Dragonprime's Dynamically Dangerous Dextrous and Destructive Random Banter #118

[Em Blackleaf]

I thought there were still more books to come? There is still time! Imagine it now...

It's the final chapter, and everything has gone normally so far. Finally, Edward pulls a dagger on Bella and stabs her in the chest. In her dying moments, he confesses to her that he is in fact a necrophilliac, and that the whole plot so far had been a ploy to get close to her with something sharp. She gives a final shudder at the thought of what will happen to her after she is dead, and the book ends.

Queue millions of horrified fans rampaging through the streets lighting everything on fire, and Stephenie Meyer cackling maniacally from atop her iron tower.

You, my friend, win one internet. That was a most pleasing mental image.

[Recaiden]

It truly was. Unfortunately for that plan, she stopped writing Twilight books. She was going to write at least one from Edward's perspective, but it got leaked to the internet an she stopped. That reminds me of the proposed alternate ending to Eragon:
When they're escaping after rescuing Arya, Saphira is shot by a ballista and killed. Eragon breaks both legs in the crash and crawls toward his destination before eventually dying of blood loss. Of course, now that 2 more books have been published...
Also, I was a passenger in a car accident coming home. We weren't hurt, but the guy who hit us was taken to the hospital.

[Phase]

Oh man! I hope that guy's okay, Recaiden.

Sigh. Time for the last week before spring break. Tests ahoy!

[Dallas-Dakota]

I feel your pain Phase. I also got tests coming up around 5 till 10 aprill I think and a lot of coursework I need to do to be allowed to do exams.

[Sneak]

I would just like to announce....

The Nietzsche Family Circus.

[Fredthefighter]

Hey everybody, how are you all today?
I'm pretty good myself, everything's looking up. My coursework is all handed in, I'm on the right track with my exams. Which are coming up in May and June.
So to sum all that up in very few words:
CALVIN DANCE!

[Cristo Meyers]

I would just like to announce....

The Nietzsche Family Circus.

"Not by wrath does one kill, but by laughter. "

Considering my present mood, this made me laugh hard

[banjo1985]

"Not by wrath does one kill, but by laughter. "

Considering my present mood, this made me laugh hard

That's one heck of a juxtaposition right there.

I think I've broke my ass...this is not good in a job which makes me sit down all day.

[Cristo Meyers]

That's one heck of a juxtaposition right there.

I think the only thing that would've been better would be the quote about the abyss staring back into you

I think I've broke my ass...this is not good in a job which makes me sit down all day.

I want to make a snarky comment, I really do...

...but damn if I can think of one that wouldn't land me in trouble...

[banjo1985]

*offers Cristo a warning on a plate*

I blame trains. Those seats have to have been designed by someone who's never actually seen a human being before...

It hurts so much it's barely even funny. I gotta go waddle home like a damn penguin with a stick up it's backside.

"Hey ladies..."

[Mordokai]

It hurts so much it's barely even funny. I gotta go waddle home like a damn penguin with a stick up it's backside.

Why, oh why do I get the feeling you're making fun out of me, hm?

[Fredthefighter]

*offers Cristo a warning on a plate*

I blame trains. Those seats have to have been designed by someone who's never actually seen a human being before...

It hurts so much it's barely even funny. I gotta go waddle home like a damn penguin with a stick up it's backside.

"Hey ladies..."

Ladies is the one word that makes almost every sentence you put it at the end of awkward.
Such as, "Who wants cake, ladies" Now you can either see that as someone asking some ladies if they want cake, or they are asking someone if they want cake-ladies. Awkward.

[Cristo Meyers]

*offers Cristo a warning on a plate*

*eats warning, then plate, then hands all the way to the elbow*

I blame trains. Those seats have to have been designed by someone who's never actually seen a human being before...

American trains are worse...

Remember those plastic and steel chairs they used to make you sit in in grade school? Imagine a train full of seats just like those...

Little wonder no one rides the train over here anymore, a two hour train ride is a one-way ticket to a bruised tailbone...

It hurts so much it's barely even funny. I gotta go waddle home like a damn penguin with a stick up it's backside.

"Hey ladies..."

...

