Crack Pairings V - We Revel in Infamy

[Oooohaloophole]

You know, Im sorry. I love every single marionet, stupid , unrealistic Piece of fanfic on this Thread. I wasnt realy talking for myself when I made fun of all the fanfics, I was sort saying what I was supposed to be saying: That everything here is crap. I just was embarased that I actualy liked what I was reading, so much like Miko I lashed out at other people for my faults. Its not like what I said isnt true, this stuff is wierd, but the WAY I said it is just horrible. I think It has something to do with the introduction of undeadies. So yeah.....Sorry I guess (Wish I said that BEFORE I got the 3 Infractions....).

Maybe eventualy I To will have the Will and courage to randomly roll up a piaring and have fun with it. I am not asking for forgiveness, just Understanding.

[Asta Kask]

And they'd have to come to terms with the fact that, every time they have sex, two untouchable ghosts are probably watching. Everyone's worst nightmare.

They're still vulnerqable to force effects, like Interposing Hand. And if you had sex within a Prismatic Sphere, they likely couldn't see anything. Of course, having to cast a 9th-level spell to have sex in peace is a little odd, but...

[Zanaril]

Then again, as long as I don't imagine it having anything to do with my own parents, I'm not too squicked. Something tells me that I should rein my 'free love' philosophy in a little before it does anything else to me.

I'm not saying you should write it! Although you can if you want, of course.

Speaking of V's parents, do you think they ever tried to set V and Aandy up on a date?

If he saw her someplace, he'd probably just grab her arm and drag her off someplace dark, and she wouldn't do anything to resist. I don't think I need to go into what he'd do.

*shudder*

At least Reddy's around to make sure that doesn't happen.

And Inky would probably get a little sore about it. ("Her jailer? She spread her legs for the damn jailer?!")

Y'know, I'd say poor Inky, but compared everything V's gone through (and everything Reddy's going to go through when Aandy turns up) Inky's seems to be getting off lightly.

I mean... it could work! Xykon fills up the roles of 'honest (if not good) role model' and 'dangerous rebellion enabler' in Tiasal's life, something that, provided that she hits puberty while still under his apprenticeship, would be very attractive to her.


Dear God. I'm thinking of a way for a walking skeleton and a prepubescent girl to fall in lust. (Not love. Tiasal may feel obsession and/or passion and/or lust for him, but I can't see it ever turning into love. Ditto with Xykon, minus the obsession and passion part.)

I wasn't debating the plausability, just the mind-numbing weirdness.

...any plans to atually write this?

[Asta Kask]

In response to the little fracas we had about literary qualities and the function of the Crack Pairings Thread, here's my analysis:

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This thread fills several different functions. 1) Humans are social creatures, and like to spend time with others who share the same interests. 2) Humans are narrative creatures, and like to share their stories with other people. Some of these stories will be good, most will be average and some will be decidedly sub-par, but by sharing them and getting criticism, people can get better. 3) Humans are sexual and romantic creatures, and are interested in telling stories about romantic and sexual situations. This is doubly true if the person is sexually frustrated (not 'repressed', as one poster described herself - that's the wrong word). I think this is a situation many of us could agree that they are in. 4) A lot of these stories are simple wish-fulfillment (not that there's anything wrong with that.), but some deal with plausible scenarios in a fantasy dress. Read through them and see for yourself.

[Water-Smurf]

And, like I said, there's nothing bad about that bit at all. It's perfectly in character when considered with everything else of yours I've read (which doesn't encompass half of your work at the moment, I'm sorry to say, but I hope to read it all eventually) and therefore completely believable. Sometimes, in real life and in fiction, a moment is so good, sweet, or right that it has to be a bit mushy.

Well, hopefully it wasn't gag-worthy. I'm trying to give V and Reddy the sweetness that they would naturally have after a few years of marriage without being too cheesy.

And Water-Smurf? You know what's funny?

All this could have been avoided if V had just told her parents not to do stuff like that around her.

