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2010-01-02, 06:37 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2006
- Location
- England
Re: Crack Pairings V - We Revel in Infamy
This post may contain sarcasm.
DeviantArt
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2010-01-02, 06:38 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2008
- Location
- Sevy, Melville
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings V - We Revel in Infamy
I thought the pony-tailed chick would be as obvious as the others, but it seems not.
Beware the many wrong things in this spoiler!SpoilerThe Order of the Stick Jr.
Meet : Alexander, Joan, Ross, Leilandius, Hitomi, Ngoc and Arduvanius
As interpreted (and drawn) by yours truly, Yiuel
Yiuel LeMelvillois
Only on blank paper do we write the best stories...
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2010-01-02, 06:43 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jun 2009
- Location
- Minnesota, ya?
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings V - We Revel in Infamy
Is she Belkar and Jenny's daughter? Cuz he's the only one I don't see represented there.
...And that is how I met your father.
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2010-01-02, 06:44 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2008
Re: Crack Pairings V - We Revel in Infamy
Sorry to distract, but while I struggle for inspiration, I would like to draw attention to a long neglected thing done on threads like this.
Prompts.
Basically, you get given fifty words, and have to write a sentence or two about your chosen pairing for each one.Nadir We,
Youth Born,
Blood Letters,
Axe Weilders,
Victors Still.
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2010-01-02, 06:50 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2009
- Location
- New York
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings V - We Revel in Infamy
Last edited by CoffeeIncluded; 2010-01-02 at 06:52 PM.
My webcomic!
Currently DMing:
Tales of Aequar: Runite's Rise IC
OOC Map
Playing Natalia Bolts,Jadeite Nocrius, and Soren Lowell
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2010-01-02, 07:31 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Apr 2005
- Location
- Montreal
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings V - We Revel in Infamy
Here's Shojo/Belkar
SpoilerIt was a temperate mid-winter morning amid the great equatorially placed City of the Southern Lands known as Azure City. A halfling of diminutive size and intellect, atop a pair of stilts and garbed in the telltale cloak of a Sapphire Guard paladin. He approached the throne room and addressed the Paladin identified as O-Chul.
"I seek an audience with Lord Shojo, master of Azure City and its surrounding territories. I have a pre-existing appointment."
"Yes, the schedule confirms the validity of your statement" O-Chul, a man of few words, simply replied.
"Then allow me private access such that I may converse with our master, such that I may have reassurance of our respective goals, oh paladin with whom I share membership with." Belkar said in a slight mocking tone.
O-Chul, not an unwise man, had always suspected something was irregular with the strange paladin that stayed with the adventuring band known as The Order of the Stick, but his train of thought was abruptly interrupted by the calls of his seemingly senile lord. "Mr Scruffy, our 10 o'clock temporary companion has arrived. Do you wish to greet him with an endowment of salt water Acipenseridae? O-Chul, please secure the barricade, for Mr. Scruffy desires privacy."
O-Chul, endlessly frustrated with his master's peculiarities but nonetheless loyal and upholding of the legislations of Azure City, obliged and let the disguised halfling entrance.
Upon confirming the door's security, Lord Shojo halted the act and greeted the despicable halfling with a warm tone, one refined by decades of experience in dealing with those with whom he had little desire to have extended contact with.
"Unwanted burden of Sir Greenhilt, what is it that you wish to inconvenience my existence with?" Lord Shojo inquired politely, confident that he could survive any assault the halfling could lay upon him long enough for the Mark of Justice engraved upon Belkar's head to incapacitate him and alarm the guards.
Steeling up something that he had been repressing for some time, he exhaled then spoke, "Please Master Shojo, I desire to be your concubine." Belkar begged the aged human.
Surprised and disturbed at this proclamation of lust, Shojo backed slightly away from the miniature hormone driven ranger, then stammered out, "I am flattered, violent, impulsive and libidinous wretch of a sentient being and shame of the Bitterleaf clan, but I cannot accept your offer of sexual vassalage."
Agonized by the rejection, Belkar sulked, then inquired to the nature of it, "But why not? It is what I desire more than anything I can conceive of in this primitive lump of neurons lodged in my cerebellum."
Calling upon his endless skill in subterfuge and machinations used to keep a force of paladins and an active nobility seeking to usurp his power in the dark of his mental faculties, he stated to the lecherous halfing in the hopes of assuaging him in case he disregards the risk of the curse laid upon him meant to prevent him from inducing bodily harm upon living entities, "Um... although I am flattered at your declaration of concubinage, I have dedicated my life to celibacy, for fear that my enemies try to use my sexual proclivities against me. As well, my age, though not significant amongst other species, is considered very advanced for humans, and the stress of running Azure City under so many layers of deception has weakened my cardiovascular system as well as my capacity for maintaining erection. I fear I could not be an acceptable partner in such a situation. And lastly, among humans, I individuals of your stature are typically children, and conjugal interaction with the young is universally considered taboo, even among the savage humanoids. I know that ogres will bludgeon to death pederasts. I apologize, but a relationship with you cannot happen." The truth was much simpler. Lord Shojo preferred heterosexual consummation exclusively, and even if he did not, Belkar was a disgusting and horrific individual that any degree of familiarity would make sexual liaison with him far too disturbing to be desirable.
