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2011-04-03, 07:50 PM (ISO 8601)
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- May 2005
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- BROOKLYN!!
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Re: My Little Pony IV: Friendship is Sufficiently Advanced Technology
Now half my family is from SC originally. I can do the accent well if I'm feeling it or angry. Ifin my Peepaw was still alive, I'd just ask him to say stuff and attempt to write it as I hear it. But for some reason I can write accent when I say them.
As I am from NYC, I can do a lot of accents.
I use "Holler" sometimes and am born raised Brooklyn.Gitp's No. 1 Cake hater
On Vacation until Aug 7th.
Spell currently researching: Explosive Pie.
Weapon currently crafting: +1 cakebane kris
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2011-04-03, 07:51 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Apr 2009
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2011-04-03, 08:00 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Apr 2007
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- London
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Re: My Little Pony IV: Friendship is Sufficiently Advanced Technology
Bint means daughter/girl in Arabic, and in certain grammatical constructions means daughter of ....
Have never heard it used in English though so I can not vouch for it's appropriateness. As for the story itself, it made me smile. I think Hoity is still sufficiently in character his disregard for status does fit in with the "respected artist" archetype. Gilda, Trixie, Derpy and Luna; is that a reference to that comic strip of them sitting in Celestia's basement plotting her downfall?
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2011-04-03, 08:06 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Apr 2008
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2011-04-03, 08:07 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Feb 2007
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- Av by Smuchmuch
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Re: My Little Pony IV: Friendship is Sufficiently Advanced Technology
What is this I don't even.
But I sort of liked it in the end, though Luna was a bit... dickish. But adorable :P
Was it, by any chance, Pony trojan mentioned on ED?
So like Twilight's hook obsession
I keep thinking "that zebra must be a wizard!" because of the lightning bolt on his flank.
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2011-04-03, 08:18 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Feb 2011
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Re: My Little Pony IV: Friendship is Sufficiently Advanced Technology
My anime review podcast is coming back after a one year hiatus! www.fivepointpodcast.com
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2011-04-03, 08:19 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Nov 2004
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- Belfast, NI
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Re: My Little Pony IV: Friendship is Sufficiently Advanced Technology
No, not really. They'd still be pies.
If one is going to create a scene of violence and conflict, one shouldn't fill it with unnecessary slapstick for the benefit of network censors and watching parents. Better to completely evade it in the first place.
I have no objection to pie fights, but I feel that they have their place and they should stick to it.
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2011-04-03, 08:20 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jan 2005
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- WeeSconSin
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Re: My Little Pony IV: Friendship is Sufficiently Advanced Technology
Yamino (creator of Sister Claire) has made some more pony deviations. Linked for slight language!
Tolerate!
This one is safe. Random, cute, safe!
Spoiler
This was an April Fool's Day joke, apparently. Her comic done up "MLP Style!"
Spoiler
Interesting Note: Yamino's art style was originally inspired by Power Puff Girls, so it's not much of a stretch.
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2011-04-03, 08:40 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jan 2011
- Location
- Somewhere south of Hell
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Re: My Little Pony IV: Friendship is Sufficiently Advanced Technology
Lightning bolt spell ball.
It would make (ever so slightly) more sense if you'd connected my "Damn LARPing" reference; wizards hold what may as well be yellow penalty flags (guessing from the CM) charge them with an incantation and throw them- as lightning bolts.
But really, I'm just there to overly dramatically role-play a Viking skald. Nothin says inter party conflict like calling the team caster a sissy for using 'woman's magic'. Har.
crudeliter-braccaeLast edited by SiuiS; 2011-04-03 at 08:49 PM.
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2011-04-03, 08:52 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Apr 2009
Re: My Little Pony IV: Friendship is Sufficiently Advanced Technology
Thanks! And yes, it is a reference to that comic. By Celestia's beard!
I remember one british guy using "bint" as an insult, but the idea to use more creative pejoratives is more appealing. I need to come up with a few more... obvious enough to be instantly recognisable, but cultured enough to be almost silly.
Thanks, glad you enjoyed
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2011-04-03, 09:54 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jan 2011
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- Somewhere south of Hell
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Re: My Little Pony IV: Friendship is Sufficiently Advanced Technology
Enjoyed, Hel!
