Crack Pairings VII - Bring Bottled Water, Our Water is Spiked With Love Potion

[Zanaril]

I think that they probably wouldn't accept any supervision but their own if those two wanted to see Tia.

But they can't be paying attention all the time. V's parents just have to wait until V and Reddy are out of earshot, then they can come down and have a chat.

[Draconi Redfir]

...That's not how biology works. The actual criteria of being two separate species, I believe, is that the two cannot produce a fertile child between them. A horse and a donkey can breed, but a mule's always infertile, so horses and donkeys are different species. A poodle can breed with a Great Dane, so they're different races/breeds of the same species. That's the defining difference between different races and different species.

Yes I’m aware of that. But remember that we live in a completely different world then the OOTS.


Lets say for example that aliens come to our real-world earth. They live here a few years, staying in contact. Eventually one falls in love with a human. The two mate, and have a kid who as it turns out, is 100% fertile.

It’s impossible for the two (alien and human) to be the same species, as this is the first time the two have ever met. And even if they came from the same planet, millions of years of genetic drift would have changed any similarities they had. Its just one massive coincidence that they are compatible. It could be said for D&D examples like goblins and elves.

[Lix Lorn]

Yeah, but the chances of completely different species evolving in such a similar way are astronomical.

[Draconi Redfir]

Yeah, but the chances of completely different species evolving in such a similar way are astronomical.

I don’t think they need to be that similar. The amount of chromosomes the offspring has just needs to be an even number.


Example: say horses have a 2n of 42, and mules a 2n of 24. Now take 1n from each (half of 2n). That’s 21 and 12. add those together, and you get 33. i.e. a mule.

Organisms need an EVEN number of chromosomes to be fertile. If the number is odd, they will be unable to produce children, because their bodies will not be able to undergo mitosis properly. (Mitosis= one cell with 2n chromosomes producing 4 cells with 1n chromosomes. an odd number can not divide in half) thus making them sterile.


IF however we have the following:

Elves: 2n 64 and Goblins: 2n 44, that would be 1n 32 + 1n 22 = 54. An even number, which will be able to go through mitosis properly, and thus, be fertile.


swap the elves with humans, and goblins with aliens, and you get the same scenario. a perfectly fertile offspring, of two sperate spicies.

[Lix Lorn]

...no. See, you're oversimplifying.
Odd or even is a binomial system. Yet birds cannot breed with humans, or with rhinos. This implies at least a trinomial system, if you are correct. Meaning you aren't.

[Draconi Redfir]

...no. See, you're oversimplifying.
Odd or even is a binomial system. Yet birds cannot breed with humans, or with rhinos. This implies at least a trinomial system, if you are correct. Meaning you aren't.

i think the main problem with birds being unable to breed with humans or rhinos is that:

a) they arent scentient, and as such only breed with their own kind.

b) even if they did, they would be crushed to death.

[Thor Person Guy]

i think the main problem with birds being unable to breed with humans or rhinos is that:

a) they arent scentient, and as such only breed with their own kind.

b) even if they did, they would be crushed to death.

Not to mention, they don't even use the same methods of reproduction. I don't study birds or anything, but the pictures I saw in middle school gave me the impression that it involves one bird puking into the other one's mouth.

[CoffeeIncluded]

Not to mention, they don't even use the same methods of reproduction. I don't study birds or anything, but the pictures I saw in middle school gave me the impression that it involves one bird puking into the other one's mouth.

i think the main problem with birds being unable to breed with humans or rhinos is that:

a) they arent scentient, and as such only breed with their own kind.

b) even if they did, they would be crushed to death.

What?

Uh...No. Birds sexually reproduce as well. All animals do. (Parthenogenesis notwithstanding)

And even with the same number of chromosomes, it's nonviable. The genetic makeup is just too different for there to be a viable zygote.

Oh, and the word you're looking for is sapient.

[Lix Lorn]

They mean sentient.

And that's what i mean. It's not just chromosomes. There have to be a VERY similar genetic makeup. Humans might be able to breed with some forms of ape. That's it.

[Draconi Redfir]

What?

Uh...No. Birds sexually reproduce as well. All animals do. (Parthenogenesis notwithstanding)

And even with the same number of chromosomes, it's nonviable. The genetic makeup is just too different for there to be a viable zygote.

Oh, and the word you're looking for is sapient.

right. my bad.

[icastflare!]

They mean sentient.

