LGBTAitP 26: No Time For Snappy Titles

[Astrella]

*snip*

Sexism isn't one gender's fault or cause. It's a whole bunch of harmful attitudes that are upheld by society at large; people of every gender contribute to them.

The problem is sorta that attitudes are hard to change; things that are common are often seen as things that are okay, that are the standard. But yeah, it's attitudes that are to be attacked (and the media plays a huge part is spreading these attitudes and upholding them to be true.) rather then blaming a gender.

Not that there isn't a decent group of people invested in keeping things the way they are; just look at how much backlash discussions about say portrayal of female characters in video games get.

Sexism is a collection of pervasive attitudes that get reinforced by people of every gender.

-----

*hugs for Shiro*

(I really need to catch up with the thread again.)

[Absol197]

Here's a new thread I started for the discussion of a posiible Werewolf: the Forsaken game.
Now we can stop clogging things up here.

I agree with Astrella completely about the causes of sexism. In fact, and sort of -ism is usually maintained by the same sort of process. The only way to get rid of them is to treat the society as a whole, not small pieces or portions.

[SiuiS]

Hugs for anyone who needs them. Especially Shiro *huggles*

Also, I'd like to join in on that Werewolf game if SiuiS starts it It looks like it'd be great fun!

Spoiler

Show

Anyone know of good ways to deal with stress without running away from the problem? :/ It's all I can do right now.. My second-most best friend Nathan found out the other day that his girlfriend (who is also my sister, I live with both of them but am at Elemental's place at the moment to relax, he's the bestest friend ) has been cheating on him for two months, and he's been up and down ever since he found out on Friday night last week.. One minute he's sobbing, next he's yelling angrily and smashing things. He knows I'm scared/stressed (to the point of being physically sick) even though he said he won't hurt me 'cause he loves me like a brother. But I just.. don't know anymore. They were fine one minute, the next minute he's breaking some of her stuff around the house while she was out 'at a friend's place' (but we now know the truth).

Ah. I've been there, too. In his place I mean. Nothing quite like the betrayal of a loved one, actual or perceived, to set one on the furthest edge.

I don't know how long you've known the guy, but I'll say: trust him. In anger, I have done some terrible Things, but the closest to hitting some one unintentionally was veering to the side and hitting a wall instead of a pillow... Because they tried to interpose themselves so I wouldn't hit the pillow

It's hard. It's really hard being Ina position where viscerally you want to take something apart at the cell level but trying to maintain who you are. To stick to language, rationality and appeals instead of growls and howls and shrieks. And unfortunately, there is nothing you can do to help him; someone at that level of distress may as well be a force of nature. He can eventually bring himself around, but if he wants to he will, and if he doesn't, you'd possibly just make things worse.

So take care of yourself. If you need somewhere to go and destroys, that's okay. It's not fair you are in the middle of this problem at all, you don't deserve that. And while he may want to take your feelings into account, it will probably be a faster process for him if you aren't a variable to think about. Y'know? Try meditation, controlled breathing, even just controlled movements that require focus, like dancing in slow motions or something. Or write. Just, whatever comes to mind. Anything that has a small, mindless physical component can help you unwind as your body channels into it.

Or a hot bath, all the time, where you just soak. I'm working towards one I those right now, myself.

I just read about someone giving examples for the need of feminism, one of which was unrealistic standards of beauty for women.

And from all the things I've learned about gender roles and models in the last decade of my adult life, I got the impression that this isn't really a case of sexism against women.
Any time a discussion gets to the point where men say "Well, I really wouldn't mind if you would be wearing more plain things and forget about makeup altogether", the reply that young women in their 20s and 30s give seems to be "This isn't about you, this is a women thing".
And really, where is all the beauty and fashion stuff at its highest and craziest levels? In magazines and tv showes aimed at women. And all the stupid movies that portray horrible examles of priorities for young women and relationships? No man would ever want to watch them.

