Results 901 to 930 of 1474
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2009-11-16, 11:23 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Apr 2008
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Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
My girlfriend is suggesting Celia x Thog, and she doesn't even read OotS.
Hm... I kinda want to do something with the OotS themselves, but I can't think of anything... Especially since everyone's already done every possible pairing.
Wait...
Has anybody written Elan x V?
Edit:
Come to think of it... I can make Celia and Thog work. Actually, I can think of several ways to make it work.
And yet I can't come up with any ways to make Elan x V work. In fact, its the fact that I can't figure it out that makes me want to actually figure it out.Last edited by Lycan 01; 2009-11-17 at 12:17 AM.
Anemoia: Nostalgia for a time you've never known.
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2009-11-17, 01:29 AM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
Your local Cleric.
Cleric of the Murphy's Law Thread
(yes, that is possible)
"Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines."
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2009-11-17, 01:32 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Nov 2008
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Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
Thanks for the great fics of the last day, people. Especially liked the Mr ScruffyxV's ears one. VxCain is still going strong, which is very awesome indeed. I'm slightly worried about the stuff the Ordo Xenos might be inclined to try on this odd Eldar, though...
Also, thanks for the love, everyone. Stuff is a bit better now.
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2009-11-17, 07:11 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Sep 2009
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- Alpha Cenetarie
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Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
Hayley + Giant Worm + Belker
Spoiler
"Hello" Hayley said weakly, for she was standing in the middle of the desert, with a huge, menacing, looking worm over her. The worm coiled around her, and wrapped its tail around her mouth.
"He, he he he" Chuckled the bemused Belker,"Kinky"
Happy to be back!!!
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2009-11-17, 09:43 AM (ISO 8601)
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- May 2009
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Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
I loved your last update, Lycan 01. Go Jurgen!
@ half-halfling: I think Zanaril herself doesn't know the name of the font anymore. And Haley doesn't quite look like Haley either. Must be her hair's lighter color.
I was trying to make a scene like you do, half-halfling, with backgrounds and everything, but I didn't succeed. So here's a banner instead.
Formerly known as Discord here and Maladin on avatarspirit.net.
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2009-11-17, 10:07 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2009
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- Hell (Sweden)
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Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
My english teacher want a story til friday. I come up blank. I am thinking of useing the story I'm working on now for this thread. Do you se any trubble more then the obvius. Heres the story.
Finally I post something
(Gender-switched The oracle) + The oracle
Everyone is a furry version of themselves
Rolled it up.
Spoiler
The Oracle heard a knock on the door.
"Come in." he said in an angry voice. How could they continue to disturb him during bath time? He laid duckie on the floor and promised this would be quick.
He went to the door and were stunned speechless. The most beautiful kobold women he had ever laid he's eyes on was in he's hallway. He turned to duckie and said "All promises off."
He turned around in perfect time to hear: “I want you to have sex with this woman. Now. “
He just now noticed the man the good looking gentleman walking behind her.
“What did you just say?” He wondered.
“Have sex with this kobold now or I will do something nasty to you.” The gentleman said.
The oracle got suspicious. Why would someone give him a woman?
“Is this payment for a prediction?” He asked with a shocked look in his eyes.
“Ohm, yes indeed.” The gentleman bluffed. Sadly he never was good at those and he rolled a natural one.
“Is it ok if I look in to the future to see what happens?” The oracle said.
“If you most.” The gentleman grumbled.
The oracle mumbled the chant rather calmly. He would not die to day.
“What will happen if I sleep with this kobold woman?” He asked to his five headed deity. And answered he got.
“Oh my god. So she is me gender bent from another world?”
“Yes.”
“And you are a CE wizard from a scary place known as THE CRACK PARINGS THREAD?”
“Yes.”
“But now I won’t have sex with her doesn’t that even bother you.”
“OH, it will happen. MASS THE ODORS KIND OF A MIND RAPE SPELL THAT STILL LEAVE YOU TOTALLY AWAERE OF WHAT’S HAPPENING. Crack paring thread deities spell powering.” He proudly pronounced while moving his hands over dramatically.
“What the hell was that?” The oracle screamed while he started walking towards the kobold woman that he now knew was himself.
“A home made mega spell for these moments like these.” He said while summing a couch and laid down.