...*snicker*

[Sneak]

Ladies is the one word that makes almost every sentence you put it at the end of awkward.
Such as, "Who wants cake, ladies" Now you can either see that as someone asking some ladies if they want cake, or they are asking someone if they want cake-ladies. Awkward.

Someone's a Demetri Martin fan, eh?

[Fredthefighter]

Someone's a Demetri Martin fan, eh?

Yes, yes I am.

Nobody should throw stones.... unless they're trapped inside a glass house and their only way out is a stone.

My pet cactus died three weeks after I bought it. That taught me something. I am less nurturing than a desert. Ladies, this isn't true.

This dictionary is american, which means it's probably fat.

[Destro_Yersul]

American trains are worse...

Remember those plastic and steel chairs they used to make you sit in in grade school? Imagine a train full of seats just like those...

Little wonder no one rides the train over here anymore, a two hour train ride is a one-way ticket to a bruised tailbone...

Not sure if it counts as a train, more like a sort of subway type deal, but up here we have trains with seats kinda like that. Some of the buses, too. It's really awesome when you get one of the new buses with the seats that have actual cushions to ride on.

Otherwise, I usually stand. I've gotten very good at keeping my balance as a result.

[Cristo Meyers]

Not sure if it counts as a train, more like a sort of subway type deal, but up here we have trains with seats kinda like that. Some of the buses, too. It's really awesome when you get one of the new buses with the seats that have actual cushions to ride on.

Otherwise, I usually stand. I've gotten very good at keeping my balance as a result.

Heh, at least you can actually take the train to get where you're going.

Here, the trains only run in two directions: into Chicago, and out of Chicago.

Granted, they're trains...you really only get two directions...

Buses are worse, if I were to try to take the bus to work it would probably take somewhere around 2 hours and require timing coordination not seen outside of military drill squares...

[CurlyKitGirl]

This dictionary is american, which means it's probably fat.

Nationalities start with a capitaaaaal . . .

Now with my sole piece of good news:

I'm getting my very own copy of The Divine Comedy tomorrow and I can't wait!
It's coming!
My ebullience over such things confuses non - internety and non - geeky people.
You understand me right?
Good.

My multitude of hates:
I hate my French Lecturer and my French oral topic. I can't do what I wanted - tch. I'm so going to work in as many internet relevant and geeky topics as possible. I want to say '4chan' in a relevant debate.
I hate E Lang Female Lecturer. She's away. AGAIN. Is it that hard for her to come for for two weeks in a row?!?!?!?!
YES!
Stupid set work.
I hate that I finished my book with hours to go until last and couldn't go on the internet or computers, thus boring myself into a coma.
I hate that the French classroom and the bus home was ridiculously toasty, making you want to go asleep when you know you shouldn't, so you end up just this side of napping.
I hate the fact that I didn't sleep last night, and am now really too drowsy to function, yet I still have one hour of tutoring, twenty minutes of comic, some homework and coursework to work on still.
I DETEST THAT LITTLE BROTHER, WHO SHOULD BE MY GRATEFUL TUTEE, JUST THREW ALL MY HOURS SPENT TEACHING HIM WHEN I COULD BE DOING JACK BY (IN THREE GODDAMNED DAYS) DOING ONE FRICKIN' PARAGRAPH FOR HIS GODDAMNED TWO HOUR, FIFTEEN MINUTE ENGLISH LITERATURE EXAM!!!!!
AND THEN HE HAS THE GALL TO BLAME ME!
THREE DAMN DAYS!
THREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The amount of exclamation marks are fully deserved as I have devoted well over twenty hours teaching him, plus writing to his math teacher for particular areas of weakness, plus planning, plus actually finding and picking out resources for all his frickin' lessons.
He should have done the exam Friday. He had the day off.
He didn't come to tutor Friday.
I gave him a second chance: Saturday to do the exam. He didn't come to tutor.
Sunday? A no show.
Five hours.
Five goddamn hours of tutoring he missed.
That's a hell of a lot when your first exam is in just over six weeks.
I've spent so much time on him. I even got a pack from his math teacher who's actually desparately concerned about him now.
The worst part?
He's so clever.
Not as clever as I am in my way; but as clever as I am in his way.
He can do things I can't so easily. But because I'm the eldest of the Curlykin they all see me as THE EXAMPLE of them all.
If he put any effort in at all.
I'm using college level stuff (yes, just very basic, but still) for ENglish and he takes it in his stride easy . . .
But.
But.
He. Is. Lazy. And I've refined procrastination.

