Results 721 to 750 of 1454
Thread: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
-
2009-08-21, 02:17 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2008
- Location
- Scotland
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
Bozzok x Mr Rodrigez, Stuck on a desert island... A spooooky island! (actually that gives me an idea) Will post sometime.
Avatar by me...yup that's how good my drawing is. As in not very good.
Crack-Pairings, Not Dead Just Moved. Someone Hasn't Been Looking In The Right Places.
-
2009-08-21, 02:31 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2007
- Location
- Maine, may it do ya fine!
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
Okay, I'm determined to right one... So here goes...
SpongebobxJulio Scoundrel
Spoiler
Oh, for years they'd mocked his TV show... Called it annoying... Childish... Not fit for anyone over the age of 9... But he'd show them.
Spongebob wanted to lash out at the rest of the world, and so he came up with the idea of doing something so utterly twisted that it would take his show off the air forever and leave only Flapjack behind...
One day, his plan came into motion. He saw a taller, tanned man with long grey hair pulled into a ponytail... The exact type of man that mocked his show. He'd show them... "HI SQUIDWARD LET ME SERVE THAT GUY OKAY" He said, defying all rules of staying undercover in one loud question.
"All right... I don't see why not," Squidward said monotonously.
"HELLO AND WELCOME TO THE KRUSTY CRAB" Spongebob said in his inhuman voice, a large, fake smile upon his lips.
"Hi, I'd like a table," Julio Scoundrel replied.
"I CAN GET YOU A TABLE I'LL BE RIGHT BACK AHAHAHA"
Spongebob seated him, and asked, "WOULD YOU LIKE ANYTHING TO DRINK"
"Uh, a diet coke. I've got to be somewhere fast, so could I order now?"
"AHAHAHAHA ORDER NOW OKAY"
"A.... One of those burger things you guys are known for."
"OKAY"
Long ago, decided that it would look to everyone else that he was totally being normal, and not being weird. Being a being of total intelligence, that wouldn't be difficult.
"HAHA SQUIDWARD I'M NOT GOING TO DO ANYTHING BAD"
"Shut up and stop wasting my time."
Spongebob got him a diet coke, and pulled the slim vial out of his pocket. He poured the blood-red liquid into the potion, and put on that disgusting smile.
---
He'd have to move fast. Sip the coke, grab the burger off the plate, and run, before the sponge noticed he was gone.
"HI HERE'S YOUR DRINK AND YOUR BURGER"
Scoundrel nodded his thanks, took a sip of the drink, and watched as the sponge walked off. Suddenly he noticed the attractiveness of the lack of curves, the perfect squareness... The holes in the sponge...
"AHAHAHAHA" Spongebob laughed.
Soon, his plan would be in full effect.
Might be a little long... Maybe too much build up... Also, I don't think I wrote Scoundrel very well. It's really centered around Spongebob.
I feel dirty inside.Last edited by Sequinox; 2009-08-21 at 02:32 PM.
SpoilerFounder of the Oracle fanclub. To join put this into your sig and give yourself a title.
Court sorcerer of House Kato.
Tuna-preparer of the Mr. Scruffy fanclub
78% of DM's started their first campaign in a tavern. I didn't.
Magioth made my avatar!
The SECOND member of the fanclub!!!
Sequinox
And the Dark Lord on his Dark Throneitp, where the shadows lie.
-
2009-08-21, 02:36 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2008
- Location
- Germany.
- Gender
-
2009-08-21, 02:39 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2007
- Location
- Maine, may it do ya fine!
- Gender
SpoilerFounder of the Oracle fanclub. To join put this into your sig and give yourself a title.
Court sorcerer of House Kato.
Tuna-preparer of the Mr. Scruffy fanclub
78% of DM's started their first campaign in a tavern. I didn't.
Magioth made my avatar!
The SECOND member of the fanclub!!!
Sequinox
And the Dark Lord on his Dark Throneitp, where the shadows lie.
-
2009-08-21, 05:07 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2009
- Location
- you might be an assassin!
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
great job. not the way i would have done it, not that I would have done it, but this deserves an A+ for complete disregard of thenatual laws of physics. why would julio scoundrel be underwater? because no one cares how the **** the main charecters got there, just what they DO. Also take into the facter: how the hell did spongebob get a love potion in the first place? NO ONE CARES! A+
Last edited by MagicianMan5; 2009-08-21 at 05:08 PM. Reason: misspelled
-
2009-08-21, 05:20 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.