She did. :<

Redcloak and V are, in the "Meet the Parents" story, a pair of Epic-level casters. If they want to kick out 2 pervy ghosts, they will, and the ghosts won't even be able to look at that region of the world until V and Reddy let them. And the ghosts probably know this.

Wouldn't that require really high-level spells? It seems like a lot of trouble to go through just to have sex in peace...

Xykon/Tiasal doesn't strike me as impossible, given the circumstances, but it does strike me as a quick way to make Redcloak try to kill him, not to mention making the pervy cleric revolt.

Huh. All Xykon has to do to keep his employees' loyalty is to not get it on with his apprentice. Standards are low.

(Wait, how cold a skeleton 'get it on'? I mean, I can see how he can do things to someone else, sure, but what about him...?)

They're still vulnerqable to force effects, like Interposing Hand. And if you had sex within a Prismatic Sphere, they likely couldn't see anything. Of course, having to cast a 9th-level spell to have sex in peace is a little odd, but...

Poor Reddy and V need to cast spells just to not be watched.

Speaking of V's parents, do you think they ever tried to set V and Aandy up on a date?

Oh, definitely. And then Aarindarius had a long talk with them about how it would be inappropriate for a teacher to have a romantic or sexual relationship with his student. And the lecture went in one ear and out the other.

*shudder*

At least Reddy's around to make sure that doesn't happen.

If the elf with the molten eyes was there, Vaarsuvius would just mumble something about needing to talk with him in private so Redcloak wouldn't walk in and find out about the victimization. Redcloak would need to pick up on Vaarsuvius's behavior and pull her away from the whole thing, but the elf with the molten eyes probably would be a little angry about someone taking the 'worthless bitch' away.

I wasn't debating the plausability, just the mind-numbing weirdness.

...any plans to atually write this?

I write what the characters demand I write.

[CoffeeIncluded]

She did. :<

And why didn't they listen? My respect for them has just fallen even more.

(Wait, how cold a skeleton 'get it on'? I mean, I can see how he can do things to someone else, sure, but what about him...?)

In the strip where Xykon is fighting the spirit paladins, he shouts "Gaah! I forgot how much pain tends to hurt!"

...Presumable it could work the other way too.

[Asta Kask]

And why didn't they listen? My respect for them has just fallen even more.

Because they said "She's just repressed. We need to take it out of her so that she can be truly happen."

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A friend of mine told a similar tale. She was 13 and her boyfriend was 14, and they were sitting on the couch holding hands, looking into each others' eyes and saying the sweet words teenagers tend to use at these times.

And then her mother popped in and said "I'm going to bed. By the way, the condoms are in the kitchen, top drawer."

*pause*

And then the boy says "I'll... I should probably go now."

[Sereg]

@DarkApprentice Thank you for the compliment. I could see that it was moving in a narmy direction but decided to just go with it.

@Oooohaloophole Alright, just please be respectful in the future.

@MReav a couple more that I forgot:
On meds
As part of their therapy

I’ve come up with an idea for Roy x Eugene. Needless to say, it’s pretty squicky. I’ll post it when I’ve finished.

[CoffeeIncluded]

Because they said "She's just repressed. We need to take it out of her so that she can be truly happen."

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A friend of mine told a similar tale. She was 13 and her boyfriend was 14, and they were sitting on the couch holding hands, looking into each others' eyes and saying the sweet words teenagers tend to use at these times.

And then her mother popped in and said "I'm going to bed. By the way, the condoms are in the kitchen, top drawer."

*pause*

And then the boy says "I'll... I should probably go now."

....PPffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff

I would probably say that. But only in a teasing manner. And only if I walked in on making out or something. Not for something like that.

I tend to do things if I find them funny, and nobody gets hurt.

[Oooohaloophole]

You know, If your playing "Ignore the ******* who cant decide wether or not he Hates/Loves the Thread " im fine With that.

About The Tiasal/Xycon thing I must say that she better realize that he is much more Manipulative than she thinks he is.

He is using Subtle manipulation into nudging her into the belief that she is evil. She is doing bad acts but is not EVIL. He is Telling her things she wants to think like When she Zombifies that rat and he tells her to kill it and tells her since she is already evil its ok. And She buys it, She is letting Xycon Shape Her psyche.

