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2010-02-19, 02:58 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Our Comic Lab in the Playground: An experimentation class
...Well...That's good to know.
I personally thought the art was really good. Not great, but a good step forward. I wanted to try a more complicated art style to gradually get to some kind of amazing, super-realistic style.
It wasn't supposed to look exactly like the Mario characters, obviously. It was supposed to make them look more realistic, because I based a lot of the character's looks from real animals and objects (for example, the koopa takes heavy inspiration from real turtles). It was also supposed to look creepy and somewhat abstract, because I wanted that to be the mood of the setting.
But if people think it's bad then...I don't know what to do to fix that. Does everybody else agree with Cizak?Last edited by Green-Shirt Q; 2010-02-19 at 02:59 PM.
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2010-02-19, 04:04 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Our Comic Lab in the Playground: An experimentation class
i'm sorry Q... I wouldn't...
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2010-02-20, 01:46 AM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Our Comic Lab in the Playground: An experimentation class
*comes out of lurking* Yeah actually. The art you put together in that preview is not pleasant to look at. There are some huge proportions errors, as well as perspective issues, and everyone looks 2d I think. I'd say practice your drawing a bit more before trying to do something realistic, or even cartoony. Stick to your vector art for comics until then.
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2010-02-20, 07:12 AM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Our Comic Lab in the Playground: An experimentation class
Yeah, the art's actually a little painful to look at.
Though if you absolutely positively MUST make a Mario-themed comic, I recommend it either be in your ordinary art style or a Sprite Comic.Dark Souls Remake in a Nutshell
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2010-02-20, 07:29 AM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Our Comic Lab in the Playground: An experimentation class
O.o
But seriously, thanks for the comment. I think I might see what you're saying. I had shading in it originally, but I actually thought the art was good enough without it that cutting that corner to save time would be alright. I see now what I have to do...
People, I am not giving up this new art style. Even The Simpsons art was pretty bad at first, but with only a few subtle changes over the years it's become a masterpiece of both simplicity and detail. The only difference is besides the medium, purposes of writing, and the amount of success I'll have from it is that I'm look to get my subtle changes fixed before I actually start it.
So please, don't just say "it's bad", or "proportion errors". The whole reason I made the first comic in this experimental style so that you may pick individual panels and examples of art that I could change, and tell me how I would change it so I can to give it a more pleasent and polished look. I think I see a few things myself I will change, but so far the only good piece of advice is "change goomba's legs to a more natural look". That's a good start, I think. But I need more. You don't give up trying to play a totally new intrument just because you failed your first playing test, and I too shall not give up yet until it is deemed readable.AVATAR BATTLE ROYALE!
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2010-02-20, 08:50 AM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Our Comic Lab in the Playground: An experimentation class
M'kay, let's see what I can do here...
1) As said, change the legs of the goomba. If you can't see how it's unnatural, try bending your own legs that way. I asure you, you'll have to go to the hospital afetrwards.
2) Give peach some arms!
3) Bowser and the Koopa Troopas have to longs noses. Just google-search "Bowser" and "Koopa troopa", and you can see that their noses/mouths are more round and short. I know you said you wanted to draw them more realistic, but if you search for "turtle", you won't find any images of turtles with that long noses. At least I don't find any...
4) Make your Hammer-Bro actually hold his hammer. It loks like it's taped to his palm or something.
5) I don't know wheter the second Toad is supposed to be dead, or alive with a lost foot. But either way, his expression doesn't fit either one. He just looks a little annoyed. If he's dead, well... make him looks more dead (sorry ) and if he's alive with just one foot, make him scream in agony or something. If you loose one foot, you won't be just annoyed.Last edited by Cizak; 2010-02-20 at 08:52 AM.
I won a thread. Am I pathetic to list that in my signture? Yes. Of course I am.
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2010-02-20, 09:12 AM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Our Comic Lab in the Playground: An experimentation class
Well first off, the 2nd toad looks like he's asleep with a lost foot, sitting up.
Then the goomba's reverse-jointed legs look...unreal. I recommend you give 'em normal looking legs. If you must have unusual legs, I recommend a miniature version of the legs Bungie uses for Elites. Picture. If you want a clearer example here's the template I use for <Guess which character>'s legs. Picture.
The Koopa's faces look...retarted. One thing I know from playing Mario games is that they tend to be...taller than how you drew them, with rounder ends, usually a hookbill. Picture. You probably won't draw eyes like that, so I recommend you do something similar to this.
As for Peach, either her arms are absurdly short or Bowser had too much time and rope on his hands.