Now, I am not a woman and I don't care for fashion, so I don't have an inside perspective on these things and only see things from the outside.
But what do the women say? Is the obsession with appearance really something that is forced on women by demanding men who refuse to give women a chance if they don't conform to the made up beauty standards? Or is it something that women are doing to each other and it doesn't have anything to do with sexism and inequality?

I think that is beside the point.

If feminism is equality for women, it doesn't matter from Who. It only matters that everyone treats them equally.

I think fashion is a place where everyone does it, do everyone does it. It's easy for women in fashion to say the men do it. It's easy for the men to say the women do it. I liken it to old people and traction.

An example, is the nerd/jock dichotomy. I don't know about you, but in the thirty years I have direct access to (some from slightly older family members an friends) this has neer played out. No one cares who the quarterback was, no one could tell you who prom queen was going to be. Or even when prom was. But all the people writing shows about kids in high school kept drawing on their experiences anyway and it took on a life of it's own. it's an urban legend that everyone thinks their school is blessed not to really have, or that they'd like to bring back - I've seen no dearth of small cliques in letter jackets, hoping I make a statement by pulling on the myths of high school life.

The fashion industry is full of 'visionaries' who make their names by playing sound with rules f fashion that never really existed. An article of clothing, so daring, that cut! Oh my! It's nothing like your mother's fashions, it's so revolutionary! Except the 'mother fashion' they refer to was the same. The beauty standard is self perpetuating, probably not the least because of the blowback from trying to fight the standard and people saying "why? Leave it alone!". There isn't anyone to blame. There is an issue to be fixed.

Provided of course that I made any sense. I have a tendency to think I'm coherent when I'm anything but.

I remember on my gradation from school when standing in line for the food, I talked with some of the women and they commented on my combination of trousers, shirt, and jacket and bemoaned that they are always stuck with just picking a single piece dress that doesn't have any options for creative and individual touches.

So unfair!!!

I start showing after half a day. It takes four or five days for me to start calling it a beard.
Which doesn't help me at all at trying to get a highly androgynous look. Now after a year of wet shaving, I think my skin is ready to take a third pass against the grain.

This makes me think you know secret shaving techniques. Or any techniques at all.

Share?

well, according to a friend of mine it's a bit of both (and not just done by men only).

My guess is that it was a growing trend of men telling what they liked in women, to women, giving birth to the fashion industry. In time the fashion industry started to advertise by spreading media messages of said ideal (even when the ideal changes from time to time into things I as a man have doubts of being attractive). here si the problem with humanity (possibly only the male part but w/e): people think that when something is successful, more of it is even more successful. Following those ideas if the fashion ideal was a normal albeit slightly skinny or slender figure, over time the skinnyness may have been pushed into an extreme. Here's the trick: it may have started in an ideal shaping media, in time media has been shaping the ideal bewitching both men and women. So I wonder if it is still men (in general) repressing women in a certain beauty ideal, or if it is the media in general who's to blame (who are not all male).

The thing about models being super skinny actually happened really recently. There was one woman, a wee slip of a thing, who went by Twiggy. She hit like a storm as everyone thought she was new! So revolutionary! Or so The story goes. I have no reason to disbelieve, but is never been relevant and I didn't care. It's a start of where one could begin research though.

[Yora]

This makes me think you know secret shaving techniques. Or any techniques at all.

Share?

Shave once along the grain.
Shave again at a right angle to the grain.
And if you still look badly shaved, shave again against the grain.

But that's a bit rough on the skin if it us not used to razors. So at first do only two runs.

[Castaras]

RE: Fashion.

It's not just a women directed at women thing. Yes, it's a big thing of women feeling pressurised to wear specific clothes because otherwise other women will gossip about them in corners. Same with shaving, doing stuff to hair, makeup.

But all this comes from the culture of fashion. It's a thing that pushes both men and women to do things which are expensive, unhealthy, and do things to self-esteem (both good and bad, I'll add - sometimes being able to walk out the door in makeup, hair done up, and gorgeous dress can be a real boost of confidence. Whether this is a byproduct of the fashion industry or not is another question entirely).

