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Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It
Hello, and welcome to the fourth Crack Pairings thread. If you haven't read the previous ones yet, you can do so here, here, and here.
Or, if you don't wish to read through all 149 pages, here's the short version: we have a roller and some tables. You roll a pairing, and maybe a plot device, then you write it, draw it, act it out, interpretive dance it, whatever! Apparently we like this sort of thing.
Please remember to keep it clean, folks! The board rules still apply!
When posting a pairing, please at least try to do something with it. We like it when people try!
New: Sure, we won't be winning any Oscars or anything, but that doesn't mean we can't have our own little awards.
Should you wish to roll a pairing, Sgeo coded up a roller for us. If you want that personal touch, go roll on the tables, or make up your own pairing!
Banners!
Spoiler
Show
Image hosting sites only allow pictures to get a small amount of bandwidth. If you could, please upload banners to an account of your own to not use as much bandwidth for our talented artists, 'less all the beautiful banners disappear.
Text:
http://i920.photobucket.com/albums/a...bannermain.png
Zanaril's
Funky Goose's
Discord's
Saeyan
rangermania
Trixie
MReav
Kaytara
half-halfling
Tables!
Of course, feel free to make up your own pairings!
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Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It
Crack Pairings Story Index
Stories by Asta Kask
Stories by badam104172
Stories by baf
Stories by BatRobin
Stories by Belkster11
Stories by The Blackbird
Stories by TheBibliophile
Stories by CheeseMuncher
Stories by Cire II
Stories by ClericOfBelker
Stories by Closak
Stories by CoffeeIncluded
Stories by Cracklord
Stories by CurlyKitGirl
Stories by Dak Frostwrath
Stories by The Dark Fiddler
Stories by DarkElfGangsta
Stories by Dark_Stryke
Stories by Discord
Stories by doliest
Stories by Dra-Goon
Stories by Dr.Gunsforhands
Stories by Elan's Modron
Stories by Elvenblade
Stories by esmerelder
Stories by Expeditious
Stories by Forevernade
Stories by Gimliggamer
Stories by golentan
Stories by Hijax
Stories by Introbulus
Stories by jogiff
Stories by Kaytara
Stories by Kill Screen
Stories by Kirby
Stories by Kitteh
Stories by Kobold-Bard
Stories by Kraggi
Stories by Kyronea
Stories by Lawyergoblin
Stories by lindorm
Stories by Lollie
Stories by Lycan 01
Stories by MagicianMan5
Stories by Malkar Grumbo
Stories by MasamuneSSX
Stories by Metalhead
Stories by mizzim
Stories by Monzach
Stories by Moofin Bard
Stories by Moon_Called
Stories by MReav
Stories by Mr. Cales
Stories by NamonakiRei
Stories by Nathander
Stories by NemoUtopia
Stories by Nerdanel
Stories by The Odor
Stories by Omergideon
Stories by Pid6
Stories by pnewman
Stories by PsychoPat
Stories by Ronnoc
Stories by RPGAgmJAY
Stories by Saeyan
Stories by SaintRidley
Stories by Sequinox
Stories by Sereg
Stories by Sewblon
Stories by ShinyDelusion
Stories by Silverraptor
Stories by Somniloquist
Stories by Sstoopidtallkid
Stories by Taekwondodo
Stories by Tatterdemalion
Stories by Thor Person Guy
Stories by Tira-chan
Stories by TooManySecrets
Stories by TSED
Stories by waterpenguin43
Stories by Water-Smurf
In the Arms of Morpheus
Icelus
Curse of Phobetor
Tragedy of Hypnos
Pasithea's Messenger
In Vino Veritas
Acta Non Verba
Pawns of the Gods
Stories by Weimann
Stories by WhereamI?
Stories by Xesirin
Stories by yubel
Stories by Zanaril
Stories by Zen_Heart
Stories by Ziren
Stories by Zolkabro
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Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It
Crack Pairings Art Compilation
A compilation of the art made specifically for the Crack Pairings Thread.
Spoiler
Show
Art by BatRobin
Art by Belkster11
Art by CheeseMuncher
Art by CoffeeIncluded
Art by Delorges
Art by Discord
Art by Expeditious
Art by Funky Goose
Art by half-halfling
http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/x...lfling/rys.jpg
Vaarsuvius and V's personifications of femininity and masculinity.
http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/x...fling/rys2.png
Vaarsuvius, Inkyrius, their children and the soul splice.
http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/x...ing/rys2-1.png
Tsukiko and Jirix.
http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/x...alfling/V3.png
Haley and Vaarsuvius.
http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/x...g/Untitled.png
MiTD and Tsukiko.
http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/x...Untitled-1.png
Child of Redcloak and Vaarsuvius.
http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/x...g/Beztytuu.png
Inkyrius and Vaarsuvius.
