Crack Pairings V - We Revel in Infamy

[Asta Kask]

And how would he react to the fact that Vaarsuvius hadn't slept with her spouse often at all? I mean, he and V have been acting a little like rabbits. From his point of view, Vaarsuvius has the potential to be a very sensual person and has a healthy interest in sex. Sure, it'd be flattering, but it'd also be a little awkward to learn...

Well, the only solution is, of course, that Inky had done something to scare V off.

The problem you are facing is that Redcloak is very intelligent and very wise. Such people tend not to be overwhelmed by their emotions. But if he hadn't slept for a while for worrying about V, things might be different.

[Oooohaloophole]

Ive already got a skelloten of a plot. I already added the positive triats to my Salinah Now i want to find some negatives.
The positive is that she doesnt blame other people and she already knows about the sins of her parents. I wanted to Have her sort of as an opposite from tiasal. I honestly Dont like the "OMG my parents where secretly evil and now im gonna act like a jerk" (But your story still kicks major assage). Basicaly nale riased her alone and told her the basic "I did many horrible things" stuff not in detail. I just thought this was TOO good for a Tiefling and I wanted to lower the Mary sue level. Any Ideas?

[Nathander]

Heh, thanks for the kind words, folks.

Oh, before I forget. Nathander, I recently read your Therkla/Miko fic and... wow. It's very good. Keep it up. The only complaint I have is...

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His name...

WAS KUBOTA!!!

Hey, thank you very much. I appreciate the compliment. I've really loved your stuff as well. Thanks for pointing out the mistake, by the way. I'll have to work on correcting that soon.

Also, good work as usual everyone. I especially liked Sereg and Oooohaloophole's work, and half-halfling's pic as usual was fantastic.

While we're on the topic of dreams, I usually don't remember them. However, I've started to remember pieces of them more and more lately. From last night, what I can best remember is that I was a bee for some reason, and I'm just buzzing around. Eventually, I end up buzzing around some wasteland with scorched rock, and there's this giant cavern that appears to have teeth in it.

So little bee-me is looking down at this cavern, when suddenly there's a solar flare. This big giant pair of flaming female lips appears in the sky (before anyone asks, no; it didn't look like the Rocky Horror Picture Show or The Wall lips) and says to me in a man's voice, "I know it looks like there is, but there totally isn't a creature in that cavern."

That's all I remember. It's asinine and unimportant but hey, ain't all dreams?

[CoffeeIncluded]

Speaking of dreams, my common nightmares tend to include:

Failing classes
Getting humiliated in class/competitions
People hurting me/family/friends/pets/animals
When I try to tell people something's wrong and they don't listen...

[BatRobin]

I dare someone to write a fic with OOTS Jr.

Just for fun, no crack.

[Closak]

Dreams huh?

...Most of my dreams tend to involve at least one of the following.

-Snake people (Those creatures with the lower body of a snake and the upper body of a human)

-Dragons (The outcome of these are always either lots and lots of fire and screaming, or the dragons going all rabbit like on each other)

-Corrupt politicians and evil lawyers screwing over the world in general.

-Self-insertion into various video games i have played (Most of them ends with me dying horribly during the final boss fight )

-Lovecraftian abominations taking over the universe and killing everyone.

-ZOMBIES!!!11!!!one1one!!

-The military going nuts and killing every last civilian in the world for the lulz

[Meg]

My dreams tend to be complete nonsense, or me being horribly tortured just barely out of earshot of my friends and family. My one recurring dream happened when I was eight. Every night for a month I had a dream that Little Bear and his friends pushed me down a well, laughing and pointing as I drowned. Then Harry Potter would save me, and we'd get married. I was kind of an odd little kid.

Also, there's a guy named Elan in one of my classes.

[Oooohaloophole]

Dreams huh?

...Most of my dreams tend to involve at least one of the following.

-Snake people (Those creatures with the lower body of a snake and the upper body of a human)

-Dragons (The outcome of these are always either lots and lots of fire and screaming, or the dragons going all rabbit like on each other)

-Corrupt politicians and evil lawyers screwing over the world in general.

-Self-insertion into various video games i have played (Most of them ends with me dying horribly during the final boss fight )

-Lovecraftian abominations taking over the universe and killing everyone.

-ZOMBIES!!!11!!!one1one!!

-The military going nuts and killing every last civilian in the world for the lulz

Yeah Zombies for me. Im fine with dying in my dreams, but killing my family is just sick.

And closak, how come itl end badly? If you want ill resurect them after killing them if you want?

Edit: and please give suggestions on flaws, I dont want Her to become another Luna (Shudders).

