Crack Pairings VIII - We Need A Half-Elf Template

[Kobold-Bard]

Easy solution - put a link in your OoTS signature! Encourages you to keep posting here and informs people about the other website

Not allowed to link to sites that break the rules (I think).

[Taekwondodo]

Not allowed to link to sites that break the rules (I think).

Yup, is not allowed. Would be a shame to lose this thread and Coffee's right, if we were to move away from this forum then the chance of attracting new people to post and write stories is much slimmer, especially if we were posting material not suited to this forum and, as such, unable to link from this forum.

[RabbitHoleLost]

Hi, guys.
I'm here from the Shipping thread, where we agree with what you've all already come to. However, if I speak on behalf of the Ship Thread (which I may not, who knows), I'd like to ask if maybe you'd be willing to work together with us.

In my own experience, taking something from Giant and trying to make it work elsewhere is hard.
Enupnion, for example, was FFRP on another forum, and, while it thrived for a while, people do lose interest, and, as you've all already come to see, its hard to get new blood in.
We still have the rule that its not allowed to link to things that break The Playground's rules, so there goes the option of linking directly to the offending material.
On the same grounds, though, I've seen people link to their dirty, dirty deviantart accounts...and what if there was the general section, the clean fanservice and shipping and pairing things, and that was where the link directed to, and then, you know, the usual 18+ area?


Edit: Also, there's the FaceBook Playground group, which I'm sure would link the site.
I'd have to ask Cobra Ikari, though, since he runs it.

[CoffeeIncluded]

Hi, guys.
I'm here from the Shipping thread, where we agree with what you've all already come to. However, if I speak on behalf of the Ship Thread (which I may not, who knows), I'd like to ask if maybe you'd be willing to work together with us.

In my own experience, taking something from Giant and trying to make it work elsewhere is hard.
Enupnion, for example, was FFRP on another forum, and, while it thrived for a while, people do lose interest, and, as you've all already come to see, its hard to get new blood in.
We still have the rule that its not allowed to link to things that break The Playground's rules, so there goes the option of linking directly to the offending material.
On the same grounds, though, I've seen people link to their dirty, dirty deviantart accounts...and what if there was the general section, the clean fanservice and shipping and pairing things, and that was where the link directed to, and then, you know, the usual 18+ area?


Edit: Also, there's the FaceBook Playground group, which I'm sure would link the site.
I'd have to ask Cobra Ikari, though, since he runs it.

Once again, we'd have to speak with Roland.

...And I don't have a facebook.

[RabbitHoleLost]

The facebook thing was more or less so we could corral people to the actual site.
You know, Playgrounders on Facebook uninvolved in shipping and crackpairing and fanservice join the Facebook group, see the link, click, join...and we have new initiates creators.

[Asta Kask]

Perhaps we should start a thread in the Ramble forum to discuss how to save what can be saved.

These are my thoughts on the situation:

Spoiler

Show

The Final Countdown

We're leaving together
but still it's farewell
and maybe we'll come back,
to earth, who can tell?

I guess there is no one to blame
we're leaving ground (leaving ground)
will things ever be the same again?
It's the final countdown.

The final countdown.

Oh, We're heading for Venus (Venus)
and still we stand tall
cause maybe they've seen us
and welcome us all, yeah
with so many light years to go
and things to be found (to be found)
I'm sure that we'll all miss her so
It's the final countdown.

The final countdown.

The final countdown (final countdown).

[The Succubus]

Aye - a thread for the shipping, FS and CP to talk about what to do would be good. Should it go in Friendly Banter, Board Issues, Arts, etc?

The potential loss in community members is a valid concern, as well as having a readership. Writing stuff like this for each other is all well and good but everyone likes it when a random passer-by drops in and asks what it's all about. There is, however, a flipside to this coin. I can't speak for other members but I don't frequent the FS thread all that often and was only dimly aware of the Shipping thread. Having similar minds all in one place could be the basis for a good community, although I would worry a lot about how quickly things could spiral out of control.

Some of the unsuitable topics mentioned by Roland are very disturbing, especially the stuff referencing minors. How long, honestly, could we keep stuff like that under control before being banned, etc?


In any case, we need to talk to our fellows in the other threads - and we need to do it soon, as a group.

[Tira-chan]

Wow. I'm really sorry to hear the news. Even if I don't post very often, I do check every day, and I'll really miss it if it does go. I did get a ff.net account, but I've got to wait a couple of days to post anything (which it managed to be quite roundabout in telling me).