http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/x...Beztytuu-1.png
Vaarsuvius' Parent and young Vaarsuvius.
http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/x...Untitled-2.png
Inkyrius and Vaarsuvius.
http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/x...ling/rys-1.png
Vaarsuvius and Redcloak.
http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/x...Untitled-4.png
Tiasal and Terentius.
http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/x...ng/KAYTARA.png
Jirix, Tsukiko, Redcloak, Celia, Belkar, Roy, Haley, Vaarsuvius, Inkyrius and their children, wishing Kaytara a happy birthday.
http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/x...alfling/c5.png
Tiasal, Tsukiko, and Xykon.
http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/x...ing/PNSAPD.png
Plushie Dragon Vaarsuvius.
http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/x...lfling/ch1.png
Aarindarius, Vaarsuvius, Inkyrius and their children.
http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/x...arindarius.png
Aarindarius.
http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/x...lfling/MxR.png
Roy and Miko.
http://i750.photobucket.com/albums/x...lfling/TxM.png
Therkla and Miko.
Art by Kaytara
Art by Kirby
Art by The Neoclassic
Art by Saeyan
Art by Tira-chan
Art by TooManySecrets
Art by Trixie
Art by Zanaril
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Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It
*takes a deep breath*
Aah, there's nothing like the smell of a new thread.
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Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It
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Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It
*Groans* Aargh, I go to the bathroom and it's already posted...
In any case, can anyone pass me the grape juice?
And shameless advertising ahoy; I started an OOTS-style webcomic called Murphy's Law. Check it out: Link
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Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Zanaril
*takes a deep breath*
Aah, there's nothing like the smell of a new thread.
Indeed...
Now that this is done, I'd like to ask again if anybody'd be up to drawing a banner for the runner up in the contest, and if anybody would like to be a judge (obviously, you can't enter then).
I'm off to play Nethack now.
I will get past level 2, I swear it!
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Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It
Quote:
Originally Posted by
The Dark Fiddler
Now that this is done, I'd like to ask again if anybody'd be up to drawing a banner for the runner up in the contest, and if anybody would like to be a judge (obviously, you can't enter then).
I'm up for being a judge!
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Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It
Did Cracklord ever finish that crack pairing I asked for?
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Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It
Mmm. We've outgrown many of our fellow forum legends.
And I'm severely hung over. (I've gotta stop drinking at the end of the threads...)
...
Zanaril, what did you put in there? I feel funny...
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Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Water-Smurf
Mmm. We've outgrown many of our fellow forum legends.
And I'm severely hung over. (I've gotta stop drinking at the end of the threads...)
...
Zanaril, what did you put in there? I feel funny...
Yes, yes we have. And no sign of stopping, either!
I'm so proud!
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Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Water-Smurf
Zanaril, what did you put in there? I feel funny...
Just a little something I bought from a back-alley alchemist last time I was in Greysky City. :smallwink:
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Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Zanaril
Just a little something I bought from a back-alley alchemist last time I was in Greysky City. :smallwink:
You're evil, Zanaril. Love is not an emotion to be toyed with.
Except when we write fics about it.
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Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It
New thread, goodie goodie.
We revolve in infamy. :smallcool:
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Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It
Quote:
Originally Posted by
BatRobin
New thread, goodie goodie.
We [s]revolve[s] revel in infamy. :smallcool:
That's thread 5, BatRobin. You're a bit ahead of the curve.
Don't worry, you're not that far ahead. Only another 49 pages or so to go.
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Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It
I have nothing inherently useful to say.
...
...
...
...
YAY FOR THREAD FOUR!
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Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It
V x Julio Scoundrel
Spoiler
Show
"Well, hello."
Vaarsuvius looked up sharply, her attention straying from the last half inch of beer in her glass and focusing dimly on the human that had just sat down at the bar. "I do not believe I know you."
He chuckled, and gave a mock bow. "Nor I you. What is a lovely... elf like you doing in these parts?" He gestured around the small tavern.
"That is none of your concern." Vaarsuvius relied moodily, draining the last of the beer. "Bartender, I require a refilling of my beverage." The elf dug around in a robe pocket for a handful of coins, but the human go there first.
"Let me buy that for you." He said, and his even and very white teeth bared in a dazzling smile as he placed a few coppers on the bar. Vaarsuvius observed him coldly.
"I am quite capable of paying for my own drinks. Please leave me alone."
“Ah, but a pretty-“ he paused, then took a gamble “…lady like yourself shouldn’t have to be alone.” He winked. “And that’s where I come in.”
Vaarsuvius leant away from the man, a slight pinkish tinge creeping across her face. But her expression was pure ice. “I will repeat this once more, and only once more: leave me alone.”
Julio Scoundrel sat back and watched the elf, seeming unconcerned by the rebuttal. The elf’s blush darkened a bit, and she hurriedly looked down, scowling into her drink. Julio merely smirked and tugged absent mindedly at his mustache.