Feminism, ideally, shouldn't be called Feminism. It's not just about giving women rights. it's about protecting everyone's rights and making people equal. It's called feminism because in the past the biggest issues were the ones that were facing women. Nowadays we have feminism in the form of giving men paternity leave, giving women same wages as men (and vice versa - female tennis players for instance do less work and get paid more than male tennis players), and trying to eradicate the more subtle sexism - if you have a board of directors that are all male, it's more likely than not to choose a male over a female candidate for promotion.

But that's getting off topic - what I'm getting at is that it doesn't matter where the fashion industry originated. Nowadays, you have both women and men solidifying the stereotypes and issues of women needing to put in effort to look like the photoshopped magazine celebrities. Which is a losing battle.

Though this is only my £0.02. I personally wear jeans + tshirts all the time, envy guys on being able to wear one suit all the time (another stereotype, girls who wear suits or trousers+shirt instead of dresses to formal events get labelled as lesbians - and while there's nothing wrong with being a lesbian, the nature the labelling is done in is exceedingly negative and can break people's selfesteems, once again), and when I do dress up I still don't bother with makeup, and mostly just keep my hair in a plait - and occasionally let it down to loose when it's a special once or twice a year event. The only experience I have with the fashion phenomena is when people give me dirty looks for not shaving my legs, armpits, or more personal parts - and because of the dirty looks and talking from school, I still feel self-conscious about it. Better than before - I can actually wear a swimsuit now - but still an issue of self-esteem.

[pffh]

Shave once along the grain.
Shave again at a right angle to the grain.
And if you still look badly shaved, shave again against the grain.

But that's a bit rough on the skin if it us not used to razors. So at first do only two runs.

Be warned that shaving against the grain can increase the chance of ingrown hair.

[The Succubus]

So I saw a Yahoo news article on Lana Wackowski's transition. Nothing in depth, merely referring to an article in some magazine. And then I made a fatal mistake - I scrolled down to the comments section at the bottom. Now, Yahoo comments are pretty disgusting at the best of times but this is the first time I've read something that has actually made me feel physically nauseous. Bravo, Yahoo, you've sunk to a whole new level.

[Fragenstein]

My secret to a great shave?

Spoiler

Show

Seriously. I've tried gels, foams and all sort of nonsense. Nothing works as well. For me, at least.

[Yora]

Be warned that shaving against the grain can increase the chance of ingrown hair.

It also didn't work for me. Just tried it, half my face is sore, and you still see that I do grow a beard. Yes, it's a bit smoother, but that will be gone in an hour anyway.

[pffh]

It also didn't work for me. Just tried it, half my face is sore, and you still see that I do grow a beard. Yes, it's a bit smoother, but that will be gone in an hour anyway.

The smoothest shave I get is when I take a hot shower to soften the skin, use a fair amount of shaving cream applied with one of those brushes to frizzle the hairs and then finally I shave with a straight razor.

But yeah that only lasts a couple of hours thanks to me overactive beard.

[noparlpf]

What I want to know is, why do women get all the fun fashion choices to begin with? I hate wearing boring clothes. I hate baggy jeans and plain t-shirts. I only like buttoned shirts if they incorporate some interesting element -- such as the bright orange slik shirt I own with a painted tiger splashed all over it.

Normally I compensate by wearing t-shirts with humorous captions -- such as the bright yellow "WARNING: I DO DUMB THINGS" that's a running favorite. I don't want to wear any generic nonsense. I want something interesting, dammit!

And that's not to impress other people, at least not as I understand it unless I have some repressed need for attention. I wear things like that because, otherwise, I might as well throw on a bathrobe and sit at home, unwashed and with a TV remote glue to my hand.

If I look at my wardrobe and start seeing... plain t-shirt, plain sweatshirt... uninspired button-down collar with no interesting cut...

Well, I just go back to bed.

