Crack Pairings VIII - We Need A Half-Elf Template

[Lycan 01]

Should they escape? Or should they get om-nom-nommed on by vampiric gold? XD

[Pokonic]

Is it possible that by the end they get turned into vamps themselves?

[Lycan 01]

Right, so, half-way through the Sarah Greenhilt x Therkla story, I realized I had Sarah and Julia Greenhilt confused.

So, should I restart from scratch and figure out how to make Sarah work, or just keep writing and stick with Julia x Therkla?

[Sereg]

Lycan 01: I enjoyed those. They were very funny. Though, I think that it would be difficult to develop the first while sticking to board rules.

[Lycan 01]

Which one, the Cylia one? Or the ?? Greenhilt x Therkla one?


Still dunno what to do about the latter...

[Sereg]

I was reffering to the Celia one. As for the Greenhilt family member, feel free to write whichever you want. Seeing as though you're already halfway through with Julia, I assume that that would be easiest.

[Lycan 01]

True, true. I could always take it to ff.net or something, though.

Heh, just kidding.

Or am I?


Right, time for some more crack!


Sarah Julia Greenhilt x Therkla (Someone is a Vampire + Stuck on a desert island)

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"Well, this sucks..." Julia Greenhilt growled as she walked up the sandy beach her life-raft had washed ashore on. She'd been on a cruise with some friends, and a pesky Kraken had decided to try and soothe its munchies by attacking it. Amazingly, she'd found an escape craft and made it away from the sinking ship, but she'd left all her clothes and make-up onboard. Now she was stuck on a tropical island, all alone and with nothing to wear but a skimpy green top and a tattered green skirt. Granted, that was all her wardrobe consisted of, but still, she liked the subtle differences between them.

As she walked along the shoreline, she noticed something in the distance. A statue. More like a collosus, actually. It appeared to be a giant stone demon, and it towered over the forest. "Meh, nowhere else to go..." the dark-skinned teenager shrugged, heading off towards the structure. It didn't take her long to get there, thanks to the magic of montages, but her stylish green shoes did not survive the trip. Oh well, going barefoot allowed her to show off her awesome green toe-nail polish.

Eventually arriving at the statue, Julia examined the engraving at its base. Apparently, some chick named Therkla would have made a pretty cool girlfriend. It would have seemed that the statue had once served as a grave marker. But that no longer seemed to be the case - the ground in front of it had been dug up, and now there was only an empty hole in the ground. "Ew, somebody dug up a corpse..." was all Julia could really say on the matter. "How gross is that?"

"Pretty gross..." a voice remarked from nearby. Wheeling around, Julia discovered that she was being watched. Leaning against a tree nearby was a girl with green skin, dark green hair, and a purple uniform. The uniform looked a bit worse for wear, and her hair was slightly dirty, but besides that most people would have found her to be a rather attractive young half-orc.

"Who are you?" Julia asked, jumping slightly.

"My name is Therkla..." the new girl replied, smiling. "And you are?"

"Julia Greenhilt," Julia replied. "Wait, isn't the girl who's grave this is named Therkla?"

"Yeeeeeah..." the green-skinned girl ponder for a moment, before continuing. "She was my twin sister, and appears to have been robbed from her grave. Oh well. We had the same name, but with different pronunciations. Trust me, its common amongst Orks..."

"I can believe it..." Julia grumbled, not really caring. "So, I'm assuming this isn't a deserted island? Thank the gods..."

"Well, there's a tribe of Orks on the island," Therkla replied, "But other than that, there's not much contact with the outside world."

"I'm doomed..." Julia sighed sadly.

"Don't worry, I'm sure a merchant vessel will stop by at some point. Eventually..." the half-orc shrugged.

"That's comforting..." the dark-skinned girl grumbled. "So, what is there to do around here?"

"Not much..." Therkla shrugged. "It gets quite lonely around here, actually..." she sighed sadly. Julia watched her for a moment, before a pang of human decency hit her heart.

"Y'know, since I'm gonna be stuck here for awhile, I suppose... We could be friends, and keep each other company..." Julia shrugged.

"And do make-overs and stuff?" Therkla gasped happily.

"And truth or dare..." Julia smirked.

"Huzzah!" Therkla lept for joy. "I've got a camp set up on the beach to the North of here. Shall we go?"

"Sure..." Julia nodded, walking ahead into the woods.

"Excellent..." Therkla grinned as she walked after her, revealing a set of razor-sharp fangs.

Belkar x The Snarl (Pink Frills and White Lace)

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"I AM THE SEXY SHOELESS GOD OF WAR!!" the ascended form of Belkar roared as he wrestled with the Snarl, trying to force it into a frilly pink and white dress, "AND YOU WILL BE MY B****!!!"

Thoughts?

[Sereg]

Belkar x The Snarl (Pink Frills and White Lace)

LOL!

I enjoyed both, but the second was just hilarious.

[Lix Lorn]

Omigod they were both awesome. XDDD

[Pokonic]

The second one was funny.

[Zanaril]

The second one works so well.

[CWater]

Liked the first one. It was well-written and slightly creepy.
Hm, so very Julia to always put her looks first

[Closak]

A vampiric Dragon's Hoard?! Even Closak won't touch that with a 10ft pole...

