Shippingitp III: We Make Love (And Sometimes War)

[Mordokai]

Only if I get to be Scrooge.

...I'm starting to feel sorry for Curly...she hasn't even been gone more than a few days and we're already butting up against the next index update...

Can I be little Timmy then?

[ghost_warlock]

Edit: Oh, GW is totally the Ghost of Christmas Future... but I won't reveal any more roles...

Oh, and I was totally going to post a video showing how GoCP-GW would go all crazy on Scrooge, hit him with a folding chair or something. But I couldn't find anything done tastefully for some reason.

[Dirk Kris]

How the Grinch Stole Christmas starring Cristo as Cristo-Lou Who/Mordokai as the Grinch/Wolfbane as Max the dog

Spoiler

Show

Every Who Down in Whoville Liked Christmas a lot...
But the Grinch, Who lived just north of Whoville, Did NOT!
The Grinch hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season!
Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.

"Dirk, are you actually doing this to me?"
"Shut up. You're ruining the poem."
"...I hate you. You know that, don't you?"
"Oh, come on. It's not all THAT bad, is it?"
"Easy for you to say! I'm a freakin' GIRL!"
"Not like it's the first time..."
"Shut. Up. Before I hurt you. Let's just get this over with, alright?"
"I'm so lovin' this... *ahem*"

It could be his head wasn't screwed on just right.
It could be, perhaps, that his shoes were too tight.
But I think that the most likely reason of all,
May have been that his heart was two sizes too small.

"His heart was too small? That's not what she said."
"Awwww, come on! Diiiiiiiiiiirk, Cristo's ruuuuuuining the stooooooooooory."
"That's it, Cristo. I was going to let you get away with just a big t-shirt, but now you've got to put on the dress."
"Dude. No way."
"Now, or you'll have to wear the bloomers and wig too."
"Fine."

Whatever the reason, His heart or his shoes,
He stood there on Christmas Eve, hating the Whos,
Staring down from his cave with a sour, Grinchy frown,
At the warm lighted windows below in their town.
For he knew every Who down in Whoville beneath,
Was busy now, hanging a mistletoe wreath.
"And they're hanging their stockings!" he snarled with a sneer,
"Tomorrow is Christmas! It's practically here!"
Then he growled, with his Grinch fingers nervously drumming,
"I MUST find some way to stop Christmas from coming!"

"That's something else she said."
"Diiiiiiirk..."
"Last warning. Let's get on with it."

For Tomorrow, he knew, all the Who girls and boys,
Would wake bright and early. They'd rush for their toys!
And then! Oh, the noise! Oh, the Noise!
Noise! Noise! Noise!
That's one thing he hated! The NOISE!
NOISE! NOISE! NOISE!
Then the Whos, young and old, would sit down to a feast.
And they'd feast! And they'd feast! And they'd FEAST!
FEAST! FEAST! FEAST!

"Here comes my favorite part."
"Easy there, Wolfbane. Your tail...keeps...whacking...me...in the face."
"Oh, sorry. Don't want to upset the narrator. I'd hate to end up in a dress, too."
"I hate you all so, so very much."

They would feast on Who-pudding, and rare Who-roast beast.
Which was something the Grinch couldn't stand in the least!
And THEN They'd do something He liked least of all!
Every Who down in Whoville, the tall and the small,
Would stand close together, with Christmas bells ringing.
They'd stand hand-in-hand. And the Whos would start singing!
They'd sing! And they'd sing! And they'd SING!
SING! SING! SING!
And the more the Grinch thought of this Who ChristmasSing,
The more the Grinch thought, "I must stop this whole thing!"
"Why, for fifty-three years I've put up with it now!"
"I MUST stop this Christmas from coming! But HOW?"
Then he got an idea! An awful idea!
THE GRINCH GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!
"I know just what to do!"

"Because we all know what a thinker Mordokai is."
"That's it. Wig and bloomers - NOW!"

The Grinch laughed in his throat.
And he made a quick Santy Claus hat and a coat.
And he chuckled, and clucked, "What a great Grinchy trick!"
"With this coat and this hat, I look just like Saint Nick!"
"All I need is a reindeer..." The Grinch looked around.
But, since reindeer are scarce, there was none to be found.
Did that stop the old Grinch? No! The Grinch simply said,
"If I can't find a reindeer, I'll make one instead!"
So he called his dog, Max. Then he took some red thread,
And he tied a big horn on the top of his head.
THEN He loaded some bags And some old empty sacks,
On a ramshackle sleigh And he hitched up old Max.

"Here I am, baby! And I'm horny!"
"Um, they're called antlers..."
"I'm antlery! Meh, horny sounded better."
"Easy, boy. Don't make me get the rolled-up newspaper."
"Yeah, now get down on all fours!"
"Um..."
"Well, he is the Grinch..."

Then the Grinch said, "Giddap!" And the sleigh started down,
Toward the homes where the Whos Lay asnooze in their town.
All their windows were dark. Quiet snow filled the air.
All the Whos were all dreaming sweet dreams without care.
When he came to the first little house on the square.
"This is stop number one," the old Grinchy Claus hissed,
And he climbed to the roof, empty bags in his fist.
Then he slid down the chimney. A rather tight pinch.
But, if Santa could do it, then so could the Grinch.
He got stuck only once, for a moment or two.
Then he stuck his head out of the fireplace flue.