Dickish Luna is the best Luna. We need more Dickish Luna. We need more kicks to the face!
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2011-04-03, 10:09 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2008
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- Imladris
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Re: My Little Pony IV: Friendship is Sufficiently Advanced Technology
So I... uh... I wrote a thing. Because I had to. It's probably honestly not the best thing ever. It rambles when it needs to be short, and is terse where it needs to be long. But it's a pony fic.
I know you don't usually associate me with romance, but I think the chemistry between the two leads here is great. So, without further ado, the proof that I have become the kind of person who writes pony fanfiction:
SpoilerBright New Days
Twilight Sparkle woke up.
Twilight Sparkle woke up.
She woke up.
She got up. Yawned.
Went down and started her morning routine.
Dental hygiene. Poke Spike. Read for a bit.
Start the day off with her usual - sweet tea - and biscuits.
It looked like a beautiful day outside.
Start the day off with her usual - coffee - and biscuits.
Sun shining. Celestia had certainly done her duty this morning.
The milk tasted fantastic. She'd have to send her compliments to the Cudderly sisters. Cudderly milk - fresh from the udder!
Bright new day. Beautiful, brand-new bright new day.
Walk outside. Cloudy. Looked like the weather factory was brewing up a storm - better be careful.
Where was she going, again? To the detention facility where the apple-farmer was being held under suspicion of smuggling sensitive supplies via apple deliveries?
No. That's silly. No.
She was going to go to the cafe. She secretly hoped that she would see Applejack there - she'd been kind of shy around Twilight lately, and she wanted to really know what was up. Maybe... there was more under the dirt and sweat than just more dirt and sweat.
Oh, it's Pinkie Pie. Hello, Pinkie Pie. Bouncing about merrily, big toothy grin.
"Hey, Twilight! Do you want some cupcakes?" Lean forward, ignoring all conceptions of personal space.
"Cupcakes? Sure! I haven't eaten today, so I'm kind of hungry... what flavor are these?"
"They're made from 100% Rainbow Dash! Wheeeheeeheee!"
Twilight steps back, trying to figure out what's going on in that crazy pink head. "...What?"
"Just kiiiiiding! Custard!" Splat. Custard dripping down a purple flank, madly giggling pony hopping away. Twilight tries to lick some off, but gives up. Urgh. That Pinkie Pie. So random.
She hoped Her Imperial Benevolence wouldn't mind the lateness of the latest report. It was sometimes slow, she'd argued in the last letter, and she would alltogether rather avoid having to intentionally stir up trouble just so she could relate her latest findings on the superweapon known as Friendship.
Besides. Fluttershy had been making eyes at her, she was sure, and Applebloom wanted some help. It was about the Cute Mark Crusaders, and their upcoming trip to Mount Evercrest, to see if they were, in fact, mountain-climbing-horses.
Besides. Rarity had been distracted lately, she was sure, and Sweetie Belle wanted some help. It was about the Cutie Mark Crusaders, and their upcoming trip to Camterlot, to speak with the lovely Princess Luna.
But she'd have to deny them. After all, the former Nightmare Moon was currently awaiting Her Grace's pleasure in the cold iron holding cells.
No.
Something's...
Oh. It's Derpy. Hello, Derpy.
That's not her name, Twilight says.
Hello, Derpy. How are you today?
Muffins!
I'm showing my daughter around the mail routes!
...A shake of the head, a slow sad smile.
That wasn't the answer, Ditzy Doo.
That wasn't the question either.
How are you today, Twilight?
Not good.
Hurting somewhere.
But that's all right. Zecora could probably brew up some kind of magic potion to help with the ache. Maybe she could gather up her friends and go off on an epic quest to find the exotic ingredients! Yeah! Rarity could find the magic flowers, along with Fluttershy (who'd have to overcome her fear of palm trees) and Applejack and Rainbow Dash could catch the racing-weasel who needs to give up his tail and then-
No.
Something's...
Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy, both of them blushing, Rainbow Dash nuzzling at Fluttershy's mane.
You can't do that, Rainbow Dash!
(What will Rarity think? Fluttershy and she were...)
But what about your upcoming career in the Wonderbolts, Rainbow Dash? Do you want to leave Fluttershy a widow, if some griffin were to catch you while you were attempting a bombing run?
No.
That's not right.