Distraught, the abhorrent entity known as Belkar donned again his garb meant to distract local authorities from his true identity, then proceeded to douse his sorrows in intoxicating beverages and women of loose morals. And so concludes the tale of the failed relationship betwixt Lord Shojo and Belkar Bitterleaf.
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Vaarsuvius, I think ye need to admit yer theory was flawed.
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2010-01-02, 07:35 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2009
- Location
- New York
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings V - We Revel in Infamy
My webcomic!
Currently DMing:
Tales of Aequar: Runite's Rise IC
OOC Map
Playing Natalia Bolts,Jadeite Nocrius, and Soren Lowell
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2010-01-02, 08:24 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2009
- Location
- Among the spiders
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings V - We Revel in Infamy
This post is going to be short because my brother is doing college applications and needs the Internet as soon as he's done with dinner.
I wanted to say that my Christmas present is still valid for anyone who wants to request something until my school starts again. And speaking of requests, I'm almost done with the first one.
I'm saving any replies I have for the next post after my brother's done.
Spoiler
The April Squickies Award for Best Crack Pairing Story
Thank you so much to Kaytara for the avatar! It's of Redcloak's and Vaarsuvius's love child.
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2010-01-02, 08:50 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
- Gender
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2010-01-02, 08:53 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2009
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings V - We Revel in Infamy
Formerly known as Discord here and Maladin on avatarspirit.net.
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2010-01-02, 09:16 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2009
- Location
- New York
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings V - We Revel in Infamy
Hey guys, I think I found a new recruit!
My webcomic!
Currently DMing:
Tales of Aequar: Runite's Rise IC
OOC Map
Playing Natalia Bolts,Jadeite Nocrius, and Soren Lowell
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2010-01-02, 09:21 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
- Gender
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2010-01-02, 09:28 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2009
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings V - We Revel in Infamy
I don't get it.
Anyway, I managed to whip up some writing. It's very short, more of an intro to a story I'll never write than anything, which means I haven't cried too much.
SpoilerHaley smiled as she woke up. She could feel a warm body over her, a wonderful feeling she had been reintroduced to ever since she had reunited with Elan. His head rested besides her own, which she slowly turned until their lips faced each other. Not caring that he wasn't awake yet, she kissed him lovingly.
As her senses roused themselves from sleep, she realized his lips felt different. They were softer and had a subtler, fresher taste, slightly reminding her of a forest. Intrigued, she took a deep breath, inhaling his smell. It was different as well, reminiscent of flowers.
She moved her arms, previously resting on his waist, up his body and was surprised to have her fingers meet hair as soon as between his shoulder blades. There was only one member of the Order who had such long hair now, she thought, worried. Ever so slowly, she moved her hand to the side of his head and touched his ear and froze as she discovered it was long and pointed.Last edited by Dark Faun; 2010-01-03 at 04:21 AM.
Formerly known as Discord here and Maladin on avatarspirit.net.
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2010-01-02, 09:32 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2009
- Location
- New York
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings V - We Revel in Infamy
So, how much did Haley and V drink the previous night?
Seriously, Discord, I don't know why you think your writing is so horrible!
I mean that I showed one of my friends this site and one of my crack pairings.
She LOVED it.
She's considering joining once she reads the OOTS archive.
She likes to write and draw manga, she's a nerd, and I found some yaoi in one of her sketchbooks.
So, she'll fit in perfectly here!Last edited by CoffeeIncluded; 2010-01-02 at 09:33 PM.
My webcomic!
Currently DMing:
Tales of Aequar: Runite's Rise IC
OOC Map
Playing Natalia Bolts,Jadeite Nocrius, and Soren Lowell
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2010-01-02, 09:33 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
- Gender
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2010-01-02, 09:33 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2009
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings V - We Revel in Infamy
Haha, I'm wondering too.
Really, please write more.
Ah, yes, you mentioned her as well as your other friend.
I actually don't think my writing is horrible, it's just that, for some reason, writing hurts me.Last edited by Dark Faun; 2010-01-02 at 09:53 PM.
Formerly known as Discord here and Maladin on avatarspirit.net.
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2010-01-02, 09:34 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2009
- Location
- New York
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings V - We Revel in Infamy
Last edited by CoffeeIncluded; 2010-01-02 at 09:34 PM.
My webcomic!
