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2012-09-25, 09:39 PM (ISO 8601)
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LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Hello, everyone, and welcome to the thread for the discussion, celebration and support of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Asexual, Allied, and Queer individuals, and anyone else who fits into the alphabet soup somewhere!
Here's the in-thread rules!
- No adult sexual content. *It's against site rules.
- Let's keep things as A-political as possible.
- Similarly, try to leave religion out of it.
- NO discussing if LGBTAetc. is "good" or "right" for the above reasons, mostly.
- Everyone is welcome. *L, G, B,T, A, Q, A, N, V, P, R, Q, Ω, ♅, everyone. *As long as they behave themselves.
If you have a question or two about LGBTA+, you can ask it here! You can ask for advice and support in here.
In addition, many members are willing to give private advice one on one, either through email or PM. *The best ways to do this are initiating the PM, or asking for PM help in thread.
Previous threads, because archives are important.
Spoiler- LGBT people in the playground
- LGBT people in the playground - part II
- LGBTitp - part III
- LGBTitp 4: We are a family?
- LGBTitp - Part Five
- LGBTitp - Part Six
- LGBTitp - Part Seven
- LGBTitp - Part Eight
- LGBTitp - Part Nine
- LGBTAitp - Part Ten
- LGBTAitp - Part Eleven
- LGBTAitp - Part Twelve
- LGBTAitp - Part Thirteen
- LGBTAitp - Part Fourteen
- LGBTAitp - Part Fifteen
- LGBTAitp - Part Sixteen
- LGBTAitp - Part Seventeen
- LGBTAitp - Part Eighteen!
- LGBTAitp - Part Nineteen
- LGBTAitp - Part Twenty - Critical Hit!
- LGBTAitp - Part Twenty-One - BLACKJACK!
- LGBTAitP Part 22: The Best There Is
- LGBTAitP Part 23: Et tu, ~Bianca?
- LGBTAitP: Alphabet Soup-with 24 different Vitamins!
- LGBTAitP part 25: Doing Away With Subtitles
- LGBTAitP 26: No Time For Snappy Titles
And the community's previously posted list of Thousand&Wordster Dictionary of Commonly Used LGBTAitP Words and Phrases, originally scribed by AThousandWords (now Qaera) and added to thereafter.
SpoilerLagerbeta: A fine brewski to be drunk by queers and allies.
LGBT: Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans*
Trans*: Transsexual and Transgender
LGBTA: LGBT+Asexual/Allies
QUILTBAG:SpoilerQ - Queer and Questioning*
U - Unidentified*
I - Intersex*
L - Lesbian*
T - Transgender, Transexual*
B - Bisexual*
A - Asexual*
G - Gay, Genderqueer
Allies: Straight people that support equality for sexuality and gender minorities.
MtF: Male-to-Female: A woman born with male nibblies, who may or may not be seeking HRT and/or SRS. (AKA: trans woman)
FtM: Female-to-Male: A man born with female nibblies, who may or may not be seeking HRT and/or SRS. (AKA: trans man)
GQ: Genderqueer.*
CS: Cis-sexual: sex and gender match (a male with male nibblies, a female with female nibblies.
TS: Transsexual: Sex and gender disparity.
HRT: Hormone replacement therapy. MtF's take more progestrogens and oestrogens and FtM's take more testosterone (I think?)
SRS: Sex Reassignment Surgery: Surgery to replace/transform a vagina into a penis, or vice versa depending on direction. Mastectomies or plastic surgery may be used on breasts.
FFS: Facial Feminization Surgery: Plastic surgery to reduce chin/nose/cheekbones. Not very common.
Man: A cisman or transman. Male.
Woman: A ciswoman or transwoman. Female.*
Androgyne: Gender Identity with male and female aspects.*
Genderfluid: Someone who fluctuates between male and female.
Agendered: Someone who feels neither male nor female.
Third-gendered: Someone who fits in a local society's third gender, usually male performing female tasks, occasionally vice versa.
Masculine: Something generally associated with men.*
Feminine: Something generally associated with women.
Lesbian: A woman who is attracted to women.
Gay: A man who is attracted to men.
Homosexual: A person who is attracted to members of their gender.
Heterosexual: A person who is attracted to members of the opposite gender.
Bisexual: A person who is attracted to both male and female people.
Pansexual: A person who is attracted to people regardless of gender.
Asexual: A person who does not feel any/some sexual attraction.
Demisexual: A person who is only sexually attracted to someone(s) they have formed an intense emotional relationship with.
Androsexual: A person (of any gender identity) who is sexually attracted to the male-bodied form.
Gynosexual: A person (of any gender identity) who is sexually attracted to the female-bodied form
Polyamorous: A person who is interested in a relationship with more than one person.
Radosexual: A person who is only attracted to rad people.
