Ready Aim Fire CLASSIC XXV - Primary Colours

[UncleWolf]

*is propped in front of the podium*

...
...
...

*the corpse falls and much cheering is heard*

[Thanatos 51-50]

Mayor Thanatos steps up to his podium and places a submachine gun next to him, casting a wary, cybernetics-enhanced glare out over the crowd. He has a firm, set, resolute, and gosh dern it, Inspiring posture. Also, all the visible grenades, knives, handguns and body armour is a bit intimidating, as are the many prominent scars that somehow manage to disfigure while not making him look ugly, and opens his mouth.
"My good people!" he proclaims, raising a hand to silence the cheers. A hand with a rich red bottle of wine in it. In faded pencil, nigh-impossible to make out to the front row, and worse for the cameras and people behind the front row are the words "Bread and Circuses".
"I Promise you, vote for me for a better tomorrow!" he silences another roar by pretending to drink the wine. And then launches into a lengthy monologue about his proposals for the country spun to sound appealing, but any experienced politician would know are completely useless or even detrimental to the nation. As he moves to take a seat, the red cybernetic eye looks over his competitors.
It will get bloody.

[Reinholdt]

"I'mmmm drrrrrrrrreaming of a Whhhite Christmas. Just like the ones I usssssed to know...."

It's coming from nowhere.

[Fleeing Coward]

The honest politician would make a speech but unfortunately he doesn't exist.

He will instead shoot himself just to make sure that he doesn't actually exist.

((Just making sure, this still counts as my action like last round right?))

[evnafets]

*approaches the podium after Dirk, wearing a low cut top and accompanied by a cute dog*

*smiles sweetly and looks out over the audience with big brown eyes*

"Please vote for me."

Smiles. (ding!)
Votes for HappyTurtle

[Uncle Festy]

"AHAHAHAHAHA! I AM VICTORIOUS! BOW BEFORE ME, SLAVES! BOW! BOW I SAY! AHAHAHAHA*–"
Uncle Festy pauses, looks back down at his script.
"Er. That, um…*that was my …acceptance speech. …Sorry.
…
A country under Festy is a country of awesome?"

[Zar Peter]

The honest politician would make a speech but unfortunately he doesn't exist.

He will instead shoot himself just to make sure that he doesn't actually exist.

((Just making sure, this still counts as my action like last round right?))

Well, just so that everybody knows: An action posted open in thread is a valid action and counts unless I get another action.

Just be sure you make it visible enough for me to read, so if you hide it in a long text I might not be able to recognice it.

Oh, and I must say I'm really enjoying the roleplay here. Great work, people!

[Lord Herman]

Lord Herman get up on the podium, clears his throat, adjusts his fancy hat, and says, "Alright you lot, you can go back to your huts or shacks or whatever it is you peasants live in. I'm the only one here with a noble title, so I win by default. Just let me run this country while you farm mud or something. Back to work, chop chop!"

[Inigo Montoya]

Inigo Montoya steps up to another podium (How many do we have anyway? A dozen?) And begins to speak.

Hello...If you vote for me, I won't say that line anymore. YOU KILLED MY FATHER PREPARE TO...Sorry. It just happens randomly now.

[Opeth_Freak]

A creepy guy, with giant glasses and pimply face enters the podium.

"This thing on? Good... Mr. Cthulhu is currently sleeping somewhere deep under the ocean surface, and he told me to do this speech for him. Achem...

*Clears Throat*

Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!

*Crickets chirping*

"Thank you."

*leaves the podium*

[Reinholdt]

"The Phannnnnnnnntom of the Opera is therrrrre, inside my minnnnnnnd..."

It's like it's coming from your head!

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

Briefly, the sun is blotted out, and eyes are drawn to the collosal mass of metal, weaponry, and ovetaxed engines that hangs like some vast, predatory bird above the audience. Almost unseen, a cargo bay opens up, and an extremely long rope ladder is tossed down.

With speed bizarre for his size and total amount of existing original limbs, Captain Jonathan K. Fullbladder disembarks from the Nemesis.