On the plus side, I at least know that my underwear collection will keep me from ever being boring, even if far fewer people get the chance to see me actually wearing them.

I like boring clothes. >:|
Also, don't ruin it for the rest of us who enjoy being able to get away with a boring plain black suit and tie at formal events. It's those few guys who put thought into their outfits who make the rest of us look bad.


Yora: The sexist culture around female apparel and makeup is perpetuated by both men and women. Women pressure each other into it, they feel pressured into it by men, the media pressures them into it. It's everyone's fault.

[Fragenstein]

I like boring clothes. >:|
Also, don't ruin it for the rest of us who enjoy being able to get away with a boring plain black suit and tie at formal events. It's those few guys who put thought into their outfits who make the rest of us look bad.

Black suit and tie? Excuse me, but...

Spoiler

Show

Sometimes it actually IS all in how you wear it.

[SiuiS]

Dresses and makeup are the female version of chest bumping. Yes, it has the added benefit of showing your qualities to potential mates, but primarily it's all about establishing dominance in the peer group.

Remember ladies, when you dress up to upstage other girls, this is what you are actually doing.

Spoiler

Show

This reminds me of when we saw that new batman flick opening night. There was an advert, of fourteen year old girls playing soccer. And one of them pulls ff her scrunchy to reveal perfectly coiffured hair. Another sucks under the camera edge and comes back one creek in make up. Finally, the entire team marches across the field in 'sexy' dresses and stilletos heels. All the while the announcer talks about how sending little girls messages like this ALL THE TIME is bad.

During the commercial? A solid group of guys al start hollering and showing their support for the make up and heels. I hollered at them that they were missing the point (which got a riot from the rest of the theatre as everyone laughed at them), but it was... Telling.

Shave once along the grain.
Shave again at a right angle to the grain.
And if you still look badly shaved, shave again against the grain.

But that's a bit rough on the skin if it us not used to razors. So at first do only two runs.

Hm. Right angles, might be tough. Worth a go though, thank you.

Be warned that shaving against the grain can increase the chance of ingrown hair.

I have that kind of curl hair you see on Braveheart that you assume all te peasants have because they're dirty. It's not dirty, it's just both thick and massively curly. I get ingrown hairs on my face from shaving my legs. XD

Tank you for the warning though. I'll have to evaluate whether the possibility of more ingrown hairs is worth the effort.

So I saw a Yahoo news article on Lana Wackowski's transition. Nothing in depth, merely referring to an article in some magazine. And then I made a fatal mistake - I scrolled down to the comments section at the bottom. Now, Yahoo comments are pretty disgusting at the best of times but this is the first time I've read something that has actually made me feel physically nauseous. Bravo, Yahoo, you've sunk to a whole new level.

I am morbidly curious. But please don't indulge me. I have this addiction to doing stupid things out of curiosity, and I'm not going to get better if I'm enabled.

I hope you feel better though? You seem like a sweet person. Anything that could trouble you that badly... I hope you can write it off. Remember, a lot of those people grow up, look back and want to smack their younger selves.

It also didn't work for me. Just tried it, half my face is sore, and you still see that I do grow a beard. Yes, it's a bit smoother, but that will be gone in an hour anyway.

Hmm...

Damn. Okay, so it seems like you're right. The extra two hours of smooth aren't worth the two weeks of ingrown hair and facial pain.

The smoothest shave I get is when I take a hot shower to soften the skin, use a fair amount of shaving cream applied with one of those brushes to frizzle the hairs and then finally I shave with a straight razor.

But yeah that only lasts a couple of hours thanks to me overactive beard.

... Right, so stabbed in the face with electrified needles it is.
A shame though. Being able to use a straight razor is a skill every human should learn. There is value in self supported manual skill. Perhaps I'll learn anyway? I may have a son one day. Or a hirsute daughter. Is it true that leg hair on ladies stops at the upper lip?

[noparlpf]

Black suit and tie? Excuse me, but...

