"What did you just say?"

[Eddums]

This isn't something I've heard, but something I've said. And I'm sure it deprived those who listened of more than a few brain cells.

Me: "I did not care for the Godfather."
Everyone who listened: *Dead silence*.

Isn't that from Family Guy?

[Kobold-Bard]

I know some people who would say this...

I basically do this (minus moving for the opposite sex). Unless you have a card that says you can take my seat you'll have to drag my dead body out of it to get it.

Ah, the wonders of the Universe. It can make two countries that are no where near each other share a city.

Take a look at an American map. There are so many stolen cities, basically every English town/city has been nicked.

Also New Orleans, which still surprised me despite having New at the start of its name.

-----------
I have heard someoe utter the following line: "I was so drunk last night I think I went full circle and ended up sober again. That's why I'm not hungover".

[Grimtina]

We're also rotating.

Forgot to mention that she did not believe that the earth is rotating. Because she would have felt dizzy if it would (she had some balance issues, too). So mentioning a rotating earth around her would have made you a moron in her eyes.

[rollfrenzy]

Here's a couple,

From my girlfriend-now-wife:

"How do the ducks get south? I know they can't fly?"

She has a sens of humor about it though, her fantasy football team name is "the long hike south"

From a Professor of Psychology speaking to a group of graduate students about mental illness...

"I don't believe schizophrenia even exists"

"...then there are the myths of biology"

Basically rambled on about how theres no such thing as a biological basis behind mental illness and how the drug companies are evil.

[Amiel]

"My fellow Americans. As a young boy, I dreamed of being a baseball, but tonight I say, we must move forward, not backward, upward not forward, and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom."

[Athaniar]

"My fellow Americans. As a young boy, I dreamed of being a baseball, but tonight I say, we must move forward, not backward, upward not forward, and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom."

Yeah, that was a fun episode.

[GolemsVoice]

It's Berlin, right?

Wasn't Berlin the capital French?

[Rae Artemi]

Take a look at an American map. There are so many stolen cities, basically every English town/city has been nicked.

I live in the only Coshocton in the world. In AMERICA!

[Helanna]

From a friend In response to my reciting Pi to a few dozen digits (demonstrating my 133t nerd skillz).

Him: Wow! This guy knows, like... all of pi
Me: Pi is an infinite number
Him: Ok. Half of pi.
Me:

A while ago, one of my friends asked me whether mathemeticians had found the last digit of pi, because she thought she remembered her brother telling her that they had built a computer that had finally calculated the last number.

It was bizarre, because normally she's one of the smartest people I know, if inclined to . . . rather unorthodox views.

[Capt Spanner]

From a Professor of Psychology speaking to a group of graduate students about mental illness...

"I don't believe schizophrenia even exists"

"...then there are the myths of biology"

Basically rambled on about how theres no such thing as a biological basis behind mental illness and how the drug companies are evil.

Well, Big Pharma does have some pretty unscientific, unethical practices, most of which boil down to cherry picking data. (Ben Goldacre thinks so.)

I'm led to understand that, while some mental illnesses are caused by chemical imbalances that many of them don't have a known biological (as opposed to psychological) root, though I guess it depends on the semantics.

I think it has been argued that schizophrenia is, in fact, a collection of different illnesses all under the same umbrella.

You're probably far more clued up about these then me (I know physics, really) so feel free to tell me I'm outright misinformed or wrong.

Wasn't Berlin the capital French?

I believe "F" is the capital of France.

[Cleverdan22]

I believe "F" is the capital of France.

I see what you did there and I am quite impressed.

So, for overheard ridiculous conversations, there was this time I was walking down the road, and there were this pretty big gangster-looking types arguing about something very loudly, and it seemed pretty intense. I moved up a little closer to hear, and it went a little like this.

A: "Nah, man! But Electrode in your team! He's amazing!"
B: "Dude, shut up! You know I got that Raichu already!"

Made my friggin' day.

[Cealocanth]

{Scrubbed}

[Maximum Zersk]

I see what you did there and I am quite impressed.

So, for overheard ridiculous conversations, there was this time I was walking down the road, and there were this pretty big gangster-looking types arguing about something very loudly, and it seemed pretty intense. I moved up a little closer to hear, and it went a little like this.

A: "Nah, man! But Electrode in your team! He's amazing!"
B: "Dude, shut up! You know I got that Raichu already!"

Made my friggin' day.

I see you were judging someone by their look. Shame on you!

[Vaynor]

Forgot to mention that she did not believe that the earth is rotating. Because she would have felt dizzy if it would (she had some balance issues, too). So mentioning a rotating earth around her would have made you a moron in her eyes.

If that were the case, you'd probably get more dizzy just walking.

[Milskidasith]

Here's one I had about our recent standardized tests. First of all, there was one question tons of people got wrong, somehow; it was a political cartoon (made just for the question, I'm pretty sure), that showed the two sides in WW2 squaring off in their caricatures (uncle sam for the US, hitler for germany, etc.). Uncle Sam and Hitler were the only ones full drawn (the others were on the side of the globe just kind of standing) and were in boxer poses. Several people, including people who I thought were fairly smart, thought it was WW1. That was bad, but this was worse.