And that's what i mean. It's not just chromosomes. There have to be a VERY similar genetic makeup. Humans might be able to breed with some forms of ape. That's it.

ya. you just cannot throw an elf at cthulhu. A dwarf at a mindflayersquid thingy, a bird at a earth golem and boom. you have some monstrosity that is 100 percent okay

[Lix Lorn]

Actually, if magical creatures are involved, it probably will work. (Slight smile)
But if you use SIENSE, then it won't.

[icastflare!]

Actually, if magical creatures are involved, it probably will work. (Slight smile)
But if you use SIENSE, then it won't.

then why are we arguing over this anyway

oh well, Rogue Love part 6, the grand spanking finally wil lbe coming soon. got a plot ready, now how its gonna go. And teevo makes a gues appearance. After Using him in the roys bone golemxtsusikoxTeevo pairing I did, I want to use him more

[Lix Lorn]

Someone asked if Tiasal was fertile.

Oooh!

[icastflare!]

Someone asked if Tiasal was fertile.

Oooh!

lets just say " Its the authors call" Like v's gender. Let It be known that I am part of the " It could be a black hole for all I know and care" camp in the arguement. On the note of genders and blackholes

Spoiler

Show

Help It got me !!
Nale!
Run to the hills Sabine, Run to the hills!

what if that happened as a continuation of my continuation of coffee's story?
that would be disturbing

[Lix Lorn]

Pfffffft. XDD

[icastflare!]

Pfffffft. XDD

this stuff actually goes through my head. I am that random

[Lix Lorn]

XD I'm random sometimes.

[Water-Smurf]

But they can't be paying attention all the time. V's parents just have to wait until V and Reddy are out of earshot, then they can come down and have a chat.

And that is why they would probably banish them as soon as they were finished with supervising.

[Lix Lorn]

XDDD
Owned.

[ShinyDelusion]

Hey, Shiny, what DID happen to When In Rome? We miss you!

I'm around. Lurking. Sometimes. I've felt a little ill lately, so I've been spending less time on the internet. Seen some great stuff as I've lurked guys; well done. Looks like I lied about the belated Valentine's Day gift. Sorry. I'd promise that I'll update something eventually, but... What can I say? I just haven't been feeling it lately. I think I'll blame that on this rather unusually wretched winter season for now.

The late V-day gift was going to be chapter 3 of Hinjo x Tsukiko but I only got a couple of sentences in. I'm going to make a Hamlet reference that I'm perhaps a little too proud of in chapter 6, 8, or 10, and things are going to take a turn for the "gee, that's really serious" in chapter... I dunno, but otherwise I'm a complete blank on what I want to write of that fic (aside from a basic plot outline).

If Water-Smurf's still taking fluff requests (or if she's not interested and someone else would like to attempt this) I seem to remember someone speculating at some point that V's parents probably tried to set her up with Aandy at least once.

Also, it occured to me the other day that a Discworld x OotS crossover would be one prolonged ensument of hilarity and Crowning Moment of Awesome regardless of any pairings involved, but I'm not feeling up to writing it myself, so I'll just throw that out there in the hope that one of you will catch it and run with it.

[CoffeeIncluded]

I'm around. Lurking. Sometimes. I've felt a little ill lately, so I've been spending less time on the internet. Seen some great stuff as I've lurked guys; well done. Looks like I lied about the belated Valentine's Day gift. Sorry. I'd promise that I'll update something eventually, but... What can I say? I just haven't been feeling it lately. I think I'll blame that on this rather unusually wretched winter season for now.

The late V-day gift was going to be chapter 3 of Hinjo x Tsukiko but I only got a couple of sentences in. I'm going to make a Hamlet reference that I'm perhaps a little too proud of in chapter 6, 8, or 10, and things are going to take a turn for the "gee, that's really serious" in chapter... I dunno, but otherwise I'm a complete blank on what I want to write of that fic (aside from a basic plot outline).

If Water-Smurf's still taking fluff requests (or if she's not interested and someone else would like to attempt this) I seem to remember someone speculating at some point that V's parents probably tried to set her up with Aandy at least once.

Also, it occured to me the other day that a Discworld x OotS crossover would be one prolonged ensument of hilarity and Crowning Moment of Awesome regardless of any pairings involved, but I'm not feeling up to writing it myself, so I'll just throw that out there in the hope that one of you will catch it and run with it.

*Hugs* Feel better. I'm patiently waiting, and so is everyone else!

...Oh my. V and Unseen University...

And...And... And The Order...And Vetinari...And Vimes...

*Little squeal of happiness*

*Sigh* I dunno if it's allowed though...