(Rainbow Dash loves Pinkie-)
No.
Maybe she was just trying to get a tick out of Fluttershy's mane. With her lips. And tongue.
And now she is.
"Hey, Twilight. You don't look so good."
"Leave me alone!"
"B-but, Twilight, we- we just-"
"No! Go away! Stop being whoever you are! Leave me alone!"
She turns, and runs. It takes her ten minutes to get back to the treehouse.
It should only have taken five.
It should have taken fifteen.
Shut the door behind you, Twilight.
Lock it, throw away the key.
Bar the door.
Lock it, keep the key on your desk.
You have a desk, Twilight?
Of course you do.
Sometimes.
You can see it out of the corner of your eye.
Just don't turn around.
Don't blink.
You blinked, didn't you, Twilight?
It's gone now.
There's a dining table there.
Don't you want to eat dinner, Twilight Sparkle?
It would be a nice lunch, with Spike as the main course.
Oh, and you could have Rarity over, and discuss the Evertree Forest problem.
That would be a nice relaxing evening, wouldn't it?
It's Everfree, by and by.
That's important to remember.
If you don't, it'll never have been.
If you don't, it will always have been.
Buzzing at the door. Buzzing buzzing like little bees.
Remember when they stung you, Twilight?
When you were spying on Pinkie Pie?
(She's probably working for Her Majesty's Enforcers.)
(That's the only way her Pinkie Sense makes sense.)
[That was a joke.]
Buzz.
Door opens.
Didn't you latch it, Twilight Sparkle?
But you don't turn around to check.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
"Can you do anything about...?" Applejack.
"Is she going to be all right? Will her corpse be no good?" Pinkie.
"I need you lovely, lovely ladies to leave." Voice. Familiar. Not important.
Look up at him, Twilight Sparkle.
He might not be a lady-pony.
He might not be one of the gang.
But he's here right now and he's looking at you all sad-eyed.
"I'm sorry. Of course you'd be the one to notice."
"What is it? What? Tell me!"
"It's complicated..."
"I had three different breakfasts! At the same time!"
Tears rolling down a purple cheek.
Can't explain that.
Didn't you learn that you're supposed to accept these things?
These unexplainable things?
"How many ponies do you think there are in Equestria? Just Equestria, right now."
"Thousands. Tens of thousands. Easy."
"How many choices do you think they make every second? Deciding to do something, not to do something, brains humming away at a subconscious level?
"I'll answer that for you. It's okay. Take a deep breath.
"Millions.
"And all of them happen. They have to. Otherwise, what's the point?"
"But that's... I've never... am I living through them all... am I?"
"Imagine it's a tapestry. It's nothing like a tapestry, but imagine. You're a thread. Woven through a bunch of other threads. And to exist independently of all the other threads, someone needs to look at you. Otherwise you're just... a bunch of possibilities and could-have-beens and potential.
"Now, this is where everything breaks down. Because a thread can't simultaneously be coming loose and becoming one with all the other threads at the same time.
"This shouldn't happen.
"This shouldn't ever happen.
"My people... Gallopfrey... we stopped things like this from happening.
"I can't... I can't stop this. Back when we were shining... maybe. But the observers have looked away.
"No. They've chosen not to allow the Thread-Singularity Omega Principle act. Everything should come down to one point that creates an entirely new set of choices, and all the others - nothing. Potentia again.
"It's not.
"And you're the bearer of the Element of Friendship. Smartest pony alive. Student of Celestia herself, whoever she happens to be at this moment.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. You had to notice. You're clever. You notice these things, can't just let the inconsistencies go.
"Everyone else does, you know. Maybe the pink one doesn't. But the rainbow one - she can be bullying Flutterfeather-"
"Shy."
"Whoever... one moment... and then kissing her the next."
"Help me. Please."
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
"How old are we? How many times have we done this? How many lives?"
"Just close your eyes, and this will all be a bad dream. Maybe you'll wake up working for Her Enforcers. Maybe you'll wake up with Rarity beating down your door, ready for adventure. But just close your eyes, and everything will be better."
"No, no, it's all wrong, please, just help me-"
"Ssssh. It's all right. Just close your eyes, let me close them, hold them tight- just forget- just ignore the breaking walls, the calls down the watchtower, the threads entertwining- just-"
Twilight Sparkle woke up. It was a beautiful new day, though she wasn't sure why she'd decided to fall asleep on the floor. Oh, now she remembered - Spike had been scared by the thunderstorms last night, and so she'd come down to cuddle with him. Wherever he was now, it was probably best to leave him.