[Asta Kask]

....PPffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff

I would probably say that. But only in a teasing manner. And only if I walked in on making out or something. Not for something like that.

I tend to do things if I find them funny, and nobody gets hurt.

Yes. Now, imagine your mother doing it, and you can see how it is a case for justifiable homicide...

You know, If your playing "Ignore the ******* who can't decide wether or not he Hates/Loves the Thread " im fine With that.

Probably not, but I'm sad to say that a good way to be treated like a troll is to behave like one. You may have to do some penance before being taken seriously. How about working on a Roy/Miko pairing - that's fairly vanilla.

[CoffeeIncluded]

Yes. Now, imagine your mother doing it, and you can see how it is a case for justifiable homicide...

No, I don't think my mom would do it.

My dad and brother on the other hand...

But I'd just counter!

[Asta Kask]

I also heard about a brother who hid under his sister's bed and waited for her sister and her boyfriend. As things got heated atop the bed, the brother started sneezing (so - if you have an evil brother, poor cleaning is a good first line of defense). Another case of justifiable homicide.

[CoffeeIncluded]

I also heard about a brother who hid under his sister's bed and waited for her sister and her boyfriend. As things got heated atop the bed, the brother started sneezing (so - if you have an evil brother, poor cleaning is a good first line of defense). Another case of justifiable homicide.

Well, if that happened, everyone in the family would kill him.

As for the Under-The-Bed gambit...*Checks under bed* No way he'd fit there. And I've got a pretty good Spot check.

[Zanaril]

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A friend of mine told a similar tale. She was 13 and her boyfriend was 14, and they were sitting on the couch holding hands, looking into each others' eyes and saying the sweet words teenagers tend to use at these times.

And then her mother popped in and said "I'm going to bed. By the way, the condoms are in the kitchen, top drawer."

*pause*

And then the boy says "I'll... I should probably go now."

Is it weird that I don't see anything wrong with this?

[Asta Kask]

Is it weird that I don't se anything worng with this?

No. You may just have a more jaded realistic view of teenager sexuality.

[Zanaril]

No. You may just have a more jaded realistic view of teenager sexuality.

Jaded? I think it's cute!

[CoffeeIncluded]

Jaded? I think it's cute!

I find it hilarious and it's something I would likely do.

Oh, and you wanna hear something else I've witnessed that has now given me a bonus to Squick Saves?

Two words: Shadow Puppets.

ShadowDancer/Elan!

[Asta Kask]

I find it hilarious and it's something I would likely do.

Require condoms when you're 13 and alone with your 14 year old boyfriend?

...

I must have been really wrong about you.

[CoffeeIncluded]

Require condoms when you're 13 and alone with your 14 year old boyfriend?

...

I must have been really wrong about you.

What? NO! I'm talking about what her mom said!

[Asta Kask]

Well, one of us misunderstood Zanaril's comment. I took it to mean that the comment was probably warranted.

[CoffeeIncluded]

Well, one of us misunderstood Zanaril's comment. I took it to mean that the comment was probably warranted.

And I meant that I would (And DO) make jokes about that. I would never do something like that, even if I *Did* have a boyfriend when I was 13.

[Mariel Dragon]

I've updated my Immortal
http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showp...&postcount=824

I can already feel the stupid creeping into my brain, eroding my sanity.
STUP FLMING U POSR PREPS! GIEV DA GOD REVOUWS

[Zanaril]

Well, one of us misunderstood Zanaril's comment. I took it to mean that the comment was probably warranted.

I meant I don't see anything wrong with A) the possibility of 13/14 year olds having sex and B) their parents being concerned they're doing so safely rather than trying to dissuade the kids by making them think it's something bad.

[ShinyDelusion]

Ding, dong, the troll is gone.

My sentiments exactly, but, alas, it looks like, unsatisfied with failing to close the thread, he's back for more. And that is the last thing I will say about or to him.

Anyway, here's my first pairing. I'm not particularly confident in it, but I do appreciate comments.

