The Throne of Thufir's Thoroughly Theoretical and Therapeutic Random Banter #116

[Player_Zero]

Whaddya say we rent a warehouse and pile it full with all the undergraduate papers written for a University in a year? - leaving aisles clear for marvellers to wander and wonder at the stacked quintessence of dust.

And then burn the place down, thus releasing the souls of the damned students?

[Cristo Meyers]

And then burn the place down, thus releasing the souls of the damned students?

Silly Zero, we don't bind the student's souls into their papers anymore, it's too inefficient. We use flash drives now.

[Fredthefighter]

And then burn the place down, thus releasing the souls of the damned students?

Yesssssss! Burn! Burn! Fire! Fire!
Yes, let the souls escape and come unto me! Their power shall be mine! All will know of the darkness I shall bring upon this world! All will suffer and die!

...... Sorry, I drifted off a little there.

[Kneenibble]

The souls of damned students are bound by their grasshopper-minded loans, anyways, not their papers.

Plus, the carbon footprint of the burnt offering would be much too deep. The papers could be shredded, mixed with nitrogen-rich garbage from the cafeterias, and made into fresh earth over the summer. Imagine! Ashes to ashes, (bull)**** to ****.

[Fredthefighter]

The souls of damned students are bound by their grasshopper-minded loans, anyways, not their papers.

Plus, the carbon footprint of the burnt offering would be much too deep. The papers could be shredded, mixed with nitrogen-rich garbage from the cafeterias, and made into fresh earth over the summer. Imagine! Ashes to ashes, (bull)**** to ****.

Hmmm, intriguing. Tell me more good sir.

[Player_Zero]

No... I'm fairly sure maths essays and research papers are prisons for innumerable unfortunate souls. I think the method of their capture involves finding someone who knows nothing about maths and exposing them to the more complex of calculations in order to shock the soul out of the body and then you bottle it, freeze it, smash it up and melt it into your pen ink while you write your paper.

[Jack Squat]

Anyone want a boat?

[Quincunx]

I can't be sure what Kneenibble intended by "grasshopper-minded loans", but as my mental image unfolded as a swarm of financier-faced locusts landing on the stubs of ten thousand paychecks and nibbling at the edges, I like it! It's as spicy as John Irving once managed to coin, when describing the fallout of a humiliation, a face turning "like a lawsuit" to witness it. Finally I could see why reviews of Irving called him a contemporary Charles Dickens--and how I could be grateful for reading the same talent for an incisive description from someone who knew how to cut his word count.

Jack Squat, lemme see if I'm reading this properly. That undetectable ship there--fantasy of a thousand sea smugglers--can't be sold? What's wrong with it other than the immobility of its dock?

[Jack Squat]

It can't be given away because no one wants the dock. They probably know they can't maintain it or sell it to someone who can.

I suggest some of the Cali members pick it up so us playgrounders can up the 4chan party van.

[Fredthefighter]

Anyone want a boat?

I.... want.... that.... boat.
Seriously, that is one cool boat. I'm going to wait until they would sell it for $500 and then take it off their hands.

[Cristo Meyers]

I.... want.... that.... boat.
Seriously, that is one cool boat. I'm going to wait until they would sell it for $500 and then take it off their hands.

They're giving it away...

It's just that no one either wants or can afford to maintain the dock that comes with it. (and presumably the dock isn't being given away)

[Fredthefighter]

They're giving it away...

It's just that no one either wants or can afford to maintain the dock that comes with it. (and presumably the dock isn't being given away)

I wouldn't dock it, I'd live on it and make money as a Ninja-pirate.

[Phase]

Well, my leg feels better, my mom got out of surgery and sounds great, and I have some free time.

Day turned out alright.

[CurlyKitGirl]

:BIGSCREAMINGHABDADS!!:

:stunned:

My . . .

. . .

My . . . French coursework is due in on Monday . . . My Medieval History coursework was set today and the deadline is one week earlier than I planned . . . My Lang coursework is due in the same day as the history coursework . . . My Classics coursework is due in on the same day as my Lit coursework: two days after my birthday.

. . .

My January results come out on the 12^th . . .

Twenty six days of hell await me.
Plus I'm helping six people now with various Lit courseworks and two for Classics.

[/stunnedlitany]

On the plus side/And worst of all:
I'll have done two - thirds (plus AS level) for three of my A Levels meaning I'm going to roughly know what I need to get for an A.

