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Thread: Personal Woes and Advice 3
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2013-08-30, 09:47 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Sep 2008
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- UK
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2013-08-30, 08:41 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2013
- Location
- California
- Gender
Re: Personal Woes and Advice 3
Could someone possibly send me a hug please? Thank you in advance...I am feeling so stressed out and worried right now that I truly want to cry, but I can't. But I feel like maybe I could. I've already screamed and panicked and even maniacly laughed, but haven't been able to cry. So again, please? Sorry for no details...might add some after I spend some time calming down.
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2013-08-30, 08:52 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jun 2012
- Location
- Hiding in the Wardrobe
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Re: Personal Woes and Advice 3
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2013-08-30, 09:06 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2013
- Location
- California
- Gender
Re: Personal Woes and Advice 3
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2013-08-31, 06:01 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2006
- Location
- Charlottesville
- Gender
Re: Personal Woes and Advice 3
I was going to send a virtual hug (though I guess I'm kind of late) but Moriwen's hugs make mine look just downright sad. I may have to steal those pictures for feeling-down days.
Tali avatar by the talented Thormag.
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2013-08-31, 11:16 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2013
- Location
- California
- Gender
Re: Personal Woes and Advice 3
To me just about every hug is a good hug. Though yeah, those pictures are amazingly adorable.
So, a quick little explanation. I've had a few little stresses lately, like how to deal with a brother that I didn't exactly have a great conversation with last time we spoke and managed to greatly upset other members of our family, and a bit of a tough time with my girlfriend although we seem to have gotten things worked out a bit. But so far the worst has been my college stuff. I am in a drawing class, but this is my third attempt. The 1st time I failed because I procrastinated too much, fair enough my fault. Second time it was because the teacher expected multiple drafts with each assignment and I did not get this in my head until near the end of the class. I did many of my assignments, but without multiple attempts they just weren't good enough. And now this time I am trying to manage but all of the concepts in the class are so difficult I can barely manage them, and I really haven't improved much from last year. So I get frustrated and it takes me ages to get an assignment in, sometimes I just don't. And now here I am, probably going to have to try again in winter. It all just really got to be too much. I think the only reasons I am feeling any better are because I worked a few things out with my girlfriend yesterday and because my grandma (who I live with) says that I haven't let her down with this, which was one of my biggest worries. Still doesn't change the class problem though. I guess I'm just gonna have to push harder next time...
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2013-09-01, 04:12 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2008
- Location
- Earth?
- Gender
Re: Personal Woes and Advice 3
So, my Grandfather is actually making a recovery. Still bedridden, but off life support and lucid enough to hold conversations. He's not in the clear yet, but things are looking fairly hopeful for now.
On the other hand, my grandmother has fallen off a chair, and is now also in hospital with an injured hip and possibly some head trauma. Because this is how my family rolls.
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2013-09-01, 04:25 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jan 2008
Re: Personal Woes and Advice 3
So my new psychologist seems... OK. Not like earth-shatteringly awesome, but who is in a first session? She doesn't seem to talk about herself much, except I hypotheticals, which is good, but I'll just have to wait and see.
I use black for sarcasm.
Call me Rose, or The Rose Dragon. Rose Dragon is someone else entirely.
If you need me for something, please PM me about it. I am having difficulty keeping track of all my obligations.
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2013-09-01, 08:20 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2005
- Location
- Sydney, Australia
- Gender
Re: Personal Woes and Advice 3
Yeah, it took me a long while to warm up to mine, too (the one who has ended up making a huge positive difference). I think the most important thing is that they be someone you can 1) trust to really listen to what you're trying to say and 2) be comfortable enough to let them challenge the ideas that you're bringing to them, which they will probably need to do eventually if you're ever unwell. After all a person who agrees with you all the time can only help with a limited number of things. But it does take time to establish that trust and comfort level.
I'm pretty much the opposite of concise. If I fail to get to the point, please ask me and I'm happy to (attempt to) clarify.
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2013-09-03, 12:08 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Apr 2008
- Location
- Seattle, WA
- Gender
Re: Personal Woes and Advice 3
I'd actually go a step further than that on point 2 - they'll need to challenge your ideas (whether the surface or deeper ones) if you're going to change anything about yourself. And since that's, presumably, the point of going in the first place, having someone who you can be comfortable enough for them to challenge just about everything about yourself is hugely important. And I say this from my own experience, with both fantastic and not-so-good counselors in a couple different settings and locations.
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2013-09-03, 05:14 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2006
- Location
- Leeds, UK
- Gender
Re: Personal Woes and Advice 3
Dear Princess Personal Woes and Advice,
So, finished my first resit, gone to accessability, and have got a meeting set up to sort things out, considering I wasn't able to answer enough questions to pass even if I got every single one correct.
Got one more tomorrow which I'll do, and I learnt in today's resit that Enya is the best music for keeping me calm. So buying more Enya. All of it. Enyyaaaaaa.