(And Water-Smurf, did you read what I sent you? Did it help at all?)

[ShinyDelusion]

*Hugs* Feel better. I'm patiently waiting, and so is everyone else!

...Oh my. V and Unseen University...

And...And... And The Order...And Vetinari...And Vimes...

*Little squeal of happiness*

*Sigh* I dunno if it's allowed though...

(And Water-Smurf, did you read what I sent you? Did it help at all?)

Thanks.

What would disallow it? Sir Terry isn't one of those who has "forbidden" fanfic of his work (as far as I know) and as long as there's a crackpairing somewhere in there it wouldn't count as off topic. Although, sheesh... Carrot x Someone would result in all kinds of chaos I'm sure, and, as I run recurring Discworld characters through my mind, he seems like the best bet for crossover crackpairing...

[CoffeeIncluded]

Thanks.

What would disallow it? Sir Terry isn't one of those who has "forbidden" fanfic of his work (as far as I know) and as long as there's a crackpairing somewhere in there it wouldn't count as off topic. Although, sheesh... Carrot x Someone would result in all kinds of chaos I'm sure, and, as I run recurring Discworld characters through my mind, he seems like the best bet for crossover crackpairing...

We should run it past Roland though. Just to be on the safe side. I mean, it is the OOTS crack pairings thread.

...........But...But...Discworld.................. .......................................

*Giggles insanely*

Just swap "Evil" for "Nerd"

(Oh, and Janine/Remus? )

[ShinyDelusion]

We should run it past Roland though. Just to be on the safe side. I mean, it is the OOTS crack pairings thread.

...........But...But...Discworld.................. .......................................

*Giggles insanely*

Just swap "Evil" for "Nerd"

(Oh, and Janine/Remus? )

Fair enough. I suppose if it gets turned down we could always go to FF.net, especially now that we have a thread there too.

*giggles* Now I need to tell all my friends about this wonderful thing. Actually, I need to tell my only real life friend who reads Discworld and OotS. And I had to introduce her to both. *sigh* My world needs more people who read stuff I do.

I wasn't aware that Janine was that... *hunts for adjective* *fails to find a good one*

[CoffeeIncluded]

Fair enough. I suppose if it gets turned down we could always go to FF.net, especially now that we have a thread there too.

*giggles* Now I need to tell all my friends about this wonderful thing. Actually, I need to tell my only real life friend who reads Discworld and OotS. And I had to introduce her to both. *sigh* My world needs more people who read stuff I do.

I wasn't aware that Janine was that... *hunts for adjective* *fails to find a good one*

If not, then I'm waiting eagerly for your next update, whenever it may come!

*Sits and eagerly waits*

...Believe me, I didn't start that. You want an explanation, just take a look at the last few posts of that relevant thread...

[ShinyDelusion]

If not, then I'm waiting eagerly for your next update, whenever it may come!

*Sits and eagerly waits*

...Believe me, I didn't start that. You want an explanation, just take a look at the last few posts of that relevant thread...

You might be waiting a while.

When you put it like that I'm afraid to look. *looks* Oh for the love of--Why am I surprised?

Well, on the subject of that pairing, I believe it goes under the heading of "More Disturbing than Belkar x Matt" which I consider my threshold for, uh, disturbing-ness...

[CoffeeIncluded]

You might be waiting a while.

When you put it like that I'm afraid to look. *looks* Oh for the love of--Why am I surprised?

Well, on the subject of that pairing, I believe it goes under the heading of "More Disturbing than Belkar x Matt" which I consider my threshold for, uh, disturbing-ness...

I'm actually not too happy about it.

Crack. Pairings. Thread. (Maybe an odd dream brought on by too much alcohol? ...Well, not alcohol; Janine doesn't drink.)

Buuut, back on topic! Damn, I just had a great inspiration for a very short pairing, but I haven't thought of the characters yet! I'll try to think of characters tonight and tomorrow.

[ShinyDelusion]

I'm actually not too happy about it.

Crack. Pairings. Thread. (Maybe an odd dream brought on by too much alcohol? ...Well, not alcohol; Janine doesn't drink.)

Buuut, back on topic! Damn, I just had a great inspiration for a very short pairing, but I haven't thought of the characters yet! I'll try to think of characters tonight and tomorrow.

Meh. Neither am I.

No sharing until it's all written out, or can I get a preview?

[CoffeeIncluded]

Meh. Neither am I.

No sharing until it's all written out, or can I get a preview?

Sorry, no can do. You'll have to wait until tomorrow.