Results 271 to 300 of 1476
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2017-07-29, 07:53 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2016
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.
*Knock knock*
(Opens door) "Who's there? Huh, nobody." (Closes door)
*Knock knock*
"Who's there?"
"Look down!"
"Look down who?"
"This is not a joke, I'm three feet tall you brickhead!"
".....oh. Didn't see you there."
"You don't say."Last edited by Gallade; 2017-07-29 at 07:54 AM.
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2017-07-29, 09:23 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2012
- Location
- toulouse
- Gender
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.
knowing my sense of humor, that's the fastest way for me to have an excuse to carry 15 different pairs of sunglasses. angry, hungry, surprised, scared, disappointed, puppy eyes, lovey-dovey, moolah, blasé, dead, and flabbergasted come to mind immediately.
(note to self: make it work in pf with my half-drow, get a gnome on it if need be. explosive shades are always a win)
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2017-07-29, 09:50 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2016
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.
"Diana, did you always have working legs?....and those big ears...and those big teeth...and that big tail...okay, spank my butt and call me Red Riding Hood, this joke was dead when it started."
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2017-07-29, 09:53 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2014
- Location
- Arcadia
- Gender
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.
"We're going to be space cannibal privateers!"
"So basically, adventurers."Creator of the LA-assignment thread.
Join the new Junkyard Wars round and build with Cloaked Dancer and a companion creature!
Interested in judging a build competition on the 3.5 forums but not sure where to begin? Check out the judging handbook!
Extended signature!
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2017-07-29, 09:56 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2013
- Location
- Phoenix, AZ
- Gender
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2017-07-29, 02:50 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2016
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.
"You got the book?"
"Yeah, it was hard to find but...worth it."
"Ooh, look at the pictures, they're so detailed!"
"Yep, but making one of those has to be exhausting for both of us."
"Why don't we try a simple one?"
"Like this one? How do you do it?"
"It's just like the one we always do, but you slather everything in whipped cream in the end."
"What about this? It looks tough."
"Maybe for the two of us. Let's call up on Shun for this one, how about it?"
Hearing a blood-curling scream of pain from outside their cabin, Rand & Silky put down the deluxe cake recipe book and rush out to check.Last edited by Gallade; 2017-07-29 at 02:54 PM.
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2017-07-29, 05:30 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2013
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.
Vishal: You can't have podunk and doors!
Cramden III, Son of Cramden Jr: It smells like pickle juice! Why do you keep that around?
Cramden III: Cramden Ho!
Cramden Jr: Don't be an idiot.
Cramden III: Sorry, I was just trying to do a thing-
Cramden Jr: Don't ruin the moment, either.
Vishal: He's a Vish-kabob now.
Cramden III: I pull off my eyepatch-
DM: You've had an eyepatch this whole time?!
Cramden III: Only to perform the wedding. Anyway, I put away the eyepatch and the pair of fake birds on my shoulders...
JC: What are shrimp doing in the Cloudbreakers?
DM: They're mountain shrimp, and you do not want to know where they came from...Last edited by JBPuffin; 2017-07-29 at 05:31 PM.
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2017-07-30, 01:40 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2012
- Location
- The State of Denial
- Gender
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.
"So, if I keep swinging my hips, do I get a bonus to my armor class?"
"We're going to die young and rich. We'll find our way to the dragon's lair, he'll find us and kill us, and we'll die rich!"
"Did you just say that strength is your corset?"
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2017-07-30, 12:24 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2016
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.
"Pistackio, you speak old coot, go talk to that senile broad before she bores us to death with another tirade about bass fishing"
Last edited by Gallade; 2017-07-30 at 12:35 PM.
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2017-07-30, 02:21 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2008
- Location
- Orlando, FL
- Gender
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.
Well, a distracted enemy can't hit you, right?
GM: "When we last left our heroes, they survived--"
Nick: "Tina Turner's Thunderdome."
GM: "What is that on your shirt? Is that an elf with a mustache?"
Digo: "No, it's Doctor Whooves."