Pomosexual: A person who avoids SO labels.*
Sexual Orientation: How one identifies who they are attracted to. (SO)
Gender Identity: How one feels inside society's idea of "man, woman, or other". (GI)
Gender Expression: How one expresses their GI to society. (GE)
Significant Other(s): Person you are in a relationship with. (SO)Quotebox
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2012-09-25, 09:45 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jan 2007
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Thanks for asking me to make the thread, SiuiS. I don't know why, but that acknowledgement that I'm part of the community, not just a hanger-on, really touched me
I has a happy.Quotebox
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2012-09-25, 10:04 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Nov 2008
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Well, there's the RA; but I'm not sure if they're supposed to deal with stuff like this.
Yeah, but I don't want it to be "a name that can be applied to a boy" though. Like, not "this is a boy named Lena", but "this is a girl named Lena".
My dorm is mixed. I actually don't even think single-gender dorms are a thing here. I don't know of any at least. I don't really have clothes to go in girl-mode though... I've been meaning to order some stuff now that I'm back at dorms since I'm not sure if I'm confident enough to go to stores yet but the mailbox key is missing. >.> (Have to ask the RA about that when they pop by later this week.)
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Also yay, happy Helio!
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2012-09-25, 10:18 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Jan 2011
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- Endrae
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2012-09-25, 10:19 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Oct 2008
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- Xin-Shalast
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2012-09-25, 10:36 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Feb 2006
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- Under a 1st Ed AD&D DMG
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2012-09-25, 10:36 PM (ISO 8601)
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- The land of corn
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2012-09-25, 10:42 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Sep 2005
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- Australia
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2012-09-25, 10:55 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Feb 2006
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- Under a 1st Ed AD&D DMG
Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Astrella. That's a bit surprising to me. I didn't know of any place Mixed dorms were common.
Learn something new every day.
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2012-09-25, 11:10 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Sep 2011
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
In my experience, in these kinds of cases, there are co-ed dorms but the individual rooms are still separated by gender. It's pretty common, at least in U.S. colleges (though I'm not sure it's the same where Astrelia is)
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2012-09-25, 11:18 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Nov 2008
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Yesh, mixed gender is the standard here. The concept of roommates is still something that odd to me, cause that is completely not a thing here. (unless you're living together in an actual appartment I guess.)
Last edited by Astrella; 2012-09-25 at 11:19 PM.
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2012-09-25, 11:55 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Oct 2008
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
In NC, USA here, and the freshman dorms were divided in halls of each gender. For latter year areas the dorm were still single gender, unless co-ed was requested, but halls were mixed.
I am:
Spoiler
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2012-09-26, 01:38 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2008
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- Bottom of a well
Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
At UC Santa Cruz the dorms are co-ed, but there are women only floors available on request. Interestingly, there are no single gender floors for men, the justification given being that there had never been enough requests to justify it.
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2012-09-26, 02:38 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2010
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- The Great PNW
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
My alma mater had a women-only floor, but during my senior year they went to gender-neutral housing. As in a man and woman can room together (though both have to agree to it ahead of time). We had enough students whose legal gender didn't match their presented gender that the administration finally gave in. Most of the other colleges in Oregon already had gender-neutral housing.
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2012-09-26, 04:27 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Yes, that is true
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
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2012-09-26, 04:49 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Jan 2012
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- QLD, Australia
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
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2012-09-26, 05:02 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jan 2007
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
University bunfight is today - the event where all the clubs and societies try to persuade you to join them. I'm getting cold feet over my intention to sign up for pole dancing
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2012-09-26, 05:22 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Jan 2012
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
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2012-09-26, 05:36 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Jul 2010
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- Dublin, Ireland
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
You are definitely part of this community! *hugs*
Oh, of course, sweetie, I didn't mean it like you should present as a boy named Lena. I thought you were worried about being tagged as a boy and I was trying to reassure you that even if someone mistook you for a boy, it's not like "Lena" would be an impossible name for a boy, so they'd likely just trip on in their mistake without making a big deal of it. ... My point, which I seem to be struggling to make, is that I think you should go for what makes you happy. And the RA as I understand them is totally supposed to back you up, and if they don't, go to the ... chief RA? Or student services.
That's weird and kind of dumb. I suppose there are a lot more women who feel unsafe in the presence of men than vice versa, and unfortunately, it's way easier to make a "No Men" space than a "No Rapists/Abusers" space. I have my fingers crossed for that second one though. Someday we'll work it out.
I ... think pole-dancing is kind of stupid and problematic, actually, but that doesn't stop me from thinking you should go for it, if you want to. Go Helio!
I dunno, I genuinely don't know how people can spend that long in the shower. I mean, you take your clothes off, step into the shower, then wet and wash your body as the water is warming (I have sort-of-warm showers, never hot showers), then rinse it off as you wet your hair, then shampoo the roots, rinse, condition the tips, rinse, step out, towel off quickly cause you're naked and wet, then put new clothes on and comb through your hair. That all only takes ten minutes for me, up to fifteen if it's cold or I'm sick or tense and I decide to have a slightly-warmer shower and stand under the water for a minute to relax, but that takes effect almost immediately.
