Kneenibble's Knack for Knightly Knickers: a Knell for Random Banter #184

[Mercenary Pen]

Last night I was engaged in deadly, manly combat with a large insect of unknown origin that I had never seen before.

After valiantly slaying the creature with a Bioshock 2 player's guide (leaving it's body surprisingly intact, I only squished its chest and knocked out one leg) I studied it, and have come to the conclusion that it was a Crane Fly. As someone who is afraid of bugs, this was a grand expierance, to say the least.

Crane Flies are annoying in my experience... as somebody who sees them quite regularly during the autumn months.

[Teddy]

Last night I was engaged in deadly, manly combat with a large insect of unknown origin that I had never seen before.

After valiantly slaying the creature with a Bioshock 2 player's guide (leaving it's body surprisingly intact, I only squished its chest and knocked out one leg) I studied it, and have come to the conclusion that it was a Crane Fly. As someone who is afraid of bugs, this was a grand expierance, to say the least.

Aww, but those are cute. And funny to play with because their clumsy flying make them so easy to catch.

[/total disregard for others' phobias]

[LaZodiac]

Crane Flies are annoying in my experience... as somebody who sees them quite regularly during the autumn months.

I feel your pain, though only slightly.

Aww, but those are cute. And funny to play with because their clumsy flying make them so easy to catch.

[/total disregard for others' phobias]

I do admit it was kind of cute, but as my (disregarded ) phobia shows, I can not suffer a bug to live. I was armed with a can of compressed air and a player's guide and spent about 20 minutes (give or take) hunting it about my room. When I had finally thought I got it, slaying it with the cold, deadly air of the compressed air shot, I went back to my bed, but a chance sight saw it hiding behind my door. It was slain with a Back Stab, clearly I am a rogue of some sort.

Sorry about killing something you find cute though, I understand that kind of sadness.

If you must blame anyone, blame Pinkhair, he told me based on its description at the time that it was a cockroach of some sort.

[Kneenibble]

Oh dear... I hope you're alright and that nothing terrible has happened.
Hopefully the adorableness of this short comic will make you feel better:
(Note, it is a rather large image.)

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Unfortunately, not everything can be solved with adorable pictures.

And another funny picture because I can...
(Also a large image.)

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I thank you, dear Elemental, once again for your kindness. In exchange, I offer you this picture I drew of Mabel sitting on my friend's shoulder:

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Your first picture there is quite appropriate, actually. I had been struggling to finish a presentation to give in class on Wednesday morning, and wound up having to stay up all night to finish it. The whole frustrating time through I felt so foolish, incompetent, and useless.

The presentation went fine, and I've had a chance to sleep, but holy smokes that was a dark, dark night.

AUCK EW AUGH POISON WHY WHAT AUGH GIVE A MAN A PONY WARNING.

That one is good. Post more pictures like that one!

Knee, whatever is the bother that ails you? May it go jump in a pit of nonexistance, if it is a bother you wish was not, and may it become well and wise if it is a friendly acquaintance merely being unintentionally migrainable. I tried. Is that all that matters? SONATA ARTICA AT NIGHT Y??

I enjoy the way you have written this thing, Ovis. *pets wool* & I thank you too for your kindness.

My struggle is trying to do classes after a few years away and while working full-time. I feel like it should not be as hard as it is, which leads to feelings of shame and inadequacy.

I never realized ponies needed a trigger warning.

Was Oedipus's mom (Iocasta) a milf?

Tee hee hee. I bet she was a smoking hot cougar.

Thanks! I'm super excited to start and especially the getting more money to support my family.

What kind of work do you do, anyways?

I do admit it was kind of cute, but as my (disregarded ) phobia shows, I can not suffer a bug to live. I was armed with a can of compressed air and a player's guide and spent about 20 minutes (give or take) hunting it about my room. When I had finally thought I got it, slaying it with the cold, deadly air of the compressed air shot, I went back to my bed, but a chance sight saw it hiding behind my door. It was slain with a Back Stab, clearly I am a rogue of some sort.

