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Thread: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
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2009-08-26, 01:16 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Mar 2009
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
Jumping off a bridge and some such saying. IF you're looking for a banner, you'd likely be better off in the Arts and Crafts section of the forum. As for the Kyrie fanclub... there really isn't one. It's just a matter of putting in your signature that you're a member. Only the Guy With a Halberd gets a fanclub thread.
Does it like, triple the time it takes you to write too? Cause my VxMiko story could have been 5 minutes, tops, but the research pushed it to ~25 minutes.It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.
If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).
The best answer is always to ask your DM.
Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.
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2009-08-26, 01:29 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2009
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- Among the spiders
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Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
It adds days to writing sometimes. I'm just that obsessive.
Spoiler
The April Squickies Award for Best Crack Pairing Story
Thank you so much to Kaytara for the avatar! It's of Redcloak's and Vaarsuvius's love child.
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2009-08-26, 02:15 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2007
- Location
- Maine, may it do ya fine!
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
I've noticed a major problem... None of these are even remotely disturbing anymore. Sure, the fan fics about V and Zz'ditri or V and Redcloak are good, but they're not really 'rinse your brain in acid to make it go away'-ish. What happened to those?
Will I have to do another to get that ball rolling?
I still feel guilty about SpongebobxScoundrel...
SpoilerFounder of the Oracle fanclub. To join put this into your sig and give yourself a title.
Court sorcerer of House Kato.
Tuna-preparer of the Mr. Scruffy fanclub
78% of DM's started their first campaign in a tavern. I didn't.
Magioth made my avatar!
The SECOND member of the fanclub!!!
Sequinox
And the Dark Lord on his Dark Throneitp, where the shadows lie.
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2009-08-26, 03:02 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
Why does everybody assume this thread is JUST for brain melting pairings.
Crack doesn't automatically imply disturbing, crack pairings are pairings that wouldn't make sense normally. I guess you could say you'd only normally come up with them on crack (not condoned). Sure, some of them could be disturbing, but say, JuliaxElan would be crack, and not necessarily disturbing (although it could easily become so, but anything can).It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.
If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).
The best answer is always to ask your DM.
Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.
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2009-08-26, 03:09 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2008
- Location
- Germany
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
The part where the idea of Redcloak and Vaarsuvius seriously getting it on actually doesn't disturb you IS the disturbing thing.
We don't have to go for the cheap kind of disturbing. XD To me, "disturbing because the author actually makes it so perfectly plausible" is a much better kind of disturbing.
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2009-08-26, 03:10 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2008
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
Because I don't write so much anymore.
Give me a while, and I'll see what I can do for you.Nadir We,
Youth Born,
Blood Letters,
Axe Weilders,
Victors Still.
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2009-08-26, 03:30 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2006
- Location
- England
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
VxRC is disturbing. Admittedly, it is in a cute way that leaves me desparate to read more rather than reaching for the bleach, but it's still rather twisted and could turn out to be acid-soaking worthy.
The really cracky ones just make me laugh.
Also, can anyone help out someone who knows nothing about DnD and suggest an appropriate random encounter for the OOTS?
EDIT: I just realised who Water-Smurf is. A BIG thumbs up for those VxBelkar fics.Last edited by Zanaril; 2009-08-26 at 03:37 PM.
This post may contain sarcasm.
DeviantArt
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2009-08-26, 03:48 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
Last edited by The Dark Fiddler; 2009-08-26 at 03:52 PM.
It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.
If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).
The best answer is always to ask your DM.
Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.
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2009-08-26, 03:59 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2006
- Location
- England
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
Cheers!
Is there any basic info I should know about Orcs?This post may contain sarcasm.
DeviantArt
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2009-08-26, 04:41 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2008
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
They are big, they have tusks, they are dim, they have more muscles then a herd of oxen, they worship Gruumash, they are more generic then Durkon, they are always chaotic evil, "they talk like dis." And they love war.
Last edited by Cracklord; 2009-08-26 at 04:42 PM.
Nadir We,
Youth Born,
Blood Letters,
Axe Weilders,
Victors Still.
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2009-08-26, 04:44 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jun 2009
- Location
- Minnesota, ya?
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
I'm pretty sure Goblins are mammals, we've seen some with hair. Also in SOD a Goblin character mocks some Lizardfolk for "[having to] bask in the sun for four hours a day to get [their] brains working."
...And that is how I met your father.
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2009-08-26, 06:05 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2007
- Location
- Maine, may it do ya fine!
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
SpoilerFounder of the Oracle fanclub. To join put this into your sig and give yourself a title.
Court sorcerer of House Kato.
Tuna-preparer of the Mr. Scruffy fanclub
78% of DM's started their first campaign in a tavern. I didn't.
Magioth made my avatar!
The SECOND member of the fanclub!!!
Sequinox
And the Dark Lord on his Dark Throneitp, where the shadows lie.
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2009-08-26, 06:29 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.
If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).