And Bowser himself, as per the Koopas, overall, i'd say you might wanna simplify your art style just a little bit and work from there. Maybe blunt up his face a little bit.Dark Souls Remake in a Nutshell
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2010-02-20, 09:34 AM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Our Comic Lab in the Playground: An experimentation class
Dudes! As Mario's biggest fan, I think I know what Koopas look like!
Actually, I did gave her actual arms, but her hair generally covers it up in this picture. I guess I never really considered whether or not they were long enough, though.
And with everything else, thank you so much. I will change all of this today, and try to add shading, and show you to see if it's any better. Thank you SO much.Last edited by Green-Shirt Q; 2010-02-20 at 09:34 AM.
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2010-02-20, 01:11 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Our Comic Lab in the Playground: An experimentation class
Whoa. Guess what I found out.
Shading, at least in CorelDraw 12, is REALLY HARD.
I mean, I managed to do it before, it just sucked. I can't get it to not suck.
I think I managed to fix everything else you guys have been suggesting, as well as a few things my mother suggested. What do you think now? Readable? Any more changes you would suggest?
Spoiler
And here's the slightly improved title page.
SpoilerLast edited by Green-Shirt Q; 2010-02-20 at 01:11 PM.
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2010-02-20, 01:30 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Our Comic Lab in the Playground: An experimentation class
Better, but not by much.
The thing about an Ultra-Realistic style is that, if you can pull it off, it looks amazing, but if not, it looks hideous. The important thing about an Art Style, especially a cartoon, is that everything looks consistent, so the viewer can easily look at an image and know what it is, that's why so many things are stylized.
It dosn't help that, not only are you trying to draw an ultrarealistic style with basic computer drawing programs, but you are trying to convert highly Stylized images of things that don't have a realistic counterpart.
Take, for example, the Goomba
It looks fine Stylized, because that's the way it's meant to be. You're trying to take an image of something totally ridiculous and make it look realistic, and it comes off as creepy.
I'm sorry Q, but I don't think this project is going to work out. If you want to see if you can use a realistic style, pick different source material.
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2010-02-20, 01:38 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Our Comic Lab in the Playground: An experimentation class
I highly you get your hands on some SNES sprites and go to town with those. (I also recommend you double the size of the sprites too)
Dark Souls Remake in a Nutshell
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2010-02-20, 01:44 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Our Comic Lab in the Playground: An experimentation class
As said, better. But not very much.
Now I can see whsat was bugging me most about the goomba, and it weas that you've left out the body.
also, now Bowser's stomach looks wierd.I won a thread. Am I pathetic to list that in my signture? Yes. Of course I am.
Awesome avatar is awesome. And made by yldenfrei.
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2010-02-20, 02:31 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Our Comic Lab in the Playground: An experimentation class
Nah. I'm only doing it for the idea, and partially to get the art style right, but I think I'm going to give this a try anyway, either by doing the same art style (which I think is pretty good) or maybe with my regular art style.
And yeah, the goomba does have a counterpart. The mushroom. It's a little distant, but I think you should see the resemblence.
Unfortunetly, for me, sprites isn't really an option anymore. I could have used them when I was working on Super Smash B-List, but after a computer upgrade it would always blur the sprites.
And, (to everyone) I'm trying to be creepy. So if that's the only thing stopping you, then I guess you should read it anyway.AVATAR BATTLE ROYALE!
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2010-02-20, 02:49 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Our Comic Lab in the Playground: An experimentation class
I know Goombas are Mushrooms. But They're mushrooms that walk around on little circular legs. There is no counterpart for Mushrooms having legs. You depicted your Goombas with humanoid legs, which looks very very odd. In artwork, they're depicted as having little spheres they walk around on, which works great as a cartoon, but doesn't translate well into ultrarealism.
Go for Realism by all means, but don't sacrifice aesthetics entierly.
If I can be brutally honest, the art right now is kind of ugly. I'd recommend thickening up exterior lines, using the thin lines for interior detail. Thicker outlines tends to make your characters seem more solid and real, right now your Koopas look like pieces of paper held up in front of the background.
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2010-02-20, 02:55 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Our Comic Lab in the Playground: An experimentation class
MSPaint doesn't blur sprites as long as you save them as PNG and not JPG.
Dark Souls Remake in a Nutshell
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2010-02-20, 03:34 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Our Comic Lab in the Playground: An experimentation class
That's the spirit =D.