If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).
The best answer is always to ask your DM.
Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.
-
2009-08-21, 05:48 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2008
- Gender
-
2009-08-21, 06:00 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.
If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).
The best answer is always to ask your DM.
Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.
-
2009-08-21, 06:49 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2009
- Location
- you might be an assassin!
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
Someone Else from Someplace Else do another one of my matchups! i really used a random number generator! remember! if you can make it make sense (or not as much sense as normal) you get an A+! look back on page 24 for my list. i'm waiting. the audience is waiting. DO SOMETHING!
-
2009-08-21, 07:10 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.
If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).
The best answer is always to ask your DM.
Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.
-
2009-08-21, 09:05 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
- Location
- Louisville, KY
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
Well, since I did propose Nale/Therkla, I should try to write it. If it wants to be truly crack, though, it would have to be about a healthy relationship between them. Let's see where this goes.
SpoilerThere should have been a bar on this island, or at least an ice cream shop, because Nale needed to drown his sorrows. Sabine's double-dealing should not have come as such a shock - it was downright cliche for the wicked seductress to have other masters on the side, and Nale was supposed to be a genius. And all this time he believed she'd been going to the lower planes to have sex.
With Thog occupied for the moment (gods know why he's dressed like a clown now), there was nothing to do but plan the next overcomplicated course of action. He'd managed to find the ship carrying his brother and had been following as stealthily as possible for quite some time, hoping to feed misinformation to those the Order had been asking for help, thereby lead them into a trap involving... Ah, but all that required a full team of evil counterparts. More to the point, with Sabine gone, he was stuck on the island.
His train of thought stopped abruptly as he realized he was being watched. Had he been monologuing? Sure enough, he caught sight of a green-skinned maiden in a ninja suit out of the corner of his eye. He turned and for a long moment their eyes met, the stranger just staring as if dumbfounded...
He looked again and she was gone. Must have been his imagination. After all, ninjas can't be seen.
Hm, nothing really happening yet. I'll probably continue it from Therkla's perspective.
-
2009-08-21, 09:28 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2009
- Location
- you might be an assassin!
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
i finally took that test that told me what D&D character I would be! But its a spoiler! so its in this Spoiler link thing! make more fanfictions of the weirdest matchups ever! YAY!
SpoilerI Am A True Neutral Human Druid/Wizard (1st/1st Level)Ability Scores:
Strength- 10
Dexterity- 10
Constitution- 11
Intelligence- 13
Wisdom- 11
Charisma- 10
-
2009-08-21, 09:40 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2009
- Location
- you might be an assassin!
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
but i am not a good writer. i know i've tried and everything i've ever written has SUCKED! i'm not creative at all! besides! theres to much crap in my life to even think clearly! its like someone cast one of the 15 magical fog/cloud things on my brain! so thats why i rely on others to make those things i posted come to life! if i wrote something, it would most likely be the worst written peice of crap that the worlds ever seen! i cant even remember when the third book took place! so yeah, i dont think i'll be writing a fanfic anytime soon! unless my ability to read and post on this thread depends on it. then you'll all get to see that i cannot write at all.
__________________
SpoilerTrue Neutral Human Druid/Wizard (1st/1st Level)
Ability Scores:
Strength- 10
Dexterity- 10
Constitution- 11
Intelligence- 13
Wisdom- 11
Charisma- 10Last edited by MagicianMan5; 2009-08-21 at 10:10 PM.
-
2009-08-21, 10:09 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2009
- Location
- you might be an assassin!
- Gender
Heres a Story for ya DarkFiddler!
fine! you want to se how much my writing sucks! READ THIS! i think i went mad just writing this part.
SpoilerThe Shadowdancer and the Sould Splices... Yikes
"Well" The Shadowdancer said to himself, as he was tormented by one of the many feinds who inhabited the 6th hell, "This is what i get for letting the horny dwarf handle the explosives." It was another few weeks before the feind let him off the Spiky Table While A Comicly Oversized Football Shoe Presses Down Hard On You, and he walked around, took a Boat Ride of Torture down the river Styx, and met three different Damned Sorcerers. their names were Jephton, Haera, and Ganonron. Jephton was a master of arcane flexibility and "flexibility," if ya know what i mean. Haera was a necromancer who could end lives with a single thought, and make them a whole lot more "pleasurable," ok? Ganonron was able to teleport anywhere and conquer anything. "Anything," huh? The Shadowdancer first thought was 'i think i love these damned souls'
I feel dirty. finish this whosoever dares! no really, do it. i aint. in fact i am deleting it from my computer. if my parents foulnd out i wrote it they will be steamed! i'm only thirteen!