Sorry about killing something you find cute though, I understand that kind of sadness.

If you must blame anyone, blame Pinkhair, he told me based on its description at the time that it was a cockroach of some sort.

The honourable Pinkhair, for his numerous virtues, does not know how unlikely we Canadians are to suffer cockroaches! We lack his deadly heat which encourages them.

*hugs* I cannot understand the fear of bugs; I am like unto Teddy, and will speak to the bugs I find in my house words of welcome. I cannot say I would feel the same towards cockroaches, though. The hissing... Amnesia: The Dark Descent flashbacks... nnngh

[Cobra_Ikari]

I think I could suffer crane flies...they apparently eat mosquitos, and I am perfectly fine with anything that does that.

...cockroaches, though...*shudders*...you say Canadia is free of them? *begins the long journey north to the promised lands*

[LaZodiac]

The honourable Pinkhair, for his numerous virtues, does not know how unlikely we Canadians are to suffer cockroaches! We lack his deadly heat which encourages them.

*hugs* I cannot understand the fear of bugs; I am like unto Teddy, and will speak to the bugs I find in my house words of welcome. I cannot say I would feel the same towards cockroaches, though. The hissing... Amnesia: The Dark Descent flashbacks... nnngh

I'll be honest, some bugs I like. But this new, strange bug that just flew into my life like some wild, flying spider thing, scared the crap out of me, so it had to die.

[Amidus Drexel]

Aww, but those are cute. And funny to play with because their clumsy flying make them so easy to catch.

[/total disregard for others' phobias]

I don't see them very often, but they are rather slow... Mosquitoes are easy to catch too, if not quite nearly as nice to have around.

I tend to have a problem with stinkbugs, which get in at some point (I would assume the summer, as that is when there are windows open for them to enter) and then show up mid-fall or during winter. They don't really cause any problems, but the spiders I refuse to let outside have yet to eat any, as far as I can tell.

[Kneenibble]

I think I could suffer crane flies...they apparently eat mosquitos, and I am perfectly fine with anything that does that.

...cockroaches, though...*shudders*...you say Canadia is free of them? *begins the long journey north to the promised lands*

I do not know that we are altogether free of them. I only know that they are not a pernicious plague here as they are in warmer places, because they cannot survive outdoors. I, at least, have never seen one ever -- and I have been in some pretty skanky dives.

It is also why we budgies have not overtaken the nation: for while we are numerous, and greedy for land, the harsh winters confine us to the cages of our "owners." But if climate change persists, then we will soon enslave the polite humans to cast our bells, craft our mirrors, and toil in our vast fields of millet.

That is not to say, however, that you ought not emigrate hither. I think you will find that many subjects of the Dominion would give you sincere welcome, with the traditional mugs of warm maple syrup, poutine, and a prize tree to chop down and do with what you will.

I'll be honest, some bugs I like. But this new, strange bug that just flew into my life like some wild, flying spider thing, scared the crap out of me, so it had to die.

What if the crane fly only wanted to cuddle? What if it was attracted to the lustrous gloss of your hair, an admirer? What if rapacious sparrows had chased it into hiding, a refugee?

I don't see them very often, but they are rather slow... Mosquitoes are easy to catch too, if not quite nearly as nice to have around.

I tend to have a problem with stinkbugs, which get in at some point (I would assume the summer, as that is when there are windows open for them to enter) and then show up mid-fall or during winter. They don't really cause any problems, but the spiders I refuse to let outside have yet to eat any, as far as I can tell.

Stinkbugs are an acquired taste for most spiders.

[Kyrian]

What kind of work do you do, anyways?

Retail. GameStop specifically.



And apparently Babysitting. People keep leaving their kids in the store.

[Asta Kask]

Tee hee hee. I bet she was a smoking hot cougar.

She would have been... 35? 40? If Oedipus was 20-ish. Right?

[factotum]

*hugs* I cannot understand the fear of bugs; I am like unto Teddy, and will speak to the bugs I find in my house words of welcome.