For learning how to draw more realistic proportions, though - it's usually not a good idea to dive straight in and draw from the top-down if you don't have prior experience in the style. Instead, I would recommend planning out your scene using light-colored pencils and draw people/figures as shapes and lines, like this:
Then polish it gradually and outline the basic figure, like this:
Doing this type of layer-by-layer drawing can be slow if you're using a mouse, but it's really helpful when you want to fix anatomy or draw complex views/poses.
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2010-02-20, 03:41 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Our Comic Lab in the Playground: An experimentation class
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2010-02-20, 03:45 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Our Comic Lab in the Playground: An experimentation class
I recommend you REALLY polish up the art style over a certain period of time before you start the comic, say, do some practice drawings of all the characters until you have something that is both somewhat realistic and staying somewhat true to the cartooney Mario style that doesn't make your eye bleed. Post updates here for critique.
Ovals on Bowser's belly are unacceptable.Dark Souls Remake in a Nutshell
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2010-02-20, 04:12 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Our Comic Lab in the Playground: An experimentation class
Is this any better? I used BRC's advice, but I think I may have misunderstood him.
Spoiler
Well, the scales on his belly ARE present in official Bowser.
And for some reason, I have a funny feeling that no matter how hard I'll try, I'll never be able to please you people. In which case I'll simply go with the art that makes me happy. If that hypothetically happens, and it still makes your "eye bleed" somehow from awfulness, don't worry. You don't have to read it.Last edited by Green-Shirt Q; 2010-02-20 at 04:13 PM.
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2010-02-20, 04:29 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Our Comic Lab in the Playground: An experimentation class
1) That looks a LOT better. A few details are off, but the only thing that stands out is Bowser's belly again and bowser's lips.
For Bowser's Belly I recommend you just use an ellipse and make several curved lines on it.
For the lips just smooth out the ripples in the middle up on the top.
2) We're trying to help you, if you notice you're progressively getting better. Unfortunately you'll only get better at a snail's pace if we just lied to you and say "It's k " and it'd be bad for us because blood on the keyboard from your eyes is not fun.Dark Souls Remake in a Nutshell
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2010-02-20, 04:42 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Our Comic Lab in the Playground: An experimentation class
...Really?
Huh.
Oh well. Thecustomeraudience is always right.
And yeah, I know you're just trying to help. I suppose "it's really bad art" and "makes your eyes bleed" hurts my feelings though. Surely you can help without hurting feelings?
And it seemed like you guys were trying to convince me to give up at one point. I didn't really like that, because I think this is a pretty good idea.
But yeah, thanks for the advice. I will follow it.Last edited by Green-Shirt Q; 2010-02-20 at 04:43 PM.
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2010-02-20, 04:52 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Our Comic Lab in the Playground: An experimentation class
1) No, that was BRC trying to convince you to give up. All I said was "Sprite Comic?"
2) Time to get nitpickey.
Spoiler
-For joints, I like to use lines to signify bending and separation of the leg segments, otherwise the whole appendage looks like one solid object. If you have to, make different appendages for different bends. Remember this? note the line at the knee between the thigh and lower leg. Also note how each toe is separated by a line. That probably won't be immediately useful, but it could eventually.
-The Princess needs to be tied to something. Let's be honest, you can't just tie someone's arms behind their back, gag 'em, and expect them to stay in one place for like...hours.
Here, I would think about what would keep her in place. Tying her legs up is reasonable because it can be concealed by her skirt (Hence the crying) and/or being off-panel, but even then she can just hop around. I would recommend tying her to a bedpost. Because of her royalty status, in all likelihood she would have one of those beds with the canopy covers, hence tall poles in which to be tied to.
-Gag needs to go further into the mouth a little bit.
-Lengthen Bowser's nose slightly
-Remember, we should NOT be able to see any orange scales on Bowser's torso.
-Lenthen Bowser's arms a bit, cuz otherwise he's a T-Rex in a shell.
Just a few minor to moderate adjustments.
3) I know you make good comics and i'd like to see where you go with it, we're just trying to optimize your art to be the best at which you can make it.Last edited by Emperor Ing; 2010-02-20 at 04:54 PM.
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2010-02-20, 05:06 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Our Comic Lab in the Playground: An experimentation class
You know how I said I based a lot of the Mario species on animals? That was the animal I actually did base Bowser on.
But yeah, I'll fix it. I'll fix everything you've brought up. Thank you so much, dude. This is going to be great once it's all finished.
Currently going o0ver and fixing all the stuff with the last two panels, and then I'm going to go to the second two and then the first two. Then the title page. It should all be done relatively soon.AVATAR BATTLE ROYALE!
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2010-02-20, 05:45 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Our Comic Lab in the Playground: An experimentation class
Q, I can actually see the improvement coming. Needs a bit more work, but it's looking better and better every time.
