How many people will attend your funeral?

[Zurvan]

How many people do you think will attend your funeral?

I'm feeling morbid again.

[Eldan]

If I died right now? Hm. Parents, brother, 2 surviving grandparents, both aunts, surely. Maybe some of the cousins, but I think 7 is it, probably. Very manageable.

[Rockphed]

If I died right now? Hm. Parents, brother, 2 surviving grandparents, both aunts, surely. Maybe some of the cousins, but I think 7 is it, probably. Very manageable.

The real question is "how many people who would attend your funeral would not be killed in the accident that offs you?" I work in factories, so my immediate family would probably all attend. 20 people at a minimum(though it would vary depending on how many children showed up).

Out of curiosity, why do you ask? Funerals aren't particularly morbid affairs in my experience. Sure, there is a box with the mortal coil which has been sloughed off sitting somewhere in the room, but said box is closed for the actual funeral. I suppose there are people with a less forward looking view on death than I enjoy, and the funerals they put on would be rather depressing.

Obviously, you need to schedule a wake rather than a funeral. There is no way to get lots of people to raise a glass to you like promising free filled glasses to all comers.

[Jallorn]

I've always been more interested in what people will say at my funeral, than how many will be there. I guess I've always been interested in quality over quantity.

[Aedilred]

Out of curiosity, why do you ask? Funerals aren't particularly morbid affairs in my experience. Sure, there is a box with the mortal coil which has been sloughed off sitting somewhere in the room, but said box is closed for the actual funeral. I suppose there are people with a less forward looking view on death than I enjoy, and the funerals they put on would be rather depressing.

I think it depends in part on the circumstances of the death. If someone is killed in their 20s (or younger!) in an accident, or commits suicide, it's pretty hard for the funeral not to be depressing, I imagine. Especially for the parents, or their partner, if they have one. The same goes for anyone "taken before their time". I've been relatively fortunate in that the only people very close to me who've died during my adult life have been old and well past their best - in fact it's generally acknowledged it would have been better for all concerned if at least one of them had gone a couple of years earlier. But even then the parts of the coffin where one interacts with the coffin were still a bit grim, and seeing my dad choke up while he gave the eulogy was still a bit of a shock to the system.

To be honest I can completely understand the question. I think an awful lot of people would rather like to attend their own funerals, to see who turned up, what was said, whether the style and content of the affair was something they'd have approved of or whether the organiser misjudged it terribly, and so on.

Attendance at my funeral as things stand would likely be hampered by logistical issues. In fact I don't really want to think about it, since I haven't discussed my wishes for what to do with my body with anyone really and I am certain that therefore someone would "get it wrong". Moreover the place I'd want to be buried (in rough terms; I haven't really thought about it in specific terms) isn't all that close to where I currently live, which would make things even trickier. Assuming enough notice was given and it wasn't held way out of the way, I'd expect maybe 30 people there. Possibly a few more.

[Kalmageddon]

I like to think that, beside my family and friends, there would be quite a few heartbroken girls and lots of awkwardness when they meet eachother for the first time. Actually, I hope it would turn into something funny when they realize their numbers, which I always refuse to tell, and after all I never cheated on any of them.
I have this lovely image in my head of them all getting along and sharing stories... That would be great. Not that I'm in any hurry to find out if that's how it would go.

[alaalba_123]

7, tops. If enough notice is given, and my extended family can make it into town, it jumps to 15-18.

Spoiler: On the morbidity of funerals

Show

Funerals are harsh events for some people, and as pointed out by several people, it really depends on who died. When my great grandpa died, he had lived well past his prime, watched his children and grandchildren grow into adults, and was able to leave his affairs well in order. So, even though it was sad, and there was definitely a mourning period for most of the family, it was recognized as his time.

In contrast, the first day of my Senior year of High School, I went to a funeral to support for a friend whose six-month old nephew had overheated and died in the night the week before. Her whole family was devastated, the blame game was being played, with most of the mother's family blaming the father, to the point of somebody telling him he had no right to be there. It was definitely a very morbid, sordid event.

So, I really think how morbid a funeral is depends heavily on how old the deceased was, and what circumstances they died under.

[Insane Trystane]

Honestly, since I'm not going to be there for it, do whatever you want at my funeral. Bury me, burn me, cry, party, it doesn't matter to me. I personally don't enjoy funerals, but I understand that they're necessary for the living to gain closure after their loss, so I want those who survive me to do whatever they feel led to.

That being said, the number of people who showed up would probably be at least an order of magnitude greater than the number of people I've been close to in the last month. Possibly almost two orders of magnitude, if my family held it in my hometown so people would be more able to attend. It's been a rough few months for me, and I'm having trouble making friends in my new city, so most of my time is spent at home alone watching Youube and reading internet forums.