Ahem. The meeting will be to work out what is going wrong exactly (the lady I'm speaking to suspects it's either just plain simple anxiety or anxiety plus the wrong subject for my skills). This'll involve talking about all the things I like doing and all the things I do in my spare time.
I hope to get this all sorted, but it does mean I'll be spending 3 @!£$ing years as a fresher, which is very very depressing. I was hoping by the end of next year to be done with university and in the wide pink yonder!
Your faithful student,
Castaras, the mildly insane"I'm just going on motive and opportunity here and the fact that if the earth got swallowed by a black hole, I'd look suspiciously in your direction first."
~ Timberwolf
"I blame Castaras. You know... In general."
~ KuReshtin
"Castaras - An absolutely adorable facade that hides a truly ruthless streak."
~ The Succubus
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2013-09-05, 06:14 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2013
Re: Personal Woes and Advice 3
I just came back from a long business trip and no one has said they missed me. I'm under a lot of pressure from a new position in work and now I have to move to a place I didn't want to with all the headaches that come from moving. And I can't even be SAD because if I let my feelings show she freaks out and tells me I don't know how to be happy.
Yeah, maybe I don't know.
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2013-09-07, 12:19 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2005
- Location
- Santa Barbara, CA
- Gender
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2013-09-09, 10:24 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2013
- Location
- California
- Gender
Re: Personal Woes and Advice 3
I know this happened a few days ago, are things still not going well? And if you can answer, who is it that will freak out if you show sadness? Other than that, it can be quite upsetting when people don't show appreciation for you, especially when you are under such stress. I would say you deserve to let yourself show that and not try to hide it just because someone else will freak out at you for it.
I wish you the best with the moving situation, and I hope very much that your job works out well for you IronFist. And I am quite sorry you have to deal with all this stress like this.
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2013-09-09, 11:14 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2013
Re: Personal Woes and Advice 3
Things are better now. I had a fight with my SO (just a few hours after the post; turns out I wasn't hiding sadness as well as I thought I was), but it was for the best. She even understood she wasn't right.
Thanks a lot for the support, Haluesen.
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2013-09-09, 11:50 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2013
- Gender
Re: Personal Woes and Advice 3
I started cutting again. School has only just started and it's already piling up. My friends are bailing on me or not inviting me to things. Mom made a surprise visit. I'm staying up late. Can't tell my girlfriend I love her. Probably not getting meds I need cause I'm crazy. But drawing a knife across my arm gives me control and balance in this universe. I almost sent a picture of it to my best friends but she doesn't need to see it. I'm so tired.
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2013-09-10, 12:30 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2005
- Location
- Sydney, Australia
- Gender
Re: Personal Woes and Advice 3
I'm sorry that things difficult for you at the moment, QueerKitty. I can see how all of those things could be really stressful. And feeling that you have no control over things can be awful.
We all have things we do to cope. We do them because it feels like they help. For me, there have been times when my coping mechanisms felt right at the time, or felt like they were the only thing I could do, but actually made things worse. But really there are many ways of coping, and some of them can actually make life better. You don't start out knowing how to find solutions to your problems - I certainly didn't - but you can learn. There are people who can help you.
Please, get some help.
There should be resources within your school, such as a counselling service. There are also free telephone helplines in many places, and they can point you to other services. I hope you find someone who can help you to make your life easier.I'm pretty much the opposite of concise. If I fail to get to the point, please ask me and I'm happy to (attempt to) clarify.
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2013-09-10, 02:31 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2013
- Location
- California
- Gender
Re: Personal Woes and Advice 3
Ah I'm sorry for there being a fight, though I am quite glad it turned out well. It is a little difficult to effectively hide those feelings, or so it seems to me at least. Anyway glad things are a little better and hope the work stress eases soon. If you need a word or anything, you can PM me. I'm on pretty often around here.
I have to agree with Jean here. If there is any counseling available, you should probably look into it. I can't blame you for seeing that as an outlet, I've thought that way a few times too. But once you start becoming dangerous to yourself, maybe it is time to get a little assistance.
It sucks that there is so much stress and that balance is so hard to find in the world. I do say to you that there are healthier ways to gain control in your life, but I don't feel like I can really advise anything in particular. Again talk to a professional, it is their job to know these things better. And I very much hope things go well with you and your girlfriend. I can at least offer a hug, if you are the hugging sort.
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2013-09-10, 09:12 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Apr 2007
- Location
- Lemuria
- Gender
Re: Personal Woes and Advice 3
I'd appreciate a PM from someone... anyone really.
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2013-09-11, 09:26 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Apr 2007
Re: Personal Woes and Advice 3
Sounds to me like cutting yourself and thinking about sending it to your friend isn't about finding balance in your life, but a cry for attention.
My Ex-wife started cutting after we got divorced as a cry for attention.