[Zanaril]

What kind of comment could Inky slip that would make it seem like that? It couldn't just be something like 'She shouldn't have left me and the kids for six years!' could it? Even with his obvious bias, Redcloak wouldn't be irritated by one spouse wishing that the other didn't up and walk out like that.

Admittedly it would take an Elan-esque level of miscommunication for Reddy to get the wrong idea and not try to get to the bottom of it. I'm having trouble picturing quite how their conversation would go (I'm assuming Inky would try to blame Reddy first, since it's easier both because Reddy's a goblin and because Inky doesn't want it to be V's fault).

Once Inky starts ranting about how unaffectionate V was, Reddy might point out in V's defense that it could have been Inky who was too intolerant, especially since the V that Reddy knows is affectionate. It's not true; Inkyrius did try and make their relationship work even if hir didn't go about it in the right way, but this isn't necessarily obvious from Reddy's point of view. And Inky - who really doesn't seem to know what went wrong - would probably just carry on blaming V's shortcommings.

But how would he deal with this? Get tense and defensive of course, but he wouldn't want to do anything bad to V's ex-spouse. Vaarsuvius has enough to deal with as-is.

He'd just use it to argue back anything Inky can say against V. I agree, Reddy isn't going to get violent, although he's perfectly capable of upsetting Inky.

And how would he react to the fact that Vaarsuvius hadn't slept with her spouse often at all? I mean, he and V have been acting a little like rabbits. From his point of view, Vaarsuvius has the potential to be a very sensual person and has a healthy interest in sex. Sure, it'd be flattering, but it'd also be a little awkward to learn...

Awkward and potentially worrying? He's going to start puzzling over why exactly this was, and why it's different now.

...Now I want to make a V/orc pairing just to stick it to the so-called 'limits'...

At least there wouldn't be any unwelcome pregnancies if you were following that edition's rules.

My dreams tend to be complete nonsense,

A lot of mine are just me flying around while people stare in awe at my flying powers, while I keep insisting to them that it's just a dream.

[Crilly]

GODS STAY AWAY LITTLE BEAR!

That thing is creepy.

On another note, I might actually try to write a V/Elan fic, it sounds fun and I've had a plot running in my head. (I wrote a bit of a fic, but I got a new computer so I don't have it anymore.)

[ShinyDelusion]

Chapter 2 of It Started With a Kiss Seriously, if anyone can think of a better title I'll rename it.

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Two days earlier...


"This human custom is wasting valuable time." Vaarsuivius groused. "Time better spent tracking down Xykon, I might add."

"Relax, ears." Belkar said with a yawn. "Sidequests are like free XP. They're easy, we get to kill something that isn't aware we're coming, heh, and the rewards are disprop- distro- dispair - big, compared to the challenge."

"I find no fault in the taking on of the occasional sidequest. As you have noted, the rewards are often disproportionate to the challenge offered. No, what I find fault with is this." The elf spread robed arms in exasperation, taking in the entire opulant room.

The Order of the Stick was currently located in the mansion of baron Edgar Reddragon the Third, lord ruler of Reddragonsville (a man who, incidently, desperately hated his family name, and the grandfather who founded the city. It seemed to attract a rather unpleasant number of dragons). Specifically, they were in a waiting room adjoining the audience chamber, idling while they waited for the signal to enter. Three days ago, the Order had slain the wizard Entresi the Mad, who lived in a tower outside the town. Apparently he had been creating a number of cursed magic items and selling them to residents for kicks. When the Order heard of his various torments, they were quick to offer their services (for a fair price, of course). Now they waited to reap the rewards.

"What's the big deal, V?" Roy asked, perplexed. He stretched languidly, slightly uncomfortable out of his armor and in a silk shirt. Really, the rest of the order was doing no better. Haley looked positively at odds in a dress, Belkar looked like Frodo's twisted brother, Durkon's eyes darted about the room warily, as if he expected attack at any second now that he wasn't surrounded by steel. Only Elan and V seemed normal, mostly because they hadn't changed. Elan's 'dashing swordsman attire' as he called it, was apparently fit to be seen amongst nobles, and Vaarsuvius had simply refused to change. The servant who had been dressing them nearly threw a fit until Roy tactfully pointed out that a powerful and mysterious wizard would be of more interest to the Reddragonsville upper class than some elf in fancy clothes.

"The 'big deal' is that we waste time here as the baron trots us out to be put on display like some collection of prized lapdogs for his snivelling colleagues while Xykon could be anywhere, doing anything!" The elf grumbled, gesturing at the air darkly.

"Look, it won't take that l-"

"And the worst part, is that he plans to end the parade by carting out his filthy spawn, and having us perform a thoroughly pointless ritual upon her hands!"

