Results 1,141 to 1,170 of 1489
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2011-11-16, 03:37 PM (ISO 8601)Ogre in the Playground
- Join Date
- Nov 2004
- Location
- Belfast, NI
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
1728: My half orc is no longer allowed to bid "No Decapitations" at an auction.
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2011-11-16, 04:34 PM (ISO 8601)Ogre in the Playground
- Join Date
- Aug 2011
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
Can we get some context please?
Originally Posted by Aidan305
Open the lid and snatch a homebrewed treat from Cookie's Jar
Ponytar by Dirtytabs
Originally Posted by DudeWhyAreAllTheNamesTaken(Imgur)
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2011-11-16, 04:39 PM (ISO 8601)Firbolg in the Playground
- Join Date
- Mar 2011
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
I'm betting it's "I bid 450 gp", "I bid 500 gp", "Well I bid I don't decapitate all of you if you give me the artifact" *rolls intimidate*. Originally Posted by Sgt. Cookie
Jude P.
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2011-11-16, 05:29 PM (ISO 8601)Titan in the Playground
- Join Date
- Feb 2011
- Location
- Minnesota
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
1729. It doesn't matter if we're playing a game set in the real world with all the bells and whistles, my martial artist does not know the words to either version of Kung Fu Fighting!
1729a. He doesn't have it on his iPod either!
1729b. Or MP3!
1729c. Or a CD!
1729d. Or a DVD!
1729e. You know what? Carl Douglas and Cee Lo Green never existed in this world!Avatar of George the Dragon Slayer, from the upcoming Indivisible!
My Steam profile
Warriors and Wuxia, Callos_DeTerran's ToB setting
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2011-11-16, 06:19 PM (ISO 8601)Dwarf in the Playground
- Join Date
- Nov 2011
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
1730. Just because I told the NPC I'd feed him his own intestines if he didn't talk doesn't mean I have to follow through if he refuses.
1731 Paladins cannot be intimidated, ever, no matter how scary I look covered in paladin blood.
1732 just because the evil villain is hiding "somewhere in town x" does not give me permission to block all the gates and set the town on fire.
1732a nor may I blow up the dam and flood the town for similar reasons.
1733 I may not create a spell named Summon C4.
1733a "Eric's thermonuclear device" is also not a spell I'm allowed to make.
1733b due to popular demand I am however permitted to finish the creation of the marshmellow summoning spell. (effect is to create 3 D20 marshmellows)
1734 I may not duel wield chainsaws
1734a I may not even have a chainsaw
1734b not even if I use magic to make it work
1735 Sufficiently advanced technology is indistiguishable from magic, this does not mean that technology distinguishable from magic is insufficently advanced.
1736 when coming up with a plan to destroy the evil base it should not begin with: E=MC^2
1736 nor is the next step to be "enrich the uranium"Warning!! This poster makes frequent use of Sarcasm, Jokes, and Exaggeration. He intends no offense.
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2011-11-16, 09:27 PM (ISO 8601)Ogre in the Playground
- Join Date
- Nov 2004
- Location
- Belfast, NI
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
Pretty much. It probably didn't help that for every one of the auctioneer's goons I killed I raised the bidding by one. After five decapitations the guy ran for it. Originally Posted by noparlpf
Last edited by Aidan305; 2011-11-16 at 09:42 PM.
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2011-11-16, 09:41 PM (ISO 8601)Halfling in the Playground
- Join Date
- Nov 2011
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
1737: shopkeepers are powerful and eldritch creatures who will in no uncertain terms utterly destroy all succesful or attempted shopkeepers.
1738: just because the man has dark hair, a goatee, and a moustache does not make him evil.
1739: However if his name is Petyr Baelish its probably a safe assumptionResolute believer in letting my players attempt anything.
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2011-11-16, 09:54 PM (ISO 8601)Dwarf in the Playground
- Join Date
- Dec 2010
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
Originally Posted by Chookster
Did you maybe mean: Shoplifters are powerful and eldritch creatures who will in no uncertain terms utterly destroy all successful or attempted shopkeepers?
Come, visit the exotic desert beauty of the City of Zangiers!
(Just be sure to bring a sharp sword and sharper wits.)
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2011-11-16, 10:07 PM (ISO 8601)Titan in the Playground
- Join Date
- Feb 2011
- Location
- Texas
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
or maybe he meant Originally Posted by kaomera
Did you maybe mean: Shoplifters are powerful and eldritch creatures who will in no uncertain terms utterly destroy all successful or attempted shopkeepers?
Shopkeepers are powerful and eldritch creatures who will in no uncertain terms utterly destroy all successful or attempted shoplifters?
in order to avoid the classic "does the shopkeeper have a better weapon than I do?" paradoxI've got a new fantasy TTRPG about running your own fencing school in a 3 musketeers pastiche setting. Book coming soon.
Check out my NEW sci-fi TTRPG about first contact. Cool alien races, murderous AIs, and more. New expansion featuring rules for ships! New book here NOW!