Me: So, what did you put for that one question? A lot of people thought it was WW1, and I'm just wondering if you got it right.
Her: I put the Civil War, is that wrong?
Me: Yes... why did you think it was the Civil War? It wasn't about the Union fighting the Confederacy.
Her: I know, but they were just fist fighting, not using guns and stuff, so it seemed a lot more civil than most wars. More of a little dispute than a war, actually.
Me: You're joking, right?
Her, annoyed: I'm not joking.
Me: *holds back laughter*

[Temotei]

Here's one I had about our recent standardized tests. First of all, there was one question tons of people got wrong, somehow; it was a political cartoon (made just for the question, I'm pretty sure), that showed the two sides in WW2 squaring off in their caricatures (uncle sam for the US, hitler for germany, etc.). Uncle Sam and Hitler were the only ones full drawn (the others were on the side of the globe just kind of standing) and were in boxer poses. Several people, including people who I thought were fairly smart, thought it was WW1. That was bad, but this was worse.

Me: So, what did you put for that one question? A lot of people thought it was WW1, and I'm just wondering if you got it right.
Her: I put the Civil War, is that wrong?
Me: Yes... why did you think it was the Civil War? It wasn't about the Union fighting the Confederacy.
Her: I know, but they were just fist fighting, not using guns and stuff, so it seemed a lot more civil than most wars. More of a little dispute than a war, actually.
Me: You're joking, right?
Her, annoyed: I'm not joking.
Me: *holds back laughter*

I think I've seen that cartoon somewhere.

[Kris Strife]

This isn't something I've heard, but something I've said. And I'm sure it deprived those who listened of more than a few brain cells.

Me: "I did not care for the Godfather."
Everyone who listened: *Dead silence*.

A buddy of mine was in an airsoft rifle store when he said that he'd never seen RoboCop... No less than three of the others inside were about to shoot him, one person left the store to get his airsoft gun from the car.

[Athaniar]

A buddy of mine was in an airsoft rifle store when he said that he'd never seen RoboCop... No less than three of the others inside were about to shoot him, one person left the store to get his airsoft gun from the car.

So they were about to inflict physical harm on him for not watching a movie? Not watching the movie and not liking it, but just not watching it? Are you serious?

[Raveypoos]

Teacher: Name the two types of water
Friend: Saltwater and... chlorine water?
-----

I facepalmed and might have said "Oh for ****s sake"

[Kris Strife]

So they were about to inflict physical harm on him for not watching a movie? Not watching the movie and not liking it, but just not watching it? Are you serious?

Its airsoft... I don't think I'd call it physical harm... And as much as he goes on about how awesome the 80s are and how much grief he gives me about not having seen certain movies, I'd say it was justified.

[Exeson]

The girl got it partly correct; Milan is the fashion capital of Italy

So actually you mean she is totally wrong but gave the correct answer to a different question?

Also my contribution:

Schoolgirl: *walks into room with a poster of Gordan Brown and Obama* Hey, look it's gordan brown, and who's the funny guy with big ears?

[Shas aia Toriia]

Schoolgirl: *walks into room with a poster of Gordan Brown and Obama* Hey, look it's gordan brown, and who's the funny guy with big ears?

To be fair, Obama does have funny-looking ears.

[Cealocanth]

{Scrubbed}

Sorry about that last post everyone. If anyone saw it shield your eyes! Won't happen again. I'm listening in for anything better suited for this forum.

[Fuzzie Fuzz]

I see what you did there and I am quite impressed.

So, for overheard ridiculous conversations, there was this time I was walking down the road, and there were this pretty big gangster-looking types arguing about something very loudly, and it seemed pretty intense. I moved up a little closer to hear, and it went a little like this.

A: "Nah, man! But Electrode in your team! He's amazing!"
B: "Dude, shut up! You know I got that Raichu already!"

Made my friggin' day.

Heh, I have some gangsta's in my Java class. They act cool, use slang, sag, play WoW and wear Pokewalkers. They're kind of amazing.

[llamamushroom]

Heh, I have some gangsta's in my Java class. They act cool, use slang, sag, play WoW and wear Pokewalkers. They're kind of amazing.

That is very cool.

Annoying 7-year-old Boy on Bus: Your mum's so fat, she... umm...
Other Annoying 7-year-old: What?
A: ... I forgot...

Bearing in mind that this was after about 10 minutes of high-pitched screeching about other incredibly unfunny "ya mum!" jokes.

Oh, and one I overheard in maths:

"I wish I was a manwhore..."

[Cleverdan22]

Heh, I have some gangsta's in my Java class. They act cool, use slang, sag, play WoW and wear Pokewalkers. They're kind of amazing.

That is too cool for my brain to handle.

[Amiel]

Heh, I have some gangsta's in my Java class. They act cool, use slang, sag, play WoW and wear Pokewalkers. They're kind of amazing.

But are they real gangstas? :P

Also, what does "sag" mean?

[Maximum Zersk]

But are they real gangstas? :P

Also, what does "sag" mean?

I think that means their back sags.

[llamamushroom]

I think that means their back sags.

Huh. I thought that it said "bag" as in "baggy pants".

I'm afraid I don't quite understand what you mean by "their back sags", though. Do you mind explaining it to a poor, frazzled not-down-with-the-lingo forumite?

[Amiel]

I, uh, don't think your back should sag; else you would need to see a doctor ASAP and stat :P