Playgound misfits, Freefrom game for the GuardITP

[Verruckt]

Verrukt listened to the clack of his boots as he walked into the cavernous chamber of living rock that served to contain the rows upon rows of Misfits armor within Starbase Annihilator. Sentinels crouched on their bladed crow-like feet, servitors re-tracking three chimeras. Incense drifted from the niche carved out to contain the regiment's sole Executioner, a rust-robed techpriest was lovingly ministering to its massive plasma gun.

He was heading towards the rear of the vaulted cavern. Here lay ancient and blessed war machines that stretched the lengths of hab blocks. They languished with all the radiance of the Throne itself, anointed with holy unguents and draped with vellum garlands of scripture. Yes, it was safe to say that the Misfits loved their tanks. In one alcove was Verrukt's Marcharius. Her crew and technicians had little to do other than regular maintenance recently. Verrukt looked at his tank and patted the cowling of one massive caterpillar track lovingly. "Your guns have lain silent for to long Ultima, let us hope our commanders give us a chance to fix that soon." He looked over at Goblin's Baneblade and wondered what his commander was up to, hopefully finding a mission that would let the Misfits play the cavalry for once. He sighed and climbed up the hull, stepped over hull stubbers and dropped into the roomy turret. He flopped down into his baby grox leather chair, kicked up his feet on the ottoman, flicked the vox onto the command channel and turned on the caffeine maker Krrth had procured from some manse's parlor years ago. "Crew chief, get me Krrth on the horn, I have an idea for some improvements..."

[Fay Graydon]

Ikaeru walked away from the Vox unit and prayed that the message had gotten through.
A bunch of his men stoop around waiting nervously.
"Sir?" said one gaurdsmen "Is someone coming to save us?"
"I've sent the distress signal... if they do come to our aid then we'll be able to get off this frozen waste land"

Ikaeru looked up... It was snowing... It was always snowing on this Emperor forsaken planet.
A sound started, it was like a tremendous throbbing...
He hauled himself up to the parapets again and glanced out at the battlefield...

What he saw was Hell....

at least A Million Orks thudding their heavy axes into the ground, stomping and firing their guns into the air.
They were working up another WAAAGH.
Panic flashed crossed his face but he quickly regained his composure.

"HIGGS!" He almost screamed "we need that frellin' Baneblade!!!"
Ikaeru knew that the next few days.... they were going to be like an eternity of hell.

[Zenos]

Krahaha heard the tech-priests message on the vox, he found himself a civilian ground vehicle left over and drove as fast as he could (I.E, far over what any speed limit should look like) to recollect his Sentinel.

[Lord Mancow]

Mancow walked onto the command bridge.
"Sorry I'm late Cabal," he said respectively, "Got held up by initiate Wandiya on the way, he was saying something about a ork force that's pinned down a regiment nearby."
He swiftly moved to the briefing table and sat beside Keris, "Ah, Keris! You're just the man that I wanted to see! I've recently been questioned about my conduct recently and it appears that I need to cut down on the flying straight into combat idea and have been told to take a two or three week contemplation of my recent service of the Emperor. During this time I will be unable to command any men so I'm putting you in charge of all resources at my disposal. You can start to command my forces at the next battle. I also humbly apologize for my rash behavior at our last meeting. I can get somewhat carried away with attempting to impress people, I'm sure I've also acquired some of the Misfits' traits."

Mancow then repeated the part about Keris taking command of the Navy to the other officers at the briefing.

[Krrth]

to Trooper Knight:Tau Stealth Commander armor? Don't have any of that, but I do have regular stealth armor. It's not real Tau armor of course-that would be heretical. What I do have is a psi-ops special....it looks like Tau armor so as to ah...confuse..the enemy.


To Verrukt: Yes Sir, what can I do for you?

[Verruckt]

Yes Sir, what can I do for you?

I was just wondering if our stores contained say maybe four of those new pattern assault cannons that use particle induction fields to fire plasma "pulses"? They might be listed as Tau Burst Cannons, but I'm sure that's just a clerical error. Anyway if you do have any on hand I'll need them sent down to deck 5, along with requisite ammunition and fire control systems as well as a couple servitors to set them up for what I have in mind. I can give you a pair of excellently maintained Krieg pattern heavy bolters in return...

