In a zombie apocalpyse

[Asta Kask]

They turn out to be lesbians, ditch the guy in a dark alleyway and go on a crime spree that rocks the nation?

Because that would be awesome.

[noparlpf]

you're doing it wrong

always have sexy girls as minions..because they're minions

The two aren't mutually exclusive. And they can be different senses of "minion". That word has been used for so many things over the years...

[Story Time]

What an imbecilic turn this thread has taken lately. It started so well.

It's finally happened. The world has ended, and the dead are walking. You find yourself in a motley band of unlikely survivors. What is your role in this group?

My role would be an automatic dual role: Long-range rifle support and the survival nutrition encyclopedia. If there was one person from this forum that I'd want in my team, it'd be him. Probably to trade Sniper / Spotter duties with.

I'm the quiet one who reluctantly helps out the rest of the group slowly revealing he is actually a survivalist/prepper who has various skills he only reveals when plot necessary.
[...]
If I've had to join a motley band of unlikely survivors, my plan has gone completely wrong.

You and I, both.

Fodder

Don't worry Serpentine. To survive a zombie out-break food and defenses for one month should be enough ( in a realistic out-break ). But someone can get to you. Better, you could save someone else. I bet you'll be surprised at how heroic you can be in the right circumstances.

[Traab]

They turn out to be lesbians, ditch the guy in a dark alleyway and go on a crime spree that rocks the nation?

Because that would be awesome.

Nope, he gets to have sexy sexing with the two hot minions, who dont want a relationship, they just want to be there "to see to the masters needs" And bisexual, not lesbians. Because these minions are perfect. But possibly yes to the crime spree, depending on how you define crime. Seriously, the story is crazy awesome. Its a three way crossover between buffy the vampire slayer, Girl Genius, and the dc universe. The story is massive, at over 500k words so far with no signs of stopping. Tons of ultraviolence, humor, sex, politics, SCIENCE!, and a messing with of the canon of the dc universe so profound that even 500k words later the ripples are just starting to be truly felt.

[Tyndmyr]

Although this whole "moral" argument is a complete fallacy. Its based on the idea that theres an outcome where both coming are back and whether to take that option or not. That is not however the situation. There is absolutely no morality involved in the decision. Its a you or him situation. end of story. You cant change it around to make it different and say what you would do if it was different like it matters.

Even in a "you or him" situation, morality is still relevant. That said, RL situations always have some uncertainty. An option where you both make it out may be unlikely, but it will never be entirely certain until someone is actually shot/being chewed on by zombies.

Because it ISNT different. It is what it is. A situation where you are simply not both going to make it whether anyone likes it or not and your only choices are to both die or kill him. Like starving to death on an island. Do you both starve or do you club and BBQ the other survivor when its clear you have no other choice.

Er, yeah, again, you're embracing murder to improve your personal perceived odds at survival.

That does not make you an attractive choice for a teammate.

Easy to say safe there at home. People say all the time they would never kill anybody. Till someone breaks into their house and they shoot the bastard. Extreme situations change your perspective instantly.

And even if you wouldn't. That does not mean a majority of people wouldnt. Or even for purposes of whats relevant to the situation a sizable minority of people would still be too many to risk.

That's not what he said. Not "never kill anybody". More of a "not shoot my teammate". Self defense is legit. That's not what you proposed, though.

The assumption that none of us have ever actually risked our lives is also a bit premature. Plenty of us are, or as in my case, have been military, or have done other dangerous things to help others. I know one gent that dove into a burning car to drag out a stranger. Not his job at all. People are not all amoral killers.

However, if you're going to go into a risky situation with someone, you HAVE to be able to trust them. There's no time to be considering if now is the opportunity to turn on them, or if they'll be turning on you.

Which is why game theory is complete ivory tower wishful thinking. It in no way mirrors how people really act.

Look at any situation where there is looting. Do people attempt to stop them? Not unless it was their stuff being looted or they're a cop and its their job.

If that was a general rule, then people everywhere would be looting right now. This is not the case.

Therefore, we can conclude that adopting the behavior of "join the looting" is the exception, not universal.