GM: "What is a Doctor Whooves?"
Digo: "Ooooh, strap yourself in, we're going down a rabbit hole."
Nick: "We have two heads and one chest. On a sled."
Chris: "I need to learn a spell to break down large stone devices. Not sure which."
Digo: "Four words for you--Dis. In. Tea. Grate."
GM: "You see a hole unzip from reality. It's not done in a way you've seen before, and you've seen a few."
Chris: "Which says a lot about our adventures."
Nick: "At least it tells us which day of the week it is."
Digo: "Please tell me we sprung for the extended warranty on this companion."
Mechaneclese: "I'm sorry, but I can't bring him back."
Mel: "That's what I thought. See, Deeg, I told you!"
Digo: "We talk to gods on a regular basis! Impossibility is a dirty word here!"
Nick: "Digo, can we check Freya if she has an extended warranty tattooed on her butt?"
Freya: *slaps Nick in the face*
Digo: "That's probably a 'No'."
Nick: "Right, got the message."
Chris: "So, Cthulhu lives in the Appalachians? By the coal mines?"
Nick: "Would that make it the Coal of Cthulhu?"
Nick: "We could rebuild him; better, stronger, faster, lower APR financing..."
Chris: "Did you make Google?"
Mechaneclese: "Oh god no. Not at all."
Google: "Does it say 'Made in China' stamped anywhere on my tail?"
GM: "So what is your cooking bonus? +4?"
Digo: "Pfft, maybe with my eyes closed." (*rolls a 26*)
Nick: "He's trying to create a diversion because his first idea hit the ground like Value Jet."
Nick: "Yes, I know it was JFK, but I argue for Elvis Presley because after all that Methadone, he needs coffee just to hold it together!"
GM: "William already made his will save against the intelligent spear. It is not dominating him."
Chris: "So the spear is willing?"
Digo: "I feel like i'm being passed around like a piece pipe."
Nick: "Have you been blown yet?"
Digo: "Uh, no?"
Nick: "Then you're not a piece pipe."
Digo: "Today, Hobbs will be played by the disembodied head of Chris Pratt."
GM: "The bear has to be #2, he's brown."
Nick: "Are you a two-part act?"
Digo: "Yeah, I'm thunder, Freya is lightning."
Ettin, left head: "Get her!"
Ettin, right head: "Him!"
GM: "The bear claws into William and rips him open."
Nick: "And our Pez dispenser is now empty."
GM: "What's the difference between John Candy and John Lithgow? One's six foot two inches in the other direction."
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2017-07-30, 03:43 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2010
- Location
- The Primus Imperium
- Gender
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.
I got nostalgic and went through the FWM threads. Some oldies-but-goodies.
*after flying a bomb out of the train and coming back, probably getting caught in the blast*
Ticket Master: "... ticket please?"
Lone Star: "SERIOUSLY?!"
*later, when Fox Trot and Icy Touch go to check on him*
Ticket Master: "Say it! Say it one more time!"
Lone Star: "I called your momma phat! You're a rapper, it's not even an insult!!"
Fox Trot: "See? He's fine."
NPC: "You're a total sellout."
Lone Star: "Oh I am, but you really should try some of my other stuff, maybe under the penname of Moon Shadow, some of my best is I am trying to do a sales pitch during a hostage situation."
*crashes into Fox Trot, accidental kiss. FTR, these two hate each other*
Lone Star: "BLAAAARGH!! Oh Princesses, it tastes like... like... huh, not that bad actually. Is that cinnamon? I think it's cinnamon."
Icy: "Of course. You two [Star and Esmeralda] just made out on a cloud until you forgot you'd stolen a giant robot."
Lone Star: "Nuh-uh! We did other stuff too!"
Esmeralda: *clever grin*
Lone Star: "Like watch the sun set!"Last edited by HalfTangible; 2017-07-30 at 03:44 PM.
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2017-07-30, 08:38 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2014
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.
What classes/PrCs/feats/skills convert Charisma into AC?
*straps self in* Why does Doctor Whooves have pointy ears and a stache?