[KnightDisciple]

to Trooper Knight:Tau Stealth Commander armor? Don't have any of that, but I do have regular stealth armor. It's not real Tau armor of course-that would be heretical. What I do have is a psi-ops special....it looks like Tau armor so as to ah...confuse..the enemy.

"That, exactly. Think I could come by later to get it, ah, refitted? We might also want to, ah, make sure it's properly marked for our division. Oh, and, um, probably want to give it a good wash inside. Just in case."

[Foeofthelance]

"Oh, Krrth, while everyone is asking for favors, did you by anychance get a hold of any Skybeamer missiles? I've been told by my techpriests that the Machine Spirits of the new tanks you requisitioned for us are very particular about what they will and will not shoot, and the cogboys haven't gotten around to changing that yet. You know the ones the filthy xenos stole the plans for so that they could use them on their Sky Rays?"

Foe turned back towards Colonel Cabal. "Sir, Basilisk Six reports a complete engagement during the last battle. We expended 34% of all amunition stores, and request replacement. We expended 100% of the new Dictionarydade shells as well, but the men report that they handled somewhat oddly, and thus we will not be needing any more. If the Regiment requires us to field test new ammo, we would prefer to do so outside of combat situations. Also would like to note the close kills of five Tau Sky Rays, as well as crews, in close combat actions. Frankly sir, we're the artillery. We're not supposed to be in close combat actions. Require more support to handle that."

"The use of the Thing was also a rousing success, and Emperor be praised it has a fine fighting Machine Spirit. There were some issues with keeping the guns going at high altitudes, but we're working on that by enclosing the gunners areas. I there are any more frames available, we'd like to requisition them. Though do to the sudden nature of the termination of hositilities, we never got a chance to examine the effects. Commander Goblin, could you give us your observations?"

[chiasaur11]

The intercom blared to life.
"Right. Cabal told me to give a briefing on the upcoming rescue mission, as I've been placed in charge of this probable disaster. Anyone not otherwise occupied is to report to the armory. "

Chiasaur clicked off the transmitter. Well, that was done. Now all that was left was breaking the news to the troops there would be no looting, and minimal Xeno killing this operation if the plan worked at all. Well, there was a reason he'd already secured a few battlesuits. And most of the tanks. If one learned anything in the guard, it was how to survive friendly fire.

[Innis Cabal]

Commander Cabal gave a salute to Mancow

"Good to see ya here. You heard my man. Everyone not occupied get to the armory. We've got a plan. When it comes to breaking a seige, you need the big guns."

[Krrth]

Verrukt
You only need four? Help yourself, I've got at least a dozen. I'll get it send down to your vehicle bay right now.


KnightDisciple
Heh...It's being painted now. I've even got something called an "air-freshener" added as well.

Foeofthelance
Skybeamer?...I'm not sure. I've got a bunch of stuff we haven't cataloged yet. You can send someone to check it out, and if they are there, it's yours.

[chiasaur11]

Lt. Chiasaur surveyed the troops in front of him. A mixed bunch, with trained veterans who he'd place money on in a fistfight against Horus in his prime, next to raw recruits who were lucky not to have killed themselves with their lasguns. Heck, he wouldn't have been surprised to see a few Xenos. (Mainly because he had recruited them. Not, as he reflected, his finest hour.) All had two things in common. Enough loyalty to the Imperium not to get shot, and the fact their lives were in his hands. He cleared his throat.

"Right.

We need two groups. Those with experience with Eldar tech and battle strategy, and those without. Basically, at the same time as the Imperial guard unit is rescued by an unarmed but heavily armored transport, a massive Eldar attack hits the Orks. Massive fighting, huge violence, basically the biggest scrap the greenskins have ever seen. As the horde moves in on them, they retreat in the direction of a nearby craftworld. The horde heads for the guys who look like a good fight, leaving a small enough force attacking the guard for the transports to evac, and then we run.

As you may have guessed, we supply the Eldar."

He then said the words which he knew would make him very, very glad for the shielding in between him and the recruits.

"Sadly, as time is of the essence, looting is to be kept to a minimum."

