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2012-08-22, 12:47 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
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- Gothenburg, Sweden
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Re: LGBTAitP 26: No Time For Snappy Titles
*writes on a piece of paper*
Avatar by CoffeeIncluded
Oooh, and that's a bad miss.
“Don't exercise your freedom of speech until you have exercised your freedom of thought.”
― Tim Fargo
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2012-08-22, 01:01 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2008
- Location
- UK
- Gender
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2012-08-22, 01:03 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2010
- Location
- Usaki City, Syona
- Gender
Re: LGBTAitP 26: No Time For Snappy Titles
Recent Homebrew: The Socialite | The Crystalline: Memory Altering Construct Race | Sanguine Hand, a ToB Discipline of blood and cruelty
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2012-08-22, 01:27 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2011
- Location
- A Pub Near You
- Gender
Re: LGBTAitP 26: No Time For Snappy Titles
My Extended Signature, Check it out!
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Amazing Irish Avatar by Savannah
My own 5e Bard Subclass
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2012-08-22, 01:32 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2010
- Location
- Usaki City, Syona
- Gender
Re: LGBTAitP 26: No Time For Snappy Titles
I don't speak sign
Recent Homebrew: The Socialite | The Crystalline: Memory Altering Construct Race | Sanguine Hand, a ToB Discipline of blood and cruelty
Homebrew Signature | NEW Homebrew Collection
Thanks to all my avatar artists, especially to Paisley for my avatar of Vivian, cowardly cryophoenix.
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2012-08-22, 01:39 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2011
- Location
- A Pub Near You
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Re: LGBTAitP 26: No Time For Snappy Titles
My Extended Signature, Check it out!
DMing:
Amazing Irish Avatar by Savannah
My own 5e Bard Subclass
Made by the awesome Wartex1!
LGBTA+ Ally
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2012-08-22, 01:43 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2010
- Location
- Usaki City, Syona
- Gender
Re: LGBTAitP 26: No Time For Snappy Titles
I don't have to read :P
Recent Homebrew: The Socialite | The Crystalline: Memory Altering Construct Race | Sanguine Hand, a ToB Discipline of blood and cruelty
Homebrew Signature | NEW Homebrew Collection
Thanks to all my avatar artists, especially to Paisley for my avatar of Vivian, cowardly cryophoenix.
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2012-08-22, 01:46 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2007
- Location
- The Netherlands
Re: LGBTAitP 26: No Time For Snappy Titles
Something weird just happened.
For a very long time I've been having difficulty buying the right jeans, since I'm quite skinny and have rather long legs, meaning most of my jeans are too short. We were watching television just now and he suddenly said, out of the blue: "Maybe you should try buying women's jeans. Maybe they'd fit you better." He wasn't joking and seemed serious. I wasn't sure what was going on, so I didn't say anything and he just looked at me for a few seconds, not explaining himself and then adding "I just saw those women on television, and thought you might want to wear those jeans". It was a really weird situation and really something I wouldn't think he'd say normally. I might have been imagining things, but it felt like he was trying to say something. When I wanted to continue the conversation a few moments later, he seemed completely disinterested in it though.
Am I being paranoid to now suspect my father would be on to me?
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2012-08-22, 02:30 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
- Location
- Gothenburg, Sweden
- Gender
Re: LGBTAitP 26: No Time For Snappy Titles
If he's on to you, it doesn't seem to be in a bad way. We really need more information about your Dad to decide.
Edit: re Lix - it seems we'll have to bring out the big guns. *shouts* Celtic - wanna make out in front of Lixie?Last edited by Asta Kask; 2012-08-22 at 02:50 PM.
Avatar by CoffeeIncluded
Oooh, and that's a bad miss.
“Don't exercise your freedom of speech until you have exercised your freedom of thought.”
― Tim Fargo
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2012-08-22, 02:58 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2011
- Location
- A Pub Near You
- Gender
Re: LGBTAitP 26: No Time For Snappy Titles
I have to agree with Asta, need more info. However, if he is on to you, form the sounds of it, it does not sound like a bad thing.
Shoot. Why not? I may be staight, but it ain't the first time I would have kissed a guy......I am in theater after allMy Extended Signature, Check it out!
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Amazing Irish Avatar by Savannah
My own 5e Bard Subclass
Made by the awesome Wartex1!
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2012-08-22, 03:04 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
- Location
- Gothenburg, Sweden
- Gender
Re: LGBTAitP 26: No Time For Snappy Titles
Well, I'm straight too, if that's any consolation...
Avatar by CoffeeIncluded
Oooh, and that's a bad miss.
“Don't exercise your freedom of speech until you have exercised your freedom of thought.”