Spoiler

Show

Sometimes it actually IS all in how you wear it.

It's not that I don't wear it well if it fits well, it's that for a lot of us not having the make decisions about what to wear is a blessing.



Oh, so I saw a picture of two women (seems like they were dressed for Slutwalk or something?) with slogans against rape on their bellies. Except one of them says, "How would you like it if I raped you?" Which is a valid point, but perhaps not well thought out. And of course the internet is full of dumbasses who say stuff like "yes please" in various forms, and make all kinds of rape jokes. I need to learn to stop scrolling down to the comments sections of things. >:|

[Irish Musician]

*Sad Tale of being dumped*

I am very sorry man, and while I haven't had the confusion side of it before, I have had the "we should just be friends" side of it plenty. Look, the bottom line is that you are not worse without him. I know it feels like it now but you are (from the context I am guessing here so don't hate me if I am wrong) young and there will be plenty of good-looking, verile men out there that will be SO lucky to have you as their man, they just don't even know it yet. So chin up and remember one thing that my sister told me when I was 14 and it has stuck with me ever since: You are your own person. You can be with someone and love them and be completely head-over-heels for them, but there is one thing that you have to do while you are with someone.....keep you independence and your own identity. Be your own person, just be your own person with their own person. And if you can both pull that off without becoming dependent on each other, then life will be much easier and better. Because you both will be comfortable enough with each other to have separate lives.

That isn't to say that you shouldn't do things together/just be stupid in love about each other (Cuz that is how I feel about my wife, even still) but always have the confidence to say, "I am me, and me is good."

Spoiler

Show

We should start our own LGBTAitP Werewolf game! It would be great fun!

I hate being so shy and scared all the time. I really miss out on a lot that way. Once I get used to something I'm fine, but it's getting there that's so hard.

I'd be up for that. And you know what helps confidence? Getting naked and walking around when no one is around. Be comfortable with yourself, and everything else will fall into place

[Mina Kobold]

So you should visit!

Not directed at me, but I will do it anyway! :3

The fact that I have a school trip to Dublin next month is entirely coincidental.
>_>
<_<

I would like to visit Ireland and the UK at some point. As an English-speaker with just a smidge Spanish, they're really my main options for not-USA places to go.

A lot of places have English as the second language taught in schools, so there should be a lot of options outside those speaking primarily English. Be prepared for the horrible accents we have, however. X3

*Hugs/cookies for Shiro and everybody else needing one*

[Asta Kask]

Shiro, I can only say this. It will pass. The pain grows weaker and weaker and then one day it's gone. *hug*

Massachusetts must pay for inmates sex change.

Comments?

[golentan]

Shiro, it sounds like it wasn't about not liking you, but about his own internal insecurities. That means there's hope. Talk to him about things: Even if you can't work them out now, you can stay friends. And maybe things will work out in the future.

[Heliomance]

I'd be up for that. And you know what helps confidence? Getting naked and walking around when no one is around. Be comfortable with yourself, and everything else will fall into place

Not if your naked body is the root of everything that's wrong, as I believe it is with Absol.

So there's a bunch of kids that live a couple of doors down from me that have seen me walking past as both a guy and a girl, and I think are very confused. I still remember fondly the first time I walked past them as a guy after being female for a few weeks, and a loud "Oh. My. God!" was heard as they realised that I was the girl that they'd seen around recently.

Anyway, I was fairly sure that they'd pegged me as a guy who sometimes dressed as a girl, but I saw them again today. I'd made an effort for androgyny today, and I think if I saw myself in the street (you know what I mean) my first instinct would be female, but I wouldn't want to make the call. I saw them, and one of the girls asked curiously, "Are you a lady?"

My response? I smiled, and said "Maybe."

[PairO'Dice Lost]

after being away for a month on various boy scouts trips and camps, he comes back (I'm still not sure if he talked to me as soon as he got back or if he had been back for days and just didn't know what to say to me) and tells me he isn't comfortable with himself, and that I deserve better than that. I can't really remember the details of his speech, since it was about a month/three weeks ago. He even told me he was going to look into reversion therapy.