Actually, i would

[Lix Lorn]

Told you so. XD

[Lycan 01]

Thanks guys. It makes me happy to know ya'll enjoyed them. And I had a feeling the Belkar one would be everyone's favorite...

So, any ideas/suggestions for how I could further improve/develope them? Other various questions/comments/concerns are accepted, as well...

[Debatra]

I just had another idea, and I want to see what people think.

http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0221.html

Panel six. It wouldn't be a stretch to think that V could become so angry about this "revelation" that s/he would leave the Order.

On a semi-related note, what were those "Vaarsuvius-Pronouns" the people here use again?

[Lix Lorn]

(nods) Could work.

[Debatra]

Could someone else work with this idea? I want to focus on my Belkar/V fic.

(That and, as people here get to know me, they'll realize I generally prefer to come up with an idea and let the people that know what they're doing handle the details.)

[Debatra]

Just started reading that "Miko's Heart" series. I thought I just didin't remember this person, but I checked, and I can't find any mention of him/her.

Who/What the heck is Matsumo?

[Lycan 01]

Idea of V leaving: Sounds interesting. :3 Don't really see the crack pairing in it, though...

V pronouns: Hir, it, s/he, the Elf.

Somebody else writing it: I wouldn't know where to take it. Sorry...

Miko's Heart: Don't think I've read that one.

Matsumo: Another crack fic writer from awhile back, IIRC. There've been a LOT of us, so its hard to remember...



Anything else? XD

[Debatra]

Idea of V leaving: Sounds interesting. :3 Don't really see the crack pairing in it, though...

Right. Forgot this was Crack Pairings and not just regular fics.(as normal as fanfiction gets, at any rate...)

Hmm... Well, the only other one I can think of that hates Miko that much is Belkar.

...Yay! Another B/V idea!

V pronouns: Hir, it, s/he, the Elf.

Wasn't there one with a z?

Miko's Heart: Don't think I've read that one.

Matsumo: Another crack fic writer from awhile back, IIRC. There've been a LOT of us, so its hard to remember...

My knee-jerk reaction to this was quashed when I remembered you guys used to occasionally ship yourselves/each other before my time.

[CoffeeIncluded]

Right. Forgot this was Crack Pairings and not just regular fics.(as normal as fanfiction gets, at any rate...)

Hmm... Well, the only other one I can think of that hates Miko that much is Belkar.

...Yay! Another B/V idea!

Maybe he conspires with V and one thing leads to another?

[Debatra]

You know what we need?(not necessarily for this, but for something) A group-effort CrackFic! Who wants to work together on something squicky?

EDIT: I just rolled (Gender-switched (Gender-switched Thog)). Would that be normal-gender Thog, or do they not cancel out?

[Lycan 01]

Normal gender Thog.



Soooo, any more remarks on my stories? Room for improvement? I'd like to revise them, if possible...

[Sereg]

Matsumo was an OC.

As for Vaarsuvius, different people do it differently. Hir is popular as is Ze. Personally I avoid them in my fics, but in caual conversation I use V (and Vs, Vself etc.) In my mind, that should be the pronoun for all things of indeterminate gender (but I'm a Vaarsuvius fanboy, so yeah).

[Taekwondodo]

Nice stories Lycan!

[Lavieru]

Maybe he conspires with V and one thing leads to another?

Yeah, I think that should work. A secret plot to get rid of Miko, a temporary truce, first hints of mutual respect (for ingenuity above all things ), an ambush in the bushes… Or whatever.
Anyway, I think, that’s a good idea.
Yet another reason for me to regret I like reading much more than writing…

Lycan, nice work! The last was the most funny! Brevity is the sister of talent, you know. XD
So… uh… I wanted to ask, are you going to write a sequel to your V/Elan story? It was really nice and full of emotions. I remember you had an idea of writing a fic about V breaking up Elan and Haley, and I think it should be interesting to read. I’m just, you know, giving a hint.

[Lycan 01]

Lycan, nice work! The last was the most funny! Brevity is the sister of talent, you know. XD
So… uh… I wanted to ask, are you going to write a sequel to your V/Elan story? It was really nice and full of emotions. I remember you had an idea of writing a fic about V breaking up Elan and Haley, and I think it should be interesting to read. I’m just, you know, giving a hint.

Ah! Thank you! See, this is what I like - people telling me what they enjoyed, why the enjoyed it, and then telling me what else they'd like to see me do.


Indeed, I had an idea, but I'm not sure of a few plot points yet. And I'm not sure it will be as emotionally developed as the original VxElan fic I wrote - I consider that one of my best works ever, simple because of how well-written and developed it was.

But, in regards to that, my only real concern right now is: Why would V break Haley and Elan up?

I'm thinking either V discovers Haley is using Elan for selfish reasons, and doesn't actually care about him, this meaning she wouldn't be too upset if the relationship ended. Or, V grows tired of seeing them together, feeling they're not right for each other and she'd be the best mate for Elan, thus shrugging off (most) feelings of guilt for breaking them up.


Both storylines are radically different... Which one do you think I should go with?

[Zanaril]

Both storylines are radically different... Which one do you think I should go with?

The second one seems more promising... or maybe V thinks Haley is using Elan, and uses that to justify why V'd be a better mate?

[CoffeeIncluded]

The second one seems more promising... or maybe V thinks Haley is using Elan, and uses that to justify why V'd be a better mate?

I dunno, the second seems kinda out of character for V...