-
2009-08-22, 01:01 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2009
- Location
- Lurkers Anonymous
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
but i am not a good writer. i know i've tried and everything i've ever written has SUCKED! i'm not creative at all! besides! theres to much crap in my life to even think clearly!
Just by coming up with different ways the magic-users...uh,"conquer anything" and so on, and your Comically Oversized Football Shoe, you have demonstrated that you have creativity.
So don't complain about not being creative. No one is uncreative - as long as you have ideas, which every person does, that's creativity. Why not do something about it and try reading and writing more instead?
-
2009-08-22, 01:44 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2009
- Location
- you might be an assassin!
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
all i've ever done my whole 13 years of life is read. read read read. i spent most time at recess reading. i can name several random facts of the top of my head about the ancient greecian gods, kingdom hearts video games, pirates of the carribean, the Sisters Grimm, the Pendragon series, i read so much i am a social outcast. but every time i try to write i can never stay on one plotline. i know i've tried to write many fan storys before, for kingdom hearts and Wizard 101. i kept changing everything. there were 2 reasons i did not continue with that story. one, i probably would have changed it at some point and have to start ove, and it made me feel dirty inside. so dont tell me i need to read more! i got that covered!
-
2009-08-22, 01:59 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jan 2007
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
Incorporeal Soon Kim and Mr. Scruffy... Here goes.
SpoilerIt had been a long day at work. The boss was hounding him about some new project. Mr. Scruffy just needed to numb his head before he went back to Lord Shojo. That.... man, if you could call him that, tried his patience. String this, string that, and at the end of the night, all he got as a reward was some catnip. Not that he minded the catnip; it's simply that he wasn't a kitten anymore. He was a cat, with all the desires that entails. So, I suppose, when Mr. Scruffy went into that strip club, he wasn't just looking to numb himself. In fact, he was looking for something else entirely
And boy, did he find it.
Straddling the pole, center stage, there was a ghostly presence. With grace that only a floating specter can achieve he was dancing around, no, dancing doesn't do it justice; he was violating the pole. His tight, translucent thong teased Mr. Scruffy. He had told himself he just went in for a drink and to relax, but Mr. Scruffy was anything but relaxed. Sweating (I DON'T CARE IF CATS SWEAT) through his fur coat, he had to lick himself to keep himself from being visibly moist. That must have caught the heavenly ghost's attention, because soon their eyes were locked. A gentle throbbing could be seen underneath Soon's thong. Licking his lips, Soon mouthed "The men's room, five minutes."
Yes? No? Maybe so?Many thanks to Abardam for what is quite possibly the coolest avvie ever.
"I like to think oysters transcend national barriers."-Roger Waters
-
2009-08-22, 02:06 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2009
- Location
- you might be an assassin!
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
but yeah i think i'll roll up some more matchups and post 'em. i'm not cut out for the fanfic writing. it makes me feel squicky inside. like my brain is about to throw up. or it could be those three meat pizzas i had for
lunch so yea-------------------------------------------------------
pathetic table- therkla
initial table- gender switched Xykon together in the afterlife. i am not touching this
Heavyweight table- the Chimera Trigak- something not pg enough to mention.
other table- George W bush- military uniform. Huh?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
other table- Ben 10
initial table- Redcloak and Hinjo with love potion. i dare someone to do this!
-
2009-08-22, 06:21 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2009
- Location
- you might be an assassin!
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
ok i am going to roll until i find something that someone with my limited capabilities and sensitive parent can write.
Vaarsuvius and the Chimera Trigak with adultery. i dont think anyone can make that work. i dont think so. lets roll again.
Kazumi and Mr.Scruffy with pink frills and white lace? ... i might do it, if nothing more plausible ever comes up. reroll
Mrs. Julio Scoundrel and Celia commiting adultery. yea i dont think so chum. Lets try this scene again.