"Oh, excuse me." She looked up to see that brown earth pony, the one with the hourglass cutie mark, carrying a book balanced precariously on his back. "I hope I didn't wake you up."
"No, it's all right. Could you wait until I wake up to check out anything, though? I guess that I'm the librarian around here, after all." She levitated the book over to her, sliding a library card in. "Here you go - though I don't know why you'd want to read about ancient Equestrian tapestries."
"It's... ah, it's a hobby. You know. Can't be saving time all the time, right?" Twilight laughed at his awkward joke, and he joined in, slightly lackluster.
"You have a good day now, okay?" Twilight said as he turned to leave - and when he looked back, for a moment she could see tears in his eyes.
"Yeah. You have a good day today, Twilight."
And he walked out, leaving Twilight to the rest of her day in peace.
Since this is quite literally the steaming-hot-fresh-off-the-keyboard first draft, feel free to tell me how awful it is.
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2011-04-03, 10:20 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Apr 2008
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2011-04-03, 10:34 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Nov 2005
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Re: My Little Pony IV: Friendship is Sufficiently Advanced Technology
Spoiler
Well that's... intriguing. Surreal, but intriguing. It took me a little while to figure out what was going on, but once I did I found myself fascinated. Very head spinny stuff. Is this the consequence fictional characters suffer as a result of an overabundance of fiction written about them?
I'm actually very hesitant to offer any advice about fixing things up or changing much of anything. What I can tell you is that it works as it is, and I fear it may never work again. It's broken where it needs to be. I think that's the best way of putting it. I don't know if that's very helpful, but it's what I've got at the moment. Thanks for sharing your work with us.
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2011-04-03, 10:38 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Jan 2006
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- Maryland
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Re: My Little Pony IV: Friendship is Sufficiently Advanced Technology
I was writing a critique, but it fell apart halfway through when I realized the choppiness was intentional, and the rationality fell away. Overall, pretty good, but the explanation scene with the doctor needs clarity, since I'm not exactly sure what some of the things he's talking about are. I think I'd need to watch Dr. Who to understand. The something-something principle, and who the Watchers are. I get that Twilight is bouncing around between different timelines (for some reason), but the scene with the Doctor should be more of an island of stability and sanity in the sea of chaos. Needs just a little more focus.
Avatar by Glasswhistle
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2011-04-03, 10:42 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Apr 2009
Re: My Little Pony IV: Friendship is Sufficiently Advanced Technology
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2011-04-03, 10:50 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jan 2011
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- Somewhere south of Hell
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Re: My Little Pony IV: Friendship is Sufficiently Advanced Technology
Batman hang chocolate shall suffice.
Not going to read that fic yet (I'm in the middle of one as we speak) but from what I've seen of reviews it should be a good'n.
Tangent: friendship = magic. Maybe Twilight Sparkle is getting Steiger because of this? It would explain her teleport now, but not when freaked out powers for one. It has some pretty interesting ramifications if you assume it is true and then view the series through that lens.
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2011-04-03, 10:51 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2007
- Location
- United States
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Re: My Little Pony IV: Friendship is Sufficiently Advanced Technology
Honestly, I skipped it at first when I read the first paragraph and saw a line repeated. Then I read the few posts above this one, and decided it would be worth a read. Pretty good stuff. I enjoyed the meta-level jumps across continuities, and the Doctor's explanation was just vague enough to make sense (or perhaps watching enough SciFi has trained me to blindly accept technobabble and make up my own explanation to fit the gaps).
The reader just has to be in the right mindset, I think. Make sure to allude to what's happening in the story somehow in the description if you send it in to ED, or make mention of Dr. Whoof being involved (his name is an instant red flag for timey-wimey shenanigans).
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2011-04-03, 10:52 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Jan 2006
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- Here and there...
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Re: My Little Pony IV: Friendship is Sufficiently Advanced Technology
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2011-04-03, 11:04 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Apr 2007
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- London
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Re: My Little Pony IV: Friendship is Sufficiently Advanced Technology
@Raz_Fox
I like it! I love the references to the multitude of other fics and it conveys that disjointed feel of confused continuity very nicely. Is it inspired by any specific episode? The concept seems somewhat familiar but I can not quite place it.Last edited by 1dominator; 2011-04-03 at 11:05 PM.
