Results 91 to 120 of 152
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2012-09-15, 05:26 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Nov 2005
- Gender
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2012-09-15, 07:09 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2010
- Location
- Texas
- Gender
Re: Hillariously Stupid Non-Monster Things from D&D
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.ph.../TalkToTheFist
Punch him in the face and say "Less talking, more fighting!"Part of the "Raise Nale and Let Him Serve Life in Prison" fan-club
"The only reason why people didn't like Durkon before was because he is the only member of the group that doesn't commit evil, like hurting others, or breaking the rules for giggles. I.E.' He's not cool'"
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2012-09-15, 07:55 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2009
Re: Hillariously Stupid Non-Monster Things from D&D
I am not seaweed. That's a B.
Praise I've received A quick outline on building a homebrew campaign
Avatar by Tiffanie Lirle
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2012-09-15, 10:08 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2005
- Gender
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2012-09-15, 11:29 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2010
Re: Hillariously Stupid Non-Monster Things from D&D
I don't see how "Monkey Three" is clearer or faster than just saying "shut your eyes".
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2012-09-16, 12:22 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2009
Re: Hillariously Stupid Non-Monster Things from D&D
I am not seaweed. That's a B.
Praise I've received A quick outline on building a homebrew campaign
Avatar by Tiffanie Lirle
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2012-09-16, 12:48 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2005
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Re: Hillariously Stupid Non-Monster Things from D&D
That's not my point. Yes, that's one of those embarrassing mistakes that everyone makes once in a while, but the original orders you posted when making your point still make sense. The orders were: "Look out behind you, to your left, and above you." Which can be read easily as list orders, where you do them in order, making "4'o clock" to your left of the first one of "look out behind you.
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2012-09-16, 12:58 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jan 2009
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Re: Hillariously Stupid Non-Monster Things from D&D
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vOsHoqhbUIU
It's a standard trope for villains to gloat. If you interrupt the gloating, you are having a different kind fo fun.
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2012-09-16, 01:21 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2011
- Location
- Australia
- Gender
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2012-09-16, 08:47 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2010
Re: Hillariously Stupid Non-Monster Things from D&D
Well, my last DM had very bad gloating, and all his villains were the same, so it's not like they were bringing something new to the table. The gloating usually had nothing to do with anything (much like the rest of his "plots"), and bored me to tears whenever someone started up a rant. For some perspective, he's the kind of guy who shoehorns the word "existence" into whatever he happens to be saying when he wants to sound deep.
Last edited by Slipperychicken; 2012-09-16 at 08:48 AM.
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2012-09-16, 10:12 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Apr 2010
- Location
- London, EU
- Gender
Re: Hillariously Stupid Non-Monster Things from D&D
π = 4
Consider a 5' radius blast: this affects 4 squares which have a circumference of 40' — Actually it's worse than that.
Completely Dysfunctional Handbook
Warped Druid Handbook
Avatar by Caravaggio
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2012-09-16, 10:24 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jan 2007
- Location
- Switzerland
- Gender
Re: Hillariously Stupid Non-Monster Things from D&D
I love hte Roving Mauler. The game needs more of that and less "random tentacles and teeth stuck together" or "like a human but bigger and tougher" monsters.
Resident Vancian Apologist
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2012-09-16, 10:54 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2010
- Gender
Re: Hillariously Stupid Non-Monster Things from D&D
And it was during all of that discussion that the monster on the ceiling at 4 o'clock ate Steve.
Hilarious how things prove their own point
re: Villain Gloating:
The games I play in tend to go the kung-fu movie route of yell across the field at one another, then go to battle. But then again, I've been playing Deathwatch. Battle with a big bad in the Codex Astartes consists of:
Denounce Heretic
Condemn Heretic
Yell at Heretic
Praise the Emperor
Hope You Won Initiative because at Mid to High Levels Whoever Hits First Turns the Other Into a Red Mist on Round One.
Which is almost an on-topic thing to say. Huh. Well, this is the general gaming forum.Last edited by Jack of Spades; 2012-09-16 at 11:01 AM.
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2012-09-16, 11:01 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2005
- Location
Re: Hillariously Stupid Non-Monster Things from D&D
The really evil guys leave you rotting in jail, with the victory monologue delivered through loudspeakers... on repeat.
While the villain himself is out there, finally taking control of the world using his ingenious plan of... well, actually the whole Empire of Ice plan was designed by this other guy, but he died, and he never got it to work because he wasn't invincible! Muahahaa!
Oh my god how I love that book. So cheesy.Last edited by endoperez; 2012-09-16 at 11:02 AM.
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2012-09-16, 12:56 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2010
- Location
- Ohio, mostly.
- Gender
Re: Hillariously Stupid Non-Monster Things from D&D
From the AD&D Tome of Magic, the Mouse Cart.
It is a full sized cart attached to a harness the size of a mouse. When a mouse is hooked up, it is given the strength to pull the cart as fast as a team of horses.
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2012-09-16, 01:22 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jan 2012
Re: Hillariously Stupid Non-Monster Things from D&D
Last edited by toapat; 2012-09-16 at 03:49 PM.
