Funny bits of canon D&D 3.5 lore

[ATHATH]

The most glaring example of the trope: Dudley Do-Right - according to Dragon #48, he's 18th-level Paladin with Permanent Mind Blank and 18/8/19/4/4/21 abilities (the Horse have Int 15)

I think that's for 1st or 2nd edition, though, considering the low issue number.

Why was he made an 18th level character, though? What abilities does he have that are represented by an 18th level Paladin?

[Inevitability]

Make it four with Dalmosh of the Infinite Maw (MM V), who grows a new mouth on his body whenever he loses 20 hit points or more in a single blow!

Don't forget a low-level shaper psion can conjure up some wine and summon this thing basically every day.

[ShurikVch]

I think that's for 1st or 2nd edition, though, considering the low issue number.

1e (April 1981)

Why was he made an 18th level character, though? What abilities does he have that are represented by an 18th level Paladin?

According to the article:

Because of his perfect faith in law and good, Dudley has two god-given abilities - awe power and luck. His awe power causes all persons of 3 HD or under to run in fear (if evil) or trust him implicitly (if good) upon sighting him. Mere mention of his name will cause evildoers to tremble with fear. His luck is such that he will have an 80% chance of bringing in his man, even through the wildest of coincidences (convincing the evildoer or the error of his ways or unwittingly getting him to tunnel into the jail, for example).

[Venger]

Don't forget a low-level shaper psion can conjure up some wine and summon this thing basically every day.

Dalmosh requires a 10kgp pic-a-nic basket to show up to your brunch. I thought fine wine was just 150gp/bottle. Is there more expensive stuff listed somewhere?

I guess you could just make him a giant gross salad of pure saffron.

[Inevitability]

Dalmosh requires a 10kgp pic-a-nic basket to show up to your brunch. I thought fine wine was just 150gp/bottle. Is there more expensive stuff listed somewhere?

I guess you could just make him a giant gross salad of pure saffron.

A bottle of wine weighs 1.5 lb and costs 10 GP. Subtracting the price of a glass bottle, that's 8 GP for 1.5 lb of wine.

Assuming wine has a density similar to water, a ML 3 Psionic Minor Creation's 3 cubic feet get you 187.2 pounds of it. That's nearly 1500 GP worth. In other words, seven manifestations (easily doable as a psion 3) produce the required amount of wine. This takes only seven minutes: more than enough with wine that sticks around for hours.

I may be mistaken, but it seems to me like a cubic foot of saffron would weigh only 8.87 pounds (going by this density) and therefore be worth only 133 GP, meaning a ML 3 psion would need over 25 manifestations to summon up ol' Dally.

[Venger]

A bottle of wine weighs 1.5 lb and costs 10 GP. Subtracting the price of a glass bottle, that's 8 GP for 1.5 lb of wine.

Assuming wine has a density similar to water, a ML 3 Psionic Minor Creation's 3 cubic feet get you 187.2 pounds of it. That's nearly 1500 GP worth. In other words, seven manifestations (easily doable as a psion 3) produce the required amount of wine. This takes only seven minutes: more than enough with wine that sticks around for hours.

I may be mistaken, but it seems to me like a cubic foot of saffron would weigh only 8.87 pounds (going by this density) and therefore be worth only 133 GP, meaning a ML 3 psion would need over 25 manifestations to summon up ol' Dally.

That certainly adds up. Let's make Dalmosh some sangria.

I don't know if saffron has a listed gp cost in the game, I just mentioned it since at least in real life it's more valuable by volume than normal wine is, so you probably wouldn't have to manifest it as many times.

What I want to know is, since this ritual automatically works and summons Dalmosh from wherever he is, does he just eat everyone's snacks really quickly like santa claus, or if I summon him in Breland at noon, and you summon him in Cyre at noon, do we each get a Dalmosh?

[Zombulian]

Also the Tomb Tapper (may not be chest exactly, depending on who's drawing it):



Klurichir

Three, apparently. (Found it: It's from City of Stormreach)

Great. Now I want poptarts.

[Inevitability]

That certainly adds up. Let's make Dalmosh some sangria.

I don't know if saffron has a listed gp cost in the game, I just mentioned it since at least in real life it's more valuable by volume than normal wine is, so you probably wouldn't have to manifest it as many times.

What I want to know is, since this ritual automatically works and summons Dalmosh from wherever he is, does he just eat everyone's snacks really quickly like santa claus, or if I summon him in Breland at noon, and you summon him in Cyre at noon, do we each get a Dalmosh?

Saffron does actually have a listed cost of 15 GP/pound.

Dalmosh seems to be an unique being, so I'm reasonably sure it wouldn't appear in two places at once.

Of course, that does make it an expensive-but-easy way of communication. Summon Dalmosh, mark it somehow, have whoever you want to receive the message summon it. Maybe let a disposable third party perform a final summon afterwards to make sure the fiend ends up somewhere it can rampage safely.

[Venger]

Saffron does actually have a listed cost of 15 GP/pound.

Dalmosh seems to be an unique being, so I'm reasonably sure it wouldn't appear in two places at once.