Very nice for your first pairing. Sometimes it's hard to handle minor character like Zz'dtri that we didn't get to see much of and still stay consistent with what is known about them, but you seem to have done so quite well.

Hey all, just got back from seeing Sherlock Holmes. It was quite entertaining.


Back on topic, here's some more of "It All Started With A Kiss". I think I'll probably pick up Roy/Miko again soon, though.

Do you know if it stayed true to the books? A Holmes fan friend of mine who hasn't seen it yet is wondering.

Once again your fic has me literally laughing out loud and anxiously awaiting the next installment.

@Nathander Thanks for the compliment

@Closak, ShinyDelusion, Dark Apprentice and Dark_Stryke: Love your latest work.

@MReav Thanks. A few more:
To make someone else jealous
To save the world
Mind-control
Twins separated at birth
This is what the snarl actually does
In a watery environment
While under attack
Because of a literal genie
Because if they don’t they’ll die/get unmade
On the rebound
In jail/a dungeon
While playing strip-(insert game here)
Wardrobe malfunction

I humbly present this piece of narmtastic cheese:

My promised Haley x Celia fic:

WARNING: I hope you aren’t lactose intolerant because the stench of cheddar in this spoiler is enough to knock people out.



Ok. So I think it ended up rather cheesy and narmy, but hopefully ok for a first attempt at something like this.

I believe that I promised to do Roy x Eugene next.

Thanks for the compliment, nice additions, and don't worry; though narm was present, it wasn't half as cheesy as your warning suggested. I liked it.

Well, hopefully it wasn't gag-worthy. I'm trying to give V and Reddy the sweetness that they would naturally have after a few years of marriage without being too cheesy.

Definitely not gag-worthy. It might help you understand what I meant if I say that I don't equate "mushy" with "narm" (unless I say "mushy in a bad way").

(Wait, how cold a skeleton 'get it on'? I mean, I can see how he can do things to someone else, sure, but what about him...?)

Is that a rhetorical question, or are you actually looking for an answer?

[Zanaril]

Huh. All Xykon has to do to keep his employees' loyalty is to not get it on with his apprentice. Standards are low.

(Wait, how cold a skeleton 'get it on'? I mean, I can see how he can do things to someone else, sure, but what about him...?)

I just remembered this:
http://www.squidi.net/comic/amd/view.php?ep=3&id=66

but the elf with the molten eyes probably would be a little angry about someone taking the 'worthless bitch' away.

Luckily, that would only matter for as long as it takes to say "High level cleric .vs. NPC".

Oh, definitely. And then Aarindarius had a long talk with them about how it would be inappropriate for a teacher to have a romantic or sexual relationship with his student. And the lecture went in one ear and out the other.

And hilarity ensued?

What's sad is that - the age gap and teacher/student dynamic aside - I think Aandy would have been a much better match for V than Kyrie was.

[ShinyDelusion]

I just remembered this:
http://www.squidi.net/comic/amd/view.php?ep=3&id=66

BAHAHAHAHA! ... Whoa. So now we know, and knowing is half the battle!

[CoffeeIncluded]

I've updated my Immortal
http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showp...&postcount=824

I can already feel the stupid creeping into my brain, eroding my sanity.
STUP FLMING U POSR PREPS! GIEV DA GOD REVOUWS

My brain is trying to light itself on fire. I hope you're happy.

In other news, my therapist says that I need to get a boyfriend.

[ShinyDelusion]

My brain is trying to light itself on fire. I hope you're happy.

In other news, my therapist says that I need to get a boyfriend.

Never heard of that one before. With what reasons did your therapist justify this unorthodox prescription?

I'm working on the fic as we speak, by the way.

[CoffeeIncluded]

Never heard of that one before. What reasons did your therapist justify this unorthodox perscription with?

I'm working on the fic as we speak, by the way.

Among other things:

That the universe is conspiring against me in this regard

I channel my repressed sexual frustration into teasing my friends who actually have boyfriends, but I don't know when to stop. (Though there are a lot of other reasons for that one too.)

My self-esteem is basically non-existent.