I saw that you... broke it down for Chris. Bam dum tss.
What die is that? Doesn't seem to be a d20.
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2017-07-30, 09:44 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2013
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.
Spoiler: Some contextIllian: Let's have that be Plan B.
Malkin: I look a little put out at the thought of lighting everyone on fire ever not being plan A.
***
GM: Roll bluff to convey a hidden message.
Various Dice Rolls:
GM: Huh. The guy standing next to the leader shouts a warning and starts casting.
Malkin: HahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHA! PLAN A!!!!!Avatar courtesy of Kaariane!
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2017-07-31, 03:32 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2016
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.
"The ray of black light sails over your head and turns the wall behind you to dust."
"Huh? Hey, you moron! I'm made of FLESH, and you use spells that break STONE? Get your act together!"
"Is there anything that rhymes with pizza?"
"More pizza."
"You think that is good?"
"More pizza is ALWAYS good."
"99 corrupted souls in the gem, 99 corrupted souls, you summon one and smack it around, there's 98 corrupted souls in the gem..."
(Becky removes her mask)
"CAPTAIN! I EMBRACE MY HUMANITY!"Last edited by Gallade; 2017-07-31 at 06:29 AM.
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2017-07-31, 08:02 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jan 2012
- Gender
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.
When the insane mostly dead gnome necromancer is the voice of reason, something has gone very wrong.
DM: According to NecroGnome, the gold piece you gave the Hobgoblin is in that pouch, sitting there in a bare patch of dry ground amongst the trees and brush.
NecroGnome: Looks like a trap.
ElfKnight: I walk up to the pouch.
NecroGnome: I pick up the pouch."This is a trap."
ElfKnight: Is the coin in there?
NecroGnome: I open the bag and pour out the contents.
DM: Several coins spill onto the ground, including yours, according to your spell.
NecroGnome: "Definitely a trap"
DM: Roll Initiative.
NecroGnome: "See?! It was a trap!" I start throwing out more coins. "We're friendly!"
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2017-07-31, 08:48 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2011
- Location
- Sharangar's Revenge
- Gender
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.
Make sure you label them properly. You don't want this to happen (Get ready for Mister Angry Eyes!)
Warhammer 40,000 Campaign Skirmish Game: Warpstrike
My Spelljammer stuff (including an orbit tracker), 2E AD&D spreadsheet, and Vault of the Drow maps are available in my Dropbox. Feel free to use or not use it as you see fit!
Thri-Kreen Ranger/Psionicist by me, based off of Rich's A Monster for Every Season
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2017-07-31, 10:01 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2016
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2017-07-31, 11:11 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2012
- Location
- toulouse
- Gender
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.
ok, i wasn't expecting that. i chuckled. ^^
now, i really want animated empathic glasses for my half drow. is it silly? yes! will it be even more jarring when he pulls his dirty look? definitely.
(yes, the dm accepted that in order to do the stern gaze class ability of the inquisitor, i just had to do a reverse glasses pull. worth it for a +2 intimidation bonus, plus, i've handed out so many dirty looks in that team off the gaming table that we all know it works)
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2017-07-31, 04:33 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2016
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.
"I can't really accept the payment."
"But wait, you swore to live the life of virtue your fellow paladin was denied. Shouldn't you get his rewards too?"
"That's such a twisted logic it actually makes sense."
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2017-07-31, 05:48 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2008
- Location
- Orlando, FL
- Gender
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.
Spoiler: Responses!Well, the ears because he's a pony. And the stache because the GM apparently couldn't tell that was a sonic screwdriver. XD
Casting is basically the "go ahead" signal to start shooting casters.
*snerk* I would let that work if I were GM.
Nick: "Here's a great prank--take a potion of Invisibility and carbonate it."
Mel: "What temple is this? Corellon?"
GM: "No, Bahamut. She doesn't know the 'Gate' code to teleport into the other place."
Nick: "Kind cardinal--"
Abbot: "It's abbot."
Mel: "HEY ABBOTT!!"