Seek counseling before you end up down the path she did. It started with cutting, a few stays at the mental hospital because she was a danger to herself, then she started into hardcore drugs, almost died. And finally with some assistance from me and my family she is back on her feet again, has a good paying job in the medical field with her degree, her own nice apartment and is kicking butt again! I'm very proud of her. Although I wouldn't marry her again for all the money in the world.
She has her life back on track. Took a lot of work. If she would of came out in the beginning with her feelings and sought out the help she needed willingly none of that ever would of happened.
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2013-09-11, 10:25 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jun 2012
- Location
- Hiding in the Wardrobe
- Gender
Re: Personal Woes and Advice 3
On the other hand: not everything is a cry for attention. It's OK if it is, but, personally, when I was in a bad place, nothing hurt more than people assuming I was trying to get attention. I just wanted to say "the fact that I'm hurting so much that physical pain to distract from it is wonderful isn't actually about you or getting your attention."
So: if you feel like you need someone to help (which is fine! It's wonderful, actually), yes, you should look to a professional. (Actually, you should do that anyway. Yes, right now. Go forth and google. This will wait.) But hurting yourself doesn't mean that you're necessarily doing it "for the attention." Sometimes it's just because, at the time, it feels better than the alternative.
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2013-09-11, 11:12 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2007
- Gender
Re: Personal Woes and Advice 3
But wanting to send a picture of it to others is generally a cry for attention. Down that path lies madness... and not a cure for your feelings.
Cutting won't help. It will create an addiction of sorts. And shame and guilt, which will only worsen your feelings, creating a horrible downward spiral from which it is not easy to get away. I would recommend breaking the cycle. First thing to do is find a harmless way of venting your feelings. Punch pillows. Pinch the top of your ear with the soft part of your fingers (Won't harm it at all, this is what a psychology teacher gave us as a recommendation to wake up when sleepy). Once you cut that habit, you can start working on the negative feelings. You start by detecting the negative thoughts and every time you have them, you replace them with positive ones. Sounds weird, but the repetition will help you learn the positive thought patterns.
That said, this is only first aid. What you REALLY need to do is get professional help.
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2013-09-11, 02:19 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jan 2008
Re: Personal Woes and Advice 3
I'm feeling depressed lately (colloquially, not clinically, though there is that too). Isolated, listless, and useless. I am trying to find something to spend my time on (besides physical exercise, which I can only do so much before my body gives up), and I can't really find anything. The only good thing in my life I can think of is that my holiday is almost over, and I'll be back in classes (and hopefully start some actual research) in two weeks.
I use black for sarcasm.
Call me Rose, or The Rose Dragon. Rose Dragon is someone else entirely.
If you need me for something, please PM me about it. I am having difficulty keeping track of all my obligations.
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2013-09-11, 02:27 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2013
Re: Personal Woes and Advice 3
Well, I've been banned from most everywhere on the internet I go; and I don't really feel like I truly belong to any community or group.
And, well, you guys don't like tropers and tropes; so I don't really belong here.
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2013-09-11, 02:29 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jan 2008
Re: Personal Woes and Advice 3
I use black for sarcasm.
Call me Rose, or The Rose Dragon. Rose Dragon is someone else entirely.
If you need me for something, please PM me about it. I am having difficulty keeping track of all my obligations.
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2013-09-11, 02:39 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2013
- Location
- California
- Gender
Re: Personal Woes and Advice 3
Aww that sounds horrid, I am quite sorry for the rejection going on there.
At the very least to show that it isn't all rejection, I have seen some people here who are into tropes on a bigger scale,not everyone here hates the idea. I'm a troper myself and haven't gotten any hate in the Playground. You could probably fit in here well.
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2013-09-11, 02:56 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2013
Re: Personal Woes and Advice 3
Thank you.
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2013-09-11, 02:56 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2013
- Gender
Re: Personal Woes and Advice 3
I wasn't looking for attention and I'm sorry that's how it came across. I won't mention it again
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2013-09-11, 03:20 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2013
- Location
- California
- Gender
Re: Personal Woes and Advice 3
Glad to help any way I can. I hope you are able to make many friends and that you enjoy it more here.
This place is meant for talking about your worries, don't worry about what some people think or get confused by. If you got a problem, feel free to mention it here, anytime. There'll be someone who wants to help at least. I hope that things do improve for you somehow, and that you don't hurt yourself any more.
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2013-09-11, 04:44 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2007
- Gender
Re: Personal Woes and Advice 3
A call for attention is not, per se, bad, however much people seem to think so. In a way, it's a good thing. It means you're calling out for help. It means you know, at some level, that there's a problem and you need help to get through it. That's already the first step, and at least at some level, you're willing to get out of the trouble you're in. That's why I offered some advise. You really need to stop the cycle. Find non-destructive ways to channel your feelings. And then start to work on the negative thoughts. Detect them and then replace them with positive ones. It will seem unnatural at first, but you will end up training yourself to think more positively and, even if nothing else changes, your perspective will, and everything will be different too.