Yes, I know morbidness is not a contest, but I figured I'd let anyone out there know that there are others out there who are suffering and that they're not alone.

[Yael]

I do not intend to be close to my own family, but at least 20 from my family, and around 20~30 from friends, I do have a lot of friends who I hang out with. But that's probably it, I intend to be remembered by at least 20 people, idk, future...

[Rain Dragon]

Well, I don't mind. Hopefully stories of me and things I have done would live on for some time. Maybe people could hold one last big party, but life goes on and I'm not too worried about it. I have wondered if it'd be helpful to write down suggestions at some point for someone but I don't know really.

[Scarlet Knight]

Well, I hope to live really long...so: children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren. I plan to outlive all my friends but hopefully there will be many young mistresses weeping ... then all the people dedicating the statue...

[The Bandicoot]

I don't know, maybe 20-30? I don't have a lot of friends and I don't keep in contact with at least half of my family.

[factotum]

Probably fewer as I get older. I have a fairly large extended family, but I'm not close to my nephews and nieces--the only people I would reasonably expect to attend my funeral are my brothers, sisters, and mother (father died nearly 30 years ago), and since I'm the youngest among those, chances are pretty good some or all will pre-decease me.

[Killer Angel]

I really hope my 2 daughters.
Because otherwise, that would mean that I have witnessed their funeral.

[Fragenstein]

Well. There will be me. I mean, I won't be alive (or at least I hope I won't), but my body will be there. As long as I still have an awesome head of hair and comical underwear of some sort, my presence will be well established.

There will be my cat. I have explicit instructions on that. So that's two. Me and my cat.

Most likely a third person will be present, as well. I mean, it's not like I can actually count on the cat driving himself to the funeral. There's a good chance he'll jump into the box on his own, but that really only seems reliable when I'm trying to keep him OUT of a box. So put down a third person to make sure that the cat is in place.

That third person can probably also kick my box out of the airlock into sub-orbital space. But unless they know how to fly some sort of space-craft, there's going to be a fourth person.

So that's probably my count. 3-4, depending on the skill levels of everyone involved.

[Insane Trystane]

Well. There will be me. I mean, I won't be alive (or at least I hope I won't), but my body will be there. As long as I still have an awesome head of hair and comical underwear of some sort, my presence will be well established.

There will be my cat. I have explicit instructions on that. So that's two. Me and my cat.

Most likely a third person will be present, as well. I mean, it's not like I can actually count on the cat driving himself to the funeral. There's a good chance he'll jump into the box on his own, but that really only seems reliable when I'm trying to keep him OUT of a box. So put down a third person to make sure that the cat is in place.

That third person can probably also kick my box out of the airlock into sub-orbital space. But unless they know how to fly some sort of space-craft, there's going to be a fourth person.

So that's probably my count. 3-4, depending on the skill levels of everyone involved.

I volunteer for cat-wrangling duties. I'm not big on funerals, but I like cats. I'll probably even make up some outlandish stories about alive-you to tell it so it doesn't have to wonder what you were doing when you were away, when you were alive.

[Knaight]

On the thread topic, I'd guess somewhere around 100. There's the extended family, which is fairly large and has a lot of people living nearby. There's friends, and often family of friends that I've known for longer. There's family friends, who are likely to show up because they know other members of my family well even if some are only acquaintances.

I think it depends in part on the circumstances of the death. If someone is killed in their 20s (or younger!) in an accident, or commits suicide, it's pretty hard for the funeral not to be depressing, I imagine. Especially for the parents, or their partner, if they have one. The same goes for anyone "taken before their time". I've been relatively fortunate in that the only people very close to me who've died during my adult life have been old and well past their best - in fact it's generally acknowledged it would have been better for all concerned if at least one of them had gone a couple of years earlier. But even then the parts of the coffin where one interacts with the coffin were still a bit grim, and seeing my dad choke up while he gave the eulogy was still a bit of a shock to the system.

I'd agree with this. I've been to four funerals, two of whom were for elderly relatives - both were sad, but not depressing. The other two were high school classmates, both of whom were teenagers. Those were both really depressing.

[Jay R]

Of ten thousand versions of the question, "How many people would do X for you?", you are asking the only one that cannot affect me at all.

Having said that, I suspect that the answer depends more on whether it's raining than on any other factor.

[Zrak]

I don't know, but hopefully I will be married, so my good wife can dress sexy for the first time in her life.

[Tyndmyr]

If all goes in accordance with the prophecy, none, of course. Anywhere.

[Dire Moose]

If all goes in accordance with the prophecy, none, of course. Anywhere.

You've at least booked a choir to do the Ominous Latin Chanting, I hope.

[Alent]

Probably quite a few, but only a small handful of people I'd call close, and most of those probably wouldn't be able to attend in the first place on account of distance. I do a lot of computer work for people and businesses, which now having thought about it, one of the instructions I leave behind for my funeral will be to put "Do you remember your computer passwords? This would be a bad time to forget them, my line has been disconnected" on the invitations and program.