"Wonder what got stuck. His head or his gut."
"Did...did you just call me fat? Well, that dress makes you look like a hippo."
"That was really mean, Mordokai. *sniffle*"
"Well, you do kinda look fat."
"Mmmmm, look good enough to eat. Come here, little girl, and tell me what large teeth I have..."
"Wrong story. Down boy."

Where the little Who stockings all hung in a row.
"These stockings," he grinned, "are the first things to go!"
Then he slithered and slunk, with a smile most unpleasant,
Around the whole room, and he took every present!
Pop guns! And bicycles! Roller skates! Drums!
Checkerboards! Tricycles! Popcorn! And plums!

"No iPods or Guitar Hero? Pfffft, take the crap then, I don't want it."

And he stuffed them in bags. Then the Grinch, very nimbly,
Stuffed all the bags, one by one, up the chimney!
Then he slunk to the icebox. He took the Whos' feast!
He took the Who-pudding! He took the roast beast!
He cleaned out that icebox as quick as a flash.
Why, that Grinch even took their last can of Who-hash!
Then he stuffed all the food up the chimney with glee.
"And NOW!" grinned the Grinch, "I will stuff up the tree!"
And the Grinch grabbed the tree, and he started to shove,
When he heard a small sound like the coo of a dove.
He turned around fast, and he saw a small Who!
Little Cristo-Lou Who, who was not more than two.

"Awww, isn't she cuuuuuuuuuuute?"
"Dirk, I will never, ever forgive you for this."
"Meh, I can live with that. Now come here and let me pinch those rosy little cheeks."

The Grinch had been caught by this tiny Who daughter,
Who'd got out of bed for a cup of cold water.
She stared at the Grinch and said, "Santy Claus, why,”
"Why are you taking our Christmas tree? WHY?"
But, you know, that old Grinch was so smart and so slick,
He thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick!
"Why, my sweet little tot," the fake Santy Claus lied,
"There's a light on this tree that won't light on one side."
"So I'm taking it home to my workshop, my dear."
"I'll fix it up there. Then I'll bring it back here."

"Just for the record, I never would have fallen for that."

And his fib fooled the child. Then he patted her head,
And he got her a drink and he sent her to bed.
And when CristoLou Who went to bed with her cup,
HE went to the chimney and stuffed the tree up!
Then the last thing he took Was the log for their fire!
Then he went up the chimney, himself, the old liar.
On their walls he left nothing but hooks and some wire.
And the one speck of food That he left in the house,
Was a crumb that was even too small for a mouse.

"Dude, you're a real bastard."
"And you're a little girl who's up past her bedtime. Shut it."

Then He did the same thing To the other Whos' houses
Leaving crumbs Much too small For the other Whos' mouses!
It was quarter past dawn... All the Whos, still a-bed,
All the Whos, still asnooze When he packed up his sled,
Packed it up with their presents! The ribbons! The wrappings!
The tags! And the tinsel! The trimmings! The trappings!
Three thousand feet up! Up the side of Mt. Crumpit,
He rode with his load to the tiptop to dump it!
"PoohPooh to the Whos!" he was grinchishly humming.
"They're finding out now that no Christmas is coming!"
"They're just waking up! I know just what they'll do!"
"Their mouths will hang open a minute or two,
Then the Whos down in Whoville will all cry BooHoo!"
"That's a noise," grinned the Grinch, "That I simply MUST hear!"

"*snicker* You said poo-poo."

So he paused. And the Grinch put his hand to his ear.
And he did hear a sound rising over the snow.
It started in low. Then it started to grow.
But the sound wasn't sad! Why, this sound sounded merry!
It couldn't be so! But it WAS merry! VERY!
He stared down at Whoville! The Grinch popped his eyes!
Then he shook! What he saw was a shocking surprise!
Every Who down in Whoville, the tall and the small,
Was singing! Without any presents at all!
He HADN'T stopped Christmas from coming! IT CAME!
Somehow or other, it came just the same!

"That's what..."
"Yeah, yeah, that's what SHE said. We get it."
"Get on with it.
"Get on with it."
"GET ON WITH IT!"
"...we're almost done, right?"
"That's what SHE said..."

And the Grinch, with his grinch-feet ice-cold in the snow,
Stood puzzling and puzzling: "How could it be so?"
"It came with out ribbons! It came without tags!"
"It came without packages, boxes or bags!"
And he puzzled three hours, till his puzzler was sore.
Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before!
"Maybe Christmas," he thought, "doesn't come from a store."
"Maybe Christmas...perhaps...means a little bit more!"
And what happened then? Well...in Whoville they say,
That the Grinch's small heart Grew three sizes that day!
And the minute his heart didn't feel quite so tight,
He whizzed with his load through the bright morning light,
And he brought back the toys! And the food for the feast!
And he, HE HIMSELF! The Grinch carved the roast beast!

[TwoBitWriter]

How the Grinch Stole Christmas starring Cristo as Cristo-Lou Who/Mordokai as the Grinch/Wolfbane as Max the dog

Spoiler

Show

Every Who Down in Whoville Liked Christmas a lot...
But the Grinch, Who lived just north of Whoville, Did NOT!
The Grinch hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season!
Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.

