Destro Yersul's Dangerously Distracting and Doubtlessly Disturbing Random Banter #103

[dish]

I think I've got it. I need chocolate.

BUT WE DON'T HAVE ANY!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Must... think... of... distraction...

The Top Gear test track has no shops?

[Edge]

No.

Damnit, I should ask for certain luxuries. I mean, I've already died for them once. What else do they want?

[Oregano]

Random question if two people were wearing golden armour and using golden swords, would they break?

It's not actually random, it's for story I'm mapping out in my head.

[DraPrime]

Random question if two people were wearing golden armour and using golden swords, would they break?

It's not actually random, it's for story I'm mapping out in my head.

More likely to bend and dent very easily. Also, don't forget that gold is really heavy, and so these two people will get extremely tired while fighting in it. It might even be impossible to get up if one of them falls down.

[Jibar]

Why am I cute!?

It's a lovely thing to say and I know I blush like hell whenever people say it, but why is it whenever I talk about my feelings for someone whoever's listening tends to go "Awww" and insist on hugging me. Again, not complaining, but I tell filthy horrible jokes and swear far more than necessary, so how am I cute at all?

It makes no sense.

[CurlyKitGirl]

No.

Damnit, I should ask for certain luxuries. I mean, I've already died for them once. What else do they want?

For you to be Top Gear's Stunt Man too? To be easy to assemble and able to win in a 24hr endurance race?

And I'm very happy now. Sea Shanty Friend just phoned me and it seems that in 2009 they're making a new series of Red Dwarf. Off to check it out; fingers crossed.

[randman22222]

Why am I cute!?

It's a lovely thing to say and I know I blush like hell whenever people say it, but why is it whenever I talk about my feelings for someone whoever's listening tends to go "Awww" and insist on hugging me. Again, not complaining, but I tell filthy horrible jokes and swear far more than necessary, so how am I cute at all?

It makes no sense.

The hair.

I wish people thought I was cute.

[Oregano]

More likely to bend and dent very easily. Also, don't forget that gold is really heavy, and so these two people will get extremely tired while fighting in it. It might even be impossible to get up if one of them falls down.

Ahh thanks, it was worth asking instead of making a really silly mistake, it could still pop up though.

[Edge]

For you to be Top Gear's Stunt Man too? To be easy to assemble and able to win in a 24hr endurance race?

You know what, they do ask too much of me. I quit. My twice-removed cousin can have his job back.

That's as long as he doesn-

[DraPrime]

Why am I cute!?

It's a lovely thing to say and I know I blush like hell whenever people say it, but why is it whenever I talk about my feelings for someone whoever's listening tends to go "Awww" and insist on hugging me. Again, not complaining, but I tell filthy horrible jokes and swear far more than necessary, so how am I cute at all?

It makes no sense.

Well because those moments when you don't make filthy jokes and swear happen to coincide with whenever you talk about your feelings. Or at least that's the most probable thing.

[Phase]

You know what, they do ask too much of me. I quit. My twice-removed cousin can have his job back.

That's as long as he doesn-

Damn. That's the fourt playgrounder we've lost this week. Oh well...

[Edge]

Urgh...

I'm ok. Just.

I had to fight him off with... well, I'd rather not go there.

But oddly enough, my clothing is now all grey.

[Dallas-Dakota]

Why am I cute!?

It's a lovely thing to say and I know I blush like hell whenever people say it, but why is it whenever I talk about my feelings for someone whoever's listening tends to go "Awww" and insist on hugging me. Again, not complaining, but I tell filthy horrible jokes and swear far more than necessary, so how am I cute at all?

It makes no sense.

I am viciously wondering that about me as well...

[Lyesmith]

Ah well. It could be worse. I once got a job because the guy who had it last got kidnapped by some guy called Candlejack appar

[Dr. Bath]

Phew. Thank goodness no one ever thinks I'm cute. I really dodged a bullet there it seems, from your reactions.

Nooo! Aziraphale! Damn you Candlejack! Damn y-

[ColonelFuster]

Did candle jack just get mentioned in t

[Phase]

No! It's an epidemic! Everyone! Stop saying Candlejack! Stop say-

[Edge]

What is this "Candlejack" of which everyone speaks?

[DraPrime]

Can anybody tell me who Candle Jack is? Anybody? Anyone at

[Lyesmith]

If you say "Candlejack" you get ki

[CurlyKitGirl]

Apparently, that man was/is a character from some comic whose only appearance was of him killing someone before they finished talking about him.
So naturally, the internet says that anyone who says his name gets killed before they can finish their sentence.

So saying that name will get you killed quickly.

On another, non - guaranteed - to - get - you - killed - note: I've become entirely apathetic to French homework. I don't do any of the hard stuff on the day it's due in, but rather do it a few days later and hand it in.
I never revise for test until half an hour before them and I always get good marks. Or at least non - failing ones.
And for the shorter ones I either do them just before they're due in (ie in the nearest free) or copy parts and do some on my own.
Oh, and I have never actually done a listening homework on my own, let alone actually at home.
Quite proud of that in a lazy way.

Phew, no Candlejac

[Lyesmith]

actually no, Candlejack kidnap-

[Edge]

*casts warding against that guy*

Hopefully, that will solve the problem.

[Oregano]

Random question if two people were wearing golden armour and using golden swords, would they break?

It's not actually random, it's for story I'm mapping out in my head.

Same question as before except substitute gold for silver and/or platinum.

[Dr. Bath]

The problems with gold are that it is soft and heavy, rather than easily breakable. Gold armours would be fairly useless unless it has a really low carat.

Silver is again not that strong, light or hard... so again pretty crummy armour or sword.

I don't know about platinum, but I doubt it would be much good, too heavy you see.

[Thanatos 51-50]

Wait - I don't get it.
Who is this Candlejack fellow?

[Oregano]

I thought as much bath, but I never really thought of gold as that heavy.

Thanks anyway.

[DraPrime]

I thought as much bath, but I never really thought of gold as that heavy.

Thanks anyway.

Gold is more dense than lead. An entire suit of it would be painful. Likewise with platinum.

[Oregano]

Never knew that, Palladium's still really heavy isn't it? Otherwise it would be perfect for what I want.

EDIT: Well not perfect, far from it, but suitable enough maybe.

[Dr. Bath]

What, may I ask, is it suitable enough for? You've tickled my tonsils of curiosity. (different to regular ones)

Also: Vote for the Graham Crackers and Chocolate Party in Ultimate Election. The GCCP is forging a future of prosperity and biscuits.
*points to sig*