Results 151 to 180 of 1474
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2009-11-02, 07:22 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2009
- Location
- New York
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
My brother is like Belkar. But smarter. Last night when I refused to show him what I was looking at online, he screamed at me, ripped my laptop out of my hands, kicked my backpack, and threw my deodorant at me. Pretty much par for the course.
My webcomic!
Currently DMing:
Tales of Aequar: Runite's Rise IC
OOC Map
Playing Natalia Bolts,Jadeite Nocrius, and Soren Lowell
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2009-11-02, 07:25 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jun 2009
- Location
- Minnesota, ya?
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
I have three brothers. One of whom is Roy, one of whom is V, except with more social skills, and one of whom is Thog, but smarter. I'm pretty much like Eugene Greenhilt. Ours is a household rife with arguments over ridiculously petty things.
...And that is how I met your father.
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2009-11-02, 07:27 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2008
- Location
- Germany
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
My friend's brother deletes savegames.
Other peoples' savegames.
Without asking.
And he's what, twenty? I still can't grasp how she's managed to avoid murdering him all these years.
Makes me glad I'm an only child. XD
Oh, and Esmerelder, I loved that body-swapping fic. :D Hilarious. V threatening to mutilate himself is creepily in-character. Please, continue! :D
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2009-11-02, 07:47 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2009
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
My brother doesn't do that (at least, not as much as he used to), but there was (is?) a time when he would leave his games running for days before noticing. It doesn't happen as much now, but I'm not sure he doesn't still do it.
It's just a shock. I've been in the "V = female" camp for as long as I've known it was debated, but I have trouble processing when my favorite character gets a sudden physical ailment with no easy remedy. And with Redcloak, no less!
However, by no means am I saying I am against this. Quite the contrary; I think V has been needing to mature out of being the one who blasts first and asks questions later. It cost her her family, and perhaps a great deal more besides. If a couple years of pregnancy can help her do that, I see no reason to hate it.
As for the fanon, that's effectively what that lecture about V's childhood is, at least until RB comes and confirms it. (Although whether or not we perceive it as canon is our own choice. )
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2009-11-02, 07:55 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jun 2009
- Location
- Minnesota, ya?
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
Damn you all. I'm supposed to be writing an essay discussing the motivations of various characters in Great Expectations, not archive bingeing on the crack pairings thread.
...And that is how I met your father.
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2009-11-02, 09:42 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jun 2007
- Location
- One Step Beyond
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
Woah. Hold on; people who make 'crack' fanfiction pairings that are actually well thought out, written fantastically and make my cold icy heart feel for the characters?
Thanks for making me revise my view of reality guys, now I'm going to have to find a whole new group to mock. And I feel like joining in as well, despite having written nothing for years since I'm so bad at it.Feel free to catch me on MSN if you ever feel like a chat! You can find me under "ChocolateHeathen (At) Hotmail (Dot) com", most days.
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2009-11-03, 03:24 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2008
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
I'm older, smarter, bigger, fitter and scarier then all my brothers. It's a good trait to have.
Pity I never got to use this, I do like me some megalomania, particularly when it can be backed up...
Spoiler“Little Halfling! I was burning worlds before your existence was a glimmer in Arneson’s eye! I was breaking people before your pathetic species genesis! I was fighting battles when your only struggle was to climb out of a womb! I was taking over the creation when your universe was a crib! Darkness? Little mortal.... I INVENTED Darkness!! I am sin! I am perversion, hedonism and lust! I am the fire that burns in your veins and the passions that suffuse your heart!
Your gods are as nothing to me, specs infesting one pitiful world in creation! You think your sins are original, but I’ve seen it all before. Every time you tortured, every time you plied your pitiful craft over another, I was there. Every time you smiled as you weakened others, as you took advantage of innocence, as you perverted goodness you called to me. Every time you gave in to your own perversions and enjoyed the ecstasy, the hedonistic rush of killing, you were me.
You are me, little Halfling, but I am not you. You have spent your life in one blood drenched, silent prayer to me, but I have barely deigned to recognize your existence. You are a seconds diversion to a primal force of creation, soon to be cast aside and forgotten. I am sin itself. I am a pillar of creation, without me there would be no universe, no choice. I am fundamental, untouchable and eternal. But you, you are nothing, nothing at all.
Now...On. Your. Knees...Bitch.”
Nadir We,
Youth Born,
Blood Letters,
Axe Weilders,
Victors Still.
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2009-11-03, 04:39 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2008
- Location
- Melbourne, Australia
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
I'm glad my brother isn't like that. If he was, I'd throw him down the stairs. Idiots like that should never be tolerated. I'm still furious about my cousin's attempt to steal my copy of Mario Kart DS. Steals my cart, deletes my save data and lies to me, my parents and his parents. When I see him next, he's in for one verbal lashing.
Last edited by Skeppio; 2009-11-03 at 04:39 AM.
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2009-11-03, 06:21 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.
If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).
The best answer is always to ask your DM.
Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.
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2009-11-03, 07:09 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jun 2007
- Location
- One Step Beyond
- Gender
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2009-11-03, 11:04 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2006
- Location
- England
This post may contain sarcasm.
DeviantArt
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2009-11-03, 12:45 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2008
- Location
- UK
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
Another tale for you, with a bittersweet ending:
SpoilerThe tears began to drip down her face, smoking as they hit the stony floor beneath her. The Oracle had told her what happened to her beloved son and how valiantly he had fought against the despicable adventurers. He had been unusually expansive in his answer to her; granted, she was capable of obliterating him within 2 rounds but she sensed there was more to it than that...