"Dirk, are you actually doing this to me?"
"Shut up. You're ruining the poem."
"...I hate you. You know that, don't you?"
"Oh, come on. It's not all THAT bad, is it?"
"Easy for you to say! I'm a freakin' GIRL!"
"Not like it's the first time..."
"Shut. Up. Before I hurt you. Let's just get this over with, alright?"
"I'm so lovin' this... *ahem*"

It could be his head wasn't screwed on just right.
It could be, perhaps, that his shoes were too tight.
But I think that the most likely reason of all,
May have been that his heart was two sizes too small.

"His heart was too small? That's not what she said."
"Awwww, come on! Diiiiiiiiiiirk, Cristo's ruuuuuuining the stooooooooooory."
"That's it, Cristo. I was going to let you get away with just a big t-shirt, but now you've got to put on the dress."
"Dude. No way."
"Now, or you'll have to wear the bloomers and wig too."
"Fine."

Whatever the reason, His heart or his shoes,
He stood there on Christmas Eve, hating the Whos,
Staring down from his cave with a sour, Grinchy frown,
At the warm lighted windows below in their town.
For he knew every Who down in Whoville beneath,
Was busy now, hanging a mistletoe wreath.
"And they're hanging their stockings!" he snarled with a sneer,
"Tomorrow is Christmas! It's practically here!"
Then he growled, with his Grinch fingers nervously drumming,
"I MUST find some way to stop Christmas from coming!"

"That's something else she said."
"Diiiiiiirk..."
"Last warning. Let's get on with it."

For Tomorrow, he knew, all the Who girls and boys,
Would wake bright and early. They'd rush for their toys!
And then! Oh, the noise! Oh, the Noise!
Noise! Noise! Noise!
That's one thing he hated! The NOISE!
NOISE! NOISE! NOISE!
Then the Whos, young and old, would sit down to a feast.
And they'd feast! And they'd feast! And they'd FEAST!
FEAST! FEAST! FEAST!

"Here comes my favorite part."
"Easy there, Wolfbane. Your tail...keeps...whacking...me...in the face."
"Oh, sorry. Don't want to upset the narrator. I'd hate to end up in a dress, too."
"I hate you all so, so very much."

They would feast on Who-pudding, and rare Who-roast beast.
Which was something the Grinch couldn't stand in the least!
And THEN They'd do something He liked least of all!
Every Who down in Whoville, the tall and the small,
Would stand close together, with Christmas bells ringing.
They'd stand hand-in-hand. And the Whos would start singing!
They'd sing! And they'd sing! And they'd SING!
SING! SING! SING!
And the more the Grinch thought of this Who ChristmasSing,
The more the Grinch thought, "I must stop this whole thing!"
"Why, for fifty-three years I've put up with it now!"
"I MUST stop this Christmas from coming! But HOW?"
Then he got an idea! An awful idea!
THE GRINCH GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!
"I know just what to do!"

"Because we all know what a thinker Mordokai is."
"That's it. Wig and bloomers - NOW!"

The Grinch laughed in his throat.
And he made a quick Santy Claus hat and a coat.
And he chuckled, and clucked, "What a great Grinchy trick!"
"With this coat and this hat, I look just like Saint Nick!"
"All I need is a reindeer..." The Grinch looked around.
But, since reindeer are scarce, there was none to be found.
Did that stop the old Grinch? No! The Grinch simply said,
"If I can't find a reindeer, I'll make one instead!"
So he called his dog, Max. Then he took some red thread,
And he tied a big horn on the top of his head.
THEN He loaded some bags And some old empty sacks,
On a ramshackle sleigh And he hitched up old Max.

"Here I am, baby! And I'm horny!"
"Um, they're called antlers..."
"I'm antlery! Meh, horny sounded better."
"Easy, boy. Don't make me get the rolled-up newspaper."
"Yeah, now get down on all fours!"
"Um..."
"Well, he is the Grinch..."

Then the Grinch said, "Giddap!" And the sleigh started down,
Toward the homes where the Whos Lay asnooze in their town.
All their windows were dark. Quiet snow filled the air.
All the Whos were all dreaming sweet dreams without care.
When he came to the first little house on the square.
"This is stop number one," the old Grinchy Claus hissed,
And he climbed to the roof, empty bags in his fist.
Then he slid down the chimney. A rather tight pinch.
But, if Santa could do it, then so could the Grinch.
He got stuck only once, for a moment or two.
Then he stuck his head out of the fireplace flue.

"Wonder what got stuck. His head or his gut."
"Did...did you just call me fat? Well, that dress makes you look like a hippo."
"That was really mean, Mordokai. *sniffle*"
"Well, you do kinda look fat."
"Mmmmm, look good enough to eat. Come here, little girl, and tell me what large teeth I have..."
"Wrong story. Down boy."

Where the little Who stockings all hung in a row.
"These stockings," he grinned, "are the first things to go!"
Then he slithered and slunk, with a smile most unpleasant,
Around the whole room, and he took every present!
Pop guns! And bicycles! Roller skates! Drums!
Checkerboards! Tricycles! Popcorn! And plums!

"No iPods or Guitar Hero? Pfffft, take the crap then, I don't want it."