[...]

he comes to the realization in this GSA community Facebook group that it was all just to much straightness from boy scouts and he's all fine now.

Having spent a week-long stint every summer for several years at Boy Scout camp, a.k.a. "that place where insecure young men spend several weeks trying to prove they're More Masculine Than You and the three most popular merit badges are Swimming, Rifle Shooting, and Gay-Bashing," I can see why spending a month in that environment would make him very, very uncomfortable. I was never tempted to try conversion therapy, fortunately, but that's partly because I'd looked into it and determined it was scientifically and religiously bogus at an early age--if he's unfortunate enough to be in a troop with the sort of leaders who talk about "fixing the gays" and not letting [F-word]s into Scouting (as one of my leaders was before we basically mutinied, long story) and if he's only come to terms with himself lately, I can see why it might be a tempting prospect.

You should definitely talk to him and tell him how you feel (both how you felt when he told you and how you're feeling now). Hopefully the two of you can get back together, now that he's back home and has realized the root of the problem, particularly with school and other activities to distract him from the experience; it definitely sounds to me that it's more a matter of his insecurities than anything to do with you, as golentan said. If he'd like someone to talk to about surviving being a gay Scout, my PM box is open, or I can send you my email if it'd be inconvenient for him to reach me via your account.

[Asta Kask]

Having spent a week-long stint every summer for several years at Boy Scout camp, a.k.a. "that place where insecure young men spend several weeks trying to prove they're More Masculine Than You and the three most popular merit badges are Swimming, Rifle Shooting, and Gay-Bashing," I can see why spending a month in that environment would make him very, very uncomfortable. I was never tempted to try conversion therapy, fortunately, but that's partly because I'd looked into it and determined it was scientifically and religiously bogus at an early age--if he's unfortunate enough to be in a troop with the sort of leaders who talk about "fixing the gays" and not letting [F-word]s into Scouting (as one of my leaders was before we basically mutinied, long story) and if he's only come to terms with himself lately, I can see why it might be a tempting prospect.

Boy Scouts may be different in Germany. In Sweden, there's no gay-bashing allowed. And it would surprise me if they learned rifle shooting.

[Irish Musician]

Not if your naked body is the root of everything that's wrong, as I believe it is with Absol.

Well, it isn't the answer, but if you start seeing yourself more and start getting used to who you are......or can get an idea of who you want to be, that will help loads.

So there's a bunch of kids that live a couple of doors down from me that have seen me walking past as both a guy and a girl, and I think are very confused. I still remember fondly the first time I walked past them as a guy after being female for a few weeks, and a loud "Oh. My. God!" was heard as they realised that I was the girl that they'd seen around recently.

Anyway, I was fairly sure that they'd pegged me as a guy who sometimes dressed as a girl, but I saw them again today. I'd made an effort for androgyny today, and I think if I saw myself in the street (you know what I mean) my first instinct would be female, but I wouldn't want to make the call. I saw them, and one of the girls asked curiously, "Are you a lady?"

My response? I smiled, and said "Maybe."

Best story of my day!

[Fragenstein]

...and one of the girls asked curiously, "Are you a lady?"

My response? I smiled, and said "Maybe." "What are you willing to do to find out?"

Oh... wait... that's just me. Never mind

[Lix Lorn]

I think if I saw myself in the street (you know what I mean) my first instinct would be female, but I wouldn't want to make the call.

At this point I just peg you as pretty.

Oh... wait... that's just me. Never mind

Sadly, someone else has dibs.
And if not you'd have to fight me for them.

[Asta Kask]

LIX! *hugs*

[Arachu]

Of course the fair Lady Bianca can join! The system we've been discussion is the new World of Darkness - Werewolf: the Forsaken. Are you familiar with it? No? Check back here at 2:00 Mountain Time, and there will be an awesome link that will make you familiar!

