Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

[The Dark Fiddler]

Uh... wow, guys. The rest of the forum's slowing down for the holidays, and I think we got about 5 or 6 pages yesterday.

Two more while I was asleep!

[Zanaril]

So, read all the enteries yet?

How do you like the meta fanfic orgy round-robin?

Why.

Because I don't want Closak anywhere near V.

No-one deserves that. Not even the designated chew toy/black dress.

[Closak]

Hmmm...How many eggs has the ABD laid anyway?

*Starts counting*



...Oh holy...847 eggs!

But how many of them are mine, or V's, or someone elses.


It's like Kazumi said, it doesn't matter how many people you kill if you just keep making more

Something wicked this way comes

[Zanaril]

...Oh holy...847 eggs!

You do realise that when they hatch, the strongest ones will eat the rest? You're only looking at two or three surviving.

[Closak]

I wonder what would happen if we placed each of the eggs away from each other and put a bunch of unarmed first level commoners next to them instead.


Let's do it.

FOR SCIENCE!

[Zanaril]

I wonder what would happen if we placed each of the eggs away from each other and put a bunch of unarmed first level commoners next to them instead.

If everyone did that we'd be knee-deep in weak, killable dragon hatchlings. And my black dragonhide boots wouldn't have been so pricey.

However, if you're willing to... donate some of the eggs, I'm sure I could give you a good price find a home for the little darlings and offer you a reasonable compensation.

[Closak]

Hmm.

Maybe i should tape it and sell the video to Xykon.


I'm sure he would enjoy watching a bunch of commoners being eaten alive by dragons.



Also, SCIENCE!

[CoffeeIncluded]

Thanks guys.

I'm still really upset and I still hate myself, but I won't act on it. I promise.

...Actually, what I'm gonna do is go and boot up my old copy of Pokemon Crystal (Which still works!) Heart Gold/Soul Silver is coming out soon and I always wanted to do a Teddiursa solo run. (I've already done a Rattata solo run, a Poochyena solo run, and a Piplup solo run).

[Meg]

Thanks guys.

I'm still really upset and I still hate myself, but I won't act on it. I promise.

...Actually, what I'm gonna do is go and boot up my old copy of Pokemon Crystal (Which still works!) Heart Gold/Soul Silver is coming out soon and I always wanted to do a Teddiursa solo run. (I've already done a Rattata solo run, a Poochyena solo run, and a Piplup solo run).

No way. I was just playing Pokemon Crystal. Like, just now.

[CoffeeIncluded]

No way. I was just playing Pokemon Crystal. Like, just now.

And I named the Cyndaquil Haley.

[Zanaril]

*there is a sharp cracking sound from the batch of eggs Zanaril stole from Closak while he was offline*



What is this I don't...

Spoiler

Show

"No, STOP!" Inkyrius screamed. The dragon raised her head, her attention no longer on the children for a moment as she regarded the elf with dark curiosity. "Please, don't hurt them! Anything but that!" Kyrie pleaded, frantically searching the dragon's red eyes for mercy and finding none. "Please, let them live! Take me instead!"
"How touching," the dragon grunted with amusement. "But you make an interesting proposition, and perhaps I may be persuaded to disregard my revenge, for a certain price..."
"What is it you ask? I will do anything!"
"Oh, I am sure you will. I doubt your dear purple-haired spouse would approve, but that makes my revenge all the sweeter..."
Thus saying, the dragon leaned close and whispered, "Acid Immunity."

Oh.

[CoffeeIncluded]

................Oh dear God.

[Zanaril]

................Oh dear God.

I vote we don't tell him. He's already got enough to deal with, what with being a single Parent...

[CoffeeIncluded]

...You think his christmas present should be some form of birth control?

[Zanaril]

...You think his christmas present should be some form of birth control?

Yes. An epic magical restraining order against the rest of the world.

[Closak]

Oh wait, i forgot my notes.


The notes say.

"To Closak from your master.

Your new mission is to bring the apocalypse to this world, how is up to you."

And

"I have made my decision, i am going to bring forth the apocalypse through draconic overpopulation. Crash and burn world! Crash and burn!"


...Maybe i shouldn't have left those lying out in the open where anyone can see and read them


...This is not going to end well for me is it?

[CoffeeIncluded]

Did I mention that one of the most common veterinary surgeries is spay/neuter?

[Zanaril]

I think we know what Closak's christmas present is going to be.

*gets out dragon catching equipment*

Oh Cloooosak! Where aaaare you?

[The Odor]

Did I mention that one of the most common veterinary surgeries is spay/neuter?

There's the Coffee we all know and love. Making jokes at Closak's expense.

I think we know what Closak's christmas present is going to be.

*gets out dragon catching equipment*

Oh Cloooosak! Where aaaare you?

This will be fun.

[Closak]

EEK! *Flies away while planeshifting and teleporting randomly*


I KNEW TAKING THIS JOB WAS A BAD IDEA!!!

[The Odor]

Oh wait, i forgot my notes.


The notes say.

"To Closak from your master.

Your new mission is to bring the apocalypse to this world, how is up to you."

And

"I have made my decision, i am going to bring forth the apocalypse through draconic overpopulation. Crash and burn world! Crash and burn!"


...Maybe i shouldn't have left those lying out in the open where anyone can see and read them


...This is not going to end well for me is it?

NOOOO CLOSAK!!!!! Destroy it with to much V crack fic. Not dragons... If they can't write crack fic...

[CoffeeIncluded]

And I FINALLY caught a Teddiursa in crystal! (5% encounter rate+A nasty tendency to flee=A BITCH to catch). I'm doing a Teddiursa-only run.

I named him Elan.

My female Cyndaquil starter is named Haley.

There are six slots in your active party in pokemon.

Three guesses where I'm going with this, and the first two don't count.

[Zanaril]

The only question is which order you'll name them in...

[The Odor]

And I FINALLY caught a Teddiursa in crystal! (5% encounter rate+A nasty tendency to flee=A BITCH to catch). I'm doing a Teddiursa-only run.

I named him Elan.

My female Cyndaquil starter is named Haley.

There are six slots in your active party in pokemon.

Three guesses where I'm going with this, and the first two don't count.

Team evil?
Yes Iam an idiot

[CoffeeIncluded]

The only question is which order you'll name them in...

You get a free Dratini in Crystal.

Should I name it Vaarsuvius, just to be cruel?

Then again, Dratinis can't breed with that many pokemon...

[The Odor]

You get a free Dratini in Crystal.

Should I name it Vaarsuvius, just to be cruel?

Then again, Dratinis can't breed with that many pokemon...

Roy? He should be cheap. He haven't gotten a singel story in ages. And he got this Good girls only thing so he can't do so many.

[CoffeeIncluded]

Roy? He should be cheap. He haven't gotten a singel story in ages. And he got this Good girls only thing so he can't do so many.

Eh, you'd be surprised what a Love Potion and some abysmal Will saving throws can do.

EDIT: Oh the irony; Elan just got poisoned with the first Poison Sting of the game.

...And my brother's fighting again.

[The Odor]

...And my brother's fighting again.

About what? I think were the only ones that haven't gone of to spend time with the family.

[CoffeeIncluded]

I dunno. Just the yelling and screaming and cursing as usual.

[The Odor]

I dunno. Just the yelling and screaming and cursing as usual.

Ah. Normal younger sibling behaivor.