"I ain't late, am I?" he asks as he limps over to and grasps the podium, a three-point pirate hat suddenly matewrializing upon his head.

"All right you unspaced blighters. This is 'ow it's gonna work. You lot'll vote fer me, an' I won't detonate the weapons cache I've hidden under each an' e'ery one o' yer houses. I can do that! I'm a pirate! Nyahaha! So don't you ferget who you're voting fer."

He raises his hands to make... well.... a hook and a 'Victory' hand sign.

"Cap'n Fullbladder, out!"

And hats fall upon the crowd.

[Zar Peter]

1 hour left. I fear I don't get all actions but I send everyone a PM. So, Round ends in 1 hour!

[Mordokai]

Sneak attack leg kick!

*kicks Peter in the leg again*

And what do you know! It seems like I actually hit the right leg this time

[Dirk Kris]

*approaches the podium after Dirk, wearing a low cut top and accompanied by a cute dog*

*smiles sweetly and looks out over the audience with big brown eyes*

"Please vote for me."

Spoiler

Show

Dirk grabs the girl, sweeps her into a low dip, and plants a big, wet kiss on her lips. He even nibbles a little! Then, righting her, he gives the crowd a big thumbs up and gets a loud cheer in return. "See, I even treat my competiton with love and respect!"

[happyturtle]

Happy looks as if she's going to slap him, but at the last minute, her hand shapeshifts into an insectile claw and slashes viciously across his face, leaving 5 long bleeding gashes.

"If you ever touch me again, I'll disembowel you and use your empty husk to feed my brood."

[UncleWolf]

On the corpse is a note reading: "Trust me, I know."

[Dirk Kris]

Ha, good one Wolfy.

Dirk steps away from the woman and her scary hand and voice, eyes wide. He touches a hand to his cheek, and when it comes away bloody, he wails. "MY FACE! I'M TOO PRETTY FOR THIS!" He hurries off the stage, where a flock of his loyal FEMALE voters tend to his wounds.

[happyturtle]

"I'm afraid your pretty face isn't going to be able to compensate for your other *ahem* deficiencies anymore." Happy says sweetly.

[UncleWolf]

If Alizarin wasn't dead, he'd be laughing.

[Dirk Kris]

Dirk ignores Happy, but his gaggle of gals does not. One woman, striding...oddly...almost waddling...comes up and glares at scary-handed woman. "You're just jealous! All you politicians are the same - greedy and selfish and ruthless!" A glare from the women around her makes her flush. "Except Dirky - he's wonderful and honest and doesn't have any DEFICIENCIES!" A chorus of "YEAH's" erupts around her, and several husbands look...uneasy.

[happyturtle]

"Hmph. A real man wouldn't need a woman to defend him. A real man is one who protects others. Like my Alizarin. Of course that didn't stop me from devouring him."

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

"And I thought I was crazy," mutters Cap'n Fullbladder, from under a ten gallon cowboy hat. Note ta self, get Strauss to charge the turbolasers."

[Mordokai]

Well, you kinda are... just not as crazy

Oh and, happy now officially scares me.

[Dirk Kris]

Dirk glares at Happy, then pulls out his guitar. The women around him swoon and make room for him to sit. He strums gently, his eyes on Happy, a smirk on his lips, and starts to sing.

"I once thought that you were pretty
That maybe you'd be the girl for me
When we kissedit sent tingles through me
Wondered if you would be my true love, Happy..."

A wide grin, as the notes change to power chords and Dirk raises his voice.

"But it all was bull crap
It was a goddam joke
And when I think of you, Happy
I hope you freakin' choke!"

[TheBibliophile]

*steps up to yet another podium*

My people. I have only one thing to say to you...

Vote for me, the only candidate who has read Machiavelli's The Prince and therefore knows how to run a country!

[Dallas-Dakota]

Vote for the candidate which wants a update!

If you vote me, you will get more updates!
If you vote me, you will get more accurate times for updates!

Vote me, and playgrounders will rule the world!