Maaaaaaah.

Also:

In Lit we ended up talking about homoeroticism, homoerotic images of twincestual necrophilia and baby stew fed to the father.
And I'm going to read the Bible after Paradise Lost.

[Jibar]

Wonderful Things of Today

1. I had a conversation with my English teacher about how much we both hate 24 Hour News services.

2. I managed to avoid having to explain undone homework by literally hiding under the table. As soon as she turned around, I just ducked and she had no clue. It was brilliant.

3. This then became a class wide hiding from our next teacher in an attempt to surprise her. Sadly she didn't come become because she was ill...

4. ...which got explained to me when I came across her on my way home. Had she actually shown up, she was so out of it she would have never found us.

5. Oh yeah, and there's the whole MIDNIGHT SCREENING OF WATCHMEN! Gonna be one of the first people in the country to see it.

[Cristo Meyers]

5. Oh yeah, and there's the whole MIDNIGHT SCREENING OF WATCHMEN! Gonna be one of the first people in the country to see it.

...

...I hate you.

...probably not going to be able to see it until well after it comes out...

...stupid no overtime meaning no spending money...

[Dragonrider]

What day's your birthday again, Koorli? 'tisn't on your profile & I can't remember. If it's shortly I have got to think of something for you...

[Fredthefighter]

...

...I hate you.

...probably not going to be able to see it until well after it comes out...

...stupid no overtime meaning no spending money...

I'm probably on the same page as Cristo here, I have to wait until I can scrounge a free trip to the cinema off of my Uncle Paul.
But it will be good, I wait for Watchmen with baited breath.

[Dallas-Dakota]

I.....

I....I somehow got chainmail rings in my keyboard.....

*wanders off, stunned*

[Coidzor]

I.....

I....I somehow got chainmail rings in my keyboard.....

*wanders off, stunned*

...That's what you get for bringing strange dwarves home with you...

*holds his stomach and curses his weakness against energy drinks*

[Fredthefighter]

...That's what you get for bringing strange dwarves home with you...

*holds his stomach and curses his weakness against energy drinks*

We aren't that strange, just because we have more muscle, less height, thick beards from a young age, hairy chests, deep voices and enhanced stamina doesn't mean we're weird.

[Dallas-Dakota]

...That's what you get for bringing strange dwarves home with you...

*holds his stomach and curses his weakness against energy drinks*

Actually its from the chainmail I´m making.....

But how they got there from the garage....

[Sub_Zero]

Actually its from the chainmail I´m making.....

But how they got there from the garage....

Probably stuck to your clothes or hair or some other part of you that could possibly get small rings stuck on

[CurlyKitGirl]

What day's your birthday again, Koorli? 'tisn't on your profile & I can't remember. If it's shortly I have got to think of something for you...

Check this:

Mother's Day: 22^nd March
Koorli's B - Day: 23^rd March
Mr. KitGirl's B - Day: 24^th March
Lit and Classics coursework due in: 25^th March

Lovely eighteenth isn't it?
At least I don't do pubs or clubs.

Also: stew has made everything better. Stew and books.

[Fredthefighter]

Actually its from the chainmail I´m making.....

But how they got there from the garage....

You're making chainmail?
*Worships*
Armour=Awesome

[Dallas-Dakota]

Koorli's B - Day: 23^rd March

Hmm, I should draw or write you something for you birthday.
Any preferences? A handdrawing, a poem, a ship or something drawn with on the computer?

[Sub_Zero]

Koorli's B - Day: 23^rd March

I don't really know if there's anything I could offer you. Scanner's broken so I couldn't do a drawing of any kind and I have no other real skills to offer

[Cristo Meyers]

Koorli's B - Day: 23^rd March

I shall endeavor to have something ready as a gift.

*kicks creative side*

HEAR THAT? YOU'VE GOT A DEADLINE!

...lazy bastard...

[Fredthefighter]

Koorli's B - Day: 23^rd March

I have been struck by inspiration! To the Fredcave!


I'm just kidding, do you think that if I had a Fredcave I would be here? Actually, yeah, I'd still be here, just less often due to having a Fredcave.

Now where did I leave my pen?

[Player_Zero]

I shall endeavor to have something ready as a gift.
*kicks creative side*
HEAR THAT? YOU'VE GOT A DEADLINE!
...lazy bastard...

Where's my birthday present?