One of my college house-mates was particularly hirsuite. One Hallowween he was going to be Jayne (from Firefly), which meant growing a goatee or whatever it's called that Jayne has. Come October 25th or 26th, he's still clean shaven, but two days later and it's grown in full and glorious.

X3

Intriguing.... That's where I was at your age (all of twenty to thirty months ago, hahaha pretendin to be old is funny), and at 19 days till my birthday I shaved down to baby bottom smooth an let it all grow. By the time I shaved, the whole thing had thickened and spread, and now I have the hair pattern I wanted to five years ago and don't want it. XD

DXD *Hugs*

Spoiler

Show

I'm sorry, how rude of me. You were saying something? I was distracted by my new mantle piece.

Isn't it gorgeous~?

*Actually types "lol"*

Spoiler

Show

The new World of Darkness line is a reboot of the game system from White Wolf, the same system familiar to those who have heard of Vampire: the Masquerade and Werewolf: the Apocalypse.

In Werewolf: the Forsaken you are a werewolf, one of the Uratha/the People. In ancient times the spirit world and mortal world were almost one, an a great wolf spirit prowled the borders keeping everything in line. He had children with the moon, who were mortal, for she took on flesh. These children were trained to uphold his policing o the boundaries.

Eventually, Father wolf grew old, and they did what any pack must do; throw down their Alpha when he grows weak. Even though it was necessary, it was also kinslaying. Their descendants now maintain their old job in the modern world, balancing a sense of being more than human, and yet no longer as much as human. They also contain a primal, supernatural rage which is the source of their power but threatens to consume them. During this, the spirit world preys on mortals, and must be policed, and an ancient schism of wolves who revoked the slaying of their Father hunt the Forsaken Uratha to this day, out of revenge.

Like any World of Darkness game, it's a horror game made all the more brutal by the mechanics - world of darkness doesn't have combat mechanics. It has a murder simulator. Fighting happens but it is Nasty, Brutish and Short, and you want to avoid it or stack the deck as much as possible.

Oh, but you asked what you would need.






Hm.


• Either a copy of both the World of Darkness core rules and the Werewolf: the Forsaken campaign book, or someone who has them and can walk you through everything.
• A Story Teller to run a game.

That last one is our big sticking point, although maybe I'll get off me duff and give it a once-over?

Ooh~ I bet I can find 'em. n.n

I think we may need to find another venue for discussion soon though. This isn't even tangentially related to the thread topic anymore >_>

Well, it kind of vaguely is. The characters were gonna be LGBTA+, weren't they?

Wish I could remember my Skype or AIM passwords <_<

That explains a lot - does that link that gives you a new one show up on your phone? *Hugs*

Spoiler

Show

Anyone know of good ways to deal with stress without running away from the problem? :/ It's all I can do right now.. My second-most best friend Nathan found out the other day that his girlfriend (who is also my sister, I live with both of them but am at Elemental's place at the moment to relax, he's the bestest friend ) has been cheating on him for two months, and he's been up and down ever since he found out on Friday night last week.. One minute he's sobbing, next he's yelling angrily and smashing things. He knows I'm scared/stressed (to the point of being physically sick) even though he said he won't hurt me 'cause he loves me like a brother. But I just.. don't know anymore. They were fine one minute, the next minute he's breaking some of her stuff around the house while she was out 'at a friend's place' (but we now know the truth).

*So many hugs!*

I just read about someone giving examples for the need of feminism, one of which was unrealistic standards of beauty for women.

And from all the things I've learned about gender roles and models in the last decade of my adult life, I got the impression that this isn't really a case of sexism against women.
Any time a discussion gets to the point where men say "Well, I really wouldn't mind if you would be wearing more plain things and forget about makeup altogether", the reply that young women in their 20s and 30s give seems to be "This isn't about you, this is a women thing".
And really, where is all the beauty and fashion stuff at its highest and craziest levels? In magazines and tv showes aimed at women. And all the stupid movies that portray horrible examles of priorities for young women and relationships? No man would ever want to watch them.