Cliffport cheif of Police the IFCC in afterlife. lets try again although it does make more sense than Kazumi and the Scruffinator.
Hinjo and Webinar snowed in. alright we have 2 winners here. Cliffport chief of police with the IFCC in afterlife, and Hinjo and Webinar snowed in. i will get started. do not expect much. but do not expect it to be a total flop. i plan on putting some ranks in Skill(writing squick) soon enough.
-
2009-08-22, 06:23 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2009
- Location
- you might be an assassin!
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
er, right after i find out who this "Web-in-ar" is. then i can write about him appropriatly.
-
2009-08-22, 07:40 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2009
- Location
- you might be an assassin!
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
ok i dont have a description on webinar and i dont think i have the brain power to sort through all the comics because my partent are probably waking up so i will be sufferin mental anxiety for a few hours and i am really really tired. the cliffport chief and IFCC will be easy i got the first part down in my head... *remembers the story* excuse me i must now bleach my brain. *bleach* ACIDIC BURNING IN MY SKULL!!!! ok now that the memories have been staved off momentarily, i must say that i will be re-introducing an odd detail from comic, oh lets see *looks through comic archives* oh it was so far back in 188! the one detail there in that comic that was squick worthy. imust now re-bleach my brain *bleach* BURNING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Goodbye Everybody! expect a story soon! after a good days sleep. i'm nocturnal, you know.
-
2009-08-22, 07:48 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2009
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
Darnit, someone else snatched up Therkla/Nale. I shouldn't have waited until I'd come up with something to write. Do you mind if I give it a shot, too? (Though actually, my idea has sort of devolved into Therkla/most of the Linear Guild...)
-
2009-08-22, 08:00 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
A few comics, these are mainly aimed at Magic Man (I'd usually quote the text I'm answering, but you posted so many times, and I'm far too lazy)
Sir Webinar is from Erfworld. And no, that story isn't too bad. And good readers usually make good writers.
And please note the edit button, I think that there's rules against double posting (I haven't checked in awhile though...)It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.
If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).
The best answer is always to ask your DM.
Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.
-
2009-08-22, 09:00 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2008
- Location
- Germany.
- Gender
-
2009-08-22, 10:10 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
- Location
- Louisville, KY
- Gender
-
2009-08-22, 11:31 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2009
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
Not at all! I'd like to read it.
Chapter One:
SpoilerShe had been drifting in the clouds, awaiting her judgement, when she heard it. The voice of a cleric, chanting a Resurrection. She shook her head, refusing to answer the tug on her soul, when another voice chimed in. "What's wrong? Why isn't it working?" She knew that voice, and she turned suddenly, running to answer the call of what could only be her beloved.
***
The Linear Guild was not having a good time of it. After escaping from prison, they had realized that they were horribly lost. All three had taken turns at trying some tracking, but they had gotten more and more off track, until at last they found themselves picking up some cleric outside of Greysky City. Nale had taken him on probation; he still hadn't given up on the "Evil Opposite" theme, but the parallel was decidedly weak. They'd set sail in the opposite direction, and washed up on some sort of orcish island that was at least a bit closer to the Western Continent, but not by much. The cleric had found the grave of what had to be a powerful warrior, based on the headstone, and Nale had "encouraged" him to resurrect it. But even that hadn't paid off: based on the body that was reforming it was just an orc chick.
She seemed dazed at first, as she readjusted to life, and Nale noticed that she was very athletic and quite fetching. She blushed in embarrassment when she came to more fully, and the old cleric, out of pity, tossed her a robe. Nale rolled his eyes, but didn't object. The girl seemed confused, she was struggling with something.
***
Therkla opened her eyes to see what had to be Elan standing over her, though it seemed that he'd grown a beard. How long had she been dead for, and where were the dwarf and the elf. "Elan," she asked, confused. "Is that you?"
The man frowned at her. "How do you know my brother?" he ordered suspiciously.
"Brother? You two have to be -"
"Twins, yes, I know. Now answer my question, girl. What was your relation to him? Are you a fallen ally of some sort?" Her blush told him all he needed to know. "I see. So you're some discarded lover of his, I suppose. Hmm..." He smiled; unlike Elan's, there was an evil, though attractive, twist to it. "How would you feel about a little revenge. I am the leader of the Linear Guild" - he motioned to two others she hadn't noticed before - "and it is our mission to seek out and destroy my worthless brother and foolish allies."