Currently DMing:
Tales of Aequar: Runite's Rise IC
OOC Map
Playing Natalia Bolts,Jadeite Nocrius, and Soren Lowell
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2010-01-02, 09:36 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2009
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings V - We Revel in Infamy
Like I implied with "for some reason," I actually don't know why. Maybe it's just winter. This season tends to depress people.
Aw, what fun is there if the mind is not innocent? You can't corrupt the already tainted!Formerly known as Discord here and Maladin on avatarspirit.net.
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2010-01-02, 09:44 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Apr 2005
- Location
- Montreal
- Gender
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2010-01-02, 09:46 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2009
- Location
- New York
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings V - We Revel in Infamy
Last edited by CoffeeIncluded; 2010-01-02 at 09:47 PM.
My webcomic!
Currently DMing:
Tales of Aequar: Runite's Rise IC
OOC Map
Playing Natalia Bolts,Jadeite Nocrius, and Soren Lowell
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2010-01-02, 09:54 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2009
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings V - We Revel in Infamy
Thanks.
Haha, she's not tainted enough until she starts shipping incest I guess? (I'm looking at you, Zanie. )
Hm, I wonder if V's children are one boy and one girl...Last edited by Dark Faun; 2010-01-02 at 09:56 PM.
Formerly known as Discord here and Maladin on avatarspirit.net.
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2010-01-02, 09:57 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2009
- Location
- New York
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings V - We Revel in Infamy
Last edited by CoffeeIncluded; 2010-01-02 at 09:58 PM.
My webcomic!
Currently DMing:
Tales of Aequar: Runite's Rise IC
OOC Map
Playing Natalia Bolts,Jadeite Nocrius, and Soren Lowell
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2010-01-02, 09:58 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jun 2009
- Location
- Minnesota, ya?
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings V - We Revel in Infamy
Well, shipping V's kids with each other may not be true incest. They are adopted, after all.
EDIT: And Discord, I enjoyed your story as well.Last edited by Meg; 2010-01-02 at 09:59 PM.
...And that is how I met your father.
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2010-01-02, 10:05 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2009
- Gender
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2010-01-02, 10:08 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2009
- Location
- New York
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings V - We Revel in Infamy
Last edited by CoffeeIncluded; 2010-01-02 at 10:09 PM.
My webcomic!
Currently DMing:
Tales of Aequar: Runite's Rise IC
OOC Map
Playing Natalia Bolts,Jadeite Nocrius, and Soren Lowell
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2010-01-02, 10:23 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2009
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings V - We Revel in Infamy
Haha, but I'm not actually interested in slash (fem or otherwise).
Anyway, remember Haley's "I kissed a girl once - okay, okay, more than once!"? What if we mixed that up with, say, her discovering that V was a girl?Last edited by Dark Faun; 2010-01-02 at 10:24 PM.
Formerly known as Discord here and Maladin on avatarspirit.net.
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2010-01-02, 10:26 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2009
- Location
- New York
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings V - We Revel in Infamy
My webcomic!
Currently DMing:
Tales of Aequar: Runite's Rise IC
OOC Map
Playing Natalia Bolts,Jadeite Nocrius, and Soren Lowell
-
2010-01-02, 10:42 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2009
- Location
- Poland
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings V - We Revel in Infamy
Here's my new picture -Haley x Duct Tape Thing from Water-Smurf's story
Spoiler
I wanted to draw full battle scene to creature's death , but it's arleady nearly 5 AM in here and I'm veeery sleepy . I really liked Water-Smurf's story (and others too) ,and Zanaril's drawing of VxTsukiko was awesome too. I also really liked Your comic, Coffe . Can't wait for more.
< yawns loudly >
Goodnight, I'm going to bed now
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2010-01-02, 10:49 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2008
- Location
- Sevy, Melville
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings V - We Revel in Infamy
Well, I decided to go straight and have Belkar die childless.
But I really thought some people among you would get the Monk reference (see last panel). It seems I have made a mistake.
Since someone already did the obviously implied pairing (Durkon/Lien), and I am sure, from reading what has been done here, that a crackpairing involving the two adoptive children of our beloved V seems a bit too squicky even for this thread... I might perhaps have fun describing the crackpairing of the highly hypothetic children of Roy/Celia and Elan/Haley I imagined. (Keeping in mind that the girl does look much like Elan, for the purpose of more squickiness for Roy...)Beware the many wrong things in this spoiler!SpoilerThe Order of the Stick Jr.
Meet : Alexander, Joan, Ross, Leilandius, Hitomi, Ngoc and Arduvanius
As interpreted (and drawn) by yours truly, Yiuel
Yiuel LeMelvillois
Only on blank paper do we write the best stories...
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2010-01-02, 11:01 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2009
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings V - We Revel in Infamy
Lemme guess, Elan's daughter is a cleric of Banjo, right?
Very good comic, half-halfling.Formerly known as Discord here and Maladin on avatarspirit.net.