LOL you must not have been to the mall lately. 34% of americans are obese. Another 34% are overweight and not obese according to the CDC. Thats 68% of Americans who couldnt outrun a zombie horde literally to save their lives.

http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/overwt.htm

42% of americans are current or former smokers according to the CDC.

Overweight means that many zombies will be overweight. Meh, this should mostly balance out.

Former smoker is basically irrelevant. The lungs start repairing themselves extremely rapidly after you stop. Even folks that were smoking are likely to give it up when zombies come, through lack of supply if nothing else.

I don't see how D is in any way better than C.

You're taking all the gear anyway. The Wheezy is going to be the first one caught anyway. He doesn't have bullets, he can't threaten you in any way. Worst case scenario, you can use that last bullet on something more useful. Best case scenario, by some stroke of luck both survive. Most likely he's going to be the one caught and so he'll be distracting the zombies while you run, exactly like in D.

Precisely. The only difference is that in C, wheezy might get lucky. And you're spending that bullet reducing the zombie swarm to improve both your odds slightly.

Shooting that intruder is almost certainly NOT necessary or even ideal given self defense laws in most states if he happens to not have a gun on him. That intruder is much less of a threat to you and yours in most cases then the guy running behind you in our little scene. The intruder gains nothing and risks a lot by hurting you. The guy running just might gain his life.

The guy running behind you is not the threat. The zombies are the threat. That's the difference.

And honestly, the whole shane situation smacked of poor planning to begin with. I firmly believe in the backup sniper concept. Useful in all manner of situations. If they'd left someone with a rifle and a vehicle to back them up, nothing would have happened that was unfixable. And frankly, the amount of time he spent shooting him, struggling with him, etc...I have to assume it was quite possible for them to both make it out alive.

In addition, you're entirely neglecting the chance of a third party seeing you. If my first observation of a party is them shooting each other and leaving them for zombies, I am going to make some negative assumptions about this group.

A willingness to summarily execute an entire prison full of inmates is also...remarkably amoral. Also an impractical use of human resources. In addition, standard disaster protocol in prisons when control is lost is not typically "lock them all in and leave", it's "let them all out to evacuate". This rarely comes up, but your assumption that they will all be locked in cells is unwarranted.

I fully intend to form a team consisting of those I trust, and will attempt to collect as many other survivors as I can into a functional little society. This is true of basically any disaster. But I'm a lot better off being alone than teaming with someone who will kill me for a short term advantage.

Dehro, as the OP...I'm pretty ok with either topic. Feel free to expound upon whatever you'd like. =)

Assume that there was an initial mass zombification event, either by virus, or all the dead rising at once, or whatever. Now, everyone who dies without brain destruction rises as a zombie. Fairly standard zombie, subject to decay(albeit very slowly). Only rudimentary intelligence of the "claw your way to the guy you heard" level. So, lots and lots of zombies due to the initial event, but they're basically not different from your standard walking dead model.

[Murska]

Well... let me put it this way: If you had the opportunity for a companion (who wasn't boredgremlin), would you take it? If you knew of a small community (say about thirty) survivors who were doing well nearby, would you try and make it towards them (assuming travel is relatively safe thanks to your aforementioned isolation)?

Pretty much have to say that I would. Because this would mean that I'm fleeing the zombies and happen upon a survivor, or a bunch of them, and my choices are to take them with me or leave them, and I'm not going to be able to leave people to die when I'm face to face with them. This assuming I don't happen on them while they're shooting each other in the face of a zombie horde - at that point I'd back slowly away and leave quietly.

And once the situation has calmed down, I'd probably try and make contact with a group of survivors if I knew of one, via radio or somesuch - I do well alone but it's probably better for my mental health to meet others, and at the very least we could share information and skills. With thirty or so people, we can pretty much start with the rebuilding as it is unlikely there'll be more than a thousand or so zombies for miles and miles around.

[WyvernLord]

Ditto. I'm not quite eighteen.

I'm younger then you and I still know enough about human nature to know that is a bad idea to shoot someone. If nothing else then no one would trust you by then. If you are willing to shoot someone behind you for negligible gain then your actions would have already hinted at that. Unless you're the new guy in which case who is sending out newbies in that small of a group unless they have to. I mean who would send out a fat guy and a newb alone without hoping they would both die. If your not a newb then you would be paired up with a friend. Why, because that way you would be maybe willing to risk yourself to make sure you both get through. If you don't have any friends by then you would be sent as a scavenger behind guys you could trust to actually defend you instead of shooting you in the knee and running.
*Rant over*

[dehro]

The two aren't mutually exclusive.

what are you saying..asexual sexy girls?..well..that would be defeating the point..also, blueballs.