And he stuffed them in bags. Then the Grinch, very nimbly,
Stuffed all the bags, one by one, up the chimney!
Then he slunk to the icebox. He took the Whos' feast!
He took the Who-pudding! He took the roast beast!
He cleaned out that icebox as quick as a flash.
Why, that Grinch even took their last can of Who-hash!
Then he stuffed all the food up the chimney with glee.
"And NOW!" grinned the Grinch, "I will stuff up the tree!"
And the Grinch grabbed the tree, and he started to shove,
When he heard a small sound like the coo of a dove.
He turned around fast, and he saw a small Who!
Little Cristo-Lou Who, who was not more than two.

"Awww, isn't she cuuuuuuuuuuute?"
"Dirk, I will never, ever forgive you for this."
"Meh, I can live with that. Now come here and let me pinch those rosy little cheeks."

The Grinch had been caught by this tiny Who daughter,
Who'd got out of bed for a cup of cold water.
She stared at the Grinch and said, "Santy Claus, why,”
"Why are you taking our Christmas tree? WHY?"
But, you know, that old Grinch was so smart and so slick,
He thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick!
"Why, my sweet little tot," the fake Santy Claus lied,
"There's a light on this tree that won't light on one side."
"So I'm taking it home to my workshop, my dear."
"I'll fix it up there. Then I'll bring it back here."

"Just for the record, I never would have fallen for that."

And his fib fooled the child. Then he patted her head,
And he got her a drink and he sent her to bed.
And when CristoLou Who went to bed with her cup,
HE went to the chimney and stuffed the tree up!
Then the last thing he took Was the log for their fire!
Then he went up the chimney, himself, the old liar.
On their walls he left nothing but hooks and some wire.
And the one speck of food That he left in the house,
Was a crumb that was even too small for a mouse.

"Dude, you're a real bastard."
"And you're a little girl who's up past her bedtime. Shut it."

Then He did the same thing To the other Whos' houses
Leaving crumbs Much too small For the other Whos' mouses!
It was quarter past dawn... All the Whos, still a-bed,
All the Whos, still asnooze When he packed up his sled,
Packed it up with their presents! The ribbons! The wrappings!
The tags! And the tinsel! The trimmings! The trappings!
Three thousand feet up! Up the side of Mt. Crumpit,
He rode with his load to the tiptop to dump it!
"PoohPooh to the Whos!" he was grinchishly humming.
"They're finding out now that no Christmas is coming!"
"They're just waking up! I know just what they'll do!"
"Their mouths will hang open a minute or two,
Then the Whos down in Whoville will all cry BooHoo!"
"That's a noise," grinned the Grinch, "That I simply MUST hear!"

"*snicker* You said poo-poo."

So he paused. And the Grinch put his hand to his ear.
And he did hear a sound rising over the snow.
It started in low. Then it started to grow.
But the sound wasn't sad! Why, this sound sounded merry!
It couldn't be so! But it WAS merry! VERY!
He stared down at Whoville! The Grinch popped his eyes!
Then he shook! What he saw was a shocking surprise!
Every Who down in Whoville, the tall and the small,
Was singing! Without any presents at all!
He HADN'T stopped Christmas from coming! IT CAME!
Somehow or other, it came just the same!

"That's what..."
"Yeah, yeah, that's what SHE said. We get it."
"Get on with it.
"Get on with it."
"GET ON WITH IT!"
"...we're almost done, right?"

And the Grinch, with his grinch-feet ice-cold in the snow,
Stood puzzling and puzzling: "How could it be so?"
"It came with out ribbons! It came without tags!"
"It came without packages, boxes or bags!"
And he puzzled three hours, till his puzzler was sore.
Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before!
"Maybe Christmas," he thought, "doesn't come from a store."
"Maybe Christmas...perhaps...means a little bit more!"
And what happened then? Well...in Whoville they say,
That the Grinch's small heart Grew three sizes that day!
And the minute his heart didn't feel quite so tight,
He whizzed with his load through the bright morning light,
And he brought back the toys! And the food for the feast!
And he, HE HIMSELF! The Grinch carved the roast beast!

That is all...

Edit: @Mordokai: If you want...

[Cristo Meyers]

...most of my commentary has already been written into the story.

[ghost_warlock]

How the Grinch Stole Christmas starring Cristo as Cristo-Lou Who/Mordokai as the Grinch/Wolfbane as Max the dog

Spoiler

Show

Every Who Down in Whoville Liked Christmas a lot...
But the Grinch, Who lived just north of Whoville, Did NOT!
The Grinch hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season!
Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.

"Dirk, are you actually doing this to me?"
"Shut up. You're ruining the poem."
"...I hate you. You know that, don't you?"
"Oh, come on. It's not all THAT bad, is it?"
"Easy for you to say! I'm a freakin' GIRL!"
"Not like it's the first time..."
"Shut. Up. Before I hurt you. Let's just get this over with, alright?"
"I'm so lovin' this... *ahem*"

It could be his head wasn't screwed on just right.
It could be, perhaps, that his shoes were too tight.
But I think that the most likely reason of all,
May have been that his heart was two sizes too small.

"His heart was too small? That's not what she said."
"Awwww, come on! Diiiiiiiiiiirk, Cristo's ruuuuuuining the stooooooooooory."
"That's it, Cristo. I was going to let you get away with just a big t-shirt, but now you've got to put on the dress."
"Dude. No way."
"Now, or you'll have to wear the bloomers and wig too."
"Fine."