"You're worried about kissing her hand? Really? This is an issue for you?" Roy asked, bemused. "Look, I know its kind of a silly custom, but in human lands, generally when a knight or a group of brave knights-"

"Of which we are neither."

"Anyway, it's traditional for the knights, when they do a great deed, to be offered a chance to kiss the queen's hand-"

"Of which the baron's daughter is neither. A queen nor married to him, that is."

"As I was saying, the practice has sort of spilled over to other nobles. It's a sign of the baron's respect for us that he's letting us do this."

"I didn't know wasting our time was a sign of respect."

Roy tried very hard to keep his anger from bubbling over. He could sense that V was frustrated, and simply taking it out on the easiest available target. Why the elf was in such a bad mood was a mystery, but he was used to dealing with the quirks of his party members by now. That's not to say he wasn't delighted when a herald began to call their names. He may have even mumbled a prayer of thanks to whatever gods might have been listening.


"Presenting Durkon Thundershield, a dwarven cleric of Thor, come all the way from the dwarven lands to rid us the wizard!"

Durkon blanched. "Tha's not why I-"

"Just get out there!" Roy hissed, shoving the dwarf through the door. He heard clapping and saw Durkon waving half-heartedly to the crowd.

"Next is Belkar Bitterleaf, a halfing ranger and lover of the woodlands!"

"What? WHAT?! I'll slit his friggin' throat and-"

"No, you won't!" Roy barked. "Get in there and don't kill anyone!"

The halfing departed, muttering sullenly under his breath. He quickly brightened as he entered the room, and immediately began making catcalls and lewd offers to the various nobles' wives and daughters.

"Who could forget the musical stylings of Elan the Dashing, a bard famed across the lands! Come on out, Elan!"

Elan looked crestfallen. "Roy, how come he didn't say my last name? It's real easy. It's T-"

"Elan, there's no time! Move!" Roy replied. We can deal with that later!"

Another burst of applause greated Elan's entrance. The herald continued on. "Next up is Haley Starshine, an enchanting rogue and stealer of many, many hearts!"

Haley cocked an eyebrow at Roy. "Stealer? Really? This guy's material is the best they can come up with? What, did he not make it through preschool?"

Roy put his head in his hands. "Haley, please, please do not make this any more difficult. Just get out there."

"You owe me 10gp if he screws up your introduction." Haley shot over her shoulder as she walked clumsily into the audience chamber to thunderous applause and a few wolf whistles.

"Presenting the amazing Roy Bluepommel, a fighter who leads the group with the might of his steel!"

Roy bit his tongue as he stepped into the audience chamber. He was torn between correcting the herald about his name, or insisting to the crowd that he wasn't just a big dumb fighter and infact, had an MBA. Instead he just looked around the room. It was two tiered, with the second tier containing a number of seats for the nobles to look upon the various proceedings below. The lower tier had a bright red carpet leading to an honest-to-gods raised thrown, where the baron sat regally with his teenaged daughter in a normal chair by his side. Roy took his place with the rest of his party, standing just a few meters away from the thrown.

"And finally, I present Vaarsuvius, and elven wizard of great and mysterious power!" The room grew silent in expectation, The herald glanced nervously at the door. "I said, I present Vaarsuivius!" He declared. He finally peered into the waiting room, which he found empty. "Vaarsuvius? where are you?" He said somewhat less thunderously.

Roy turned away from the baron to look at the empty room. "Oh gods damn it." He muttered darkly.

Just then he heard a voice at his side. "Dancing Lights. Dismiss Invisibility." and suddenly Vaarsuivius was standing by his side, four twinkling points of light swirling around the elf's robed form, looking every bit the powerful wizard.

Roy jumped back in surprise as the crowd began to whoop and hollar at the magical display. The elf smiled darkly at Roy. "Just a little revenge, Roy. Be thankful you haven't done anything to truly upset me."

Before Roy could reply, baron Reddragon called the crowd to order. He began a rather long and rambling speech, thanking the Order for their heroic actions while they stood mute and uncomfortable in their finery. Finally, he got to the part that Roy assumed meant they were near the end of the whole thing. "And so, as a small token of my appreciation," The baron declared magnanimously, "I present to you my lovely daughter, Casey Reddragon, to grant you her favor."

"Almost done." Roy whispered to V. The young baroness-to-be had to bend over slightly to allow Durkon and Belkar to kiss her hand, the latter of whom began mumbling dirty offers to the girl before Roy very unsubtlely kicked him in the rear. Elan made a big show of it, bending at the waist and very gracefully putting his lips on the back of her hand. Next, the girl moved to Haley, and paused, seemingly unsure of herself.