Of course, that does make it an expensive-but-easy way of communication. Summon Dalmosh, mark it somehow, have whoever you want to receive the message summon it. Maybe let a disposable third party perform a final summon afterwards to make sure the fiend ends up somewhere it can rampage safely.

So it does. Man prices for stuff in this game are messed up.

While that's one way of looking at it, the ritual to summon him is presumably magical, since it can summon him anyplace no matter where he is, and there's no proviso saying it fails if he's tied up or something. Like with summons, it may be possible to have more than one Dalmosh, but like you said, even if there's but one Dalmosh, there are still a lot of possibilities.

Dalmosh is a reliable means of smuggling before you get access to teleportation circles.

Any campaign that introduces Dalmosh automatically becomes more interesting.

[remetagross]

And that day, the company Dalmoshenger was created ! :D

[Inevitability]

You know, Dalmosh only has 5 dexterity and a touch AC of 3. A Shivering Touch has a 93% chance of incapacitating him for several hours: even a Lesser one still works 31.7% of the time. A source of ability drain is even better, as Dalmosh can't restore it.

Once incapacitated that way, he can be summoned safely anywhere. One could just load him with trade goods and begin summoning. There's no weight limit on what Dalmosh can take with him, so I assume you could overencumber him and it'll still all be taken along.

...Now I want to play a campaign where Dalmosh has become a giant transportation vessel, carrying goods and people alike between psion-manned stations.

[Âmesang]

According to the SPELLJAMMER^® supplement, "Realmspace," Elminster of Shadowdale has his own miniature space station orbiting the planet, Coliar. Besides being filled with a number of rare and powerful personal belongings Elminster's Hideout also contains portals to other lands and areas… including Ed Greenwood's house on Earth.

This is the way in which Elminster has pestered him for the last 15 years, and to this day, continues to hassle the poor man with his incredibly long stories and demands for "more German beer" and "can I use that hot water spout doohickey, again?"

…also makes for a good meeting place between himself, Mordenkainen of the Circle of Eight, and Dalamar the Dark.

---

One of the books points out that your mount may well have a higher INT than you. It tells the tale of a paladin who, though loyal and brave, is actually less intelligent than her horse. It notes: "How embarrassing. What will all the other warhorses think?" I can't remember which book, though.

So female Dudley Do-Right?

EDIT: Seems I've been ninja'd. That's what I get for leaving the window open for [U]hours[/U before finally replying.

[Venger]

And that day, the company Dalmoshenger was created ! :D

lol

You know, Dalmosh only has 5 dexterity and a touch AC of 3. A Shivering Touch has a 93% chance of incapacitating him for several hours: even a Lesser one still works 31.7% of the time. A source of ability drain is even better, as Dalmosh can't restore it.

Once incapacitated that way, he can be summoned safely anywhere. One could just load him with trade goods and begin summoning. There's no weight limit on what Dalmosh can take with him, so I assume you could overencumber him and it'll still all be taken along.

...Now I want to play a campaign where Dalmosh has become a giant transportation vessel, carrying goods and people alike between psion-manned stations.

I like where your head's at, but I must draw your attention to his intelligence which is a whopping 4. a ray of stupidity will put him to sleep in one hit 50% of the time, and even if it takes 2 applications of it, it's one level cheaper than shivering touch and can be done at a range without metamagic, so you have a significantly lower risk of Dalmosh eating you while you're poking his foot.

Plus it renders him unconscious instead of merely paralyzed, which is more humane and will make it easier for you to put stuff in his mouths.

Encumbrance aside, you can make use of his tummy dimension if you run out of room. If he's not going to try to chew you up and digest you, hopping in there isn't as big of a deal.

I also want to play this game. This is what the rakshasas who rule Dalmosh's tummy are actually getting up to in the outside world. Running a successful trade and transport industry.

[The Viscount]

Githyanki of above level 16 are exceptionally rare because their lich queen ruler typically kills any that rise to this level.

We all know that githyanki fighter/wizards called gishes are the origin of the term, but did you know that multiclass Githzerai are called zerths?

[Malimar]

Everything related to Giant Space Hamsters, especially Woolly Rupert, the Giant Space Hamster of Ill Omen. Saying his name will make any gnome cower in fear, doesn't help that he doesn't have any stats like the Lady of Pain, just a vague description of his abilities(Like having arcane casting).

Wooly Rupert the Tyrannohamstersaurus of Ill Omen.

(My Spelljammer game is going to face him on Sunday. Not knowing anything about him but his name, I statted him up as a Kaiju Giant Hamster. They're not gonna be able to dent him as it is, arcane casting would just be overkill.)

[Thurbane]

Githyanki of above level 16 are exceptionally rare because their lich queen ruler typically kills any that rise to this level.

This has always fascinated me. I guess it means that when they get towards level 16, Githyanki either start crafting magic items like crazy; make out with succubi; multiclass enough to that they never earn XP; retire to a tulip farm on the Astral and try to avoid any activities that are likely to bring XP; or just go full kamikaze, sitting on kegs of flash powder and alchemists fire covered in explosive runes awaiting their royal visit.