Iron Chef Medals! Originally Posted by weckar
Amazing Princess Mononoke avatar by Dispozition
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2011-11-17, 07:25 AM (ISO 8601)Halfling in the Playground
- Join Date
- Nov 2011
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
Venger got that one correct thank you sir
Resolute believer in letting my players attempt anything.
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2011-11-17, 12:15 PM (ISO 8601)Titan in the Playground
- Join Date
- Feb 2011
- Location
- Texas
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
You're quite welcome, my friend Originally Posted by Chookster
1740: I am no longer allowed to talk the wizard into casting gentle repose on my victims without letting her know they didn't drown on their own.
1740a: not even if she doesn't have any ranks in sense motive
1740b: it does not matter what my bluff is
1741: I am no longer allowed to say "Blibdoolpoolp" at the tableI've got a new fantasy TTRPG about running your own fencing school in a 3 musketeers pastiche setting. Book coming soon.
Check out my NEW sci-fi TTRPG about first contact. Cool alien races, murderous AIs, and more. New expansion featuring rules for ships! New book here NOW!
Iron Chef Medals! Originally Posted by weckar
Amazing Princess Mononoke avatar by Dispozition
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2011-11-17, 02:38 PM (ISO 8601)Troll in the Playground
- Join Date
- Feb 2006
- Location
- Under a 1st Ed AD&D DMG
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
1742: I may not mock the Druid for turning into a snake by saying that that never helps.
Avatar by Akirim.ElfSpoiler
by Akirim.elf
Kickstarter Avatar by Savannah
Originally Posted by Nerd-o-rama
Originally Posted by Triscuitable
Originally Posted by Maxios
GENERIC FLAMING COMMENT, POSSIBLY INVOLVING YOUR MOTHER
!
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2011-11-17, 02:49 PM (ISO 8601)Firbolg in the Playground
- Join Date
- Mar 2011
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
1743: Unless we are actually evil, we may not attach the 12-year-old Dwarf child (so around 5 in human terms) to a long rope hanging from the stern of our Astral Plane ship just because we have completely unfounded suspicions that he might be an illithid in disguise.
Jude P.
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2011-11-17, 02:54 PM (ISO 8601)Ogre in the Playground
- Join Date
- Jun 2010
- Location
- Durham
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
1743b: The Paladin on the other hand can.
1743c: Because he worships Asmodeus and has detect alignment.
1743d: Even when he can't
1744: Conjurers do not have contests of who can some the bigger thingCheck Out
Check out my youtube channel just click here and enjoy?
Spoiler Originally Posted by Miscast_Mage
Originally Posted by Arbane
"Sleep is optional, just ask Vknight" Someone I Forget but thanks... I don't Originally Posted by Jay R
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2011-11-17, 03:13 PM (ISO 8601)Dwarf in the Playground
- Join Date
- Nov 2010
- Location
- Top of the tower
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
1745. I am no longer allowed to make characters that can shoot enough arrows to destroy a small army in one round. ESPECIALLY when wildshaped into a giant tentacle monster.
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2011-11-17, 03:30 PM (ISO 8601)Troll in the Playground
- Join Date
- Apr 2007
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
1745.B. This is still true even if the arrow count is one. Scratch that especially true.
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2011-11-17, 04:19 PM (ISO 8601)Halfling in the Playground
- Join Date
- Oct 2009
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
1746: I am no longer allowed to pass flatus in the face of the BBEG.
1746a: Especially if its Stradh.
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2011-11-17, 08:52 PM (ISO 8601)Halfling in the Playground
- Join Date
- Nov 2011
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
1747: I will not taunt the octopus.
Resolute believer in letting my players attempt anything.
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2011-11-17, 09:15 PM (ISO 8601)Ogre in the Playground
- Join Date
- Aug 2007
- Location
- In your head.
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
1747a: I will not have a theological debate with it either.
1747b: Nor shall I play poker with it while doing so.
1747c: Especially not strip poker.Last edited by boomwolf; 2011-11-17 at 09:16 PM.
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2011-11-17, 10:06 PM (ISO 8601)Ogre in the Playground
- Join Date
- Mar 2011
- Location
- My Campaign Setting
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
1748a. Stabbing things is bad
1748b. Stabbing things in punishable by being stabbed
1748c. No stabbing of good people
1749 "I stab it" is not how you greet the DMPC
1749a. Especially if the DMPC is always 10 levels higher than you.
1750. I am never allowed to sing the stabbing song in combat
The stabbing song goes as follows:
First Verse- sung to the tune of "Kill The Wabbit"
STAP THE HEATHENS! STAB THE HEATHENS! STAB THEM ALL!
Second Verse- sung to the tune of "I am a Dwarf, and I'm digging a hole!"
IM A BARBARIAN AND I'M STABBING THE MINIONS! STABBY STABBY MINIONS, IM STABBING THE MINIONS!Last edited by Kymme; 2011-11-17 at 10:20 PM.
~The meteorite is the source of the light, and the meteor's just what we see,
and the meteoroid is a stone that's devoid of the fire that propelled it to thee.
And the meteorite's just what causes the light, and the meteor's how it's perceived,
and the meteoroid's a bone thrown from the void that lies quiet in offering to thee.~
Tatzlwyrm Avatar by me.