The best answer is always to ask your DM.
Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.
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2009-08-26, 09:34 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2009
- Location
- Texas
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
All I ask is for a banner of V-Dragon-FormxHarry Potter
Dolla dolla bill, y'allLeague of Legends S3 Ranked Challenge: 6/100 wins, Silver IV
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2009-08-26, 10:40 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2009
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
Finally :
Chapter 5 : Thog's Adventure
Spoiler
Thog, having killed his best friend and saw the death of the only love he ever had in his whole life, was thinking of putting a end to all his misery. But, he decide to find the Order of the Stick and ask Durkon Thundershield, priest of Thor, to ressurect Nale and Sabine. Even him knew that it certainly wouldn't work, but it was the only thing for him to do now. So, he ''bought'' a chariot and went on a long trip to find the Order of the Stick. After a long year of tracking them, he finally found them in the middle of a road in the forest.
: Thog want little guy ability to bring back Nale and demon girl.
: Thog, what do you want.
: Thog already said what Thog want.
: You want Durkon to ressurect Nale and Sabine?
: Yes!
: We won't do that!
Come on, Roy, Thog's not evil he's just dumb.
: I will feel as dumb as Thog, but do it, Durkon.
Two ressurection spells extra evil coming, lad.
Durkon then proceeded to ressurect Nale and Sabine.
: It's good to be back.
: True, sweetheart.
Sabine and Nale then shared a passionate kiss, Thog heart's being crush like a kobold by his axe.
: Thog tought, demon girl, loved him.
: Sorry Thog, Nale's the only one I will ever love.
Nale and Sabine then went away flying. Thog crying for the second time in his life.
: Thog, forget Sabine she wasn't the good girl for you, just like Samantha was mine.
Elan, just shut up or your good ending won't happen.
: Sorry, Samantha and Haley are just two similar names.
: If you didn't have like 20 of charisma I would just dumb you here.
: Stop screaming at each other or Thog will be angry, not-nale and redhead girl are happy together, Thog was just dumbed.
: Ok, so goodbye, Thog.
: No, I want to come with you!
: What?
: Thog is like not-nale and his team, Thog want Nale dead.
: Ok, then come with us, but we will keep an eye on you.
So will Thog finally be able to reunite with is true love?
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2009-08-27, 05:10 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2008
- Location
- Germany.
- Gender
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2009-08-27, 10:28 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2009
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2009-08-27, 12:10 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2009
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
As CheeseMuncher mentioned, (female) goblins do have hair.
Let's say what the SRD says about goblins...
A goblin stands 3 to 3½ feet tall and weigh 40 to 45 pounds. Its eyes are usually dull and glazed, varying in color from red to yellow. A goblin’s skin color ranges from yellow through any shade of orange to a deep red; usually all members of a single tribe are about the same color. Goblins wear clothing of dark leather, tending toward drab, soiled-looking colors.Formerly known as Discord here and Maladin on avatarspirit.net.
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2009-08-27, 12:43 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2008
- Location
- Germany
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
If they were lizardy and reptilic, they probably wouldn't have ears, too.
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2009-08-27, 08:22 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2009
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
Basically , the most parts of the goblins is green , like the Green Goblins of Spider-man for example . Who here doesn't think a goblin are green ?
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2009-08-27, 08:57 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2009
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
Here's the last, final, ultimate, ultra, uber chapter.
Final Chapter : The Final Chapter
Spoiler
After tracking Nale and Sabine they followed them to a dark cave.
: Thog will go alone!
: We'll come with you.
: No, you don't come.
: Ok then.
Thog entered the dark cave until he found the light made by the torches hanged on the wall by Nale and Sabine, there they were, kissing each other.
: Thog challenges Nale in a duel for demon girl.
: No, Thog he will beat you!
: Thog as nothing to do on the heart, without you.
: I accept with pleasure.
Nale and Thog began to fight, Nale evade every single of Thog hit and gave pretty strong strike to Thog, Thog was losing the fight, until in a moment of total rage he took nale and tear him in two pieces.
: That's what you get for hitting Thog.
: Thog I don't love you!
: Ok, then Thog be on Thog way, but Thog now have fulfilled Thog revenge.
: Wait, Thog!
: What, demon girl?
: Thog I lied, I always loved you, but couldn't admit it.
Thog and Sabine then shared the most passionate kiss you ever seen and it became rapidly sometime just not PG-13 enough for this thread.
Hope you enjoyed this fast chapterLast edited by PsychoPat; 2009-08-27 at 09:00 PM.
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2009-08-27, 09:02 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2009
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2009-08-28, 11:15 AM (ISO 8601)
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- May 2009
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2009-08-28, 11:35 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2006
- Location
- England
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
I always thought they were green under all the dirt.
This post may contain sarcasm.
DeviantArt
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2009-08-29, 01:46 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jan 2007
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- On a spaceboat.
