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2007-09-13, 09:57 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Jul 2006
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Things not to do when fighting Gnolls.
0.5. Do not copy the, "Things not to do when fighting Kobolds" thread in hope for extra laughs.
1. Do not challenge them to arm-wrestling competitions. More often then not you'll pull back a stump.
1a. And more often then not, they'll pull back a meal.
2. Gnolls do not make good pets, regardless of advertising.
3. Do not mistake gnolls for knolls, it's not very professional.My Happy Song : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dcRj9lQDVGY
Credit goes to Lord_Herman for the fantastic Joseph avatar (and the also fantastic Kremle avatar which I can't use because I'm already using the Joseph one).
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2007-09-13, 10:05 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Apr 2007
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Re: Things not to do when fighting Gnolls.
4. Grassy gnolls are NOT good sniping positions.
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2007-09-13, 10:17 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2004
- Location
- I wish I knew...
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Re: Things not to do when fighting Gnolls.
SpoilerQuite possibly, the best rebuttal I have ever witnessed.
Joker Bard - the DM's solution to the Batman Wizard.
Takahashi no Onisan - The scariest Samurai alive
Incarnum and YOU: a reference guide
Soulmelds, by class and slot: Another Incarnum reference
Multiclassing for Newbies: A reference guide for the rest of us
My homebrew world in progress: Falcora
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2007-09-13, 10:33 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2007
- Location
- Muncie, Indiana
- Gender
Re: Things not to do when fighting Gnolls.
5. A gnoll is dangerous, a g'noll is hilarious.
Being a jerk to people on the internet does not make you cool.
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2007-09-13, 10:34 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2007
- Location
- Cloud 10, bubba
- Gender
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2007-09-13, 10:38 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Apr 2007
- Location
- where dreams are made
- Gender
Re: Things not to do when fighting Gnolls.
7. Attack the Gnoll wearing different armor or non armored gnolls first
(spellcasters ether sorcerer or druid)
8. If the Gnoll has wings or look demonic run awayLast edited by de-trick; 2007-09-13 at 10:38 PM.
Spoiler
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2007-09-13, 11:03 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2006
- Gender
Re: Things not to do when fighting Gnolls.
9. Don't laugh when the gnolls bring out their shortbows, it just makes them aim at your teeth*.
10. Don't assume that since gnolls can't count, they won't know if they outnumber you.
10a. Although a wise idea is to runaway before they realize they outnumber you.
11. Never forget that gnolls don't get penalties to wisdom, so that dog suit won't work.
12. Gnolls are actually closer related to cats then dogs, so send the catfolk out from the hole your hiding in to parle.
13. Gnolls are lazy, but I'm sure their slaves have made plenty of traps for you.
*Or tongue.My Happy Song : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dcRj9lQDVGY
Credit goes to Lord_Herman for the fantastic Joseph avatar (and the also fantastic Kremle avatar which I can't use because I'm already using the Joseph one).
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2007-09-14, 12:39 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2006
Re: Things not to do when fighting Gnolls.
14. always remember, they are laughing at you, not with you
15. begging for mercy only wets their appetite
16. no, they are not just puppys and just need some love, never.
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2007-09-14, 04:24 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2007
- Location
- Reykjavík, Iceland
- Gender
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2007-09-14, 05:34 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jun 2004
- Location
- UK
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2007-09-14, 05:39 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2007
- Gender
Re: Things not to do when fighting Gnolls.
19. Don't panic. At least they're not kobolds.
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2007-09-14, 06:05 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2006
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Re: Things not to do when fighting Gnolls.
19a. Yes, they're only bigger, way stronger, much tougher, and have hyena jaws. There's obviously nothing they have over kobolds, besides they're equipment.
Last edited by Conners; 2007-09-14 at 06:06 AM.
My Happy Song : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dcRj9lQDVGY
Credit goes to Lord_Herman for the fantastic Joseph avatar (and the also fantastic Kremle avatar which I can't use because I'm already using the Joseph one).
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2007-09-14, 10:19 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2006
- Location
- Pacific NW
Re: Things not to do when fighting Gnolls.
20. Do not get them wet. Ever smell wet dog? This is worse. Like wet, burning dog.
"Everything is better on fire."
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2007-09-14, 10:29 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2005
- Location
- Texas
- Gender
Re: Things not to do when fighting Gnolls.
21. If you get a chance to parley with them, it's not pronounced "guh-nole".
They hate that.I DM: For the Love of the Game
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2007-09-14, 11:03 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2005
- Location
- Lincoln
- Gender
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2007-09-14, 11:12 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2006
- Location
- Pacific NW
Re: Things not to do when fighting Gnolls.
23. Gnolls do not like to play fetch. Unless your name is Bugs Bunny.
"Everything is better on fire."
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2007-09-14, 01:00 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2006
- Location
Re: Things not to do when fighting Gnolls.
24. Do not refer to helpful Arcanoloths as "the nicest gnoll you've ever seen." (Someone in my group did this in Planescape -- fortunately it was the Friendly Fiend.)