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2011-04-03, 11:27 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2007
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- United States
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Re: My Little Pony IV: Friendship is Sufficiently Advanced Technology
So, the first of several fanfic projects I'm tackling is reaching a state close to presentable. It's a series of short snippets of dinnertime scenes in Equestria.
You'll notice, though, that it's not necessarily complete. That's where you guys come in. Anyone who has an idea for a scene can just PM with their email address and I'll send them an invite with edit permissions on the document. At that point, you can add your section as you like. If something isn't your section, please refrain from changing it without permission from the author (as such, sections should be signed; anything unsigned will be mine). For example, if something I wrote seems off or out-of-character, make a post here (or shoot me a PM if you really prefer) and after we decide what it needs to be better, whoever gets to it first can make the necessary changes.
Alternatively, post your contribution here and I'll add it in myself.
Just two requests:
1) Last story is Celestia/Luna.
2) Last story is mine to write.Last edited by AlterForm; 2011-04-04 at 09:49 AM.
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2011-04-03, 11:43 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Apr 2009
Re: My Little Pony IV: Friendship is Sufficiently Advanced Technology
Rainbow Dash's story is the best story. Just like always.
Poor Trixie.
I salute your enlightened inclusion of Pony Economics within the greater narrative.
You've been pretty comprehensive there. I can think of the following characters who lack stories:
- Gilda
- Derpy
- Hoity Toity/Sapphire Shores/Photo Finish
- Scootaloo
I don't have anything off the top of my head, but I'll give this a think and get back to you
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2011-04-03, 11:46 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Nov 2005
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Re: My Little Pony IV: Friendship is Sufficiently Advanced Technology
You make me wish I could take on another creative project, but if I try it, I'm gonna pop. I feel so overwhelmed by work and ponies right now. I think it's mostly work, but it's a very weird feeling for ponies to suddenly be associated with stress. I definitely don't want to push that paradigm any further.
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2011-04-03, 11:49 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Jul 2007
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- United States
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Re: My Little Pony IV: Friendship is Sufficiently Advanced Technology
I liked that one so much myself that I branched it off into a separate project that will hopefully span 3 separate chapters. I may or may not ever find the time or heart to finish it.
You've been pretty comprehensive there. I can think of the following characters who lack stories:
- Gilda
- Derpy
- Hoity Toity/Sapphire Shores/Photo Finish
- Scootaloo
I had a pretty good idea for a Scootaloo one, too. Just "pretty good," though, so hopefully someone else can come up with a really good one.
And I really do want to fit as many characters in as possible, which is why I'm turning to you guys for help in figuring out and writing all the ones I've missed.
Like Little Strongheart. Who just popped into mind as having really great potential here.
No worries, Phoe. Ponies are about fun, and I'm sure your stories will be great too, so don't feel obligated at all to stretch yourself too thin. Too many soups spoil ... the chef? Eh, whatever.Last edited by AlterForm; 2011-04-03 at 11:53 PM.
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2011-04-03, 11:54 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Apr 2007
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- London
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Re: My Little Pony IV: Friendship is Sufficiently Advanced Technology
@Alterform
This is very well written if I may say so myself! Poor Trixie, at least she got a 2nd helping of soup...
But who are Lyra and Bon-Bon? Are they from the show or from another fic?
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2011-04-03, 11:55 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Feb 2011
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Re: My Little Pony IV: Friendship is Sufficiently Advanced Technology
I finally found the way to sum up how awesome it was that I got fanart.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jJR1U...layer_embeddedMy anime review podcast is coming back after a one year hiatus! www.fivepointpodcast.com
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2011-04-03, 11:56 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Apr 2009
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2011-04-04, 12:03 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Jul 2007
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- United States
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Re: My Little Pony IV: Friendship is Sufficiently Advanced Technology
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2011-04-04, 12:07 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Apr 2009
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2011-04-04, 12:11 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Mar 2011
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Re: My Little Pony IV: Friendship is Sufficiently Advanced Technology
"Winning with friendship means winning at life!"
-Mako Mankanshoku