“If it hadn't been for the elf...”
“Vaarsuvius!” she said, with even more venom than usual.
“...I think he'd have a new green-hilted toothpick by now.”
“You have done more for me than you know,” said the Dragon, gazing at the little kobold below her. “Now I can have closure, followed by an unspeakable revenge.”
“It was nothing, really,” replied the Oracle, blushing.
“You have earned your fee a hundred times over and a little something more...” She leaned over and with the softest of movements, nipped the back of the Oracle's neck. He turned towards her face, a huge smile beginning to form, and licked her cheek.
Leaning in closer, she whispered gently into his ear, “Do you have somewhere a little more private we can go?”
By way of an answer, the Oracle raised a hand and a section of ground near the tower opened up into a long dark passageway. The Dragon followed him down the steps, which opened out into a huge torchlit cavern. Gold and jewels were scattered across the floor and towering piles of skulls stood in each corner of the room. In draconic terms, this was the equivalent of a huge four poster bed with silk sheets and a champagne bucket in the corner. She was momentarily taken aback.
“I hope you're not in the habit of seducing every ancient black dragon that comes to your tower,” she murmured.
“No ma'am, I'm very particular in whom I chose to spend the night with,” said the Oracle, grinning broadly. *
She stretched out on the nearest heap of gold and looked at the small kobold, afraid to ask the question that had been running through her mind. He already knew what she was thinking and held up a couple of scrolls – Enlarge Person and Bull's Stamina. Her eyes began to blaze with lust and as soon as the casting was complete, the Oracle slipped off his robe and moved behind her....
*****
“Huh, has that hole always been there?” said the figure in red.
“Definitely,” replied his green companion, leaning in for a closer look.
“I can hear something.”
“Yeah, I can hear it as well,” said Green, glaring at his friend.
“No, seriously, it sounds like someone moaning and gasping,”
“Yeah, it doesn't sound like someone saying “Yes, yes, oh yes!” at all.”
“I think it's getting louder. I wonder what's happening down-”
Unfortunately, their conversation was cut short as a colossal fountain of acid burst forth from the end of the tunnel, reducing both of them to dripping acid-stained skeletons. Had either of them survived and felt brave enough to head down, they would have seen a dragon curled up with a small kobold in her arms, fast asleep.
*****
The sun shone brightly on them as they emerged from the cave and the dragon announced she had to leave.
“Are you sure I can't persuade you to stay a while longer?” asked the Oracle, a mixture of hope and regret in his eyes.
“I'm sorry, my love, but I have to go...” she said, gazing wistfully at her companion. With broad strokes of her wings, she slowly began to ascend.
“Will you call me sometime?” he yelled.
“You're the Oracle!” she laughed. As she looked back, she winked at him in a way that made his cynical heart leap with joy. He thought about using his powers to see if she'd return but decided against it. It would be a wonderful surprise for the future.
* Please see previous threads about the validity of this statement.
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2009-11-03, 12:52 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2006
- Location
- England
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
This post may contain sarcasm.
DeviantArt
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2009-11-03, 01:01 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2009
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
It's refreshing (and reassuring) to have a story where the Oracle doesn't give rapist vibes. :p
Formerly known as Discord here and Maladin on avatarspirit.net.
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2009-11-03, 01:03 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2008
- Location
- Germany
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
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2009-11-03, 01:34 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2009
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
Well, we all know why Koboldnova was chosen by Tiamat to become the Oracle.
There's, of course, a little problem with this. They didn't get body-swapped; their original body polymorphed into a different body (at least according to V). So hurting himself won't actually do anything to Belkar's actual body. But Belkar doesn't need to know that.Formerly known as Discord here and Maladin on avatarspirit.net.
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2009-11-03, 01:39 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2006
- Location
- England
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
Judging my the fact that Haley woke up hovering in the air, and Roy couldn't find his sword, I suspect that they actually have been body-swapped.
I just realised that I'm now craving another V (or some other elf) x ABD fic. What's wrong with me???Last edited by Zanaril; 2009-11-03 at 01:46 PM.
This post may contain sarcasm.
DeviantArt
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2009-11-03, 01:55 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2009
- Gender
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2009-11-03, 01:55 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2006
- Location
- England
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
Last edited by Zanaril; 2009-11-03 at 02:14 PM.
This post may contain sarcasm.
DeviantArt
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2009-11-03, 02:32 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2009
- Gender
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2009-11-03, 02:47 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2006
- Location
- England
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
This post may contain sarcasm.
DeviantArt
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2009-11-03, 03:20 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
Last edited by The Dark Fiddler; 2009-11-03 at 03:21 PM.
It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.
If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).
The best answer is always to ask your DM.
Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.
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2009-11-03, 03:41 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2009
- Location
- Alaska
- Gender
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2009-11-03, 03:43 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2006
- Location
- England
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
This post may contain sarcasm.
DeviantArt
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2009-11-03, 03:46 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2009
- Location
- Alaska
- Gender
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2009-11-03, 03:48 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2009
- Location
- Alaska
- Gender
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2009-11-03, 03:49 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2006
- Location
- England
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
This post may contain sarcasm.
DeviantArt
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2009-11-03, 03:52 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2008
- Location
- UK
- Gender
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2009-11-03, 03:54 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2009
- Location
- Alaska
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
Last edited by Aaron; 2009-11-03 at 03:55 PM.
Your local Cleric.
Cleric of the Murphy's Law Thread
(yes, that is possible)
"Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines."
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2009-11-03, 04:16 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.
If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).
The best answer is always to ask your DM.
Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.