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2007-09-14, 01:22 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2006
- Location
- under your floorboards
- Gender
Re: Things not to do when fighting Gnolls.
25. stand between a gnoll and his dinner, you may end up on the menu
26. attempt negotiations with a gnoll while wearing your spiffy new magical item "vest of many meats"
26a. or after drinking an "elixer of tastyness"I'm back... possibly... any minute now... brb.
Horny Halfing Avatar by Anna Molly
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2007-09-14, 01:37 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2007
- Location
- The Middle of September
Re: Things not to do when fighting Gnolls.
27. Take measurements of his coat, then size them up to yourself, while drawing out plans for Armani during a peace conference between the gnoll tribes and your elven hamlet. It never helps.
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2007-09-14, 01:58 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2007
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Re: Things not to do when fighting Gnolls.
Last edited by Crow; 2007-09-14 at 01:59 PM. Reason: Spelling!
Avatar by Aedilred
GitP Blood Bowl Manager Cup Record
Styx Rivermen, Feets Reloaded, and Selene's Seductive Strut
Record: 42-17-13
3-time Division Champ, Cup Champion
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2007-09-14, 02:00 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2006
- Location
- Pacific NW
Re: Things not to do when fighting Gnolls.
29. Do not tickle a Gnoll, just to hear his cute hyena-laugh.
Last edited by Crazy_Uncle_Doug; 2007-09-14 at 02:00 PM.
"Everything is better on fire."
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2007-09-14, 02:17 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2005
- Location
- Door County. Wisconisn
- Gender
Re: Things not to do when fighting Gnolls.
30. Make a plan that requires recognizing the difference between male and female gnolls. Seriously, it's nearly impossible.
My colors are Blue/Green. I value versitality, knowledge, evolution, and the nautral world. I have a deep fascination with living things, and a natural talent for adaptation. At my best, I am intuitive and adaptive. At my worst, I am isolated and unsympathetic. My symbol is the twisted tree, and my enemy is Red/Black.
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2007-09-14, 06:16 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2004
Re: Things not to do when fighting Gnolls.
31. Cursing them out as "a pack of cowardly jackals" tends to have unpleasant results.
32. Similarly, asking one, "Didn't you used to be in a Hanna Barbera cartoon?" is also just asking for trouble.
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2007-09-14, 06:51 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jun 2006
- Location
Re: Things not to do when fighting Gnolls.
33. That laugh is not indicative of mellow, friendly individuals, so stop making that joke.
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2007-09-14, 06:53 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jun 2006
- Location
- Fairfield, CA
- Gender
Re: Things not to do when fighting Gnolls.
34. When faced with a gazebo sitting atop a grassy gnoll, remember: it's the gazebo that's dangerous:
SpoilerLast edited by Fax Celestis; 2007-09-14 at 06:54 PM.
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2007-09-15, 01:29 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2007
- Location
- Tail of the Bellcurve
- Gender
Re: Things not to do when fighting Gnolls.
35) Poking gnolls in the armpit doesn't make their legs twitch.
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2007-09-15, 03:47 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2006
- Location
- Cliffport
- Gender
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2007-09-15, 11:19 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jan 2006
- Location
- The Frozen Northlands
- Gender
Re: Things not to do when fighting Gnolls.
36. Alpo is not an adequate distraction.
37. A rolled up newspaper does not count as a +1 Gnollbane Greatclub.
38. Summon swarm cannot be used to bring down demonic fleas.
39. Throwing a bone at a gnoll just reminds it how meaty your thighs are...
40. Remember, control the pet population. Kill or neuter a gnoll today.The Bear is Back.
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2007-09-16, 12:34 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jun 2005
- Location
- Duvall, WA
- Gender
Re: Things not to do when fighting Gnolls.
*Fhaolan just sits there... tapping his harp... and sighs, because he can't resist joining in.*
Don't roll over and play dead. It may confuse them, but only momentarily.
Holding out your hand and saying "Shake a paw?" is a good way to loose the hand.
Going up to the gnoll with the punk rock mohawk and saying "Who does your hair?"... No wait, that might actually work... hold on...
Nope, that didn't help either. Nevermind...Fhaolan by me! Raga avatar by Mephibosheth!
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2007-09-16, 11:37 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2006
- Gender
Re: Things not to do when fighting Gnolls.
41. I don't care if your chaotic evil, half-gnolls are not cute!
42. No, whimpering will not give you a bonus on your diplomacy check.
42a. Nor will it let you make a bluff check to convince the farmers you are an over-sized puppy.
43. Gnoll fur is not in fashion.
43a. No not even then.
43b. You are no longer allowed to skin gnolls.
44. If you repeatedly collect the teeth and body parts of gnoll corpses, then you can only expect to have Yeenoghu's ghouls continually visit their wrath upon you.
44a. Especially after that raid on his temple.
((Sorry if these aren't especially funny, but I was half-asleep when I wrote them.))My Happy Song : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dcRj9lQDVGY
Credit goes to Lord_Herman for the fantastic Joseph avatar (and the also fantastic Kremle avatar which I can't use because I'm already using the Joseph one).