LGBTAI+ #59: Will You Take This Woman To Be Your Galpal?

[AuthorGirl]

Hello i have just realized that i am non binary

Hey, that's awesome! Do you mind if I ask how you figured that out?

[137beth]

Hello i have just realized that i am non binary

Congratulations on your realization! It can be hard for a lot of people to come to.

[Heliomance]

I'm doing pretty well. I be an amazing girlfriend that I'm sickeningly in love with, my brother and his wife have moved out (don't get me wrong, I like them both, but we are incompatible housemates and it was doing bad things to my mental health), and I have a final stage interview on Monday that if all goes well will let me move up north like I've been wanting to for months. I have friends, a decent social life, and overall my life is pretty great right now.

[super dark33]

Hey, that's awesome! Do you mind if I ask how you figured that out?

Sure!

For the longest time i always had this underlying sense that i never really like how """gender""" functions in society, and by the time i discovered what non-binaryness means i was already well into ending my teenage years and have been living in a 100% bknary gendered language (hebrew) so i dismissed these feelings as mere doubt or part of my overall depression to ignore.

For the last few years i legit started thinking about myself in terms of gender and while i still hated the binary i was way too comfy with being Male and percieved as such to consider otherwise.

A few days ago i saw a post from a person asking if its valid to be enby while still wantjng to present 100% femme with she/her pronouns and the positive responses helped everything click in my brain.


Basically i like all pronouns with preference to neutral ones.



The biggest hurdle was language, but its not like im gonna come out to my immidiate surrounding, heh.

[noparlpf]

Sent in a petition to change my surname and the form they sent back uses "his/her/their" wherever there's a pronoun.

[Sahe]

I'm soon starting a job. I'm out there all for the world to see with a nametag that reads my name. My bosses have been good so far in the talks and very forthcoming (I can take my Uniform with and dress at home and can avoid the whole changing room situation that way)

Other than that I'm kinda suffering from lovesickness and lonelyness lately and wondering if I'm poly, because I'm more or less hard crushing on like...5 people rn...could just be my hormones tho.

@AuthorGirl: I'm sorry for your loss and your situation.

[SilentNight]

Hi all, just popping in to say a great big thanks. I came out to a select few people in my life a few years ago after at least a decade of questioning, but was still a little unsure since I really only had experience dating the opposite sex. Long story short, I've had a lot of validating experiences as a queer man as of late and am feeling super confident and comfortable, so thank you all for building such a wonderful community to help me through that journey. Much love.

[Florian]

Some inspirational stuff. This link leads to an article about 1st generation trans people and how they have aged and are happy with their transition. Run it thru google translate as usual.
https://www.zeit.de/zeit-magazin/201...essa-fabbre-fs

[golentan]

Hi folks. I stopped coming here for a while, but I found myself missing the playground and figured I'd poke my head in and say hi, and maybe get in the habit of checking back in regularly.

[sneakykitten]

Being trans and gender fluid wrecked my life. If I were born as a girl ppls wouldn't hate and despise me. If I were born as a girl they would treat me the way I wanna be treated and see me the way I see myself. Yet they don't and never will. I have to get a costly, traumatic surgery just to live the life I need to live. Or else I am gonna drown in all my sorrows and never recover.

[CWater]

Being trans and gender fluid wrecked my life. If I were born as a girl ppls wouldn't hate and despise me. If I were born as a girl they would treat me the way I wanna be treated and see me the way I see myself. Yet they don't and never will. I have to get a costly, traumatic surgery just to live the life I need to live. Or else I am gonna drown in all my sorrows and never recover.

*hugs* It sucks.

[Lycunadari]

In my family we frequently swap clothes around - brother wore my grandpa's suit to his wedding, I have old skirts from my mom and my brother's old winter jacket, a close family friend recently got several of my late grandma's dresses, etc. This led to a cute conversation between my mom and me yesterday
Mom:"You need to find a boyfriend who can wear this old pink dress of mine because I doubt it will ever fit me again and it's not your or [sister]'s style."
Me: "Boyfriend?"
Mom: "Or girlfriend. Having some boobs would be necessary for the dress to fit properly, I guess."
Me: "Well, push-up bras and such are always an option~"

I'm honestly not even surprised that my mom's first thought for "person to wear a dress" was "guy who likes dresses" and not "girl", considering any partner of mine would have to be very queer, and my sister's girlfriend would never voluntarily wear a dress.