Now the kobold was taking of each others clothes in a hot manner.
“That wasn’t as fun as I imagined. I Know.”
“OH, what now gonna summon that dragon killing mage to join us.” The Female Oracle asked in an angry voice.
“No I don’t have those spells but I have this. MASS THE ODORS FURIFIOUR. Crack paring thread deities spell powering.
At the same moment the pain of millions of tiny hairs exploded out through both Oracles scales. The female one had bright red while the male had blue
“Now that’s some good crack.” He said as the oracles screamed in pain. “Now get on with it.”
“This might make up for not posting in a while.”
------------------------Later that evening--------------------------------
The oracle woke up in his bed with a scream.
“What an awful nightmare.” He said to himself. He looked around himself and saw a thin layer of blue hair.
“Oh ****.” He said and reached for the bottle of brain bleach in his night drawer.
----------------------Mean while in an alternative universe-----------------
“This is some good stuff now I will take some chips while before I upload.” The Odor says with an evil smile.
Do I have your mercy o great gods of crack?
Was it any good.
Next Sigvald the Magnificent X some female in oots.
Sigvald the Magnificent is a hero in the warhammer game. He is Slaaneshs adopthed son. Slaanesh is a chaos god.Last edited by The Odor; 2009-11-17 at 10:29 AM.
Evil. Iam diffrent. Have a problem with that...
My avatarsSpoilerThanks To Dashwood for Spider avatar.
Thanks To Mr Saturn for Goth Man avatar.
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2009-11-17, 10:36 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2006
- Location
- England
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
A quick look at the original file reveals it to be 'Jenkins 2.0'.
Which I annoyingly no longer have on my computer, because it's asking me what I want to replace it with. Why are good fonts so hard to find?
From the dregs of my memory, I recall someone recounting how he had written a smutty slash fic for an english assignment. His teacher told him it was well written, but also told him that under no circumstances should he ever do it again.
Curiouser and curiouser, as they say. I thought the 'creature' and the 'observer' were the same person, but I've changed my mind now.Last edited by Zanaril; 2009-11-17 at 01:19 PM.
This post may contain sarcasm.
DeviantArt
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2009-11-17, 10:43 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Sep 2009
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2009-11-17, 11:19 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Apr 2008
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Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
Poor Oracle.
Actually, my girlfriend suggested the plot device of love letters. And then - eureka! I figured out how to make V x Elan work...
So, without further ado, I present one of the few samples of V x Elan this thread has probably seen so far.
V x Elan - Unrequited Love
Spoiler
Elan yawned as he awoke from his peaceful slumber, stretching his arms out to his sides to losen up his muscles. He felt his hand bump into something, and with bleary eyes he looked over to the see what was next to his bedroll. He had to blink a few times to make his eyes focus, but soon he was able to tell what the mysterious object was - a scroll. A small smile spread across Elan's sleepy features. This strange event had been going on for months, and he'd grown quite accustomed to it.
Somebody had an odd habit of leaving him love letters. Somehow, every few weeks somebody was able to sneak into his tent, room, or whatever place of resting he happened to be in at the time, and leave him a small scroll at some point during the night. In the morning, he would wake up to discover it, and its well-written words of romance would help him start his day off in a good mood. In retrospect, he'd realized that Haley had been writting the notes. She'd obviously had feelings for him for quite some time, longer than he'd been recieving the letters, so it was clear that she'd been the writer. Of course, he never talked to her about it - each letter specifically said that he was never to be mentioned to anyone, even the writer if he were to "discern their identity," whatever that meant. He figured it meant he shouldn't talk to Haley about it, since it would ruin the romantic-ness of it. Which was fine with him...
Of course, there was the issue of how he'd been able to recieve the letters while Haley was trapped in Azure City. But Elan wasn't one for logic - he believed that dramatic elements ursurped the laws of physics in most, if not all, situations. And the most powerful destroyer of logic was the power of True Love. It seemed very simple to him for the letters to still get to him, despite Haley's absence - the power of their love simply allowed them to stay connected, at least in their own special little way.
Elan picked up the scroll, and unfurled it. As his eyes danced across the elegant writing, a smile spread across his face. It sure was nice of Haley to go to such great lengths in the name of romance. He'd never heard her us such big words or fancy speech. He didn't even know what some of these words meant, only that they were some sort of compliment. It was quite meaningful for her to keep such eloquence of words saved for her special letters to him. Elan couldn't help but grin at the sheer amount of love that obviously had to go into such letters.