[noparlpf]

what are you saying..asexual sexy girls?..well..that would be defeating the point..also, blueballs

No, one could have asexual male minions, as well as sexy girl minions.

[Asta Kask]

what are you saying..asexual sexy girls?..well..that would be defeating the point..also, blueballs

*grumble*

Like being locked into a pastry shop with all candy safely behind bars.

[dehro]

Dehro, as the OP...I'm pretty ok with either topic. Feel free to expound upon whatever you'd like. =)

oh, I've kinda done that in my first reply already, lol..
all in all, I'm kinda happy with my own plan, even though it does hinge on not too many things going wrong all at the same time in the initial stage.
I still think that reaching a small island not too far from a populated coast is the safest option, all considered..

[Murska]

Yeah, the weakest part of any plan is basically the moment where it all begins, zombies flood the streets and people begin realizing what's up. So many things can go wrong right then.

[dehro]

Yeah, the weakest part of any plan is basically the moment where it all begins, zombies flood the streets and people begin realizing what's up. So many things can go wrong right then.

I just hope I won't find out about it whilst sitting on the crapper... I mean..if I have to go, so be it, but please, I don't want to pull an Elvis. let it happen with my pants on.

[Hiro Protagonest]

I'll be the guy who gets all the girls, food and booze while you others slave away at my bidding.

Or is that job taken?

Seeing as you didn't list any useful abilities, and even if you do have some, you're taking everything for yourself, I'll be the guy who negotiates terms with you with a gun pointed at your heart from point blank range.

"You have two options. I can kick you out with nothing but a spear to fend off the zombies, or I can shoot you right now and make it a quick death. Wait, I''ll be merciful and add a third. You can step down, give us back the food and girls, and get the same share as the rest of us."

[Asta Kask]

Seeing as you didn't list any useful abilities, and even if you do have some, you're taking everything for yourself, I'll be the guy who negotiates terms with you with a gun pointed at your heart from point blank range.

"You have two options. I can kick you out with nothing but a spear to fend off the zombies, or I can shoot you right now and make it a quick death."

Hey! No fair!

I called that position first.

[Hiro Protagonest]

Hey! No fair!

I called that position first.

I was merciful and edited a third option into my post.

But when the leader is taking literally everything and the slaves have weapons, there's going to be a problem. You could try building a band of soldiers to make everyone do things for you guys, but then you don't get all the girls and food. Also, they'll probably start complaining about how morale among the minions sucks.

[dehro]

it's getting harder to tell if you're taking asta kask's declared role seriously or having fun with it

[Hiro Protagonest]

it's getting harder to tell if you're taking asta kask's declared role seriously or having fun with it

I'm talking about what would happen if there was a zombie apocalypse. Both.

[dehro]

inconceivable!

[Asta Kask]

I know pharmacology so if we ever encounter a pharmacy, I'm the guy who knows what to take and what to leave. And in what dose they should be taken.

[Karoht]

In Combat: VS Zombies
Front Line Melee-I own a big shield, I own several melee weapons including a proper spear, I own a few types of body armor. I also know enough of how to position myself that someone else will still be able to shoot the zombies and cover me, either with gun, crossbow, or bow. Still carrying a sidearm just in case.
Range-I'm scouting the field, reading the play, directing fire where possible/necessary. This is assuming that I can't get into melee for some reason or it is not advantageous/necessary for me to so do. Backing up fire with Bow and Arrow or Gun. Probably a rifle.

In Combat: Rioters and Raiders
Shooting from cover with Bow and Arrow, Crossbow, or Gun. Probably a rifle.

Before Combat: Scouting
Good awareness of surroundings, decent eyesight, sharp hearing, relatively okay hunting skills, knowledge of how to utilize terrain to advantage for retreat or observation. I also have enough common sense to never treat any area as safe, no matter what. Eye's in the back of my head.