Whatever the reason, His heart or his shoes,
He stood there on Christmas Eve, hating the Whos,
Staring down from his cave with a sour, Grinchy frown,
At the warm lighted windows below in their town.
For he knew every Who down in Whoville beneath,
Was busy now, hanging a mistletoe wreath.
"And they're hanging their stockings!" he snarled with a sneer,
"Tomorrow is Christmas! It's practically here!"
Then he growled, with his Grinch fingers nervously drumming,
"I MUST find some way to stop Christmas from coming!"

"That's something else she said."
"Diiiiiiirk..."
"Last warning. Let's get on with it."

For Tomorrow, he knew, all the Who girls and boys,
Would wake bright and early. They'd rush for their toys!
And then! Oh, the noise! Oh, the Noise!
Noise! Noise! Noise!
That's one thing he hated! The NOISE!
NOISE! NOISE! NOISE!
Then the Whos, young and old, would sit down to a feast.
And they'd feast! And they'd feast! And they'd FEAST!
FEAST! FEAST! FEAST!

"Here comes my favorite part."
"Easy there, Wolfbane. Your tail...keeps...whacking...me...in the face."
"Oh, sorry. Don't want to upset the narrator. I'd hate to end up in a dress, too."
"I hate you all so, so very much."

They would feast on Who-pudding, and rare Who-roast beast.
Which was something the Grinch couldn't stand in the least!
And THEN They'd do something He liked least of all!
Every Who down in Whoville, the tall and the small,
Would stand close together, with Christmas bells ringing.
They'd stand hand-in-hand. And the Whos would start singing!
They'd sing! And they'd sing! And they'd SING!
SING! SING! SING!
And the more the Grinch thought of this Who ChristmasSing,
The more the Grinch thought, "I must stop this whole thing!"
"Why, for fifty-three years I've put up with it now!"
"I MUST stop this Christmas from coming! But HOW?"
Then he got an idea! An awful idea!
THE GRINCH GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!
"I know just what to do!"

"Because we all know what a thinker Mordokai is."
"That's it. Wig and bloomers - NOW!"

The Grinch laughed in his throat.
And he made a quick Santy Claus hat and a coat.
And he chuckled, and clucked, "What a great Grinchy trick!"
"With this coat and this hat, I look just like Saint Nick!"
"All I need is a reindeer..." The Grinch looked around.
But, since reindeer are scarce, there was none to be found.
Did that stop the old Grinch? No! The Grinch simply said,
"If I can't find a reindeer, I'll make one instead!"
So he called his dog, Max. Then he took some red thread,
And he tied a big horn on the top of his head.
THEN He loaded some bags And some old empty sacks,
On a ramshackle sleigh And he hitched up old Max.

"Here I am, baby! And I'm horny!"
"Um, they're called antlers..."
"I'm antlery! Meh, horny sounded better."
"Easy, boy. Don't make me get the rolled-up newspaper."
"Yeah, now get down on all fours!"
"Um..."
"Well, he is the Grinch..."

Then the Grinch said, "Giddap!" And the sleigh started down,
Toward the homes where the Whos Lay asnooze in their town.
All their windows were dark. Quiet snow filled the air.
All the Whos were all dreaming sweet dreams without care.
When he came to the first little house on the square.
"This is stop number one," the old Grinchy Claus hissed,
And he climbed to the roof, empty bags in his fist.
Then he slid down the chimney. A rather tight pinch.
But, if Santa could do it, then so could the Grinch.
He got stuck only once, for a moment or two.
Then he stuck his head out of the fireplace flue.

"Wonder what got stuck. His head or his gut."
"Did...did you just call me fat? Well, that dress makes you look like a hippo."
"That was really mean, Mordokai. *sniffle*"
"Well, you do kinda look fat."
"Mmmmm, look good enough to eat. Come here, little girl, and tell me what large teeth I have..."
"Wrong story. Down boy."

Where the little Who stockings all hung in a row.
"These stockings," he grinned, "are the first things to go!"
Then he slithered and slunk, with a smile most unpleasant,
Around the whole room, and he took every present!
Pop guns! And bicycles! Roller skates! Drums!
Checkerboards! Tricycles! Popcorn! And plums!

"No iPods or Guitar Hero? Pfffft, take the crap then, I don't want it."

And he stuffed them in bags. Then the Grinch, very nimbly,
Stuffed all the bags, one by one, up the chimney!
Then he slunk to the icebox. He took the Whos' feast!
He took the Who-pudding! He took the roast beast!
He cleaned out that icebox as quick as a flash.
Why, that Grinch even took their last can of Who-hash!
Then he stuffed all the food up the chimney with glee.
"And NOW!" grinned the Grinch, "I will stuff up the tree!"
And the Grinch grabbed the tree, and he started to shove,
When he heard a small sound like the coo of a dove.
He turned around fast, and he saw a small Who!
Little Cristo-Lou Who, who was not more than two.

"Awww, isn't she cuuuuuuuuuuute?"
"Dirk, I will never, ever forgive you for this."
"Meh, I can live with that. Now come here and let me pinch those rosy little cheeks."

The Grinch had been caught by this tiny Who daughter,
Who'd got out of bed for a cup of cold water.
She stared at the Grinch and said, "Santy Claus, why,”
"Why are you taking our Christmas tree? WHY?"
But, you know, that old Grinch was so smart and so slick,
He thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick!
"Why, my sweet little tot," the fake Santy Claus lied,
"There's a light on this tree that won't light on one side."
"So I'm taking it home to my workshop, my dear."
"I'll fix it up there. Then I'll bring it back here."