― Tim Fargo
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2012-08-22, 03:04 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2010
- Location
- Usaki City, Syona
- Gender
Re: LGBTAitP 26: No Time For Snappy Titles
Recent Homebrew: The Socialite | The Crystalline: Memory Altering Construct Race | Sanguine Hand, a ToB Discipline of blood and cruelty
Homebrew Signature | NEW Homebrew Collection
Thanks to all my avatar artists, especially to Paisley for my avatar of Vivian, cowardly cryophoenix.
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2012-08-22, 03:08 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2011
- Location
- A Pub Near You
- Gender
Re: LGBTAitP 26: No Time For Snappy Titles
My Extended Signature, Check it out!
DMing:
Amazing Irish Avatar by Savannah
My own 5e Bard Subclass
Made by the awesome Wartex1!
LGBTA+ Ally
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2012-08-22, 03:15 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jan 2011
- Location
- Somewhere south of Hell
- Gender
Re: LGBTAitP 26: No Time For Snappy Titles
Oh goodness you've got a standardized graphic for it. XD
I would say do not worry about him being on to you.
Jeans are perfectly neutral in most regards, and ladies jeans are just a different size an cut, unless you're getting the but sculpting lowcut leg toning jeans. It sounds like a win-win, as either he might know, since he knows you more intimately than I do, and he may have picked up subtle clues. If so then maybe he's trying to bridge a gap. If not, then it's a perfect opening to work in the conversation, and a subtle clue that can segue you in.
I would sy be careful an have some explanations ready though, as the worst casescenario I can think of is his thinking that telling you to buy girl's clothes turned you into a transsexual or something. You may want benchmarks from your personal history in mind Si you can prove this is a preexisting condition.
Best of luck, luv.
guys, no, come on
If she redshifts any more she will be frozen in time
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2012-08-22, 03:16 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
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2012-08-22, 03:31 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Apr 2011
- Location
- Ashes...
- Gender
Re: LGBTAitP 26: No Time For Snappy Titles
Thanks. I still don't feel too great, but at least I'm feeling better. Wow. That was extremely sucky.
SpoilerI've never felt that horribly bad. When I was trying to go to sleep last night, I felt like I wanted to go back to before: back to my old, cruddy job, back to not knowing, like somehow living with the constant disappointment would be better than facing my fears and myself and reaching for what I want. It went so far that I was seriously considering quitting my new job and trying to get my old one back. I don't know what my plan was to make myself forget, especially because I've already told two of my friends, and they wouldn't exactly drop it that easily.
Luckily, I snapped out of that before I did anything stupid.
On a related note, is there anyone who might be willing to help me draft an "exploratory" e-mail to some local gender therapists (in PM, of course)? Stuff like this can't go on, and although talking to all the great people here is helpful, I haven't done any actual, you know, talking. I've assembled a list of local specialists, but I'm both paralyzed with fear, and without any idea of what to say to indroduce myself*. I keep telling myself that I'll do it some time later - the big one right now is, "when I move out." But that's at least six months away, and I don't think I can wait that long...
*This is the biggest reason why I'm asking, by the way.
I think this is a golden opportunity for you to talk to your dad. If you're ready for you parents to know, then now is the time. Some options:
You've already said you don't want to write a letter or e-mail, which is fine. But like you were thinking, writing down everything you want to say beforehand would be a good way to organize your thoughts. You could use it as a script of sorts, or, if as you fear you start crying and are unable to continue, you could give it to your dad so that the message still gets across.
As someone else suggested, just getting into it when you're both together is a good idea. However, I'd suggest dinner instead of breakfast, when it's less likely that either of you will have anywhere to go soon, so you can take your time and talk, and so that he has a chance to sleep on it before interacting with other people again .
Another thing you can do, if just blurting it out doesn't quite work, is to have him trap you. Tell him something like, "I have something very important to tell you. Don't let me leave until I've told you." Or you could do a mixture - leave him a note that says the same thing, and set a time when you'll sit down to talk, and he can't let you leave.
Hopefully, everything will go well. And, if it does, then you can talk to him about your fears about telling your mom, and see if he has any good ideas on how to approach her. The Succubus gave some pretty good advice a while ago, which I will dutifully parrot back: don't make it about sides. Ask you dad for help telling her, but don't make it "us vs. her." That's a great way to cause antagonism.
About the jeans thing. It doesn't sound all that much like he's on to you (see noparlpf, re: men and being blunt), but if he is, that'll make things even easier. And if he isn't, that gives you a great joke to lighten the mood when you finally tell him!
Woah, cool! That's a reassuring statistic! Thanks!
--?Last edited by Absol197; 2012-08-22 at 03:39 PM.
"It is important to draw wisdom from many different places. If you take it from only one place, it becomes rigid and stale." --Iroh
LGBTAitP! If you want to talk, learn, or have some fun, stop by!
Avatar by the lovely Lycunadari!