Extended Sig thisaways.
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2011-11-17, 10:24 PM (ISO 8601)Troll in the Playground
- Join Date
- Jun 2010
- Location
- Out in The Sticks
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
congratluations, you've just found my girlfriend's new theme song for her barbarian characters. Originally Posted by Kymme123
-hands over cookie jar-
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2011-11-17, 10:31 PM (ISO 8601)Titan in the Playground
- Join Date
- Aug 2010
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
1751: My LG Cleric of Heironeous cannot "mercy kill" innocent children in order teach the CG Fighter a lesson in values/morals/ethics.
Originally Posted by Dragonprime
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2011-11-17, 10:50 PM (ISO 8601)Ogre in the Playground
- Join Date
- Mar 2011
- Location
- My Campaign Setting
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
You are quite welcome, good sir Originally Posted by big teej
Last edited by Kymme; 2011-11-17 at 10:53 PM.
~The meteorite is the source of the light, and the meteor's just what we see,
and the meteoroid is a stone that's devoid of the fire that propelled it to thee.
And the meteorite's just what causes the light, and the meteor's how it's perceived,
and the meteoroid's a bone thrown from the void that lies quiet in offering to thee.~
Tatzlwyrm Avatar by me.
Extended Sig thisaways.
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2011-11-17, 11:01 PM (ISO 8601)Ogre in the Playground
- Join Date
- Nov 2010
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
1749a.I am not allowed to keep the victims of baleful polymorphs as pet cats
1749b.Especially not high level psions. Or high level optomized BBEGs.
1749c.Note: Catnip doesnt work on cat-shaped high level psions
1749d. Make that no pet cats. Ever.
1749e. If by some accident i aquire a pet cat, it will immediately be drowned.My Homebrew:
WIP
The Fortunar Base Class: A Fortuneteller wielding a minor Deck of Many Things. Mid T3.
Completed Classes
The Grandmaster : A master of animated stattuettes and tactical magic. High tier 3.
The Hidden Word: An infiltrator with a wide range of abilities that works best in small teams. Tier 2-3
Web-Spinner: A martial class based around using webs. Mid T3.
The True Warrior: A swift mundane martial combat class that can dodge and slice their way to victory. Low Tier 3.
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2011-11-18, 01:06 AM (ISO 8601)Halfling in the Playground
- Join Date
- Nov 2011
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
1750: if my plan at any point involves the words "psychological warfare" and has to make the DM think for mroe than a minute about the logical consequences it is banned
Resolute believer in letting my players attempt anything.
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2011-11-18, 01:19 AM (ISO 8601)Titan in the Playground
- Join Date
- Feb 2011
- Location
- Texas
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
1751: baleful polymorph does not let my character get around the "humanoid or monstrous humanoid" part of his vow of nonviolence
I've got a new fantasy TTRPG about running your own fencing school in a 3 musketeers pastiche setting. Book coming soon.
Check out my NEW sci-fi TTRPG about first contact. Cool alien races, murderous AIs, and more. New expansion featuring rules for ships! New book here NOW!
Iron Chef Medals! Originally Posted by weckar
Amazing Princess Mononoke avatar by Dispozition
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2011-11-18, 01:50 PM (ISO 8601)Troll in the Playground
- Join Date
- Feb 2006
- Location
- Under a 1st Ed AD&D DMG
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
1752: Flesh to stone does not let my character get around "Vow of nonviolence"
Avatar by Akirim.ElfSpoilerby Akirim.elfKickstarter Avatar by Savannah
Originally Posted by Nerd-o-rama
Originally Posted by Triscuitable
Originally Posted by Maxios
GENERIC FLAMING COMMENT, POSSIBLY INVOLVING YOUR MOTHER!
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2011-11-18, 02:05 PM (ISO 8601)Bugbear in the Playground
- Join Date
- Aug 2010
- Location
- 127.0.0.1
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
1755: Teleport does not let my character get around "Vow of Nonviolence".
1755B: Neither does Greater Teleport.
EDIT: Fixed numberingLast edited by Ksheep; 2011-11-19 at 09:04 PM.
Proud owner of:0.36 0.43 0.992.00 Internet(s), 2 Win(s), and 3000 Brownie Point(s)
Originally Posted by Welknair
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2011-11-18, 04:39 PM (ISO 8601)Barbarian in the Playground
- Join Date
- Aug 2009
- Location
- Greensboro NC, USA
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
You've just given me a great idea for an "innocent" old Cat Lady NPC. Originally Posted by Demidos
Meddle not in the affairs of Dragons, unless you brought someone bigger and tastier along with you.
Spoiler
Go HERE for a look at the Ishka (CWBP) Wiki.
Go HERE for a look at the Dragon-World (CWBP) Wiki.
Originally Posted by newD&Dfan
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2011-11-18, 07:31 PM (ISO 8601)Ogre in the Playground
- Join Date
- Aug 2007
- Location
- In your head.
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
1754: I cannot use Greater Magic Weapon on a Mimic disguised as a longsword to make a +5 Mimic.
Last edited by boomwolf; 2011-11-18 at 07:32 PM.
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