[Verruckt]

Verrukt was minding his own business creating an unholy fusion of Imperial technology and Tau weaponry when the words "We supply the Eldar" drifted over the vox. He spit steaming re-caff all over the wiring of his project and had to quickly beat out a small electrical fire with his hat. He picked up the caster set and stammered "Shall I begin disarming the Gorgons then sir?"

[Lord Mancow]

Mancow acknowledged Cabal and stood up.

"Friends, fellow commanders, the Navy performed very well in the recent battle. The element of surprise allowed us to defeat great numbers of Xeno aircraft and I have it on request from multiple squadron commanders that their thunderbolts, as well as those in their squads be equipped with two or more missile launchers per plane to facilitate a greater ability to tank hunt for ground troops as well the requisite ammunition for infantry killing if necessary. I back their request and wish to requisition these items for the Navy. I would also like to know if we come across any Standard Template Constructs for air to air targeting systems."

He then handed out a data slate to Cabal and Keris.

"This, gentlemen, is the performance of the Navy's fighters and bombers in the most recent action. As you can see we suffered a the loss of 12% of our fighter and 15% of our bombers as well as 8% of the Valkyries, these are planes that were shot down or will require a higher level of mechanical expertise to repair than I have been able to find. A further 10%, 5% and 16% respectively of vehicles were damaged within our ability to repair but will be out of commission for approximately eight days at most. "

Mancow then had an assistant hand out the remaining data slates to the other commanders for observation.

"I appreciate any comments on ways to improve the Lufftwaffe's efficiency."

He then sat down and waited for the next commander's report.

[Innis Cabal]

Commander Cabal took the slate, scanning it over and throwing it to the table, standing up and adjusting his hat.

"Infantry of both heavy and standard regiment suffered a 45% loss on supplies in combat, the numbers lessened by the excellent back up of the Tank divisions.

Our numbers sadly did...well not nearly as well. We suffered heaby casualties at the start of battle. Numbers are comming in now. I estimate we are at 75% fighting capability. Probably less.

On the other hand, the weapons and gear we um...aquired from the Xeno's has greatly been put to use, standard lasguns have been issued as a last resort weapon in at least 6 regiments. The heavy infantry has fared only slightly better. If we were to engage in another sorte...I can not say we will fare well."

Cabal then takes a seat, tipping his hat down.

[chiasaur11]

"No, don't bother Verrukt. We want fast, air capable evac for this, and Gorgons aren't right for that job. You probably have a bunch of tau ships and light fliers half disassembled, so we probably should just slap some PDF paint patterns on those as the Evac craft.

So, to sum up this thing so we don't get any misunderstandings like last time, where someone took 'wait for orders to fire, then ambush the ambassadors, steal the tech, and run' to mean 'Kill the first kroot you see', the plan is: Two teams. One uses Eldar tech to convince the Orks that the Eldar want a good scrap, then run, and leave a nearby craftworld to take the damage. The other uses fliers disguised as unarmed PDF craft to rescue to stranded guard unit, and, if necessary, pick off any Orks not attacking the "Eldar". Any questions?"

[Foeofthelance]

Since there's a good chance that the Tau are going to be pursuing us anyway, do we want to use some of the recently requistioned experimental equipment on the Eldar? That way they can go after the Tau who are coming after us while we lead the Orks to their doorstep. Then we make a clean break for the edge of sector, and clean up what's left.

Oh, and where is the artillery going? We're working on modifiying some of our new vehicles to serve as Things Mk. IIs, codename "These".

[thorgrim29]

-There are no Eldars Foe... we use some of our ahem... requisitioned gear to fake eldar while we disguise dropships as PDF ships ans rescue the boys on the ground. Hopefully, the stupid fungus brains will pursue the "eldar" and let us do what we want.

It's a good plan sir, but I like my imperial gear, do you want me and my squad to take care of a part of the rescue force?

[Zenos]

Krahaha jumped into his sentinel, and put it on a flat-out sprint to get to the other Guard forces. It had been fun walking around torching kroot, but now he could drive around torching kroot!

[chiasaur11]

"Sounds good Thorgrim. Glad someone understands the plan. Also, about the Tau, the fact we're using almost none of the gear we used against them, combined with the slapdash paint jobs and the fact we bombed most of that planet back to the stone age tends to mean we don't have to worry about them yet."