“You seem upset about something. Penny for your thoughts?”
“I have already expressed my desire to be left alone. I do not wish to talk to you, human!” The elf stood up, meaning to storm out angrily, but the evenings drinking caught up with the elf and she stumbled, reaching out to grab the bar for support. Instead a firm hand caught her arm. She glared at the human, who simply stepped away and sat back down. The elf took a deep breath, trying to clear the alcohol-fuelled haze.
“Please stay. I simply wish for someone to talk to, and you appeared to be the most intelligible companion available.”
Warily, the elf sat back down, still frowning at the human. “That did not appear your intent when you first addressed me.”
He gave a light laugh, a pleasant sound which made the elf’s ears twitch. He was rather good-looking, she had to admit. He was handsome with a youthful face, but there were the tell-tale signs of age creeping up too; the elf’s sharp eyes picked out a few lighter strands of hair against the black, noted the faint lines at the corners of his eyes. The facial hair was rather off-putting, but then that was just one more aspect of humans the elf had never understood.
“Like what you see?”
The elf jumped “No, I… if you are going to be like that I will leave.”
“Apologies madam. It is simply a bad habit of mine to be so forward when talking to females.”
“That is evident.” The elf muttered, reluctantly picking up the glass of beer and taking a sip.
“So tell me, why is an elf such as yourself drinking in a back-street bar of a airship port?”
“I believe you already asked me that.”
“And I believe you didn’t answer.” He said, leaning forward on his elbows.
The elf sighed. “I am here following rumors of a potential source of arcane knowledge. It is nothing that would interest your type.”
“My ‘type’?”
“Those who bluff their way through life on a high Charisma, rather than utilizing logic and knowledge to make decisions.” The elf snapped.
“Hmm, that’s a pretty big accusation to make about someone you don’t know.” He tugged his mustache thoughtfully. “You think I’m, charismatic?”
“You are well aware of the fact, and undoubtedly use it to your benefit.”
He laughed. “Well, maybe I do. Although it doesn’t seem to be working for me recently.”
“I know what you want, and you would be better served looking elsewhere. Go and talk to someone else. Maybe someone with a higher Charisma score.”
Leaning further towards the elf, he rested a hand on his chin. “Why?”
The elf leant forward too, eyes burning. “Because you are obviously not really attracted to me! You are simply amusing yourself at my expense!”
The airship captain looked genuinely surprised. “I am not. You have already shown yourself to be intelligent and independent, both of which are traits I value highly. And besides, you belittle yourself; I do think you are pretty.”
“I doubt it.”
Without hesitation, the airship captain moved forward and kissed Vaarsuvius squarely on the lips. The elf’s eyes widened, but there was a moment’s pause before she pushed him away, breathing heavily.
“Why did you do that?” The elf hissed, but the tone was more curious than angry.
“You want me.”
Vaarsuvius looked away irritably, the blush now reaching the tips of her ears. “Maybe. What of it?”
Julio raised an eyebrow. “Why are you so opposed to the idea? We’re both adults capable of making our own decisions.”
“And if I decided I did want to?”
He slipped an arm around her waist and kissed her again, and this time she didn’t push him away but cautiously leant into the kiss.
“I have a room rented at-“ He started, but she cut him off.
“I do too. I would prefer to go there.”
He inclined his head, mouth twitching into a smile. “On your terms then.”
They kissed again, more deeply and more desperately, and then while they still had control of their actions they walked out of the bar hand in hand.
*yawn* Tired. Going to bed now.
I might look at this on the other side of the morning and decide I hate it, but that's the way things go.
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Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Zanaril
I might look at this on the other side of the morning and decide I hate it, but that's the way things go.
I enjoyed it, if that means anything.
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Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Zanaril
Just a little something I bought from a back-alley alchemist last time I was in Greysky City. :smallwink:
Well, I know for a fact that Water Smurf's condition will only last a few more hours. *hides recently acquired bag of coins behind back*:smalltongue:
Hooray for the new thread!!!:smallbiggrin:
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Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It
Woo, new thread! :smallbiggrin:
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Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It
Quote:
Originally Posted by
The Dark Fiddler
That's thread 5, BatRobin. You're a bit ahead of the curve.
Don't worry, you're not that far ahead. Only another 49 pages or so to go.
Just making sure someone remembered. XD
:smallcool: YEAAAAAHHHHHHH
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Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Zanaril
V x
Julio Scoundrel
Spoiler
Show
"Well, hello."
Vaarsuvius looked up sharply, her attention straying from the last half inch of beer in her glass and focusing dimly on the human that had just sat down at the bar. "I do not believe I know you."
He chuckled, and gave a mock bow. "Nor I you. What is a lovely... elf like you doing in these parts?" He gestured around the small tavern.