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Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
Goblin's are mammals, I believe. I've seen pictures from rulebooks that show them with hair and such, not to mention bugbears, which are incredibly hairy goblinoids.
A handful of true friends, an infinite supply of sodas, a collection of bad movies, and a full supply of webcomics are all one really needs to be happy.
Awesome avatar by Keris Rain!
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2009-08-29, 07:01 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2009
- Location
- you might be an assassin!
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
for the sake of putting the total squick back in this thread, i am going to roll
up some new pairings, and i'll be quick about it.
two 6's, two "other" people. a 3 and a 1. a T.V. character and a movie character. lets see... 4=Stitch, 2=Predator. with a police uniform. way too squicky. plus i dont know who predator is. someone take that one. rerolling.
2 and 4. Pahetic and Heavyweight Tables. Mr.Rodrigez and Thors Might Durkon. with a love potion!?!? someone better write this! to squicky for me. i am gonna keep rolling till i find one that doesnt have to be too squicky. this may take a while.
2 and 3. i have hopes for this. Horace Greenhilt and the Shadowdander. my hopes have fallen a little. maybe the Random Event Table can help. in an american high school. no help there. by the way, i have an idea for a replacement for a random event. it shall be called "stuck in room with the Random Event Table" since most people can hit writers block, and its a really great idea for ideas that dont make any sense at all. i'll add it in place of love potion. reroll.
ok pathetic and initial table.(20,19,19,16,5) that roll resulted in genderswitched oracle and bozzak, and now i rolled the Shadowdancer. with something not PG enough to mention. i can maybe make this work. i'll roll once more. if i fail, i'll use that last one.
a couple of heavyweights. oh no. OH NO! i rolled 19 on heavyweight table! i must roll on every table! EVERY TABLE! i have to follow this roll through. ima scared. MikoxArgentxJulia GreenhiltxXykons Zombie Dragon HeadxRoy'sArchonxGenderswitched Orc CheiftanxPrince AnsomxJack SparrowxPredatorxTerminatorxBoratxThe JokerxDarth VaderxThe EmperorxOptimus PrimexE.T.xJason Vorhee'sxKing KongxJake and Elwood BluesxNeoxJames BondxIndianna JonesxMichael CorleonexHannibal LecterxEdward CullenxAlton BrownxMargaret Thatcher. Wow thats a lot of people. its that dies fault for rolling 20's. one more person must be added. crap another 19 on the heavyweight table. CRAP! ok i will do this. but i wont be happy. InkyriusxSarah GreenhiltxThat guy with halberdxEye of Fear and FlamexThors Might DurkonxMaggiexE.T.'s BrotherxDread Cthulhu(a fav of mine)xGibbs(NCIS)xParis Hilton. In the afterlife. Wow. that is an orgy for the ages. i am not powerful enough to write this. in fact, i think there are only 3 people on this thread powerful enough to write this. Zanaril, Minion992929, and Water-Smurf. they all have their respective way of doing things, Zanaril goes write for the Romance, while Minion goes for the Squicky parts. and the newly discovered Water-Smurf builds all the suspense. chapter three and we are still waiting for something to happen between redcloak and Vaarsuvius. anyway, if they combined their mighty crack story powers, they could make this pairing the greatest story ever told ever. now i'll get started on that GS Oracle and bozzak, with shadowdancer story. zanaril, minion, watersmurf, pick up those laptops and get writing! i want all three of you writing this story. PM each other finished versions and merge styles. this may be the greatest peice of crap written, but only if written right. Ready... Set... GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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2009-08-29, 10:29 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2006
- Location
- England
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
*reels at wall of text*
MagicianMan5... I don't like to be a grammer nazi, but can I reccomend you try 1) putting capital letters at the beginning of sentences and 2) adding more line breaks.
It might just be because the computer I'm using displays the forum text riddiculously large, but that was rather overwhelming.
Also, I can do squicky! It's only my ZxV one that fails in that regard!
I do, however, agree that Minion is the best candidate for writing fics with far too many characters. And making it work.This post may contain sarcasm.
DeviantArt
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2009-08-29, 10:49 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2009
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- you might be an assassin!
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Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
Yes but all three of you could make an uber-story, combining all of your talents in one post. And sorry about the grammar. Writing is a cross class skill for me. reading is what i have 15 levels in. i really want all of you to write this story together. that would be a story of epic-level propotions.
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2009-08-29, 10:56 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2006
- Location
- England
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
The probelm is, we've all (well except for Minion I think) got our own stories on-going at the moment. Supposing we did write that story; you'd then have to wait even longer for more VxRC, or ZxV. And none of us want that.
Not to mention someone actually writing that fic you rolled up would scare away all future new readers. It's just that wrong.Last edited by Zanaril; 2009-08-29 at 11:45 AM.
This post may contain sarcasm.
DeviantArt
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2009-08-29, 02:16 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
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Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
*reels at mountains of text*
...This is the part where I stop trying to struggle through schedule difficulties and just lurk.
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