[Rockphed]

Well, I hope to live really long...so: children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren. I plan to outlive all my friends but hopefully there will be many young mistresses weeping ... then all the people dedicating the statue...

So, do you plan to place the remains of your mortal coil inside the statue, or in another location altogether? I suggest inside, then you can come back as a 60 foot tall, bronze colossus rather than as a simple zombie.

You've at least booked a choir to do the Ominous Latin Chanting, I hope.

Wait, other people need a choir to do the Ominous Latin Chanting? It always just ... resounds around me when ominous things start happening. I thought it was just one of those weird edge cases in the laws of physics.

[McStabbington]

I'm pretty sure no one. I just started a new job, I just moved to a new metro area, my family blamed me for the breakup of my family, and in the last four years I've spoken to . . . five college friends. Seriously, I am not important enough for anyone to attend my funeral. I'm the guy who everyone years the news, scratches their head for a moment, then says "Oh yeah. That's too bad. He seemed nice." And then they go back to talking about their fantasy football teams.

That's my curse: I'm that guy to everyone.

Actually, scratch that. My biological mother and her husband will show up to sponge off any possible sympathy. But no one who cares will make the trip. Largely because there is no such person.

[Maryring]

Y'know. Thinking about it. I have *no* idea how many people will attend my funeral. But now I *do* worry that if I were to drop dead tomorrow, then there'd be no one who'd notice I was dead for.... probably months. That's the frightening thing about living alone.

[tomandtish]

None. Of course, I'm not having a funeral. Arrangements have already been made for my body to go to a medical school. And as I told them, "I don't care what you do with it once you are done as long as my heirs don't have to ever hear about it. So if you have any budding mad scientists, go crazy". (Translation: I do not expect the body or ashes returned to my heirs and they can do what they want with it).

What I have planned for is a wake. And I've stolen a bit from Doonesbury and made my own video. "Live from the Afterlife, it's the Dearly Departed. I'm now here in heaven ... Stop laughing, Al!". That sort of thing. Money has already been set aside for good beer and good BBQ. If it happened today I'd expect about 100 plus a delegation from work.

7, tops. If enough notice is given, and my extended family can make it into town, it jumps to 15-18.

Spoiler: On the morbidity of funerals

Show

Funerals are harsh events for some people, and as pointed out by several people, it really depends on who died. When my great grandpa died, he had lived well past his prime, watched his children and grandchildren grow into adults, and was able to leave his affairs well in order. So, even though it was sad, and there was definitely a mourning period for most of the family, it was recognized as his time.

In contrast, the first day of my Senior year of High School, I went to a funeral to support for a friend whose six-month old nephew had overheated and died in the night the week before. Her whole family was devastated, the blame game was being played, with most of the mother's family blaming the father, to the point of somebody telling him he had no right to be there. It was definitely a very morbid, sordid event.

So, I really think how morbid a funeral is depends heavily on how old the deceased was, and what circumstances they died under.

This is a good point to remember. When a person has had a long full life and passes at a ripe old age, it seems to me that this is something to be celebrated, not mourned.

Spoiler: undefined

Show

I'm 46 and consider myself lucky in the grandparent department. While I only have one now, I didn't lose my first one until I was 39. My Maternal Grandfather died of Leukemia in 2008 at 87. My Paternal Grandmother died of CHF in 2010 at 95. My Paternal Grandfather died in 2012 at 95 of a heart infection. All of them were ill for quite a while before they passed so there was time to prepare. No unexpected calls. And my remaining Grandmother is 91 and going pretty strong.

This makes me different from most of my friends, where even those who are 7-8 years younger than me only had 2 grandparents in 2008, and have fewer now. For many of them, the funerals occurred when their grandparents were in their 50s or 60s. I have one friend who lost all 4 grandparents before he was even born. Now that's tragic.

[Bulldog Psion]

At the moment? 2 for certain, with a possibility of 4 to 5.

[Anarion]

I suspect many of you are underestimating the number. Especially if you died right now at a younger age. Family will travel for that sort of thing, and friends and even acquaintances will come too because it's tragic and there's a sense that the closest loved ones need consolation.

At any rate, if I died just at this moment, I imagine my funeral would have perhaps 30-40 people, though it would depend somewhat how it was announced.

[Jay R]

I'm in the SCA, and most SCA funerals I've seen have had 200-300 people.

That may be the best advertisement for the SCA I've ever seen. It is certainly the most morbid.

[danzibr]

Hrm, that's a tough one. I'm a high school teacher and seem to have good rapport with my students. I imagine a few of them would show up.

Then my family, my wife's family. Some friends. A few dozen, I'd guess.