"That is none of your concern." Vaarsuvius relied moodily, draining the last of the beer. "Bartender, I require a refilling of my beverage." The elf dug around in a robe pocket for a handful of coins, but the human go there first.
"Let me buy that for you." He said, and his even and very white teeth bared in dazzling smile as he placed a few coppers on the bar. Vaarsuvius observed him coldly.
"I am quite capable of paying for my own drinks. Please leave me alone."
“Ah, but a pretty-“ he paused, then took a gamble “…lady like yourself shouldn’t have to be alone.” He winked. “And that’s where I come in.”
Vaarsuvius leant away from the man, a slight pinkish tinge creeping across her face. But her expression was pure ice. “I will repeat this once more, and only once more: leave me alone.”
Julio Scoundrel simply sat back and watched the elf, seeming unconcerned by the rebuttal. The elf’s blush darkened a bit, and she hurriedly looked down, scowling into her drink. Julio merely smirked and tugged absent mindedly at his mustache.
“You seem upset about something. Penny for your thoughts?”
“I have already expressed my desire to be left alone. I do not wish to talk to you, human!” The elf stood up, meaning to storm out angrily, but the evenings drinking caught up with the elf and she stumbled, reaching out to grab the bar for support. Instead a firm hand caught her arm. She glared at the human, who simply stepped away and sat back down. The elf took a deep breath, trying to clear the alcohol-fuelled haze.
“Please stay. I simply wish for someone to talk to, and you appeared to be the most intelligible companion available.”
Warily, the elf sat back down, still frowning at the human. “That did not appear your intent when you first addressed me.”
He gave a light laugh, a pleasant sound which made the elf’s ears twitch. He was rather good-looking, she had to admit. He was handsome with a youthful face, but there were the tell-tale signs of age creeping up too; the elf’s sharp eyes picked out a few lighter strands of hair against the black, noted the faint lines at the corners of his eyes. The facial hair was rather off-putting, but then that was just one more aspect of humans the elf had never understood.
“Like what you see?”
The elf jumped “No, I… if you are going to be like that I will leave.”
“Apologies madam. It is simply a bad habit of mine to be so forward when talking to females.”
“That is evident.” The elf muttered, reluctantly picking up the glass of beer and taking a sip.
“So tell me, why is an elf such as yourself drinking in a back-street bar of a airship port?”
“I believe you already asked me that.”
“And I believe you didn’t answer.” He said, leaning forward on his elbows.
The elf sighed. “I am here following rumors of a potential source of arcane knowledge. It is nothing that would interest your type.”
“My ‘type’?”
“Those who bluff their way through life on a high Charisma, rather than utilizing logic and knowledge to make decisions.” The elf snapped.
“Hmm, that’s a pretty big accusation to make about someone you don’t know.” He tugged his mustache thoughtfully. “You think I’m, charismatic?”
“You are well aware of the fact, and undoubtedly use it to your benefit.”
He laughed. “Well, maybe I do. Although it doesn’t seem to be working for me recently.”
“I know what you want, and you would be better served looking elsewhere. Go and talk to someone else. Maybe someone with a higher Charisma score.”
Leaning further towards the elf, he rested a hand on his chin. “Why?”
The elf leant forward too, eyes burning. “Because you are obviously not really attracted to me! You are simply amusing yourself at my expense!”
The airship captain looked genuinely surprised. “I am not. You have already shown yourself to be intelligent and independent, both of which are traits I value highly. And besides, you belittle yourself; I do think you are pretty.”
“I doubt it.”
Without hesitation, the airship captain moved forward and kissed Vaarsuvius squarely on the lips. The elf’s eyes widened, but there was a moment’s pause before she pushed him away, breathing heavily. “Why did you do that?” The elf exclaimed, but the tone was more curious than angry.
“You want me.”
Vaarsuvius looked away irritably, the blush now reaching the tips of her ears. “Maybe. What of it?”
Julio raised an eyebrow. “Why are you so opposed to the idea? We’re both adults capable of making our own decisions.”
“And if I decided I did want to?”
He slipped an arm around her waist and kissed her again, and this time she didn’t push him away but cautiously leant into the kiss.
“I have a room rented at-“ He started, but she cut him off.
“I do too. I would prefer to go there.”
He inclined his head, mouth twitching into a smile. “On your terms then.”
They kissed again, more deeply and more desperately, and then while they still had control of their actions they walked out of the bar hand in hand.
*yawn* Tired. Going to bed now.
I might look at this on the other side of the morning and decide I hate it, but that's the way things go.
*douses brain in bleach*
*and Pikachu Blood*
Pikachu Blood is more effective.