With a contented sigh, Elan rolled up the scroll and pulled a small pouch from under his pillow. He opened up the Bag of Holding, which had been given to him with the first scroll, and placed the newest letter of affection inside. He then placed it back under his pillow, let out another sigh, and got up from his cot to begin his day with a big smile on his face.
A few tents over, Vaarsuvius had a smile on her face, as well. It was a sad smile, however. With the Scrying spell she was using, she could see into Elan's tent, and watch him as he awoke to read her letter. It was dissappointing that Elan thought the letters were from Haley. And downright depressing that he was already with Haley, although V knew that even if he was available, no amount of magic would give her the courage needed to tell him her feelings face-to-face. So, for now, and likely forever, her affection for Elan would be unrecognized, and her love unreturned.
But at least she had the satisfaction of seeing the smile her letters brought to his face.
Aw... I feel sad now.
What'd ya'll think?Anemoia: Nostalgia for a time you've never known.
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2009-11-17, 11:23 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2006
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- England
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
This post may contain sarcasm.
DeviantArt
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2009-11-17, 11:33 AM (ISO 8601)
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- May 2009
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Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
It's cute; and promises much tension between V and Haley if the latter ever discovers the letters.
And we all know what kind of tension I'm talking about.Formerly known as Discord here and Maladin on avatarspirit.net.
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2009-11-17, 11:38 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Nov 2006
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- England
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
Last edited by Zanaril; 2009-11-17 at 11:55 AM.
This post may contain sarcasm.
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2009-11-17, 11:42 AM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
That's...that's a very sad story.
Poor V.
Very well written! *applause*
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2009-11-17, 12:00 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Sep 2009
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- Hell (Sweden)
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Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
Good Lycan 01. I am trying to stay away from V. I tested once With Miko and it got way to awwwwwy.
Evil. Iam diffrent. Have a problem with that...
My avatarsSpoilerThanks To Dashwood for Spider avatar.
Thanks To Mr Saturn for Goth Man avatar.
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2009-11-17, 12:14 PM (ISO 8601)
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- May 2009
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Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Formerly known as Discord here and Maladin on avatarspirit.net.
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2009-11-17, 01:21 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2007
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- Texas...for now
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Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
D'aaawwww. I normally hate Elan x anything, but that was really good.
[/sarcasm]
FAQ is not RAW!Avatar by the incredible CrimsonAngel.
Saph:It's surprising how many problems can be solved by one druid spell combined with enough aggression.
I play primarily 3.5 D&D. Most of my advice will be based off of this. If my advice doesn't apply, specify a version in your post.
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2009-11-17, 01:28 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Apr 2008
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Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
Wow, didn't expect people to like it that much. I expected a few people to say it was okay, but I didn't expect this much response...
I'll probably write up Celia x Thog after lunch.Anemoia: Nostalgia for a time you've never known.
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2009-11-17, 02:04 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Nov 2006
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- England
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
Last edited by Zanaril; 2009-11-17 at 02:16 PM.
This post may contain sarcasm.
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2009-11-17, 03:08 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
....AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! I love it!
Last edited by CoffeeIncluded; 2009-11-17 at 03:09 PM.
My webcomic!
Currently DMing:
Tales of Aequar: Runite's Rise IC
OOC Map
Playing Natalia Bolts,Jadeite Nocrius, and Soren Lowell
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2009-11-17, 03:23 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Apr 2008
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Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
Good job, Discord! That was pretty good... Poor Elan.
Why is V the most common crack fic character? Is there some reason why they're the most common participant in these tales? Is it because their gender mystery allows for so many options and jokes? Or because we all have such a good grasp of her personality, that they're the easiest person to keep in character and work with? I dunno, just something I thought about...Anemoia: Nostalgia for a time you've never known.
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2009-11-17, 03:25 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2009
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- New York
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Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
Yes to all of the above.
My webcomic!
Currently DMing:
Tales of Aequar: Runite's Rise IC
OOC Map
Playing Natalia Bolts,Jadeite Nocrius, and Soren Lowell
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2009-11-17, 03:25 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2008
- Location
- Germany
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Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
I nominate this for the Most Ridiculous Statement of the Year award.