Out of Combat:
I know how to carve bows from wood, I know how to make arrows. They might not be the best, but they'll shoot, and they're sustainable. Bullets might not be.
I know how to butcher and prepare fish and game, and probably the best methods of how to cook it in a transportable fashion, no, not jerky. Yes, I can cook over a fire. Yes, I come equiped with cast iron and steel cookware.
I know how to build sustainable systems for living, should we find a suitable secure area and enough supplies to warrent it.
I know how to build static defenses that are ideal for handling zombies. Lets here it for triplines, pit traps trenches, sand bags, and chest-high walls.
I can teach just about anyone how to use a melee weapon safely and effectively. I can teach just about anyone how to maintain and fire a bow safely. I could probably do the same with guns, but odds are the group will have someone more qualified than myself.

Overall Plan:
If I'm in charge, head for the mountainous terrain ASAP. Head for logging roads rather than main roads. Avoid other towns unless absolutely necessary. Head mostly north, the higher the elevation and the colder it gets and the rougher the terrain gets, the better. Mostly keeping to the mountains of BC, where I know a bunch of the logging roads and where some of the logging camps are/were. There are also some ski-hills which will probably be abandoned an may have some supplies remaining, as well as excellent defensible positions and excellent shelter options, on top of being decently remote enough. Precipitation is usually high, so we have an excellent source of fresh clean water (rain/snow), and there would still be some wildlife, so we might even have some food sources. Trees everywhere for fuel and shelter/supplies.

Either way, I want a place where I can 'see them coming' be it zombies or raiders. Ski Hill/Logging camp looking down into the valleys in all directions, I'm going to notice vehicles, and the bigger open areas (ski runs) means they are easy to scout for signs of zombies. Odds are, we would be too far off the beaten path for zombies to notice us, and if they wander that direction randomly we would have everything we need to be able to deal with them.

[noparlpf]

Spears aren't that useful against zombies. You have to take off the head or damage the brain to kill them. It's pretty hard to aim a spear at the head in melee, and if you hit them somewhere else, they can just pull themselves along the spear unless it has one of those boar-hunting crossguards (whatever they're called on spears).

I prefer bludgeoning. A nice mace or crowbar is preferable. You hit them, and even if you miss the head you crush an arm or some ribs. Slashing is also alright but not my favorite. Piercing isn't very good against undead.

[Murska]

Against zombies, I would avoid combat if possible and if I have to fight, I'd do it at as much range as possible.

A single bone splinter, tiny cut, anything and you're a goner. Shooting from close range at a zombie, a zombie bit might fly your way and pierce skin or blood splatter might fly into your mouth or eyes. Melee, no thanks - if I can reach the zombies, odds are they can reach me and that's bad.

[WyvernLord]

Yeah they are called boarspears. Pretty simple right. And they would be useful if all you are doing is keeping them from getting past your guard. Actually any pole-arm is a good option. Unless the zombie jumped you in which case grab that crowbar.
@^That is assuming they are super virus zombies and not supernatural bite only zombies. Or L4D, "you are already immune to the virus" zombies.

[Asta Kask]

Also, I am slow and would be eaten first, giving y'all a chance to escape.

[noparlpf]

Also, I am slow and would be eaten first, giving y'all a chance to escape.

Except for us leave-no-man-behind types. (We don't leave women or androgynes or intersex folks behind either, but that disrupted the flow of the sentence.)

[Murska]

I really don't want to test whether or not I happen to be one of the few immune to the virus.

[dehro]

a spear however lets you keep a modicum of distance from your opponent..which in a zombie-infection melee scenario is desirable.
that said, blunt weapons are less likely to get stuck into a zombie than a blade...and are dull to begin with, so need less maintenance to remain functional
..so, yeah, blunt weapons ftw

@karoth..aren't ski slopes ...covered in snow?.. doesn't that make hunting and generally getting about more hazardous for yourself or any hunting party you send out? (not to mention friggin' cold)

[WyvernLord]

In L4D it is pretty much if you survived the first week then you were immune.

[polity4life]

For those interested in professional opinions on the matter, I refer you to Michigan State University's course on zombie survival.

If a university is on board then the dooks must be close to hitting the fan. Looks like I have a convenient excuse to buy that maul now.