"Just for the record, I never would have fallen for that."

And his fib fooled the child. Then he patted her head,
And he got her a drink and he sent her to bed.
And when CristoLou Who went to bed with her cup,
HE went to the chimney and stuffed the tree up!
Then the last thing he took Was the log for their fire!
Then he went up the chimney, himself, the old liar.
On their walls he left nothing but hooks and some wire.
And the one speck of food That he left in the house,
Was a crumb that was even too small for a mouse.

"Dude, you're a real bastard."
"And you're a little girl who's up past her bedtime. Shut it."

Then He did the same thing To the other Whos' houses
Leaving crumbs Much too small For the other Whos' mouses!
It was quarter past dawn... All the Whos, still a-bed,
All the Whos, still asnooze When he packed up his sled,
Packed it up with their presents! The ribbons! The wrappings!
The tags! And the tinsel! The trimmings! The trappings!
Three thousand feet up! Up the side of Mt. Crumpit,
He rode with his load to the tiptop to dump it!
"PoohPooh to the Whos!" he was grinchishly humming.
"They're finding out now that no Christmas is coming!"
"They're just waking up! I know just what they'll do!"
"Their mouths will hang open a minute or two,
Then the Whos down in Whoville will all cry BooHoo!"
"That's a noise," grinned the Grinch, "That I simply MUST hear!"

"*snicker* You said poo-poo."

So he paused. And the Grinch put his hand to his ear.
And he did hear a sound rising over the snow.
It started in low. Then it started to grow.
But the sound wasn't sad! Why, this sound sounded merry!
It couldn't be so! But it WAS merry! VERY!
He stared down at Whoville! The Grinch popped his eyes!
Then he shook! What he saw was a shocking surprise!
Every Who down in Whoville, the tall and the small,
Was singing! Without any presents at all!
He HADN'T stopped Christmas from coming! IT CAME!
Somehow or other, it came just the same!

"That's what..."
"Yeah, yeah, that's what SHE said. We get it."
"Get on with it.
"Get on with it."
"GET ON WITH IT!"
"...we're almost done, right?"

And the Grinch, with his grinch-feet ice-cold in the snow,
Stood puzzling and puzzling: "How could it be so?"
"It came with out ribbons! It came without tags!"
"It came without packages, boxes or bags!"
And he puzzled three hours, till his puzzler was sore.
Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before!
"Maybe Christmas," he thought, "doesn't come from a store."
"Maybe Christmas...perhaps...means a little bit more!"
And what happened then? Well...in Whoville they say,
That the Grinch's small heart Grew three sizes that day!
And the minute his heart didn't feel quite so tight,
He whizzed with his load through the bright morning light,
And he brought back the toys! And the food for the feast!
And he, HE HIMSELF! The Grinch carved the roast beast!

That's wonderful, as usual, Dirk. I think I would've made a good Grinch, too, but I probably would've taken the role too seriously.

By the way, I just now noticed my quote in your sig. Your sig is, literally, full of awesomesauce. *thumbs up*

[Cristo Meyers]

For some reason, I really want to see that one adapted for the stage...

...I think it would be hilarious. Where's Mustiado when I need him?

[Reinholdt]

@TwoBit: You could always do A Playground Christmas Carol.

Bah Humbug!

(I've been saying that since I joined. *smacks Cristo for good measure for trying to take the good part*)

@ Dirk: VERY amusing.
@ Nil: Your world is so very intoxicating. I enjoy it.

[mangosta71]

How the Grinch Stole Christmas starring Cristo as Cristo-Lou Who/Mordokai as the Grinch/Wolfbane as Max the dog

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"That's what..."
"Yeah, yeah, that's what SHE said. We get it."
"Get on with it.
"Get on with it."
"GET ON WITH IT!"
"...we're almost done, right?"
"That's what she said."

Fixed that little bit for you.

[Dirk Kris]

Fixed that little bit for you.

I should TOTALLY do that!
*goes to edit*

[Fan]

Shadowland

FF Fanboy/Happyturtle

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Turtle was pouting. She had been laying in bed all day, her legs still burnt from Magtok's flamethrower. She would get him for that, no doubt. But for now, she had to get better.

Then entered Fanboy. Shirtless, his pale yet firm muscles rippling. He carried a bouqet of flowers, as well as a box of chocolates.

How are you Turtle?

Fanboy..this is unexpected.

Not unwanted, but unexpected. Turtle couldn't take her eyes off of him, his large biceps and smooth, tight, abs.

What is unexpected about me bringing gifts to the beutiful lady? I though you might need some cheering up.

Fanboy walked over to Turtle, she never removing her eyes from him.

Turtle, I was hoping you would come with me to my castle as soon as you are better. A maiden as fair as you deserves only the best, and I can give it.

Fanboy picked Turtle up in his arms, Turtle blushing all the while.

Fanboy begin to whisper in her ear.


I can give you your hearts desires. Castles in foreign lands. Treasure hoards that dragons are envious of. The finest elven wines and most stylish dresses. Any servant you wish.
But I know what you want most of all.

He then whispered 5 little words in her ear.

Happyturtle reached for his face and pulled him into her sickbed, Fanboy grinning as they embraced in a lover's kiss.
Those few magic words?