*is depressed and hating*

[Kaelaroth]

*hugs Koorly* I get how it feels to have a clever brother who just won't try. I has one too. *hugs 'gain*

Well. In other news. I'm pleased, really. An essay I was terrified about? Got joint-best in the group. Which is good. I kicked Boldwood's ass. My Art? Still turgid, and lacking in inspiration, but now subversively wrapped up in pretty words to hide the lack of any real talent! And I'm doing well, otherwise.

[Fredthefighter]

*hugs Koorly* I get how it feels to have a clever brother who just won't try. I has one too. *hugs 'gain*

I have the same problem with my sister, she's intelligent and she knows it, but she's damn lazy. (She takes after my dad, who admits he is both lazy and stubborn.)
My sister's definition of help is "Do it for me". Of course, then dad gets involved and she reluctantly starts working.

[Sub_Zero]

I'm the youngest, so no problems here with younger siblings not doing as well as I think they should. I do none of my older siblings put as much effort as they could into their exams, but none of them did too badly and it's not my life so I'm not complaining. Then again...I don't exactly put much effort in, when I really really should be. Should I have sarted revising for my GCSE's yet?

[Cristo Meyers]

My sister's definition of help is "Do it for me".

I find that that is most people's definition of "help"

[Fredthefighter]

I find that that is most people's definition of "help"

Well, my experience with people has revealed my sister as the only person who has that definition of "help".

Should I have sarted revising for my GCSE's yet?

Most likely, a month or two ahead is a good start.

[Sub_Zero]

Most likely, a month or two ahead is a good start.

So I keep being told. Then again, one of those times was by the teacher who said that they did work for 4 hours every night after school from year 10 onwards, and I just think that's a little too sad really. I might start sometime soon then. It's one of those things I say I'll do but won't get round to properly

[Dragonrider]

I'm sorry Curly's in a bad mood. I'm in a good one. Granted, spring break is now over and that is depressing, but I've been surfing YouTube and found some songs that make me really excited/happy.

I'm taking American history instead of psychology this term, which is also excellent. I've already done 1/4 of the reading/viewing for the first lesson, which is all due April 10th. I've had this teacher before and I'd forgotten how awesome she is - she says on the course homepage "I'm not a 'names and dates' historian. I like the stories." YEAH for her!

[Cristo Meyers]

*is depressed and hating*

Would it help if I said I finally got some real progress done on the Fears novel yesterday afternoon?

[Fredthefighter]

So I keep being told. Then again, one of those times was by the teacher who said that they did work for 4 hours every night after school from year 10 onwards, and I just think that's a little too sad really. I might start sometime soon then. It's one of those things I say I'll do but won't get round to properly

Yeah, that's sort of like me. I have a french oral exam on wednesday and I haven't really revised. However, to get an A, I only need 27/40. Which won't be too hard considering I got 28/40 on the mock oral exam without revising. I don't tend to get worried about exams.

@DeeRee: Woah, your American History teachers sounds awesome. We just have a run-of-the-mill history teacher (who supports Aston Villa)

[Dallas-Dakota]

Curly, I'm sorry, I'm also sorry that I've been late with the ship I promised you. Stupid schoolprojects! Stupid muse!

I have the same problem with my sister, she's intelligent and she knows it, but she's damn lazy. (She takes after my dad, who admits he is both lazy and stubborn.)
My sister's definition of help is "Do it for me". Of course, then dad gets involved and she reluctantly starts working.

Fred, I am your father.

[Kaelaroth]

How can America have enough history to fill enough lessons? 'tis only a bebbeh country. Unless we're talking about America the continent. Or pre-Independence?

[Cristo Meyers]

How can America have enough history to fill enough lessons? 'tis only a bebbeh country. Unless we're talking about America the continent. Or pre-Independence?

Most courses go as far back as Columbus or focus pretty in-depth on a particular period.