[Venger]

This has always fascinated me. I guess it means that when they get towards level 16, Githyanki either start crafting magic items like crazy; make out with succubi; multiclass enouigh to that they never earn XP; retire to a tulip farm on the Astral and try to avoid any activities that are likely to being XP; or just go full kamikaze, sitting on kegs of flash powder and alchemists fire covered in explosive runes awaiting their royal visit.

well this is my next campaign

[Vizzerdrix]

well this is my next campaign

A game where you have to find a way to NOT level up while politely declining dinner invitations with your lich queen? I love it!

[Venger]

A game where you have to find a way to NOT level up while politely declining dinner invitations with your lich queen? I love it!

it'd be like sonic 2xl, where you try to get enough xp to move forward and stay on point, but not too much, or you are summarily executed.

[Particle_Man]

One of the books points out that your mount may well have a higher INT than you. It tells the tale of a paladin who, though loyal and brave, is actually less intelligent than her horse. It notes: "How embarrassing. What will all the other warhorses think?" I can't remember which book, though.

Also, of course, intelligent magical swords are often smarter than the fighters that wield them. There was a dragonmirth cartoon to that effect (someone consoling a fighter with such a sword).

[danielxcutter]

Also, of course, intelligent magical swords are often smarter than the fighters that wield them. There was a dragonmirth cartoon to that effect (someone consoling a fighter with such a sword).

Funny, one of the webcomics I read features an ego sword, which only has the power to talk to other people(and expose a person's mind to extreme profanity if they're not the owner), but has lots of experience and gives the protagonist advice now and then. It's a Korean webcomic called Heromaker, unrelated to D&D, but related to the topic of intelligent magic swords.

[Jeff the Green]

What... seriously? The guy who wrote that must have been a serious Narnia fan.

Who isn't? I have serious problems with some of the ideology contained therein (and it's best if I don't further elaborate), but I still have a big soft spot for them, more than Tolkien.

[Thurbane]

On the food related theme, I've been reading through Ghostwalk over the last couple of days.

There's a NPC (Medusa) called...Saag Paneer. I kid you not.



Now, I love Indian food (there is an awesome little place around the corner from me; they do an amazing gobi entree), so this instantly made me chuckle. I wonder if the writers were working back late one night to meet a deadline, were eying off the Indian take-out menu, and had run out of ideas for naming the characters in the book?

[danielxcutter]

On the food related theme, I've been reading through Ghostwalk over the last couple of days.

There's a NPC (Medusa) called...Saag Paneer. I kid you not.



Now, I love Indian food (there is an awesome little place around the corner from me; they do an amazing gobi entree), so this instantly made me chuckle. I wonder if the writers were working back late one night to meet a deadline, were eying off the Indian take-out menu, and had run out of ideas for naming the characters in the book?

They named a medusa after a fudging curry?!

[The Viscount]

Ghost-faced Killer is a mediocre prestige class that is for whatever reason, named after a member of Wu-Tang Clan. Every year that passes the reference becomes more dated, and I laugh a little harder.

Juiblex is also known as the Faceless Lord, but due to poor copy editing he is sometimes called Jubilex or, on at least one occasion, Jubiblex.

Medusae that take exotic weapon proficiency can use a unique and ridiculous weapon, the snake chain. It's a chain tied to the snakes that is a reach weapon, and can trip. Do the snakes pull or does a medusa just yank its head back? Either way, it's hilarious.

[Gildedragon]

This has always fascinated me. I guess it means that when they get towards level 16, Githyanki either start crafting magic items like crazy; make out with succubi; multiclass enough to that they never earn XP; retire to a tulip farm on the Astral and try to avoid any activities that are likely to bring XP; or just go full kamikaze, sitting on kegs of flash powder and alchemists fire covered in explosive runes awaiting their royal visit.

Hmmm gris prolly ought mean one ought get githcraft +1 weapons and armor at below-cost.

"How much to help you craft items? I'll cover the XP costs" All Lvl 15 Githyanki

[Inevitability]

They named a medusa after a fudging curry?!

Can I sig this?

[danielxcutter]

Can I sig this?

Of course you can. It would be a great honor.

[Pex]

In second edition crows had a 10% chance with every attack to cause the loss of your characters eye. This was "Because of their intelligence" even though they had an int of 1.

In 2E dolphins had Lawful Good alignment and Intelligence 11, i. e. smarter than the average human.

In 3E, the Identify spell requires, along with the pearl, an owl feather dipped in a glass of wine which must then be drunk. In Book Of Exalted Deeds, the Celestial Mystic prestige class has the prerequisite Exalted feat Vow of Abstinence, meaning they may not drink alcoholic beverages. Therefore, the holy wizards of Celestial Mystics may never cast the Identify spell.

[ATHATH]

Juiblex is also known as the Faceless Lord, but due to poor copy editing he is sometimes called Jubilex or, on at least one occasion, Jubiblex.

Wait, his name ISN'T Jubilex? And Juiblex is male?

It kind of reminds me of that slime deity from... shoot, I can't remember what game (probably Nethack or ADOM). Anyway, his (her?) name would change on a run-by-run basis (or was it every time that it was mentioned?), because the forms of slimes eternally shift.