Abbot: "Don't do that. Again. Please."
GM: "She breaks every tenet at the temple."
Digo: "What, Tennant? Do they regenerate into Matt Smiths?"
GM: "A scroll appears in the air before you, Chris."
Nick: "Oh, how nice. You got sent a screamer."
Chris: "What, no owl?"
GM: "You get a scroll personally teleported to you, and you complain?"
Chris: "Okay, well... what does it say?"
Nick: "Eat at Joes."
Chris: "I got magic spammed?!"
Malcolm: "They told me that the first rule was not to do it in public. To be covert about it! I'm wearing a skirt now! Noooooo!"
Digo: "Are we still talking about casting spells?"
Malcolm: "But I don't want to be a girl!"
Nick: "Chris, have tried pouring hot water on him to fix this?"
Alfonse: "Do you have a plan? An inkling of what you're going to do?"
Chris: "He has 12% of a plan."
Alfonse: "That's it? That's barely a plan at all."
Nick: "I'm going to blame the kidnappings on Edward."
Alfonse: "Edward? Ohhh, I like this plan. Jeeves? Call Adam to the room."
Jeeves: "Sir, we just got the blood stains off the carpet--"
Alfonse: "No, no, this time it's business. No need for his theatrics yet."
Jeeves: "Yes, sir." (leaves)
GM: "You see this drow show up, but he's so quiet, so stealthy, that it's like he isn't there."
Digo: "Oh, so he's been photoshopped into the scene?"
GM: "You can hear his outfit, it's so loud."
Mel: "Oh! The watch! Digo has that magic watch! How many ticks has it lost since last time?"
GM: "None. as in, the GM forgot. Failed his save versus senility."
Nick: "Ah, some light reading."
Book: *floats away*
Digo: "Huh. Haven't seen paper that light since my last paycheck."
Digo: "First on the list, a trident."
GM: "It's only good for six pieces."
Malcolm: "I'm tougher than I look!"
Digo: "So only two cat scratches to take you down?"
Mel: "But William is taller. Malcolm is only four feet."
Digo: "Well it's not really about height, it's about age."
Mel: "No, height is a factor! He's too short to where he'll get lost in the shuffle."
Digo: "It would have been real awkward had I hired that halfling earlier."
Nick: "We want a +2 armor, and we're willing to sell the 20 megaton thermonuclear fission/fusion bear for it!"
Chris & Mel: "99 charges of spells on the wall, 99 charges of spells!"
Nick: "What, take one down, zap it around?"
Shopkeep: "You're not gonna walk out of this shop naked, are you?"
Mel: "No, I have clothes under this armor."
Digo: "Yeah, this isn't Skyrim with mods."
Digo: "Okay, does this say 'large' or 'siege'?"
GM: "In a cloud of Jasmine-scented brimstone--"
Digo: "Wat."
Digo: "Don't worry, I'm working on acquiring a HQ for future followers."
GM: "Are you trying to amass an army?"
Digo: "The answer to that question is not 'No."
GM: "Why? Are you laying siege to the gates of hell?"
Digo: "Your barbarian in the other campaign was gathering a small army."
GM: "Yes, but only to take out a single tribe of orcs."
Digo: "Well it's not my fault that your barbarian thinks small."Last edited by DigoDragon; 2017-07-31 at 05:50 PM.
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2017-08-01, 03:50 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2016
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.
"Well, you see, girls your age always start noticing some changes in their lives. Their body may grow into a different shape, they might show more interest in boys, they sometimes change mood without explanation...and sometimes they grow a half inch thick adamantium carapace. It's just natural."
"The cultists of Razmir have been disbanded from Tamran, and forever the people will be grateful to...siiiiigh...Uto Ugi, Trund's heroic 10-foot ghost pony."
"He's the real MVP."
"I found a screwdriver."
(Everyone looks at it)
(Everyone looks at Clara)
Spoiler
"....NO!"Last edited by Gallade; 2017-08-01 at 06:05 AM.