Therkla was not paying attention; her heart sank when she saw the beautiful girl who was standing behind him. There was no way she wasn't his girlfriend. She had just gone from a bad situation from a worse one. "No," she said aloud. "I can't... that would be betraying Elan." But inside, her heart rebeled at abandoning the man that looked so much like the one she loved.
And because this is so much fun, here's Chapter Two, where Sabine decides to participate a bit.
SpoilerDespite her refusal, Therkla hadn't been able to leave. For one, she didn't have anywhere to go; for another, she wasn't sure she wanted to. She knew she could never be with Nale, but she still didn't want to leave him. The other girl came over, sitting beside her. She was so gorgeous even Therkla couldn't help feeling it. Sabine smiled coyly, and stretched.
Suddenly, she was transformed; batlike wings sprung from her back, her eyes glowed red, and she sprouted a tale. Therkla jumped. "Are you some kind of devil?" she asked nervously.
"I'm a succubus - shapeshifter, energy drainer, and incarnation of lust," Sabine winked, and edged closer. "But that's not the point. Nale wanted me to talk to you about the team. He'd really like it if you joined."
"But, I promised Elan... I quit evil."
"Say what you will about it, I don't care. But, really Nale is much more of a man, don't you think? And being a member of the Linear Guild carries some... fringe benefits." She was uncomfortably close now, and Therkla felt the suggestive nudge of what could only be a forked tail. A sudden realization hit her.
"You - you're hitting on me!"
"Took you long enough, honey. C'mon, I'm up for anything. Nale's a great man, but sometimes, he can be such a prude..."
"I am very sorry but I do not have such feelings towards wom-"
"Okay, I get it. Too bad, but it's your loss." Sabine stood up, as if she was about to leave. "I mean, Nale does think you're hot, and I'm up for it. You could see your 'beloved', get a few hits against that slutty girlfriend of his... but you don't have to if you don't want to."
She bent over, her full lips uncomfortably close to Therkla's blunt, orcish ear. "And when I say I'm a shapeshifter, I mean it. You want it - or him - I've got it. I could be anyone... even that drippy brother of Nale's." She left on that note, and Therkla was glad for it. Her agile imagination had already set to work, and she wasn't sure what to do.
What do you guys think?
-
2009-08-22, 04:10 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2009
- Location
- you might be an assassin!
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
i feel rested after a good days rest and- wait there are rules about posting after you already posted? i never knew that. and i knew webinar was an erfworld character but i didnt really know what role he played or what he looked like. i didnt get that far in the comic. but i wont be on posts long today. i've read everything here. every sick, disgusting thing that has crawled out of your minds and into your computers. i'll be on youtube.
-
2009-08-22, 06:13 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2009
- Location
- you might be an assassin!
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
and might i say that the Vaarsuvius and Zz'dtri matchup was the cutest thing i have ever read? if the Giant would let Zanaril, that story would make millions. zanaril, i am serious. just one thing i think needs toughing up. near the end of the story insofar, V isn't really ... her/himself. WARNING:the things behind the spoiler are my thoughts on the V&Z&Ink thing. not for people under age 13. please dont ban me.
Spoilermaybe this is a reaction from V finally getting laid. or some lack on the writers part. i will go with V finally getting laid. i mean seriously. it was so long since last time. V and her/his mate had sex, and waas instantly impregnated, V probably couldnt have intercourse because her mate couldnt. since they age slower, the kids might have been in the womb for maybe 9 years. yikes. and then V went off to search for "ultimate srcane power" whatever that meant
and upon returning V was, well i think you've all read the comic. she was forced away by his/her own mate, she was disgruntled. over 30 years without sex tends to make a spellcaster very tense. ha ha ha.
-
2009-08-22, 08:04 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2007
- Location
- Northeast USA
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
I apologize for having not read the entire thread but... Is this thread only for stories, or is OotS-style art welcome too (provided it's a ridiculous pairing)? If not, I can just head over to the House of Horrors, but figured I'd ask...
-
2009-08-22, 08:10 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2007
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
Last edited by Lira; 2009-08-22 at 08:11 PM.
Credits to half-halfling for my adorable avatar.
...............................................
Come visit the Discussion Thread Index II.
Looking for a new webcomic to read? Take a look at the Webcomic List.