I like to think of killing insects that have come into my house as my own little contribution to evolution--hopefully we'll eventually produce insects that realise coming inside a house is a bad idea!

[LaZodiac]

What if the crane fly only wanted to cuddle? What if it was attracted to the lustrous gloss of your hair, an admirer? What if rapacious sparrows had chased it into hiding, a refugee?

It didn't actually get anywhere near me. However, it simply being in my room made every inch of body shiver and sweat and freak out. I instantly devoted all my time to getting it because it was that or be unnerved for the rest of ever.

[Teddy]

I do admit it was kind of cute, but as my (disregarded ) phobia shows, I can not suffer a bug to live. I was armed with a can of compressed air and a player's guide and spent about 20 minutes (give or take) hunting it about my room. When I had finally thought I got it, slaying it with the cold, deadly air of the compressed air shot, I went back to my bed, but a chance sight saw it hiding behind my door. It was slain with a Back Stab, clearly I am a rogue of some sort.

Sounds more like a coup-de-grace to me (which at least doesn't sound quite as bad as an outright execution). If someone would be the rogue, wouldn't it be the the crane fly? I mean, it evaded your magic gust jar and slipped out of sight right in front of your eyes. And then it got unlucky with its hide check while you got a lucky roll on your perception, spelling its doom...

Sorry about killing something you find cute though, I understand that kind of sadness.

Nah, I'm not sad. I propagate for the preservation of most harmless wildlife, but I'm wise (or heartless) enough to not mourn those that weren't.

If you must blame anyone, blame Pinkhair, he told me based on its description at the time that it was a cockroach of some sort.

Either you're bad at describing crane flies, or they've got some pretty crazy cockroaches down in Pinkeru.

I do not know that we are altogether free of them. I only know that they are not a pernicious plague here as they are in warmer places, because they cannot survive outdoors. I, at least, have never seen one ever -- and I have been in some pretty skanky dives.

I know that there exists a species of outdoor cockroaches here in Sweden, but they're smaller than a pinkie nail and I wouldn't be able to tell if from just about any generic hemipteron if mum hadn't had a knack for insects (she's a conservator, she should know). Also, it's not considered vermin, as they as an outdoor-living species doesn't invade homes.

I don't see them very often, but they are rather slow... Mosquitoes are easy to catch too, if not quite nearly as nice to have around.

Mosquitoes are a sport to catch, but that's probably because I'm still trying to perfect my one-handed technique. Crane flies are clumsy, but they're erratic, which makes catching them tricky enough to be fun, but simple enough to not become frustrating. And then you let it outside in the open and feel like an angel for freeing it.

[AsteriskAmp]

Aww, but those are cute. And funny to play with because their clumsy flying make them so easy to catch.

[/total disregard for others' phobias]

Oh, then I would like to kindly invite you to my blood donation event...

If you must blame anyone, blame Pinkhair, he told me based on its description at the time that it was a cockroach of some sort.

Thin legged bug with oval body IS the description of a cockroach.

You never said the oval had a minor diameter of almost 0.

[Teddy]

Oh, then I would like to kindly invite you to my blood donation event...

Crane flies don't drink blood. Also, wut?

Thin legged bug with oval body IS the description of a cockroach.

You never said the oval had a minor diameter of almost 0.

As is it for pretty much any bug in existence. But yeah, this explains some things.

[AsteriskAmp]

Crane flies don't drink blood. Also, wut?

I meant in regards to phobias. Blood does not magically come out of the human body, it requires an intermediary and medical personnel does shy away from the use of knifes.

As is it for pretty much any bug in existence. But yeah, this explains some things.

Cockroaches are the most common in homes though, at least those of a size that could make someone notice rather than merely swatting.

[Dimonite]

Nah, I'm not sad. I propagate for the preservation of most harmless wildlife, but I'm wise (or heartless) enough to not mourn those that weren't.