Ohcrud, double post. Sorry. :smalleek:
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Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It
Quote:
Originally Posted by
mizzim
tiasAl, and sounds good. *writes up fic*
Spoiler
Show
"Wuhh? Wha' happened?" Water-smurf was just waking up, and she had a severe hangover. She noticed a green blob in the corner of her over-blurry vision. "Huhh? Who's ther? who're yu? U look fumiliur..." she trailed off. even in her state, she could recognize the purple hair and light green skin of one of her favorite characters. "Tiusal? Izzat you? I thoug tha you were mayd up."
"Who are you?" Tiasal asked. "what are you doing her-" she was cut off as a potion popped out of the wall and promptly forced itself down her throat. A belt also popped out of the wall and clipped around her waist. there was a flash of light, and she changed genders. He looked at Water-smurf differently. "Would you like to make out?" He asked.
"Sure."
--------
Nine months later, Water-smurf had gained a lot of weight. She didn't know why, but one morning, she woke up, and there was a strange, purple-haired, tusked, creature, with green-blue skin and a white hat, on her bed. She screamed.
do you like it? I'll post it in the new thread too.
*Loves how people continue to post in the old thread, even after the new thread is here*
I don't think you portrayed Water-smurf accurately. Even under the effects of a love potion, I doubt she'd do that.
Also, Tiasal probably wouldn't either, but who knows.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
BatRobin
Pikachu Blood is more effective.
You could say it's.... :smallcool:
SUPER EFFECTIVE
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH
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Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It
Quote:
Originally Posted by
The Dark Fiddler
*Loves how people continue to post in the old thread, even after the new thread is here*
I don't think you portrayed Water-smurf accurately. Even under the effects of a love potion, I doubt she'd do that.
Also, Tiasal probably wouldn't either, but who knows.
well, I wasn't quite sure how to portray either of them. Water-smurf was drunk, so I did my best with what I think that she would act like, but Tiasal? I was just going blindly.
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Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It
Quote:
Originally Posted by
The Dark Fiddler
You could say it's.... :smallcool:
SUPER EFFECTIVE
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH
I wondered how fast someone would post this.
And I'm immensely disappointed I wasn't able to do it first.
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Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It
I'm stuck with my nale x Julia. anyone got any tips to kamehmeha this writer's block? I got most of it figured out, I need a plot device better then what I have...(julia seducing nale to go free...)
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Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It
Quote:
Originally Posted by
DarkElfGangsta
I'm stuck with my nale x Julia. anyone got any tips to kamehmeha this writer's block? I got most of it figured out, I need a plot device better then what I have...(julia seducing nale to go free...)
Julia seducing Nale to go free, then when they're finished with their first torrid tangle, she goes back for seconds. With a whip.
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Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It
Wow. A new thread already. We're now offically ahead of the OOTS fanservice in the art-thread. Now all we need to do is beat the non-OOTS fanservice thread comibined and we are really in great shape!:smallbiggrin:
By the way, I think their needs to be a better organizing index system, Lira. Maybe put it in sections based on artists names and put them in spoilers like:
A-F
Spoiler
Show
You get the idea.
G-L
Spoiler
Show
And so on, and so forth
M-R
Spoiler
Show
Why can't I stop this?:smallconfused:
S-Z
Spoiler
Show
Help!:smalleek: I'm being forced to continue against my will! Oh wait... I'm at the end of the alphabet. *Whew*
1-9
Spoiler
Show
Oh You've *GOT* To Be Kidding Me!!!!!!:smallfurious:
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Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It
Aah, I love the smell of a new thread in the morning. Smells like...victory. :smallcool:
I loved the VxJulio story. Julio Scoundrél was, to me, really depicted as the kind of smarmy guy that he should be seen as. :smallbiggrin:
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Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It
At least I get in on the first page.
But aww, nobody missed me :smallfrown: /snif
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Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Silverraptor
Wow. A new thread already. We're now offically ahead of the OOTS fanservice in the art-thread. Now all we need to do is beat the non-OOTS fanservice thread comibined and we are really in great shape!:smallbiggrin:
Hooray!!! *hold up cider glass* Cheers!:smallbiggrin:
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Silverraptor
A-F
Spoiler
Show
You get the idea.
G-L
Spoiler
Show
And so on, and so forth
M-R
Spoiler
Show
Why can't I stop this?:smallconfused:
S-Z
Spoiler
Show
Help!:smalleek: I'm being forced to continue against my will! Oh wait... I'm at the end of the alphabet. *Whew*
1-9
Spoiler
Show
Oh You've *GOT* To Be Kidding Me!!!!!!:smallfurious:
Umm...you forgot numbers 10 to 100 (in groups of ten:smalltongue:)
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Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It
Quote:
Originally Posted by
BatRobin
*douses brain in bleach*
You really needed the brain bleach after that? :smallconfused:
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Saeyan
But aww, nobody missed me :smallfrown: /snif
I missed you!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Aaron
Umm...you forgot numbers 10 to 100 (in groups of ten:smalltongue:)
I'ts only the first digit that counts. :smallwink:
Except when you're teasing Silverraptor...