"Look," Haley whispered. "I know it's usually men, and if I had my way I wouldn't be here, but let's just make everybody happy and get this over with."

"O-of course, miss Starshine." The girl whispered back, extending her hand.

"That's the spirit." Haley responded, winking suggestively as she took the girl's hand. The poor noble turned crimson and snatched her hand away quickly after Haley planted her lips there.

"Haley," Roy muttered warningly. "Stop sexually confusing the noblewoman."

"Sorry Roy, I've got 10gp against Belkar saying I could get a better reaction out of her than him. 10gp I just won, I may add." Haley replied flippantly.

Roy turned to Casey, sighing in exasperation. "I am so, so sorry for all the trouble my party members are causing." He whispered as he bent down to take the girl's hand.

"I-it's no problem, really. My father is so happy since you killed the wizard, mister Greenhilt."

"And you even got my name right. Thanks, kiddo."

Casey flashed him a winning smile before moving on to Vaarsuvius. The elf sighed thunderously and gave a great eye roll before daintily pecking the girl on her knuckles. And that's when all hell broke loose.

"NYAA-HA-HA-HO!!" A thoroughly insane voice thundered as purple smoke filled the room. The leering visage of the departed wizard Entresi appeared in the center above the room, his grey beard a mass of tangles, and his conical cap bent, exactly as he had been before Roy had run him through. "Behold, my final curse upon your pathetic lives! NYAA-HA-HA-HO!"

Roy could see guards frantically stabbing at the gigantic wizard's head, but the thing was clearly an illusion, and sword, spear, and arrow passed right through. The purple smoke began to congeal around the young baron's daughter, and she gagged, apparently being strangled.

"Durkon, V, do something!" Roy yelled, feeling powerless. He jumped forward and clawed at the purple smoke, which seemed to be suddenly solid.

"Dispel Magic!" He heard Durkon intone. He felt Durkon's power coil about the purple smoke, only to slough off uselessly. "Dispel Magic!" The dwarf cried again. Again it failed. "S'no use, lad! Vaarsuvius, stop the spell!"

Vaarsuvius had fallen back, apparently stunned. "I did not anticipate... how could that old wizard have..." The elf mumbled dazedly.

"Vaarsuvius, wake up, damn it!" Roy yelled. But it was too late. He could only look on in mute horror as the gagging girl's mouth was pried open by the smoke, and the horrid stuff poured into her as she struggled to breath.

All at once it was over. The wizard head vanished, the purple smoke dissipated, and Casey fell over, only to be caught be Roy. He laid her gently on the ground, and almost whooped for joy when she began coughing weakly. She was alive!

"Lady Casey, are you alright?!" He asked urgently.

"I-" *cough* "I'm-" *hack, cough* "alright." She wheezed. But she didn't sound alright. Her voice sounded... deeper?

Roy rolled her gently onto her back and peered confusedly at her face. She looked... different somehow. Her hair was still the same, but her features seemed somehow harder, like her face had been chisled. He glanced down and saw she was patting herself awkwardly, as if assuring herself that everything was still there. Then he saw her shoulders. They were wider. And her throat. "ohmygods."

Her eyes widened in alarm as she came to the same conclusion that Roy did. "I'm a boy!" She wailed (he wailed?). "That crazy wizard turned me into a boy!"

Baron Reddragon turned a shade more befitting of his name. "Guuuuuaaaaards!" He roared. "Apprehend the Order of the Stick! Clearly they were in league with Entresi all along!"

"What, no, that's not-" Roy pleaded.

"Hell yeah, it's about time this party got started!" Belkar whooped. "Durkon, ears, hold off the guards! I'll make sure the women and children don't make it out!"

"Damn it Belkar!" Roy hissed.

"Oh yeah." Belkar replied thoughtfully. "I'm faking - I mean - I don't do that stuff anymore."

"People, listen to me!" Roy said, raising his arms as the guards closed in. "This is clearly a mistake! We're not in league with the wizard! He's dead! I slew him myself! V, tell them you're not in league with Entresi."

Roy turned breathlessly towards the elf, who was currently sitting on the floor, mumbling. "Surely the wizard did not have the power to fool even me... No, no, this isn't right..."

"I've heard enough!" Baron Reddragon thundered. "Throw these miscreants in the dungeons! If we can't heal my beloved daughter, then we'll torture the procedure out of them!"

"Okay, fine." Roy said. "I didn't want to play rough, but we're mid-level adventurers, and we're not going down without a fight. Haley, Elan, cover Durkon and V."

"I must find the key to that wizard's research..."

"Never mind, just Durkon. Belkar, you're with me. Snatch a weapon and subdue these guards!"