[CWater]

In my family we frequently swap clothes around - brother wore my grandpa's suit to his wedding, I have old skirts from my mom and my brother's old winter jacket, a close family friend recently got several of my late grandma's dresses, etc. This led to a cute conversation between my mom and me yesterday
Mom:"You need to find a boyfriend who can wear this old pink dress of mine because I doubt it will ever fit me again and it's not your or [sister]'s style."
Me: "Boyfriend?"
Mom: "Or girlfriend. Having some boobs would be necessary for the dress to fit properly, I guess."
Me: "Well, push-up bras and such are always an option~"

I'm honestly not even surprised that my mom's first thought for "person to wear a dress" was "guy who likes dresses" and not "girl", considering any partner of mine would have to be very queer, and my sister's girlfriend would never voluntarily wear a dress.

That's quite adorable

[137beth]

I bought falsies online yesterday. Waiting anxiously for them to arrive.

[sneakykitten]

*hugs* It sucks.

/me hugs.

Thx. I just feel so tired that living the way I am makes ppls get in my face. I'm gonna get beaten up by cops or something eventually. Grr. Sighs.

[Iethloc]

Hey, all. It's been quite some time since I've posted on these forums, though I've been reading stuff here pretty regularly. A lot has happened, much of it negative, but still some positive stuff. I don't really want to compress almost a year's worth of stuff into one post, but there are some things I want to talk about with someone who's had similar experiences. Not all of it is LGBTAI+ related, but some of it is so I'd feel more comfortable seeking support here. I've been trying to process some neglect and violence from my early childhood, along with the severe mental illnesses (specifically schizophrenia and OCD) that began around that time, and how it relates to the way I process my gender and sexuality. I know that's pretty broad, but if anyone has personal experience with that sort of stuff, or experience helping others deal with it, I would appreciate being able to talk through private messages or other private means.

[JNAProductions]

Hey, all. It's been quite some time since I've posted on these forums, though I've been reading stuff here pretty regularly. A lot has happened, much of it negative, but still some positive stuff. I don't really want to compress almost a year's worth of stuff into one post, but there are some things I want to talk about with someone who's had similar experiences. Not all of it is LGBTAI+ related, but some of it is so I'd feel more comfortable seeking support here. I've been trying to process some neglect and violence from my early childhood, along with the severe mental illnesses (specifically schizophrenia and OCD) that began around that time, and how it relates to the way I process my gender and sexuality. I know that's pretty broad, but if anyone has personal experience with that sort of stuff, or experience helping others deal with it, I would appreciate being able to talk through private messages or other private means.

I do not have much experience with... Well, any of that. But you have my sympathies, and I hope life starts going better for you! *Offers hugs*

Good luck.

[sneakykitten]

Hey, all. It's been quite some time since I've posted on these forums, though I've been reading stuff here pretty regularly. A lot has happened, much of it negative, but still some positive stuff. I don't really want to compress almost a year's worth of stuff into one post, but there are some things I want to talk about with someone who's had similar experiences. Not all of it is LGBTAI+ related, but some of it is so I'd feel more comfortable seeking support here. I've been trying to process some neglect and violence from my early childhood, along with the severe mental illnesses (specifically schizophrenia and OCD) that began around that time, and how it relates to the way I process my gender and sexuality. I know that's pretty broad, but if anyone has personal experience with that sort of stuff, or experience helping others deal with it, I would appreciate being able to talk through private messages or other private means.

I have experiences dealing with OCD, psychotic symptoms, and gender stuffs. Hit me up whenever if you wanna.

[golentan]

Hey, all. It's been quite some time since I've posted on these forums, though I've been reading stuff here pretty regularly. A lot has happened, much of it negative, but still some positive stuff. I don't really want to compress almost a year's worth of stuff into one post, but there are some things I want to talk about with someone who's had similar experiences. Not all of it is LGBTAI+ related, but some of it is so I'd feel more comfortable seeking support here. I've been trying to process some neglect and violence from my early childhood, along with the severe mental illnesses (specifically schizophrenia and OCD) that began around that time, and how it relates to the way I process my gender and sexuality. I know that's pretty broad, but if anyone has personal experience with that sort of stuff, or experience helping others deal with it, I would appreciate being able to talk through private messages or other private means.

I've dealt with schizoaffective disorder my whole adult life. There's a fair bit of overlap. If I can help, ask away.

[Iethloc]

I hate to back out right now, but an urgent medical issue has just arisen that I need to prioritize. I will talk about it here once I have some more information, which could take a while. Thank you for the offers of support, and the support I've gotten in the past.