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Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It
Damn! I had hoped to have my story finished by the time the new thread was up but my plot bunny has grown tentacles and taken to attacking ships (plot kraken?). It should be finished soon but then again I have to read it through and type it up and I know there will be bits I want to change so don't hold your breath.
Nice story Zanaril, both were in character vocally but I don't see V as someone who would get drunk.
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Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It
I think I'll give this a try,
So... Miko, Durkon and they are snowed in OK
Spoiler
Show
Searching for Girard's gate Durkon began reminiscing on the past, specifically a night a year before meeting with Roy and starting the order of the stick...
------------------------------
He had just been exiled from the dwarven lands and was travelling the mountains aimlessly when he saw a young woman fighting ten goblins, he ran to her aid with all the speed his short legs could muster.
Together they easily bested them. They exchanged greetings, "I'm Durkon Thundershield cleric of the god Thor," Durkon said. "It is good to meet you Durkon Thundershield I am Miko Miyazaki, samurai of th-"
A loud rumble in the distance cut her words short. The battle had started a huge avalanche that was surging down the mountain.
"Run", Durkon said, they barely made it to an adjacent cave when the snow hit them.
The cave had a small fire and some crude, sleeping pallets, Durkon thought it may have been the goblins den.
"This will have to do until help reaches us. Hopefully that will not take too long"
"Och tha may take weeks, 'f ever. t’mrow’ll start digging us out. I’m too tired now."
"Very well I will assist you in the morning,"
So they set about getting a meal prepared and devouring it, after that just sat staring into the fire, lost in their own.
Miko suddenly spoke up," You where very heroic coming to my rescue, and also very dashing."
"Wha, I'm sorry but I'm nah attracted to humans in tha way."
Miko began to try to explain herself, tripping over words in her haste, cursing her low charisma at the same time. Durkon swiftly calmed her and they went to there separate pallets. There was silence in the cave until Durkon broke," Wha I jus' said may nah have been true."
"I'm sorry what did you say?"
Durkon answered her with a kiss.
----------------------------------
The next day they set about cleaning away the snow, and that night they whispered sweet nothings into each other’s ear.
The days passed like this, for eight days. The eight happiest days of both their lives and as they walked away from each other for what they believed to be the last time Miko wiped a single tear from her cheek.
---------------------------------
Durkon shuck himself out of his reminiscing, muttering to himself how there was no sense wallowing in the past.
What do people think?
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Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Cire II
I think I'll give this a try,
So... Miko, Durkon and they are snowed in OK
Spoiler
Show
Searching for Girard's gate Durkon began reminising on the past, specificaly a night a year before meating with Roy and starting the order of the stick...
------------------------------
He had just been exiled from the dwarven lands and was traveleing the mountains aimlessley when he saw a young woman fighting ten goblins, he ran two her aid with all the speed his short legs could muster.
Together they easily bested them. They exchanged greetings, "I'm Durkon Thundershield cleric of the god Thor," Durkon said. "I't is good to meet you Durkon Thundershield I am Miko Miyazaki, sammrai of th-"
A loud rumble in the distance cut her words short. The battle had started a huge avalanche that was surging down the mountain.
"Run", Durkon said, they barley made it to an adjacent cave when the snow hit them.
The cave had a small fire and some crude, sleeping palletes, Durkon thought it may have been the goblins den.
"This will have to do until help reaches us.Hopefully that will not take too long"
"Och tha may take weeks, 'f ever. t'mrow 'll start digging us out.I'm too tired now."
"Very well I will assist you in the morning,"
So they set about getting a meal prepared and devouring it, after that just sat stareing into the fire, lost in there own.
Miko suddenley spoke up," You where very heroic comeing to my rescue, and also very dashing."
"Wha, I'm sorry but I'm nah atracted to humans in tha way."
Miko began to try to explain herself, tripping over words in her haste, curseing her low charisma at the same time. Durkon swiftly calmed her and they whent to there seperate palletes. There was silence in the cave until Durkon broke," Wha I jus' said may nah have been true."
"I'm sorry what did you say?"
Durkon awnserd her with a kiss.
----------------------------------
The next day they set about cleaning away the snow, and that nigt they whisperd sweet nothings into each others ear.
The days passed like this, for eight days. The eight happiest days of both there lives and as they walked away from each other for what they belived to be the last time Miko wiped a single tear from her cheek.
---------------------------------
Durkon shuck himself out of his remminisings, mutering to himself how there was no sense wallowing in the past.
What do people think?
It was OK but a spell checking program will probably serve you well in any future writing projects.
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Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Taekwondodo
It was OK but a spell checking program will probably serve you well in any future writing projects.
Yeh I didn't realy look over it and just made it up as I whent along. I will probably go over it again and fix any mistakes.I have fixed them.:smallbiggrin:
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Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It
Actually, now I'm not distracted by bad spelling (:smallbiggrin:) it's really very good! Quite sweet.