"Hell yeah! Nothin' I lpve more than non-lethally subduing folks! Wink wink."

Roy chose not to dignify that with a response. "Alright team, break!"


Three rounds later...


The Order found themselves in adjacent cells in the baron's ill-used dungeons. Durkon, Belkar, Elan, and Roy shared one cell, while Haley and Vaarsuvius shared the other, a stone wall dividing the two groups.

"Who'd have known that the baron had so many well trained guards?" Haley asked thoughtfully.

"Nngh." Roy grunted in response, rubbing a bump on the back of his head. Today was clearly not his day.

"Hey Roy." Elan said.

"What is it?" Roy asked, exasperated.

"We're in prison, Roy."

"I see that, Elan."

"Hey."

"What?"

"Don't drop the soap."

"I swear to the gods Elan, I will shiv you."

And a part of the story is revealed. But where does it go from here? Only time (and my deranged brain) can tell! Oh, and if anyone picks up the shout out I was making at the end, well, you spend at least as much time on the internet as me. This may not be a good thing.

Several parts had me literally lol-ing. I guess poor Casey is lucky she--whoops, he--has one of those unisex names... Can't wait for the next chapter!

Funny pic, Half-halfling!

Heh, thanks for the kind words, folks.

Oh, before I forget. Nathander, I recently read your Therkla/Miko fic and... wow. It's very good. Keep it up. The only complaint I have is...

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His name...

WAS KUBOTA!!!

Oh yeah, since we're talking about dreams, I recently had one where I was Samus Aran (spacefaring bounty hunter of Metroid fame). I was trying to train apprentice bounty hunters or something, but since Samus never talks when she's in her power suit (which I was), I couldn't either! I spent most of the dream waving my gun-arm around while people asked me questions that I couldn't answer, or tried to follow my vague directions. Very, very weird.

For some reason I find this hilarious.

student: But how do you <something related to complicated weaponry>?

Samus: *demonstrates, causing a small explosion*

student: I'm sorry if it's a stupid question, but you didn't have to try to blow me up.

Samus: *demonstrates again*

student: Alright, alright, I'll just go figure it out for myself, sheesh.

Samus:

Anyway, I usually wouldn't join in the conversation about dreams since I don't remember 99% of mine, but, since this is the Crack Pairings Thread (and I probably only had this dream in the first place because I spend too much time here) I guess it's more than relevant to mention that last night I had a dream where Roy was at wit's end trying to keep Pregnant!V from flying into a hormone-induced rage (and yes, I'm pretty sure that Roy was the daddy). The gods were conspiring against him. No really, they manifested just to bug V and then somehow blame everything on Roy.

[Oooohaloophole]

Hooooraaaaay! Please Congratulate Me! I got the main role in little shop of Horrors for the school play!.

Oh samuas is nothing, Imagin bieng link.

So Your the gannon dude ive heard about
........
Cool! What powers have you got
........
You like eating moles? So do I!
........

Edit: PLEEASE PLEASE GIVE ME IDEAS FOR FLAWS!

[ShinyDelusion]

Hooooraaaaay! Please Congratulate Me! I got the main role in little shop of Horrors for the school play!.

Oh samuas is nothing, Imagin bieng link.

So Your the gannon dude ive heard about
........
Cool! What powers have you got
........
You like eating moles? So do I!
........

Heheh. Life must suck for video game characters that can't talk. Congratulations!

Edit: Okay, let's see... Since she's understanding about her father's past, maybe she's overly defensive when it comes to people who aren't? Maybe she inherited from her father a flair for drama that goes too far sometimes, or his tendancy to get obsessive?

[Oooohaloophole]

Heheh. Life must suck for video game characters that can't talk. Congratulations!

Edit: Okay, let's see... Since she's understanding about her father's past, maybe she's overly defensive when it comes to people who aren't? Maybe she inherited from her father a flair for drama that goes too far sometimes, or his tendancy to get obsessive?

Oooh obsesive will do! Thank you! Now instead of running away she will put him to sleep and chase toward the book. And Hatred towards cliches! Horray for lowering Sue Levels!

[Water-Smurf]

The problem you are facing is that Redcloak is very intelligent and very wise. Such people tend not to be overwhelmed by their emotions. But if he hadn't slept for a while for worrying about V, things might be different.

Remember that he's still high on hormones if V is still pregnant. If he perceives anyone as a threat to his mate, his instinct demands that he remove them immediately.

In that state, I think it would be hard to keep a completely level head.

I wanted to Have her sort of as an opposite from tiasal. I honestly Dont like the "OMG my parents where secretly evil and now im gonna act like a jerk" (But your story still kicks major assage).