Seriously, Discord. Nobody can pull off QuiRKyee!!! pairings like you can. :D And we've all tried. :D
Not to mention that I'm frankly surprised to even be on that list because I've only posted like three real fics at most...
Uh, didn't that thread merge with the House of Horrors thread a while ago?
Well, Vaarsuvius is an appealing character to write ANY sort of fanfiction about. For example, for some reason stoic, unapproachable characters are prime candidates for sweet angsty suffering in fanfiction. To coin a phrase from TVTropes, they "suffer beautifully". The character being physically fragile seems to be a bonus. V being an elf essentially amplifies that effect a dozen times.
I mean, look at how popular Xan is. Or Sand. Spock qualifies with the whole "stoic, unapproachable elf" part at the very least even if he's anything but fragile.
Then there's the fact that, yes, V IS pretty much the most complex character in the comic right now. Haley and Roy rival him in complexity, but their character development has not been nearly as poignant or dramatic. Redcloak is the only one who can hold a candle to V in that regard. But yeah, we probably know V's personality better and deeper than that of any of the cast, and that makes him easy to write. As contrasted with, say, Durkon, with whom I constantly have to pause and squirm and wonder what the hell he should do or say.
Beyond that, I'm as puzzled by this as you are. But happy. :)Last edited by Kaytara; 2009-11-17 at 03:40 PM.
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2009-11-17, 03:30 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Oct 2009
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- New York
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Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
We've all got our own talents here! For example: I'm good at posting comedic one-shots (At least you guys say I am), but there's no way I could do a...A novella like WaterSmurf can.
My webcomic!
Currently DMing:
Tales of Aequar: Runite's Rise IC
OOC Map
Playing Natalia Bolts,Jadeite Nocrius, and Soren Lowell
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2009-11-17, 03:34 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Nov 2008
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Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
*Takes a running jump onto the bandwagon*
I must concur, there is a richness that only comes from variety. And this richness is achieved daily in the Crack-Fic thread(s).
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2009-11-17, 03:41 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2006
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- England
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
Theres the list of possible reasons I've come up with:
1) Apart from the sketchy and dispationate relationship with Inky, apparently V hasn't shown any romatic interest in anything except hir spellbooks. V is also a very private, aloof person. The logical conclusion that our crack*-addled brains come to is that V has been getting it on every night since the comic started, but is just very good at hiding the multiple affairs.
2) As mentioned, the gender thing.
3) V is somewhat geeky. Not to generalise, but a lot of us probably are too. However we can't throw fire at people, so we're stuck idolising the squishy elf wizard. Writing fanfic about V is the closest we can get.
4) Fanfiction tends to be predisposed towards elves. Because they're just that great. You know how popular Legolas is? It's the same thing, just OOTS hasn't been turned into a film with V being acted by someone with the emotion of a cardboard cutout.
5) V being aloof just makes us want to pry further.
As usual, Kaytara has put it a lot more eloquently.
*the legal type.Last edited by Zanaril; 2009-11-17 at 03:42 PM.
This post may contain sarcasm.
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2009-11-17, 03:44 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2009
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- Alaska
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Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
Your local Cleric.
Cleric of the Murphy's Law Thread
(yes, that is possible)
"Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines."
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2009-11-17, 03:52 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2009
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- A nice, sparkly place.
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
I... am back!
*Does heroic pose*
Oooooo are those cookie's for me!
*Runs off and chows down*
Ummm... where's the milk?
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2009-11-17, 03:56 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2009
- Location
- Alaska
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Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
*runs off to the fridge*
Here you go! Coffee missed you.Your local Cleric.
Cleric of the Murphy's Law Thread
(yes, that is possible)
"Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines."
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2009-11-17, 03:59 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2009
- Location
- New York
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
Whole or skim?
*Checks fridge*
Ooh! I found coffee ice cream in the freezer!
*Chows down*My webcomic!
Currently DMing:
Tales of Aequar: Runite's Rise IC
OOC Map
Playing Natalia Bolts,Jadeite Nocrius, and Soren Lowell
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2009-11-17, 04:01 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2008
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Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
*Puppy-dog eyes at CoffeeIncluded*
Share and share alike?
*Holds aloft some double-chocolate chip cookies*