[Murska]

Suddenly, Aaron Carter Murska arrived, out of the blue, using a combined guitar-jetpack with an underslung rocket launcher and a combi-flamethrower/HoN Mark IV Laserbeam.

His landing incinerated a part of Dirk's crowd and another, even larger part was crushed under the stage and giant amplifiers. Murskocalypse was here!

A mic fell from the sky and impaled itself into the spine of a nearby bleeding injured woman.

"Yo dawg, imma let you finish but you dissin' my daughter here and that just won't stand. So I herd you like songs so I made a song for this occasion so you can die while you lie."

"So this guy, this Dirk Kris S-O-B
dares wish my daughter ill?
Oh rise up now my bros in arms,
we got something to kill.

The wolven kind, now bare your fangs,
the devils are here too.
As sound of evil laughter falls,
the Beast will target you!

You don't just ROCK to Mordor,
not even with your pop.
But with that kind of failed try?
You wouldn't reach the corner shop.

*SO WHAT MUST YOU LEARN?*

You must remember some things,
about the Happyturtle:
Don't turn your back,
don't drop your guard,
don't trust her with your life.

Don't give her up,
don't let her down,
or your future will hold a *whack*

And with the last word, the spikey part(which, you might ask? All of it!) of Mur Ska the Mock Czar of Rum Sack's guitar connects with Dirk's face, again. Then the stage and equipment packs up seemingly without outside influence and flies away, Murska leaving last on his jetpack.

[Reinholdt]

Dirk glares at Happy, then pulls out his guitar. The women around him swoon and make room for him to sit. He strums gently, his eyes on Happy, a smirk on his lips, and starts to sing.

"I once thought that you were pretty
That maybe you'd be the girl for me
When we kissedit sent tingles through me
Wondered if you would be my true love, Happy..."

A wide grin, as the notes change to power chords and Dirk raises his voice.

"But it all was bull crap
It was a goddam joke
And when I think of you, Happy
I hope you freakin' choke!"

"HEY! You creep! Stop stealing my gig!" Says the voice that's not there. "I'm the singer around here!"

Random stage stuff starts floating up and looking menacing as it hovers closer to Dirk. None of it actually is there of course.

I was born to rule the world
And I almost achieved that goal. (Reinholdt)
But my pokemon, the mighty Meowth
Had more power than I could control. (Reinholdt)

Still he inspired this mechanical marvel
That learns and returns each attack. (Reinholdt)
My Mecha Meowth, the ultimate weapon
Will tell them Reinholdt is back!
Hahahaha!!

There'll be world domination
Complete obliteration
Of all who now defy me!
Let the universe prepare
Good Pokemon beware
You fools shall not deny me.
Now Go, Go, Go, Go!

It will all be mine
Powers so divine
I'll tell the sun to shine
On only me!
It will all be mine
Till the end of time
When this perfect crime makes history
Team Catboys!
This is our destiny...

Listen up you scheming fools
No excuses and no more lies. (Reinholdt)
You've heard my most ingenious plan
I demand the ultimate prize. (Reinholdt)
No bring me the yellow pokemon
And bear witness as I speak. (Reinholdt)
I shall possess the awesome power
In Pikachu's rosy cheeks.
Hahahaha!!

There'll be world domination
Complete obliteration
Of all who now defy me!
Let the universe prepare
Good Pokemon beware
You fools shall not deny me.
Now Go, Go, Go, Go!

It will all be mine
Powers so divine
I'll tell the sun to shine
On only me!
It will all be mine
Till the end of time
When this perfect crime makes history
Team Catboys!
This is our destiny...

(Bayar & Keris Rain DUET)
To protect the world from devastation
To unite all peoples within our nation
To denounce the evils of truth and love
To extend our reach to the stars above

(Keris SOLO)
Keris!

(Bayar SOLO)
Bayar!

(Reinholdt SOLO)
There'll be total devastation
Pure annihilation
Or absolute surrender!
I'll have limitless power
This is our finest hour!
Now Go, Go, Go, Go!

[Zar Peter]

Just a note, Times up, I'm writing, no more actions or changes will be accepted.