Oh, is that how it came off? (Prepare for Psychology nerd-ism.)

Tiasal hasn't turned to Xykon because her parents did horrible things. That just shook her up and made her uncertain about how her family must see her, while at the same time planting the seeds of her trust in Xykon, if not her loyalty. He was honest when no one else was.

What made her turn to Xykon was her own insecurity and feelings of betrayal. In her eyes, everyone she loves hates her because of her parents, the circumstances of her birth, and her species, and the only blood relation she knew, Right-Eye, had been just using her as a pawn this whole time. If her own uncle didn't love her, how could she be sure anyone else did? (Think about it--she has some internal insecurity over her parents because she doesn't know if she should be proud of them or not. She doesn't have any idea who they are, and a part of her unformed personality is staked on her image/opinion of them. While this is going on, her uncle watches out for her, gives her the affection her father can't give, and provides the love she craves. She loves him. Then she is led to believe that it was all faked because he considered his brother the most important factor and just wanted her to get Redcloak on the straight and narrow.)

Everyone she loves has betrayed her. Her parents never wanted her. Everyone she loves has kept important information away and lied through their teeth. Xykon is the only one she knows who's never put up a false pretense, never lied to her, never tried to subtly manipulate her, and never tried to make her think he loved her. And he won't do those things. He doesn't care about her view of her parents and he knows he can get what he wants without being subversive. He's, weirdly enough, the beacon for Tiasal when she doesn't know who or what to believe anymore. He's safe, he's honest, and he will never make her care enough to betray her.

And it's her way of telling all those people who used her and hurt her and hated her that she can do the same thing. She can make them hurt and she can hate just as hard. She's an angry and torn up little girl who just needs someone to tell her that she is loved and that her family doesn't think she's merely a grossly inconvenient abomination. As long as she feels that no one loves her, as long as she still is angry and resentful, she's going to stay with Xykon. He's the only one who hasn't hurt her, and he's the guaranteed way to make all those people regret using her and making her suffer.

I need to cut myself off, though, because I doubt you wanted to hear all this. (Unless someone else wants to hear, of course.)

In a nutshell, no, that is not why she went to Xykon.

I just thought this was TOO good for a Tiefling and I wanted to lower the Mary sue level. Any Ideas?

How is she going to screw up in your story?

Admittedly it would take an Elan-esque level of miscommunication for Reddy to get the wrong idea and not try to get to the bottom of it. I'm having trouble picturing quite how their conversation would go (I'm assuming Inky would try to blame Reddy first, since it's easier both because Reddy's a goblin and because Inky doesn't want it to be V's fault).

And yet it'd be so entertaining if they did get to that point...

Any ideas of how it could realistically go down? Redcloak's still running on hormones and likely a lack of sleep, so that'd probably make him a little less susceptible to logic, and Inky's on meds that make hir fuzzy and agitated. It can't be that hard for a misunderstanding to happen because Kyrie worded something unfortunately.

Once Inky starts ranting about how unaffectionate V was, Reddy might point out in V's defense that it could have been Inky who was too intolerant, especially since the V that Reddy knows is affectionate. It's not true; Inkyrius did try and make their relationship work even if hir didn't go about it in the right way, but this isn't necessarily obvious from Reddy's point of view. And Inky - who really doesn't seem to know what went wrong - would probably just carry on blaming V's shortcommings.

Yeah. The V Reddy knows is always touching him affectionately when they are alone and has a sensual edge that Kyrie was never able to get Vaarsuvius to tap into.

And, assuming Inky sees Vaarsuvius and Redcloak interacting at some point, how would s/he react? I mean, in all their years of marriage, Vaarsuvius was never overtly affectionate unless under special conditions. What was it about the evil goblin cleric that inspired that sort of love in V? Is it just that Inky isn't good enough? What?

Awkward and potentially worrying? He's going to start puzzling over why exactly this was, and why it's different now.

V's not going to be able to keep that whole 'My first sexual encounter was a rape in the room that I saw someone hang themselves in!' secret for long, is she?

I forsee one really, really pissed Reddy in the future. How would he deal with that realization? He can't stand the thought of Vaarsuvius getting hurt--being raped is something way out of the ballpark.

At least there wouldn't be any unwelcome pregnancies if you were following that edition's rules.

Rules are for squares.

A lot of mine are just me flying around while people stare in awe at my flying powers, while I keep insisting to them that it's just a dream.

I threaten my dream-people with me waking up and making them cease to exist if they piss me off too much. They're always nicer to me when I do that.