My old Bio teacher always told us not to kill any bug we found in the house - killing one cockroach would apparently be useless, as one means there's thousands and you should call an exterminator (NOTE: my Bio teacher, while a wonderful woman, would occasionally tell us things that were completely inaccurate, and I haven't bothered verifying this. Believe at your own risk.) She made an exception, however for this:

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If you see one of these, you kill it ALL KINDS of dead. They're agressive and evil. EVIL. EEEEEEEEEVVVVVVVIIIIIIILLLLLL!!!!!!

[Teddy]

I meant in regards to phobias. Blood does not magically come out of the human body, it requires an intermediary and medical personnel does shy away from the use of knifes.

Oh, but see, so do I as well. I only disregard others' phobias (not really), my own are still perfectly valid. And you might want to stop pointing that knife in my general direction.

Cockroaches are the most common in homes though, at least those of a size that could make someone notice rather than merely swatting.

Given, our average crane fly-to-cockroach quota's right limit is infinity (okay, inaccurate use of mathematical term, but still) in this house, so that's not quite true in all parts of the world. But yeah, I can see how you're thinking.

EDIT:

My old Bio teacher always told us not to kill any bug we found in the house - killing one cockroach would apparently be useless, as one means there's thousands and you should call an exterminator (NOTE: my Bio teacher, while a wonderful woman, would occasionally tell us things that were completely inaccurate, and I haven't bothered verifying this. Believe at your own risk.) She made an exception, however for this:

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*funny thin*

If you see one of these, you kill it ALL KINDS of dead. They're agressive and evil. EVIL. EEEEEEEEEVVVVVVVIIIIIIILLLLLL!!!!!!

Looks like someone accidently turned it in the wrong direction when assembling the legs. Longest legs furthest back looks weird, otherwise it'd been quite cute in my eyes.

[AsteriskAmp]

Oh, but see, so do I as well. I only disregard others' phobias (not really), my own are still perfectly valid. And you might want to stop pointing that knife in my general direction.

Nah, I use standard medical procedure; I just use longer syringes by virtue of the reason I have syringes in the first place.

Given, our average crane fly-to-cockroach quota's right limit is infinity (okay, inaccurate use of mathematical term, but still) in this house, so that's not quite true in all parts of the world. But yeah, I can see how you're thinking.

That either means there are 0 cockroaches and more than 0 crane flies or there are infinite crane flies in a limited volume of air... resulting in either impenetrability of matter not being quite right for medium sized bodies, or... a CraneFlyPlosion (similar to Dwarf Fortress Catplosion).

I guess warm climate just makes the crane flies more rare, or the age of my residence being a factor of certain fauna over others.

[Teddy]

Nah, I use standard medical procedure; I just use longer syringes by virtue of the reason I have syringes in the first place.

Good to know. Just don't get all too surprised if any unannounced visits from my side is preceeded by a preemptive artillery bombardment with equipment I may or may not have pilfered from little brother. I just want to make sure that no unsettling contraptions may come within my sight, surely you'll be understanding.

I guess warm climate just makes the crane flies more rare, or the age of my residence being a factor of certain fauna over others.

I think especially the former, and it goes both ways, as our fine fellow Kneenibble pointed out.

[LaZodiac]

To be fair to me I've literally never seen either a cockroach or a crane fly in my entire life.

Also, there is WAY too much stuff in my room to make trying to catch it a safe idea (I also don't have anything to catch bugs in)

[Amidus Drexel]

My old Bio teacher always told us not to kill any bug we found in the house - killing one cockroach would apparently be useless, as one means there's thousands and you should call an exterminator (NOTE: my Bio teacher, while a wonderful woman, would occasionally tell us things that were completely inaccurate, and I haven't bothered verifying this. Believe at your own risk.) She made an exception, however for this:

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If you see one of these, you kill it ALL KINDS of dead. They're agressive and evil. EVIL. EEEEEEEEEVVVVVVVIIIIIIILLLLLL!!!!!!

That's a silverfish, right? I'm not fond of them, but I do try and give them a sporting chance. If they make it down the drain or out of my field of vision (as I am convinced that they either can breathe underwater, or can hold their breath for a while), then they may live.