My Homebrew: found here.
When you Absolutely, Positively, Gotta Drop some Huge rocks, Accept NO Substitutes
PM Me if you would like a table from my homebrew reconstructed.
Drow avatar @ myself
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2012-09-16, 01:58 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2010
- Location
- You can't catch me anyhow
Re: Hillariously Stupid Non-Monster Things from D&D
It is one word shorter, with the same number of syllables. Three things typically matter: "who understands it", "the true meaning" and either "how short the phrase is" or "how easy it is to say". This is kind of like wording a wish: you want that wish to be as short, precise and give it's full meaning so clearly it actually takes a good amount of time to twist it into something you wouldn't like.
This is why we have things like "Code-Blue. Sector-8. Response-Gold." instead of "I, Jonathan Scotts the yearling priest (born in Silvercrest to a family of metal-workers, most of whom still live within that area) have identified five targets approaching the weapon of unlimited power at the safe house of nobleman Elas Web, who is actually the trigger for said weapon of unlimited power. Please send in the Chain Devil defensive team."
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2012-09-16, 10:40 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2007
- Location
- The Imagination
- Gender
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2012-09-16, 11:33 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2009
Re: Hillariously Stupid Non-Monster Things from D&D
I think the point is made, regardless of the specifics.
Let's get back to D&D stupidity shall we?
on topic: wish twisting.
While it was included with the intention, I think, of limiting the spell's power when munchkins get ahold of it, or to keep it from being abused if you get it from a SP. In practice, it's far too often used just to be a d-bag of a DM. That's just plain stupid, IMO.I am not seaweed. That's a B.
Praise I've received A quick outline on building a homebrew campaign
Avatar by Tiffanie Lirle
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2012-09-17, 01:34 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jan 2012
Re: Hillariously Stupid Non-Monster Things from D&D
Also, something I think is stupid (But not in a funny kind of way) is Level Adjustment from 3e. It was just a minorly tweaked version of the old Racial Level Limits (and we all know how well those worked) and it barred a lot of the cooler races like Mephlings, Dromites and Thri-Keen from use without irritating penalites. It was just a lazy way to keep players from playing races without them havign to balance them with other PC races.
And on stupid in an awesome way PC races, I'd like to talk about Unbodied. They're essentially giant disembodied brains made from psionics users who have transcended mortal flesh, and they have PC stats. But, unfortunately, they have +4 Level adjustment, which makes them a bother to play as. I really hope in D&D next we get a version of them equivalent in skills to PC characters as a PC race. I wanna play as my giant floating brain character dammit!
Also, on an actually stupid note, there's the Wildren race. They're a planar race from The Beastlands descended from dwarven ghosts ****ing celestial badgers. I swear to god I am not making that up. I have no idea how no editor caught that, "Hey, maybe this is kind of a creepy concept for a race".
I was actually hoping this thread would cover more of the humorously stupid stuff in D&D rather than the stupid stupid kind of stuff.
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2012-09-17, 11:07 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2010
- Location
- Dallas, TX
- Gender
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2012-09-17, 12:07 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jan 2009
- Gender
Re: Hillariously Stupid Non-Monster Things from D&D
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i3W5GDkgf2w
This is what happens when you fight and gloat at the same time.
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2012-09-17, 12:12 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2011
- Gender
Re: Hillariously Stupid Non-Monster Things from D&D
If brute force isn't working, that just means you're not using enough of it.
When in doubt, set something on fire. If not in doubt, set something on fire anyway.
My Homebrew
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2012-09-17, 01:53 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2006
- Location
- Brazil
- Gender
Re: Hillariously Stupid Non-Monster Things from D&D
Member of the Hinjo fan club. Go Hinjo!
"In Soviet Russia, the Darkness attacks you."
"Rogues not only have a lot more skill points, but sneak attack is so good it hurts..."
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2012-09-17, 02:38 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jan 2012
Re: Hillariously Stupid Non-Monster Things from D&D
Last edited by toapat; 2012-09-17 at 02:39 PM.
My Homebrew: found here.
When you Absolutely, Positively, Gotta Drop some Huge rocks, Accept NO Substitutes
PM Me if you would like a table from my homebrew reconstructed.
Drow avatar @ myself
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2012-09-17, 05:03 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2010
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2012-09-17, 06:55 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2011
Re: Hillariously Stupid Non-Monster Things from D&D
Swanmay, BOED, lets you turn into a Swan. Which I think deals 1d2 nonlethal damage when it bites. I mean, yeah you are supposed to use it to escape or whatever. The rest of the class is awesome and tottally worth keeping your virginity for, but there is a bunch of weird swan stuff too.
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2012-09-18, 02:45 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jan 2009
- Gender
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2012-09-18, 03:41 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2008
- Gender
Re: Hillariously Stupid Non-Monster Things from D&D
Class restrictions applying to the player too would be hilariously stupid.
Last edited by Poil; 2012-09-18 at 03:41 AM.
Awesome avatar by RustMonster
Constipated Lizard Slayer
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2012-09-18, 02:05 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2011