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Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It
Thank you that means a lot, realy.
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Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Zanaril
I'ts only the first digit that counts. :smallwink:
Except when you're teasing Silverraptor...
Hmm,in that case... numbers 10 to 1000 :smallamused:(also, in groups of ten:smalltongue:)
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Cire II
I think I'll give this a try,
So... Miko, Durkon and they are snowed in OK
Spoiler
Show
Searching for Girard's gate Durkon began reminiscing on the past, specifically a night a year before meeting with Roy and starting the order of the stick...
------------------------------
He had just been exiled from the dwarven lands and was travelling the mountains aimlessly when he saw a young woman fighting ten goblins, he ran to her aid with all the speed his short legs could muster.
Together they easily bested them. They exchanged greetings, "I'm Durkon Thundershield cleric of the god Thor," Durkon said. "It is good to meet you Durkon Thundershield I am Miko Miyazaki, samurai of th-"
A loud rumble in the distance cut her words short. The battle had started a huge avalanche that was surging down the mountain.
"Run", Durkon said, they barely made it to an adjacent cave when the snow hit them.
The cave had a small fire and some crude, sleeping pallets, Durkon thought it may have been the goblins den.
"This will have to do until help reaches us. Hopefully that will not take too long"
"Och tha may take weeks, 'f ever. t’mrow’ll start digging us out. I’m too tired now."
"Very well I will assist you in the morning,"
So they set about getting a meal prepared and devouring it, after that just sat staring into the fire, lost in their own.
Miko suddenly spoke up," You where very heroic coming to my rescue, and also very dashing."
"Wha, I'm sorry but I'm nah attracted to humans in tha way."
Miko began to try to explain herself, tripping over words in her haste, cursing her low charisma at the same time. Durkon swiftly calmed her and they went to there separate pallets. There was silence in the cave until Durkon broke," Wha I jus' said may nah have been true."
"I'm sorry what did you say?"
Durkon answered her with a kiss.
----------------------------------
The next day they set about cleaning away the snow, and that night they whispered sweet nothings into each other’s ear.
The days passed like this, for eight days. The eight happiest days of both their lives and as they walked away from each other for what they believed to be the last time Miko wiped a single tear from her cheek.
---------------------------------
Durkon shuck himself out of his reminiscing, muttering to himself how there was no sense wallowing in the past.
What do people think?
It's great. Too bad they would forget about it:smallwink:.
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Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It
Maybe I could add some more of Durkons "memories", later.:smallbiggrin:
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Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Taekwondodo
Nice story Zanaril, both were in character vocally but I don't see V as someone who would get drunk.
Not drunk. Marginally intoxicated as to impair motor function.
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Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It
WOOT! New thread!
Spoiler
Show
Bottle of Brain Bleach 10 GP
Bottle of P. Blood 25 GP
Love Potion 100 GP
Making a pairing with Watersmurf Priceless
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Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Aaron
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Zanaril
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Aaron
Umm...you forgot numbers 10 to 100 (in groups of ten:smalltongue:)
I'ts only the first digit that counts. :smallwink:
Except when you're teasing Silverraptor...
Hmm,in that case... numbers 10 to
1000 :smallamused:(also, in groups of ten:smalltongue:)
...
...
...
...
..Both of you, start running.
*Pulls out blood-soaked knives*
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Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Silverraptor
...
...
...
...
..Both of you, start running.
*Pulls out blood-soaked knives*
See, what most intrigues me about this is that the knives were already blood-soaked.
Just what have you been doing?
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Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Silverraptor
...
...
...
...
..Both of you, start running.
*Pulls out blood-soaked knives*
:smalleek:*Starts running and casts Freedom of Movement*
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Kyronea
See, what most intrigues me about this is that the knives were already blood-soaked.
Just what have you been doing?
...*skids to a short stop* wait:smallconfused:...what?!:smalleek: *casts air walk, and air runs away*
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Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It
almost done! but i want to have thog come in right at the end and do something silly, like barging in dressed as cloud and singing grace Kelly. is that allowed under the crack pairings thread?
...wait, what's going on here?
*looks around, sees the drooling screaming madman chasing people*
Oh! hey Belkar! thought you'd be shorter!
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Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It
Quote:
Originally Posted by
DarkElfGangsta
almost done! but i want to have thog come in right at the end and do something silly, like barging in dressed as cloud and singing grace Kelly. is that allowed under the crack pairings thread?
...wait, what's going on here?
*looks around, sees the drooling screaming madman chasing people*
Oh! hey Belkar! thought you'd be shorter!
Since we aren't allowed to end it with explicit sex, comedy is basically the only option IMHO. At the least, it isn't forbidden.
If you're worried about having several characters, don't be. I'm personally surprised we haven't seen The Snarl/Everyone yet.