Look.
Spoiler
Spoiler
Spoiler
EDIT: Made a mistake. I'll fix it.Last edited by Maximum Zersk; 2010-02-20 at 05:51 PM.
A webcomic by Sahaar and I, Shadow of Fire. Read it!
Giant in the Playground Worldbuilding Project.
Avatar by James Cameron. Or Michael Dante DiMartino and Bryan Konietzko. Oh wait, I mean Tom Siddell.
Spoiler
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2010-02-20, 05:57 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Our Comic Lab in the Playground: An experimentation class
Alright, I think I got it this time. Here's the whole thing.
Title page.
Spoiler
Comic 1
Spoiler
How is this? Did I finally get it right?
Thanks guys. Really.
P.S: I also gave The koopa Paper Mario style armbands and shades. Just because I could.Last edited by Green-Shirt Q; 2010-02-20 at 05:58 PM.
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2010-02-20, 06:01 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Our Comic Lab in the Playground: An experimentation class
Epic, EPIC Improvement.
Of course, it wouldn't be right without the nitpicks.
Spoiler
-shrink the koopa's lower jaw by..a lot.
-the bed canopy should be a bit higher and..behind the frontal bedpost.
-A little bit of orange is showing up on Bowser's torso
-there is nothing wrong with the cuffs or shades, at all.
All I can say is that there definitely has been some spectacular improvement, and Bowser especially looks really really good.Last edited by Emperor Ing; 2010-02-20 at 06:02 PM.
Dark Souls Remake in a Nutshell
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2010-02-20, 06:43 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Our Comic Lab in the Playground: An experimentation class
Yep, I think I can actually follow that comic now
I won a thread. Am I pathetic to list that in my signture? Yes. Of course I am.
Awesome avatar is awesome. And made by yldenfrei.
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2010-02-20, 07:25 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Our Comic Lab in the Playground: An experimentation class
VERY nice improvement actually. The Goomba looks like it could feasibly exist, you're characters look three dimensional and solid. It's still abit rough, but that's expected when you're using a new art style. Once you've gotten more comfortable with/better at the style, don't be afraid to rebuild your templates using your new experience*
*This is something I intend to do eventually. The problem with Vector comics is that your main characters are usually the first ones you design, when you are the least experienced. As you do the comic more, you get better at the style, and so the new characters you design look better than the old ones, but since you're just copy-pasting your templates your old characters stay as they were when you first designed them.
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2010-02-20, 07:57 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Our Comic Lab in the Playground: An experimentation class
Huge improvements. It come up as pretty good right now.
The only trouble (and it's frankly minor) I can see left, is with Peach.
The general proportions are here, but the upper body seems a bit off in my opinion. Particulary neck who look a little too thin and has a weird angle with the head it's supposed to support.
The perspective in this pannel look a bit odd between peach's body and the bed she's tied too (look at the shoulders line)
Browser on the other hand looks perfect and so does his koopas croonies.
Small nitpicks
Mario should be in the foreground in the title page. Right now he's a little hard to see.
I'm also not a fan of the white lines used to give details on Mario's clothes.
The background on pannels 1 and 3 look nice and detailed, wich is verry good. But sadly in contrast the monochrome backgrounds in pannel 2 and 4 appears pretty bland
If you're going to go for more realistic-ish, I suggest you really consider trying shading more. Sure it takes a lot of time to do but it gives oh so much better results.Last edited by smuchmuch; 2010-02-20 at 08:17 PM.
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Somme old avatars, by meSpoiler
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2010-02-20, 08:49 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Our Comic Lab in the Playground: An experimentation class
Can I just make a comment on this here.
Q, your style was not very good. It was very DETAILED, but Detail does not necessarily equal quality or realism.
Now, the good news is that you did everything right. You imagined the style, you worked on it until you were satisfied with it, then you looked for input. You received nothing but criticism, and rather than trying to defend your artwork, you accepted the advice and made use of it. I'd be lying if I said I loved the final product, but my reaction is now more along the lines of "Meh, not my cup of tea" then "That's hideous". However, you are doing something I'm not that I wish I was, you are actively seeking to improve your art by intentionally adopting an unfamiliar and difficult style. So while I don't much like the art now, I have a feeling that in a year or so my art will still be more or less the same, while yours will be amazing because I've been copy pasting whenever possible, while you are actively pushing your boundaries.
So yeah, while I don't know if I'm going to be reading your next comic, I wish you luck with it, and have a feeling that great things are going to come of it.
Also, this is supposed to be a joke, but it's relevant to your interests.