We can corrupt Wolfbane togther.

Now then, next fic will be another war council, when we introduce some new faces.

Very nice Nil. Even though I now suspect that Wolfbane is in fact doomed.
But by saying that I'm beating a dead horse. So, meh.

[Kaelaroth]

Tick Tock, Turns the Clock Curly/Bath
A sequel to A Mere Conversation, and Meetings

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It was later in the year, as it always, always is, and the snowflakes were like faeryfolk, Curly thought, their teeth biting, eyes bright, each with wings so different, so extraordinary, that none could ever be the same, every snowflake different, butterfly unique, carried by the wind, a guiding Papa Smurf Anansi, the same wind, which, mischievously, drove her into the shopping centre, again, away from that wind outside.
Of course, history repeats itself, but to err is human, and it was only once she was inside the building, way up the escalators, looking at the ante-natal gear in shop windows (as one does; necessity to do something overwhelming common sense) that she realised, where she was. 'twas the same place, of course, where her heart broke, so many months before, the memory having grown stale, having spent so little time in it, only four hours and thirty-one minutes, and muddied, having spent so much time in this Smokey Pear of cities since.
With trepidation, a mindless, almost narrative, drive, Curly walked up, towards the coffee place, her hair, now short, and highlighted, bouncing effortlessly of her bebra-d shoulders, as she plunged to the place, the place she knew she had to reach.
And, lo behold it, he was there, his caramel curls, formerly so stunning, shorn, military standard, his eyes, a crystal blue, meth blue, sky blue, older, wiser, darker, as he talked...
... to a girl, hair long, dark, mysterious, eyes surrounded by smokey kohl, lips shrouded in darkened plum, her cheeks an electric pink. And, as they leaned in, past the university applications and empty coffee cups, to kiss, Curly turned, her eyes so brown, and full of life, filled with water, now.
The affirmation of theories long thought is somehow hardest of all things to bear, and she wasn't bearing it well, as she burst through the shopping centre doors, out into the snow, the biting wind laughing, all the while:
Foolish girl, it seemed to cry, and foolish though she wasn't, girl still she was. Her eyes dripping, freezing to icy blocks of breeze, she fled this place of history, history long forgot.

[TwoBitWriter]

Tick Tock, Turns the Clock Curly/Bath
A sequel to A Mere Conversation, and Meetings

Spoiler

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It was later in the year, as it always, always is, and the snowflakes were like faeryfolk, Curly thought, their teeth biting, eyes bright, each with wings so different, so extraordinary, that none could ever be the same, every snowflake different, butterfly unique, carried by the wind, a guiding Papa Smurf Anansi, the same wind, which, mischievously, drove her into the shopping centre, again, away from that wind outside.
Of course, history repeats itself, but to err is human, and it was only once she was inside the building, way up the escalators, looking at the ante-natal gear in shop windows (as one does; necessity to do something overwhelming common sense) that she realised, where she was. 'twas the same place, of course, where her heart broke, so many months before, the memory having grown stale, having spent so little time in it, only four hours and thirty-one minutes, and muddied, having spent so much time in this Smokey Pear of cities since.
With trepidation, a mindless, almost narrative, drive, Curly walked up, towards the coffee place, her hair, now short, and highlighted, bouncing effortlessly of her bebra-d shoulders, as she plunged to the place, the place she knew she had to reach.
And, lo behold it, he was there, his caramel curls, formerly so stunning, shorn, military standard, his eyes, a crystal blue, meth blue, sky blue, older, wiser, darker, as he talked...
... to a girl, hair long, dark, mysterious, eyes surrounded by smokey kohl, lips shrouded in darkened plum, her cheeks an electric pink. And, as they leaned in, past the university applications and empty coffee cups, to kiss, Curly turned, her eyes so brown, and full of life, filled with water, now.
The affirmation of theories long thought is somehow hardest of all things to bear, and she wasn't bearing it well, as she burst through the shopping centre doors, out into the snow, the biting wind laughing, all the while:
Foolish girl, it seemed to cry, and foolish though she wasn't, girl still she was. Her eyes dripping, freezing to icy blocks of breeze, she fled this place of history, history long forgot.

Always good to see you make an appearance here!

Great job, loved the descriptions, very vivid. I would liked to have seen some form of dialogue though.

[Dirk Kris]

Kaela - I felt for Curly, I really did. Tugged the heartstrings of one who's been forgotten before...

Loved it.

[Reinholdt]

Sooo sad. Excellent job.

^^ Sometimes dialogue takes away from the moment.

[Kaelaroth]

Sometimes dialogue takes away from the moment.

What he said. Plus, I have trouble writing successful dialogue: they all end up sounding just like me.
Glad you guys liked it, though. Or, well, appreciated it.

[RabbitHoleLost]

Dirk: Nothing better to wake up to than the LULZ.
Very amusing
Kaela: Good to see you back in the shippin'.
Poor Curly v.v

[TwoBitWriter]

Poor Curly v.v

At least I made Curly cry when she was around to say something about it!

[Cristo Meyers]

At least I made Curly cry when she was around to say something about it!

yeah...next time, could you do that maybe without shooting me? If it's not too much trouble? I mean, bullets tend to hurt and all...

[UncleWolf]

@Dirk:
I just knew you were going to add that joke in there. It was inevitable.
Great story though.