[AsteriskAmp]

Good to know. Just don't get all too surprised if any unannounced visits from my side is preceeded by a preemptive artillery bombardment with equipment I may or may not have pilfered from little brother. I just want to make sure that no unsettling contraptions may come within my sight, surely you'll be understanding.

Paranoia is not spontaneously appearing, it is usually inherited. I have a bomb shelter, and as of now I'll have a spare set stored in it...

[AtlanteanTroll]

Silverfish all need to die. All of them. ALL OF THEM.

... This coming from a pacifist who felt bad when he accidentally killed a firefly

[AsteriskAmp]

Silverfish all need to die. All of them. ALL O.F THEM.

... And I'm a pacifist who felt bad when I accidentally killed a firefly

Silverfish are... why are they bad at all?

They do not transmit disease and just eat mostly leather and synthetic fabrics, which is not exactly a catastrophe except for books, and even then they are easily eradicated through spider breeding.

And I'm a preferential carnivore with the goal of eating each animal at least once before death and which dislikes about 80% of animal life.

[Teddy]

Also, there is WAY too much stuff in my room to make trying to catch it a safe idea (I also don't have anything to catch bugs in)

Hands?

That's a silverfish, right? I'm not fond of them, but I do try and give them a sporting chance. If they make it down the drain or out of my field of vision (as I am convinced that they either can breathe underwater, or can hold their breath for a while), then they may live.

My house is overrun by silverfish, and trust me, that is not a silverfish (house centipede if the image URL is to be trusted). Also, silverfish tends to be more... silvery.

Paranoia is not spontaneously appearing, it is usually inherited. I have a bomb shelter, and as of now I'll have a spare set stored in it...

Nothing a perfectly oversized deep penetration shell won't take care of. Me and little brother tend to joke about him being quite similar to Hitler in that he's almost magnetically attracted to anything oversized (and especially in regards to weaponry). And not only does he build his own cannons, he's even heading into the field of rocketry now. If we would combine our forces, we could build the best rocket with the best targeting software, and the electronics would be so riddiculously unstable that you'd tape a gremlin to it to add reliability.

[Amidus Drexel]

Silverfish are... why are they bad at all?

They do not transmit disease and just eat mostly leather and synthetic fabrics, which is not exactly a catastrophe except for books, and even then they are easily eradicated through spider breeding.

And I'm a preferential carnivore with the goal of eating each animal at least once before death and which dislikes about 80% of animal life.

That doesn't include humans, does it?

My house is overrun by silverfish, and trust me, that is not a silverfish (house centipede if the image URL is to be trusted). Also, silverfish tends to be more... silvery.

Ah, ok. It's been a good while since I've seen a silverfish up close, and the same goes for centipedes.

[Teddy]

Silverfish are... why are they bad at all?

They do not transmit disease and just eat mostly leather and synthetic fabrics, which is not exactly a catastrophe except for books, and even then they are easily eradicated through spider breeding.

They eat paper (for some reason, they prefer post-its. We've considered spreading those around as sacrifical anodes just to keep the silverfish off our books), and flood your house, and trust me, that last line is as wrong as wrong gets even when your house spouts spiders the size of your average wristwatch.

And I'm a preferential carnivore with the goal of eating each animal at least once before death and which dislikes about 80% of animal life.

That would be... most insects, but not all. You still like some insects.

[LaZodiac]

Hands?

If I did that their is a near 90% chance that I'd of thrown up all over the floor apon contact with the bug's bug flesh.

[Amidus Drexel]

If I did that their is a near 90% chance that I'd of thrown up all over the floor apon contact with the bug's bug flesh.

Nah, you'd have to squish them to do that. With most bugs, you'd just hit their chitin (for the ones that have it) or their exoskeleton. Or I've gotten my terms mixed up here (as the last time I took any sort of bio class was sophomore year in high school), and both of those mean the same thing (or something completely different entirely).