing1432]

I can no longer reference attack on titan.



During one of our epic level campaign battles, we had to fight our way through an elven city. We were halfway through the city when a Colossal triant blocked our path.

After killing it, (narrowly avoiding getting killed ourselves)

I said "We received a grim reminder that day"


Later on in the same campaign, we plane shifted to a new plane where we were wondering through a forest when he met up with a scout legion of a nearby city.

As soon as I heard scout legion, I played the AOT opening, earning the ban from referencing it.

[Ksheep]

* I shouldn't assume that someone else in the party will grab torches/lanterns/etc. when buying possessions
** Especially when the rest of the party has Darkvision
*** I am entirely to blame if I blindly follow the party into the dungeon with no light sources

* Yes, I may buy an Everburning Torch
** No, it is not a Tiki torch

[Hyena]

* Sunrod is not a glowstick.

[Vknight]

Vknight, while I think your post is hilarious, your constant misuse of the word "too" is driving me (more) insane.

Son of a... I did use the wrong to...

*I will not write posts for Things I May No Longers Do While Playing past midnight local time

[DigoDragon]

* Sunrod is not a glowstick.

** Banned from throwing Dungeon Rave Parties.
*** Not allowed to fill the mosh pit with gelatinous cubes.
**** I may not spike the cleric's healing potions with speed.
***** Heightening sonic spells by 3 levels is not the same thing as 'Dropping the bass'.
****** No longer allowed to rig the after party clean up so that the bard awakens fully clothed and alone in bed at a respectable temple sanctuary.

[Anonymouswizard]

From tonight's shadowrun game:

* The elf should not hit on everything in sight.
** Especially when he has no social skills.
*** I should inform the player that neon pink suits are the current men's fashion before he rolls the dice.
**** The six charisma shaman should not be flirting with the secretary in order to get the plans.
***** Especially when she's just seen through his lie.
***** Mind control is a sin. If I hadn't rolled no successes on the NPCs notice roll you would have gained notoriety.

* If one of the characters has an outspoken prejudice against trolls, I cannot have the Johnson hire a troll as extra muscle on the run.
** Especially when I plan to kill him off 5 minutes before the run just to foreshadow my ghoul samurai.

[Ksheep]

* When the players complain that the monster they fought in the arena was too easy and that they want a harder opponent, I should just say "no, you've already fought"
** When the announcer says "The next monster we have scheduled is very tough", the players are supposed to back down, not wholeheartedly agree to fight it
*** When I just grab the next monster in the MM because I didn't have anything prepared, I shouldn't be surprised when it's 5 levels higher than the party
**** When the party decides to attack it anyway, even when the only way they could actually hit it is with a Nat 20, I shouldn't be surprised
***** Even after I tell them it can only be hit with a Nat 20
****** Doubly so when I tell them it has over 150 HP
******* Especially if this is the first encounter of a new campaign with a number of new players…

[Ferrin33]

*I am not allowed to make my summoned bears jump down a spider pit
**I am not allowed to wait for the impact to determine its depth
***If I hear a thud, this does not mean there are no webs

[Wookieetank]

* When the players complain that the monster they fought in the arena was too easy and that they want a harder opponent, I should just say "no, you've already fought"
** When the announcer says "The next monster we have scheduled is very tough", the players are supposed to back down, not wholeheartedly agree to fight it
*** When I just grab the next monster in the MM because I didn't have anything prepared, I shouldn't be surprised when it's 5 levels higher than the party
**** When the party decides to attack it anyway, even when the only way they could actually hit it is with a Nat 20, I shouldn't be surprised
***** Even after I tell them it can only be hit with a Nat 20
****** Doubly so when I tell them it has over 150 HP
******* Especially if this is the first encounter of a new campaign with a number of new players…

n+1* Not to be surprised when the party then takes out the monster.
n+2* As a DM of more than 1 session, should've expected that outcome really.
n+3* Not to then procede with the next hardest monster, the party will think you're just encouraging them and turn the arena into an xp farm.

[Rater202]

*"Scion of a Seelie Sidhe" is a permissible High Concept for a Summer Changeling
**"Can't lie for s***" is an acceptable Trouble for a changeling
***"Shy but kind" is an...okay Aspect.
****As is "shirt off my back"
*****"Never turn your back on a friend." Also works
******"Everyone Smile" is starting to make me suspicious-Oh wait, it's tied to your "Emotional Vampire" power, well, okay then
*******"My Friends are my Power" is starting to make me suspicious again.
********Not allowed to combine multiple MLP:FiM characters' personality traits when building a PC.