Now, I am not a woman and I don't care for fashion, so I don't have an inside perspective on these things and only see things from the outside.
But what do the women say? Is the obsession with appearance really something that is forced on women by demanding men who refuse to give women a chance if they don't conform to the made up beauty standards? Or is it something that women are doing to each other and it doesn't have anything to do with sexism and inequality?

What Astrella and Absol said. Just because women are perpetuating it doesn't preclude it from being sexist.

Dresses and makeup are the female version of chest bumping. Yes, it has the added benefit of showing your qualities to potential mates, but primarily it's all about establishing dominance in the peer group.

Remember ladies, when you dress up to upstage other girls, this is what you are actually doing.

Spoiler

Show

... Though these points are surprisingly fair. @.@

So unfair!!!

I start showing after half a day. It takes four or five days for me to start calling it a beard.
Which doesn't help me at all at trying to get a highly androgynous look. Now after a year of wet shaving, I think my skin is ready to take a third pass against the grain.

*Hugs*

An example, is the nerd/jock dichotomy. I don't know about you, but in the thirty years I have direct access to (some from slightly older family members an friends) this has neer played out. No one cares who the quarterback was, no one could tell you who prom queen was going to be. Or even when prom was. But all the people writing shows about kids in high school kept drawing on their experiences anyway and it took on a life of it's own. it's an urban legend that everyone thinks their school is blessed not to really have, or that they'd like to bring back - I've seen no dearth of small cliques in letter jackets, hoping I make a statement by pulling on the myths of high school life.

It sort of did in my school. Sort of. Some of the sports players were pretty nice, others were really conceited. There were some people who fit the nerd stereotype to a tee hanging out with all of them, but ones they didn't like tended to get harassed sometimes.

So I saw a Yahoo news article on Lana Wackowski's transition. Nothing in depth, merely referring to an article in some magazine. And then I made a fatal mistake - I scrolled down to the comments section at the bottom. Now, Yahoo comments are pretty disgusting at the best of times but this is the first time I've read something that has actually made me feel physically nauseous. Bravo, Yahoo, you've sunk to a whole new level.

*Hugs*


~Bianca

[supernerd]

Boy Scouts may be different in Germany. In Sweden, there's no gay-bashing allowed. And it would surprise me if they learned rifle shooting.

Yeah, American Boy Scouts actually have a policy of no gays allowed(well as open leaders anyway). And guns are half the fun, the other is fire.

@Shiro: Honey, I know how you feel, and the best thing you can do is tell him how you are really feeling, and without preparation, just tell him about it. Trust me, with what you've said, it will mean a lot to him and show him how much you really do love him. If anything, "if you wanna be my lover, first you gotta be my friend"

[Asta Kask]

There's apparently a network for LGBTA scouts in Sweden, and they reacted strongly against the BSA:s decision to ban gay scout leader.

[Irish Musician]

There's apparently a network for LGBTA scouts in Sweden, and they reacted strongly against the BSA:s decision to ban gay scout leader.

Yeah, as an Eagle Scout in Amercia, I was pretty pissed about that decision as well. I wrote in and chewed them out I was so upset.

[PairO'Dice Lost]

Boy Scouts may be different in Germany. In Sweden, there's no gay-bashing allowed. And it would surprise me if they learned rifle shooting.

Yeah, American Boy Scouts actually have a policy of no gays allowed(well as open leaders anyway). And guns are half the fun, the other is fire.

Yep, supernerd has it right. The only time you're not shooting things or burning things in the BSA is when you're on the water (sailing, swimming, etc.) in which case you're attempting to drown anyone you can reach.

Yeah, as an Eagle Scout in Amercia, I was pretty pissed about that decision as well. I wrote in and chewed them out I was so upset.

You and me both. I didn't go so far as to renounce my Eagle status as some did, but I did send in a good 2-3 page rant.