For those of you who are wondering, getting settled back in school is a little hectic, so it's going to be hard for me to put any updates up. No fears, though! I'm working on them! :D

[Oooohaloophole]

Remember that he's still high on hormones if V is still pregnant. If he perceives anyone as a threat to his mate, his instinct demands that he remove them immediately.

In that state, I think it would be hard to keep a completely level head.



Oh, is that how it came off? (Prepare for Psychology nerd-ism.)

Tiasal hasn't turned to Xykon because her parents did horrible things. That just shook her up and made her uncertain about how her family must see her, while at the same time planting the seeds of her trust in Xykon, if not her loyalty. He was honest when no one else was.

What made her turn to Xykon was her own insecurity and feelings of betrayal. In her eyes, everyone she loves hates her because of her parents, the circumstances of her birth, and her species, and the only blood relation she knew, Right-Eye, had been just using her as a pawn this whole time. If her own uncle didn't love her, how could she be sure anyone else did? (Think about it--she has some internal insecurity over her parents because she doesn't know if she should be proud of them or not. She doesn't have any idea who they are, and a part of her unformed personality is staked on her image/opinion of them. While this is going on, her uncle watches out for her, gives her the affection her father can't give, and provides the love she craves. She loves him. Then she is led to believe that it was all faked because he considered his brother the most important factor and just wanted her to get Redcloak on the straight and narrow.)

Everyone she loves has betrayed her. Her parents never wanted her. Everyone she loves has kept important information away and lied through their teeth. Xykon is the only one she knows who's never put up a false pretense, never lied to her, never tried to subtly manipulate her, and never tried to make her think he loved her. And he won't do those things. He doesn't care about her view of her parents and he knows he can get what he wants without being subversive. He's, weirdly enough, the beacon for Tiasal when she doesn't know who or what to believe anymore. He's safe, he's honest, and he will never make her care enough to betray her.

And it's her way of telling all those people who used her and hurt her and hated her that she can do the same thing. She can make them hurt and she can hate just as hard. She's an angry and torn up little girl who just needs someone to tell her that she is loved and that her family doesn't think she's merely a grossly inconvenient abomination. As long as she feels that no one loves her, as long as she still is angry and resentful, she's going to stay with Xykon. He's the only one who hasn't hurt her, and he's the guaranteed way to make all those people regret using her and making her suffer.

I need to cut myself off, though, because I doubt you wanted to hear all this. (Unless someone else wants to hear, of course.)

In a nutshell, no, that is not why she went to Xykon.



How is she going to screw up in your story?



And yet it'd be so entertaining if they did get to that point...

Any ideas of how it could realistically go down? Redcloak's still running on hormones and likely a lack of sleep, so that'd probably make him a little less susceptible to logic, and Inky's on meds that make hir fuzzy and agitated. It can't be that hard for a misunderstanding to happen because Kyrie worded something unfortunately.



Yeah. The V Reddy knows is always touching him affectionately when they are alone and has a sensual edge that Kyrie was never able to get Vaarsuvius to tap into.

And, assuming Inky sees Vaarsuvius and Redcloak interacting at some point, how would s/he react? I mean, in all their years of marriage, Vaarsuvius was never overtly affectionate unless under special conditions. What was it about the evil goblin cleric that inspired that sort of love in V? Is it just that Inky isn't good enough? What?



V's not going to be able to keep that whole 'My first sexual encounter was a rape in the room that I saw someone hang themselves in!' secret for long, is she?

I forsee one really, really pissed Reddy in the future. How would he deal with that realization? He can't stand the thought of Vaarsuvius getting hurt--being raped is something way out of the ballpark.



Rules are for squares.



I threaten my dream-people with me waking up and making them cease to exist if they piss me off too much. They're always nicer to me when I do that.

For those of you who are wondering, getting settled back in school is a little hectic, so it's going to be hard for me to put any updates up. No fears, though! I'm working on them! :D

Cause I seriosly desbelieve that ELAN of all people would "Forget the information". Seriosly he knows Drama BEST! He would slowly say "Tiasal, Your father hated all things Non Goblin, he still probably loves you". But He didnt. Hey I just dont like these TYPES of situations, not YOUR TYPE of situation.

Edit: She will be fed false information and attack completly Innocent Celestials instead of the Centinels (They are like the Centinels from X men, "Humans Do not be afraid, We are here to help you")

[Lawyergoblin]

I just had a thought! Does Redcloak even know that V is married already? If V told him, could some one tell me in what chapter it was in.

[Oooohaloophole]

I just had a thought! Does Redcloak even know that V is married already? If V told him, could some one tell me in what chapter it was in.

She is divorced at this piont in time.