[JusticeZero]

Experienced a mildly traumatic assault attempt at work the other day. Mildly. Took a few days to get over it anyways. So I am looking for a change of career now so I can stop having to worry about that happening again.

Very frustrated because I am simultaneously overqualified for everything and underqualified for anything. Trying to figure out career resources, ugh. Having very little luck explaining to people how high 'portability of career' ranks on shoring up the bottom of Maslow's Pyramid for me, so they need to please stop trying to talk about ultimate job fulfillment if it's not addressing that piece.

"Oh, but wouldn't you rather have a job that makes you feel fulfilled?"
"If it means having to work in some oddball job opening that only exists in a couple of red states with no ability to relocate on short notice? No."
"Error, does not compute! Wouldn't you rather have a job that makes you feel fulfilled?"
"*sigh*"

[golentan]

Experienced a mildly traumatic assault attempt at work the other day. Mildly. Took a few days to get over it anyways. So I am looking for a change of career now so I can stop having to worry about that happening again.

Very frustrated because I am simultaneously overqualified for everything and underqualified for anything. Trying to figure out career resources, ugh. Having very little luck explaining to people how high 'portability of career' ranks on shoring up the bottom of Maslow's Pyramid for me, so they need to please stop trying to talk about ultimate job fulfillment if it's not addressing that piece.

"Oh, but wouldn't you rather have a job that makes you feel fulfilled?"
"If it means having to work in some oddball job opening that only exists in a couple of red states with no ability to relocate on short notice? No."
"Error, does not compute! Wouldn't you rather have a job that makes you feel fulfilled?"
"*sigh*"

Ugh, with you on that. I have a career I actually like, and people keep trying to not so subtly tell me I should be unhappy with it because it's in some way "beneath me."

I just want a job that makes me feel like I'm doing something meaningful and doesn't make me want to jump in front of a bus, and this is the thing that lets me meet my own needs.

[sneakykitten]

I'm gonna be honest: I don't like my life. I had more fun doing a dead end job that was highly unsafe... because? I dunno. I love my friends, here and offline. I love the staff at the building, and counselors, and even the helpful... c-cops. I just don't love myself. And I can't make myself love myself. So like... what's up with this constant deep depression that goes to happiness and up and down all day? Like I go from really loving and trusting the world to feeling so sad I wanna disappear. It has nothing to do with transition. It's like my brain is exploding from stress and sadness and moodiness and something is missing? I dunno what's missing from my life?

[Kesnit]

And I can't make myself love myself. So like... what's up with this constant deep depression that goes to happiness and up and down all day? Like I go from really loving and trusting the world to feeling so sad I wanna disappear. It has nothing to do with transition. It's like my brain is exploding from stress and sadness and moodiness and something is missing? I dunno what's missing from my life?

Have you ever taken anti-depressants? If not, start there. If you are already on them, it sounds like they aren't working for you and you need to change dosage and/or brand.

[sneakykitten]

Have you ever taken anti-depressants? If not, start there. If you are already on them, it sounds like they aren't working for you and you need to change dosage and/or brand.

I am on them they may not be working. The only medicine that feels like it 'works' I'm taking right now is quietiapine, seroquel, whatevs. And the side effects were making it difficult to become fully awake or walk around. Do I really wanna have a working anti-depressant with side effects or is there some way to stop hating my life naturally?

A-Anyone? Ah ha ha.

[jwhouk]

Is location not an issue? Because I have a suspicion that the typical lack of sunlight in your neck of the woods probably isn't helping.

[Recherché]

I've had similar problems with anti-depressants making me a zombie with no creativity or motivation. For me not being on SSRIs ended up being a better choice because while I may have to deal with more depression and anxiety symptoms, I actually have the drive to get out there and do stuff and to take better care of myself, including therapy. To each their own though, for some people anti-depressants are lifesavers.

[Recherché]

Is location not an issue? Because I have a suspicion that the typical lack of sunlight in your neck of the woods probably isn't helping.

Eh Spokane? I used to live there, and lack of sunlight is not an issue. Spokane is on the other side of the state from Seattle and the weather is less rainy Seattle and more like the Midwest. Probably because Spokane is much closer to Idaho than Seattle.

[jwhouk]

The remoteness can't be helpful, either, I'd think.

[Recherché]

The remoteness can't be helpful, either, I'd think.

Spokane is not a tiny town either. It's around 200,00 people. Sure it's not that close to any other large cities but it's also not rural.