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2017-08-01, 05:45 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2016
- Location
- France
- Gender
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.
Characters : Howard, a Blackguard, Liao, a Spell-less Bard, and Kim, a fire Wizard.
KIM - What's your goal in life, Howard ?
HOWARD - Spreading the diseases and make everyone freak out.
KIM - Mine's to burn everything ; maybe we can get along.
LIAO - I'm the sanest member of this party...
[A few minutes later]
LIAO - So, I called this plan "STDs for kiddies"...
LIAO - Howard, if you want that much this disease, we need to get you to Hell... But how ?
[Some times later, in a magic scrolls shop]
HOWARD : (comes handcuffed with a random woman) Hello good fellows, me and my wife wanted to... Spice up our life couple. Can we borrow your Plane Shift scrolls for a day please ?
LIAO - I left you only three days... And you destroyed the world. Am I right ?
KIM - Kinda. Oh, and I got married, by the way.
Spoiler: Who am I ?Alignment:
LG - 10%
NG- 8%
CG - 5%
LN- 12%
N - 12%
CN - 7%
LE - 18%
NE - 16%
CE - 12%
Race:
Human - 23%
Dwarf - 14%
Elf - 11%
Gnome - 18%
Halfling - 11%
Half-Elf - 12%
Half-Orc - 11%
Class:
Barbarian - 5%
Bard - 7%
Cleric - 16%
Druid - 4%
Fighter - 9%
Monk - 7%
Paladin - 9%
Ranger - 9%
Rogue - 12%
Sorcerer - 7%
Wizard - 15%
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2017-08-03, 02:50 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2016
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.
"Ye land-lubbing son of a boneless squid! Let me go at once! Ye unseaworthy scum must've boarded that ship by sheer mistake! Get yer dirty mitts off me! I'd rather rejoin me bones at the bottom of the sea than spend another minute in yer presence!"
"I'm seriously considering smashing your face in."
"I'm a skull, ye moron! I don't even HAVE a face!"
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2017-08-03, 03:16 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Apr 2011
- Location
- 30.2672° N, 97.7431° W
- Gender
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.
Blake: If they didn't want the button pushed, they should have had some kind of safe-guard.
Oberon: It was behind an armored plate, that could only be unlocked by turning two unique keys simultaneously, in locks that were 10 feet apart!
Blake: See! The WANTED it pushed.
****
Blake: You wouldn't happen to have any onions on you, would you?
Alien: Onions?
Blake: Never mind...so could you point to where [on your anatomy] you guys keep your liver?
****
Oberon: Blake...why did you requisition 2 tons of Fava bea.... >.< never mind....Last edited by Mutazoia; 2017-08-03 at 05:52 AM.
"Sleeping late might not be a virtue, but it sure aint no vice. The old saw about the early bird and the worm just goes to show that the worm should have stayed in bed."
- L. Long
I think, therefore I get really, really annoyed at people who won't.
"A plucky band of renegade short-order cooks fighting the Empire with the power of cheap, delicious food and a side order of whup-ass."
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2017-08-03, 04:22 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2016
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.
"That Kraken is made of hair, and the hair is asking for help. Don't question it, just go!"
"From now on, Ilvan is considered to be carrying a ghost bazooka. That is the best explanation for his power."
"I just need another couple grands for my research..."
"Root, you really are the problem of all money. And yeah I just said that."Last edited by Gallade; 2017-08-03 at 11:41 AM.
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2017-08-03, 12:30 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2008
- Location
- Orlando, FL
- Gender
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.
Spoiler: Responses!Hee hee, nice twist of an old saying.
Essence of a PC. And if it were a big happy-looking button with the word "Push" written on it in a friendly-looking font, no one would ever touch it.
So much for sanest member.
Choro: “Yes, don't talk to the beings you're killing. They signed a piece of paper. Or were made by us to be killed. Because we're massive frecking jerks whose jerkiness eclipses the sun.”
Thanatos: “Viridia, I imagine, is her girlfriend, given that she has the best protection.”