[Innis Cabal]

Commander Cabal reachs across the table, grabbing the Vox Caster

"Are you done with your briefing Lt? I am sure we're all ready to move out and cause some havoc."

[chiasaur11]

"Just about, Sir. So, is the navy getting involved?"

[Fay Graydon]

Higgs had worked his magic... he had managed to get the "Blaineblades" main cannon back on line.
Some members of the 707th had managed to find two "Operational" Leman Russ tanks. (That was the great thing about his boys, they could get just about any vehicle and make it better) Higgs had managed to supervise moving the temperamental gun onto the tanks and they were getting it into position as a bunch of Orks rushed the main gate.

"Bring the wrath of the Emperor down on these Xenos scum!" shouted Ikaeru as the Blaineblade's Mrk I Meteor Cannon burst into life and literally ripped the gate apart and the Orks with it.

"Back into the secondary defences!" Cryed the Major as Orks flooded in through the newly made hole...
Ikaeru increased the power output on his custom made Laspistols to max and proceded to take down an Ork at a time with powerful shots.

The 707th reteaded further into the giant cliff face fort.
Shots dinged here and thier but his men made sure they didnt die without taking at least ten Orks minimum with them.... each man made about fifty before getting hit.
Ikaeru was the last into the secondary defences and he slammed the giant thick doors behind him before sucuring them and proceeding to drive his power gauntleted fist into one of the few Orks that ad made it inside...

It was over... for now...

As Ikaeru did a role call he found out that he had only lost twenty six men... that left around five hundred left.
He was also glad to see his.... Blaineblade had made it too.

[WychWeird]

On his return, WychWeird had set about ensuring the Misfit's vehicles were ready to return to the battlefield.

A voice barked out of the voxcaster, "Are you done with your briefing Lt? I am sure we're all ready to move out and cause some havoc."

"Vehicles ready. You have an additional asset available, the Warhound, which, for some reason one of the Guardsmen has called Wuffles, has been annointed with the ritual oils and lubrications and is thus ready for deployment." WychWeird turned and inspected his servitors; perhaps he ought to take the Praetorian with him this time.

[Zenos]

Krahaha voxed to Wychwierd and said, "thank you mate! May the Omnissiah grant you a long and fulfilling existence."

[Moonlitrebel]

After hearing the lieutenant brief the troops about their next mission, Trooper Moon promptly spoke up.

"If its okay with you sir, I will be part of the Evac team, Sir!"

Sometimes he wondered how he got himself mixed in with this regiment, Their penchant for using heretical and Xenos weaponry was... Disturbing. But he kept that unspoken. All he knew was that he would be dead and gone before using Xenos armor and weaponry, and he sure didn't intend to be dead anytime soon. Besides, he loved his flamer too much to let it go, ever. Even for one mission.

[Raroy]

Ralvious was surprised by this regiments methods. Their tactics, their style, their salvaging, it certainly not the kind of military he thought it would be. Of course, the horror of battle had stricken him. Most of his own squad were eviscerated or blasted into dust. That one guy he-sorta-kinda knew died as well. Sad, although, if he had not died Ralvious would not have been able to use his heavy weapon which saved his life. Unsurprisingly, the heavy weapon was....heavy, so he had to leave it behind.

He had found an interesting book. A tau to human dictionary. He kept his mind off the carnage during evac while taking peaks at it. Some of the basics of greeting words were elaborate tongue twisters that even a....some sort of machine....could not pronounce. "Ki.....Ke....Kie...ugh. Maybe later."

[Zenos]

Krahaha came over a guardsman reading some kind of dictionary. He peeked out over the edge of his sentinel, and asked, "Interesting reading soldier?"

[Raroy]

Raroy responded without looking up, "I'm just the kind of person who is interested in reading dictionaries." He let out a sigh and tried to locate the source of the voice. When he spotted the man in the walking tank, he let out a contented smile. "You know, I've never seen these things up close. They are very....majestic?" Raroy pondered to himself if that was a proper word to use.

[thorgrim29]

-Well then, I take everyone understands the plan, and i wont get a book on the head in lieu of a signal this time?

An experienced soldier, Thorgrim knows that no plan survives the first minutes of combat intact, but usually the combat actually starts before he has to improvise...