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Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Sstoopidtallkid
I'm personally surprised we haven't seen The Snarl/Everyone yet.
I actually took a stab at this one, but then I realized I was just ripping off Futurama's "The Beast with a Billion Backs". Like, line by line. I even called Elan "Fry" a couple times.
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Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It
Hey Fiddler, if your still planning on running a competition, I've got an idea: Christmas themed pairing stories!
Misletoe! Snow! Ice-skating! Unwanted anonymous presents!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Sstoopidtallkid
Since we aren't allowed to end it with explicit sex, comedy is basically the only option IMHO.
Or squicking people out. :smallwink:
Or both at the same time.
That said, you can get a lot done with PG-13...
From the character equations thread:
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Poil
So now we're just waiting for V to show up in Roy's room with an interesting proposal on how to survive the final clash with Xykon? :smallbiggrin:
These people do know about this thread, right?
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Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It
New thread. Hi all.
Suppose I better start writing again...
Define explicate. No really. Quoting that piece of literature, My immortal:
No. L can't. Amway, despite gratuitous sex, I would not call that explicate. In any way. While I know authors who only need to hint.
I mean, I can easily do R-rated stuff by hinting and letting your minds fill in the rest.
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Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Cracklord
New thread. Hi all.
Suppose I better start writing again...
Welcome back!
Would you like something to drink?
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Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It
A shot of The tears of children who have lost their innocence, on the rocks, with a slice of lemon.
Bu nothing stronger. I'm off the heavy stuff.
Don't want to lose my girlish build.
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Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Cracklord
The tears of children who have lost their innocence.
Straight up or on the rocks?
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Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It
I just edited...
On the rocks.
Anyway, expect my contribution up tomorrow. I get to kill Belkar again!:smallbiggrin:
Then, V as a champion of Slaanesh forcing Kyrie to come back to him/her.
Then (unfortunately) I'll need a new plot bunny. Perhaps O-Chul x Freya.
Hey, who won the squickies?
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Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Zanaril
Hey Fiddler, if your still planning on running a competition, I've got an idea: Christmas themed pairing stories!
Misletoe! Snow! Ice-skating! Unwanted anonymous presents!
Not quite what I had in mind, but that could very easily work.
It's too early for me to remember, did anybody volunteer to make the art prize(s) yet?
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Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Cracklord
I just edited...
On the rocks.
Then (unfortunately) I'll need a new plot bunny. Perhaps O-Chul x Freya.
*hands Cracklord a glass full of ice and tears. There is a slice of lemon floating in it, and a curl of lemon rind adorns the side of the glass* *Zanaril keeps the now half-empty vial of love potion carefully out of sight*
<insert O-Chuck joke about fertility>
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Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Cracklord
Define explicate. No really. Quoting that piece of literature, My immortal:
No. L can't. Amway, despite gratuitous sex, I would not call that explicate. In any way. While I know authors who only need to hint.
I mean, I can easily do R-rated stuff by hinting and letting your minds fill in the rest.
I'd like a definition of 'explicit' as well (and yes, I realize that it's a joke). I just wrote something and I'm trying to figure out if it's R or PG-13.
Is it okay if we do explicit tail/wing stroking for succubi and ear stroking for elves? But everyone keeps their clothes on?
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Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Zanaril
*Zanaril keeps the now half-empty vial of love potion carefully out of sight*
*Waits while Cracklord chugs the tears*
*Saps Cracklord*
Spoiler
Show
"What whrere am I?" groaned Cracklord "What are you doing here Zan- Mnph!"
Zanrill had cut him off with a kiss.
5 Min. Earlier_____________________________
"We'll never do it You twisted fiends!" Shouted a tied-up Vaarsuvius
"Speak for your self ears! Is she hot?" Said Belkar
"IT'LL NEVER WORK! The 12 Gods protect me from your evil spells!" Said Miko
"SILENCE!" Yelled Zanrill before going behind a glass panel "RELEASE THE LOVE GAS!"
As pink gas filled the room, Watersmurf opened a door and walked up to Zanrill, still under the afects of the champange.
"Boy is it hot in here..." she moaned "Ooo! A window!"
"DON'T!!!" Zanrill shouted as Watersmurf opened the glass
"NOW YOU'VE DONE IT!"
"The Love Gas is relesed, sir" said Random Hobgoblin No. 13459
"Good!" Said Dark Fiddiler "Let them at Cracklord!"
Whoops! Sorry Zanarill! ssssssssss...
*sniffs* Do you smell something?
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Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Water-Smurf
Is it okay if we do explicit tail/wing stroking for succubi and ear stroking for elves? But everyone keeps their clothes on?
That sounds fine to me.
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Re: Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Zanaril
Spoiler
Show
*Zanaril keeps the now half-empty vial of love potion carefully out of sight*
Spoiler
Show
You get four doses per vial?