Cheerfairy, Kenderwoman and Geologist by Succubus, Feminist Geomancer by Astrella, Kender Wizard by me
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2012-09-26, 05:40 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Jan 2007
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
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Wish building characters for D&D 3.5 was simpler? Try HeroForge Anew! An Excel-based, highly automated character builder. v7.4 now out!
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2012-09-26, 05:53 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Apr 2011
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- Ashes...
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
The RA is supposed to make sure that everyone is following the rules, right? Well, I'm pretty sure that "no harassment based on gender" is one of the school's rules. If it's not, I'm not sure that that's a school I'd want to go to.
*hugs* I think you should go for it! I kow it's scary, but if you always take the easy road, you'll never get where you want to go. Our path in life runs through a thick, dark, scary forest, but if you never brave that road, you'll never emerge into the sunlight on the other side, right?
^ This! Very much this!
I think you should go for it! I've always wanted to learn something like that, but I'm always too afraid that I'll look stupid. Go! Allow us to live vicariously throguh your successes!
...And, of course, to make yourself happy. That's the most important thing!"It is important to draw wisdom from many different places. If you take it from only one place, it becomes rigid and stale." --Iroh
LGBTAitP! If you want to talk, learn, or have some fun, stop by!
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2012-09-26, 05:57 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Jul 2012
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- In the Final Frontier
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
My school had gender separted floors. Guys on one side, gals on the other, with a large common area room between the two sides.
As I was going they ended up taking these dayrooms and converting them into regular rooms for five or six guys to share.
Now that I think back on it, is it kinda odd that I would end up in a room somewhere between the two genders, given my tendency to go back and forth on my mood? Or is it just me?
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2012-09-26, 06:00 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Sep 2008
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2012-09-26, 06:15 AM (ISO 8601)
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
My uni's residential colleges were (I think) all one-person-per-room, and were all mixed except for one which was female-only. Mine was mixed all the way through, with shared bathrooms an' all. I'm not sure about the details of the others.
Then there was a "residential village", which was sort of somewhere between colleges and living in town: uni property, with administration and caretakers etc, shared with others, and self-catered. The units were 4, 8 or 12 occupant, and were any mix of sexes although you could often organise to have the specific people you want in them.The Iron Avatarist Hall of Fame!
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2012-09-26, 08:36 AM (ISO 8601)
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
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2012-09-26, 08:43 AM (ISO 8601)
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
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Oooh, and that's a bad miss.
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2012-09-26, 08:49 AM (ISO 8601)
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
My female voice sounds so weird. I lose my accent, and end up sounding... I've been compared with a breathy streamer for LoL, I got called irish by one odd person, and generally am 'somewhere in the atlantic.' Some words sound SO weird that I stop for several seconds after saying them going 'Is that how I pronounce that word?'
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2012-09-26, 09:12 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Apr 2011
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- Ashes...
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
"It is important to draw wisdom from many different places. If you take it from only one place, it becomes rigid and stale." --Iroh
LGBTAitP! If you want to talk, learn, or have some fun, stop by!
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2012-09-26, 09:35 AM (ISO 8601)
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
I would have gone with divorced from the harrowing series of events that push back the wedding, the Five-Year Engagement would have been an adorable and hilarious romcom instead of a nihilistic primer for disappointment and crushing despair.
I don't have a problem with you, a grown up at college, going to do some sideways gymnastics (okay, that sounds a LOT more like an innuendo than I thought it would!). And in a different world, I would probably love pole-dancing, and there would be an Olympic event of it, and it would be awesome and do what it can do - show off strength and skill - without any problematic stuff. But unfortunately, we live in this world, where pole-dancing is a thing marketed to women (and disturbingly young girls), and only women, as a fitness craze, while simultaneously being marketed to men as a way to watch women's bodies, again.
It's microproblematic versus macroproblematic again. The problem isn't a pole-dancing class, or an individual, or you, the problem is the way pole-dancing is coded in our culture, explicitly gendered, and associated with the commodification of women's bodies.
Cheerfairy, Kenderwoman and Geologist by Succubus, Feminist Geomancer by Astrella, Kender Wizard by me
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2012-09-26, 09:41 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Sep 2008
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- UK
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Now now, Miss Wizard, you're not being entirely fair there. There are more than a few strip clubs out there for female clientele that have poles installed for male dancers to use in their acts. Granted, pole dancing may have association with female strippers than male strippers but the world does not change over night. It's only through small steps like these that we achieve equality.
Besides, when it comes to shameless lust, commodification is a human trait rather than a male trait. Case in point - self insert fan-fiction. You can't tell me with a straight face that your lifelong dream of being the tasty filling of a Thor/Loki sandwich has more to do with a cool, logical assessment of the personalities and less to do with their long flowing locks, gorgeous eyes and pleasingly muscled bodies, hmm?