Viridia: “Can I punch this *******? I mean. I know we just fought a bunch of robots and stuff, but he is apparently a card-carrying member of the Evil Fruit family.”
Doc: “I certainly won’t stop you.”
Viridia: “You're my favorite Doctor.”
Thanatos: “If it would assist in making this a smoother operation, I will allow you to punch me.”
Viridia: “Eh, it's no fun if you agree. What's with the name, Thanatos? The rest of the Olives have names like Pit or Branch or Oil, but you're...Thanatos. Are you half-donkey or something?”
Thanatos: “I would have said the same about 'Viridia'. As for my name, I am not a mule; my grandfather simply had the flair for the exotic.”
Viridia: “Yeah, but my family doesn't go around using the same themed names like some kind of cult.”
Thanatos: “It's an earth pony tradition. Much like the Apple family, the Olives have ancient traditions going back to the foundations of the tribes.”
Viridia: “I never thought the Olives were that particular about their breeding stock.”
Thanatos: *Triggered*
Viridia: “Hehe. Finally got a reaction out of him.”
Thanatos: “You would be made if you married into the family, girl.”
Viridia: “I'm already made, Thanatos. Made to pleasure.”
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2017-08-03, 03:03 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2016
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.
"She makes a very cute picture but...is she knitting a scarf for Rand with her own silk?"
"Yep, and?"
"Isn't that like...slathering him in her own hardened bodily fluids?"
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2017-08-04, 11:20 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jan 2012
- Gender
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.
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2017-08-05, 06:10 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2012
- Location
- toulouse
- Gender
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.
eva: did we win the fight or start a barbecue?
josé: yes.
monk: i punch out the idiot princess!
dm: again?!
korinn: *sigh* i prepare mind-wipe... again...
dm: so you talk to the osirian torturer, who's a beautiful lady...
monk: geez, josé will flirt with anyone with a whip!
josé: it's professionnal admiration.
monk: same thing.
dm: you do get kind of aroused by her skill. you find it very erotic the way she deftly makes her whip dances across the naked flesh of her victim.
josé: *string of expletives* why do you want me to be the campaign bicycle?!!
monk: you're the one who went all shibari on the last prisoner!
dm: the waitress flirts with you-
josé: cayden damn it!!
dm:-hoping to get a better tip.
josé: oh... *pickpockets monk* uh, i give her a month's wages.
team: 0.o
josé: what? it's only like 5gp, tops...
dm: aaaaand she's crushing badly on you now.
josé: *huge expletive*
dm: the librarian looks at you, hiding her attraction towards you behind a stern façade.
josé: y u do dis, dm?
korinn: it's the drow blood. all the ladies like bad boys.
eva: think josé could requisition me a pet goat? they're so cute!
monk: *punches clean through a goblin* next!
josé: *hands him a pint*
monk: not what i was expecting! this is much better!
*grim finishes off the remaining goblins*
monk: hey! no kill-stealing! those were my bags of xp!
eva: you mean goblins, right?
monk: i know what i said.
josé: ok grim, mind going over there and keeping watch, please?
grim: ok, but i should be closer in case things gets rough.
josé, once grim is out of sight: *pulls out a crowbar* time for some lockpicking!
monk: you mean looting.
korinn: you mean searching for clues.
josé: no, i meant not getting punched by a 300lb half-orc for doing something morally reprehensible again. but your suggestions are *loud crack of splintered wood* taken into consideration. hey grim! somebody unlocked the door! get over here!
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2017-08-06, 04:46 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2016
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.
Geralt:"Lucian, we need you."
Root:"Uh, that's not Lucian. Well, technically he is and isn't. But he also is."
Geralt:"Explain."
Root:"That's a sentient flesh simulacrum of Lucian I made. But then I transferred Lucian's conscience inside it. So that is a copy of Lucian's body, with both Lucian's spirit and a copy of Lucian's spirit inside it. So, huh, technically you are talking to two Lucian's at once right now."
Geralt:"Did I even sign up for this?"
Lucian's:"Never owe Root a debt is what we're saying."