@Kael: Good job on the story.

[Dragonrider]

I believe everything started with a wee bit more disturbing fics. Can't say for sure, seeing I only joined after the first thread was well over 30 pages(I think), but from what I gathered, some of them were rather disturbing. I think that reputation still sticks with a Shipping as a whole.

...Everything started when, one day in the crush thread, Curly began to ship her friends.

....yes.

Disturbingly.

*is thinking of a Christmasy fic*

[UncleWolf]

*is thinking of a Christmasy fic*

How about "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?

[TwoBitWriter]

...Everything started when, one day in the crush thread, Curly began to ship her friends.

....yes.

Disturbingly.

*is thinking of a Christmasy fic*

You want to be in A Shipper's Carol that I am currently writing?

[RabbitHoleLost]

...Everything started when, one day in the crush thread, Curly began to ship her friends.

The first ship was an Ego Slayer/RabbitHoleLost one

Unfortunately, its been lost to time v.v

[Dirk Kris]

You want to be in A Shipper's Carol that I am currently writing?

I DEMAND a part!

[ghost_warlock]

The first ship was an Ego Slayer/RabbitHoleLost one

Unfortunately, its been lost to time v.v

Much like my namesake in the IStLY Grail fics, I have undergone an epic quest to find the Holy Ship. This is what I found (Crush Thread IV):

*Totally ships Curly/Bath*

We should make some kind of fiction shipping curly/bath or something.....Weird idea...

GiTP Forum Member Slash Fan-Fiction?

Wouldn't that make us, like, the nerdiest people on the internet?

Well... maybe if we made it Furry as well...

discussion continues...

I can understand this one or slash between Townies more easily than anything else...
Still, though. Like crazy rabid anime fangirls with their yaoi fanfiction, there will be crazy crack pairings nobody ever thought of.
Like, oh...
I dunno. EE and DD, who I randomly picked off this page.

what have you been dreaming about
from
EE

Wouldn't you like to know?

Agh! No Ego/RHL? I am teh saddened D=

Later that thread...

Damn you!

A tea party

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RHL had thrown another tea party to celebrate her un-birthday once more.
Her hand had trembled when she wrote out the invitation to the person she most wanted to come.
When she received the RSVP from that person her heart beat faster and her cheeks became infused with a delcate rose. It was a yes.
The day of the tea party came and RHL was nervous; what if the treasured guest didn't show up? What if? But she swallowed her fears and acted the perfect host. Weloming each arrival, shaking hands, kissing cheeks and accepting gifts with perfect charm. But she was always thinking of her special invitee.

It was late. She hadn't shown after all. Dejected RHL sighed and turned to start the party.
"Wait! I'm so sorry RHL. Transport was terrible" It was Ego. Smiling gratefully RHL took the small gift Ego offered and kissed Ego on the cheek. The kiss lingered on her soft cheek and RHL blushed furiously. "Th-thank you for the gift."
Ego reached out a hand and touched RHL gently on her hand. "Don't worry; I was glad to be specially invited. Shall we go now, dear?" Startled RHL walked by Ego's side talking, but her mind was elsewhere.
Did Ego feel the same way as she did? If she did how could she ever find the courage to tell Ego how much she cared for her?
Perhaps she would tell her after the party.

You wanted it, you got it.
Now let us never speak of what I did ever again! EVER!

[UncleWolf]

So that was the ship that started all this?

It is indeed worthy of being the first!

[TwoBitWriter]

GW, you are a god for finding that...

Now we all know where our roots began... to think that would lead to the likes of Seventeen Shards, MAT Squad, etc...

[Deathslayer7]

Here is my shot at it.

What is Right and Wrong.(Nil, Happyturtle, Mordokai. Mention Lex-kat, RHL)

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Nil sat at behind his desk, dipping his feather in ink again. He had been writing since morning, and his hand was starting to ache, but he kept at it. A knock at the door interrupted his thoughts.

Come in. he said.

Mordokai entered, his white armor well-polished, and his helmet in his hand.

She has arrived. he said simply.

Nil sighed. Putting the ink and letter away, he stood up and pushed the chair back. All the while Mordokai watched him silently. Nil reached for his cloak and put it on.

Sir. If you don't wish to tell her, I can.

It is my duty as Commander to tell her Mordokai, and as such, I will tell her. I thank you for the offer though my friend. Come let us go.

With that, Mordokai put on his helmet and followed Nil. The palace was alive with servants rushing about. Most ignored the two. Other warriors saluted Nil and Mordokai when they passed by. Nil ignored them. He was trying to organize his thoughts.

They passed through many hallways and rooms, with Nil leading. Finally, they reached their destination. Pushing open the door, Nil and Mordokai entered. Happyturtle was standing there, and turned at the sound of their entry.

Nil motioned the servants to leave, and stayed silent until the last one to leave closed the doors behind them.

Happy he said, not sure how to start.

Did you find them? she asked, her eyes tinged with red. She had been crying again.

Nil sighed. Best just to tell her directly he thought. We found their bodies outside of the town thrown in a ditch. They were murdered.

Happy's face was shocked, and then she burst out crying. Mordokai reached out to her and hugged her, comforting her.

I'm sorry for your loss. With that, he turned and left the room, leaving Mordokai alone with Happyturtle.

[RabbitHoleLost]

I got killed again!
Excellent!