Edit: Water Smurf, YESSSHE IS A JERK! WHAT HAVE HER PARENT DONE TO HER! OTHER THAN SACRIFICE THIER LIVES TO SAVE HER! I understand she feels lied to, but her parents never did. Some smug a-hole siad they hated her, so what? People in my school tell me that all the time.

[The Odor]

Iam back. Great work have been done. Fun stories. Sad stories. OHMYGODMAKEITSTOP stories...

A late hello to coffee's friends. Writer's block gone. Writing Darth VXHaley.

[Lawyergoblin]

She is divorced at this point in time.

That is beside the point. If Redcloak doesn't know about the marriage/divorce, then what would his reaction be if Kyrie just showed up wanting to talk to V, or if V wanted Redcloak to hunt down Kyrie for hir.

[Oooohaloophole]

That is beside the point. If Redcloak doesn't know about the marriage/divorce, then what would his reaction be if Kyrie just showed up wanting to talk to V, or if V wanted Redcloak to hunt down Kyrie for hir.

Either im confused or you. Clarify the Question.

[Lawyergoblin]

What I'm saying is that what would Redcloak's reaction be if he suddenly found out about V being married to Kyrie. I imagine he would act unresponsive, but I am curious because I don't know how Redcloak would react. As far as I can tell, he has no idea of Kyrie even playing a part in V's life. How would he react if V, being in a hospital, giving birth, asked him to find an elf named Inkyrius who she is now divorced to.

[Sstoopidtallkid]

1: I can totally see V/Therkla. Probably the only Elf/Orc story I can find that doesn't involve either rape or Pompey.

2: Miko/Therkla has taken 2 characters I hate and made a working fic of them. Congatulations.

3: "It Started with a Kiss" is awesome. And "Haley, stop sexually confusing the noblewoman" deserves to be cannon. Or at least have a banner or something made out of it. Also, "Enjoyable Curses", perhaps?

4: I want my laptop back. I have an awesome bunny and I refuse to write it on a borrowed comp.

[CoffeeIncluded]

3: "It Started with a Kiss" is awesome. And "Haley, stop sexually confusing the noblewoman" deserves to be cannon. Or at least have a banner or something made out of it. Also, "Enjoyable Curses", perhaps?

4: I want my laptop back. I have an awesome bunny and I refuse to write it on a borrowed comp.

Haley's Latent Bisexuality?

Then write it down on paper first!

[Dark_Stryke]

3: "It Started with a Kiss" is awesome. And "Haley, stop sexually confusing the noblewoman" deserves to be cannon. Or at least have a banner or something made out of it. Also, "Enjoyable Curses", perhaps?

I was rather pleased with that line myself.

I could totally see it as a banner. Haley taking the girl's hand and winking (with a heart floating above her head), while the girl has a shocked expression on her face but is also blushing. With Roy face-palming off to the side, of course.

[Sereg]

Thank you Nathander for the compliment.

Half-halfling, I liked your spoon picture and Oooohaloophole I sense potential in your latest work.

[QUOTE=Zanaril]At least there wouldn't be any unwelcome pregnancies if you were following that edition's rules.[QUOTE]

I personally interpretted it as pregnancies are possible, but not viable. I came up with an idea that each produces an enzyme which becomes toxic when they interact. (I'm a geneticist and I love trying to understand the biology of fictional creatures using my work.)

I had an idea just after midnight this morning when I was trying to sleep. I've started writing the result. I call it "Manifestations". I'll post it when I'm finished.

[Sstoopidtallkid]

Then write it down on paper first!

Commit this thing to paper? Are you insane? It involves pregnancy and dragons, I'm considering visiting a priest after writing it!

[Asta Kask]

Speaking of dreams, my common nightmares tend to include:

Failing classes
Getting humiliated in class/competitions

That's typical performance anxiety nightmares, just like mine. I haven't had any since I finally passed my last exam - yours will pass as well.

Commit this thing to paper? Are you insane? It involves pregnancy and dragons, I'm considering visiting a priest after writing it!

Oh my. Closak will go berserk if you don't write it.

[Raging Gene Ray]

I just thought I'd bring this up:

In the Arts and Crafts section, there's a semi-monthly contest called Iron Avatarist. The theme right now is Time Travel, and one of the categories is

Best OOTS Alternative Timline (any alternative timeline in the OOTSiverse)

Which should fit in nicely with some of the stories going on here (Discord, half-halfling, I'm looking in your directions).

[Zanaril]

I just thought I'd bring this up:

In the Arts and Crafts section, there's a semi-monthly contest called Iron Avatarist. The theme right now is Time Travel, and one of the categories is

Best OOTS Alternative Timline (any alternative timeline in the OOTSiverse)

Would my Brainwashed!Inky x V avatar be eligible?