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2012-08-22, 03:34 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2010
- Location
- Usaki City, Syona
- Gender
Re: LGBTAitP 26: No Time For Snappy Titles
Recent Homebrew: The Socialite | The Crystalline: Memory Altering Construct Race | Sanguine Hand, a ToB Discipline of blood and cruelty
Homebrew Signature | NEW Homebrew Collection
Thanks to all my avatar artists, especially to Paisley for my avatar of Vivian, cowardly cryophoenix.
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2012-08-22, 04:34 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2008
- Location
- Malsheem, Nessus
- Gender
Re: LGBTAitP 26: No Time For Snappy Titles
Last edited by PairO'Dice Lost; 2012-08-22 at 04:35 PM.
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2012-08-22, 06:42 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2011
- Gender
Re: LGBTAitP 26: No Time For Snappy Titles
On a related related note, would anyone with experience with such therapists mind explaining the general process for going to see one? Do I need a referral of some kind, or can I just schedule an appointment with the relevant office, and does the process vary by state?(US)? Is there anything else I should know for looking for a therapist and going to see one for the first time? PM is fine, if it would disrupt the thread too much, I just have no idea what I'm doing.
This Minase Iori avatar is a masterwork by Qwernt
DS Friend Code for Pokemon Trades and such. 1549 7971 5718
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2012-08-22, 07:18 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Apr 2011
- Location
- Ashes...
- Gender
Re: LGBTAitP 26: No Time For Snappy Titles
Actually, I could probably use answers to many of these questions, too. See the bolded portion for why. I had assumed that you just got in touch and set up an intial appointment, like with any other psychiatric specialist, but I could very well be way off the mark. Once again, bolded portion.
Last edited by Absol197; 2012-08-22 at 07:23 PM.
"It is important to draw wisdom from many different places. If you take it from only one place, it becomes rigid and stale." --Iroh
LGBTAitP! If you want to talk, learn, or have some fun, stop by!
Avatar by the lovely Lycunadari!
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2012-08-22, 07:49 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2005
Re: LGBTAitP 26: No Time For Snappy Titles
Wut, that seems SUPER tall. I thought the average woman in the US was around 5'4", or 64 inches. Stdev seems right though, maybe a bit on the low side--3" or so, perhaps? This is just guesstimation from looking at my friend group. I definitely disagree with the average height though.
(This would put a woman at 6'1" in the 99th percentile of height, and a woman at 6'4" in the 99.9th percentile of height, as opposed to 95th and 99th respectively with a 5'8" average height.)
I can also say that I personally know several cis women who are over 5'10" (average American man height), mostly because their parents were also super tall. 6'1" is tall for a human, to be perfectly honest.
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2012-08-22, 07:59 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
- Location
- Gothenburg, Sweden
- Gender
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2012-08-22, 07:59 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Apr 2006
- Location
- WA, USA
- Gender
Re: LGBTAitP 26: No Time For Snappy Titles
The last study I saw (some time ago, so I have no evidence of what I am saying) claimed the average American man was 5' 10" and the average American woman was 5' 7".
My fiance (a 6' 1" woman) regularly complains that ideal height/weight charts stop at 5' 11" for females, and that it is nearly impossible to find clothes that fit properly. Because she happens to be in the 99th percentile, dresses often come up short. VERY SHORT. I have no problem with this, but I see where her frustration lies.
EDIT: This link agrees with my male numbers, not so much with my female numbers...
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2012-08-22, 08:08 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2005
Re: LGBTAitP 26: No Time For Snappy Titles
I'm going with the Wikipedia numbers on average height, which are from a 2008 CDC health statistics survey.
The stdev is an estimation.
Ooh, reading further, the same study lists the stdev for women's height as 1.8 inches, and for men's at about 2.1 inches. This puts the 95th percentile for height at 68 inches, and the 99th at 70, though, which seems strange. Maybe I just know a lot of tall people
Edit: WAIT NO I'M DUMB AND CAN'T READ, it's 2.2 for women and 2.5 for men.Last edited by blackfox; 2012-08-22 at 08:12 PM.
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2012-08-22, 08:32 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2006
- Location
- Under a 1st Ed AD&D DMG
Re: LGBTAitP 26: No Time For Snappy Titles
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2012-08-22, 08:39 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
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2012-08-22, 08:42 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2010
- Location
- Dublin, Ireland
- Gender
Re: LGBTAitP 26: No Time For Snappy Titles
Cheerfairy, Kenderwoman and Geologist by Succubus, Feminist Geomancer by Astrella, Kender Wizard by me
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2012-08-22, 08:50 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2006
- Location
- Under a 1st Ed AD&D DMG
Re: LGBTAitP 26: No Time For Snappy Titles
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2012-08-22, 08:51 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2011
- Gender
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2012-08-22, 11:59 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2008
- Location
- Bottom of a well
Re: LGBTAitP 26: No Time For Snappy Titles