Well here's the next update of my chapter. I went with hordes of undead - would that be a reasonable threat?

Spoiler

Show

First Officer’s Log, Stardate: still unknown, est. 2259.20
I have spent close to a week in this universe, and I am still learning more about it. It appears to be a very violent place; random attacks from marauding beasts are not rare, and we have very recently uncovered the ruins of what appears to be burial grounds of antiquity, riddled with magically animated skeletons. Ms. Starshine, a member of the party, has insisted that we investigate them thoroughly, expressing excitement about the contents of these ruins. I quite agree with her sentiments, as they look to promise the most interesting archaeological evidence that will be useful in the analysis of this planet’s inhabitants.

I have also increased my knowledge of magic; Vaarsuvius, who is acting as my instructor, says that I, since I gain experience at the same rate as the far more advanced Order, will soon be ready to learn second level spells. I have chosen to specialize in Conjuration, a most useful school which Vaarsuvius has rather illogically neglected. While it is highly unlikely that I shall advance to the point of performing the necessary spell to return myself home, I have found that simple magic is quite useful in attempting to repair some of my equipment. Hopefully, I shall be able to return to my duties upon the Enterprise before too long.

---

It had been a long day for the Order. Haley had recognized the ruins of an Ancient Society Inordinately Fond of Gold immediately, and insisted that they raid the whole of it. Unfortunately, her Disable Device checks had not gone quite so well as her Knowledge (Places that might have treasure) check had, and the Order had fought off more hordes of undead than Roy really felt was necessary. He had drawn the line when Haley wanted to head farther into the third structure. Their casters were low on spells, and, as he explained to her, if the gold was still there after all those centuries, it could probably wait until tomorrow. Currently, they were attempting to recover from the last battle; Haley was picking up gold and salvaging as many arrows as possible, while Durkon tended to a nasty cut Elan had gotten, and Roy tried to total up the experience they had gotten, shared out over seven people instead of six for once. The rest were still inside the tomb, though gods only knew what they were up to.

For once, Belkar and Vaarsuvius were engaging in the same activity, cleaning up from the last battle. Their methods could not have been more different, however; while the elf was brushing every minute speck of skeleton dust possible off, Belkar spat on his knives, and wiped the remains of a few mummies on his own cloak.

"So," the halfling said suddenly, bored enough to talk to Vaarsuvius, "how’ve your little 'magic lessons' been going?"

Vaarsuvius was sharp enough to hear the quotes, but ignored them. "Very well, actually. Mr. Spock has proven to be quite adept with the spells he has mastered so far, though he could perhaps stand to practice his summoning more often. It is a fault for which I fear I may be the cause, since I am unable to provide much in the way of actual experience, merely what few notes I have taken –"

"Good gods, elf, do you think I actually care?" A nasty smile spread across Belkar’s face. "Y'know, you and your little boyfriend have gotten awfully close. It’s disgusting, frankly. I mean, all things considered…"

Blackwing paused his preening on Vaarsuvius’ shoulder, suddenly attending to the conversation. "Don’t let him get to you," he hissed into his master’s ear. "Remember the marketplace?" But it was too late – Vaarsuvius had already been sucked into the conversation.

"What things is your puny intellect considering? Surely there cannot be any great number of them."

"Well, let’s see… that imaginary pet you’ve been carrying around for the last few weeks? The fact that, according to Beardy McBeerstein, you’ve been off your rocker since Roy died? Your recent jaunt to the dark side – how did that end, anyways? Xykon too much for your superior, stuck-up ass? Or maybe… Maybe you should mention the fact that you’re married?"

"No, no, no…" whispered the raven but it was too late. A look of rage washed over the elf’s features.

"How dare you," snarled Vaarsuvius. "Do you intend to pass judgment on me, you amoral cretin?"

Belkar smirked, too pleased with himself to notice that the elf had raised a hand threateningly. "I dunno, Ears, who do you think has been more evil around here lately? I’m not the one who’s been alternating between flying around in all black and cheating on my mate."

The hand began to move sharply, glowing as Vaarsuvius formed the arcane pattern of a potent spell. "You have gone too far! Perhaps from now on you will know better than to insult those who could crush you, you miserable little monster! Chain Li-"

A surprisingly strong hand grasped the elf’s arm before the spell could be completed. "That is quite enough. Such violence between members of the same group is completely unacceptable." Vaarsuvius spun around, sharp words dancing on the elf’s lips, which died at the sight of Spock’s perfectly composed expression. Belkar, cackling evilly, ran off; the halfling knew a good diversion when he saw one.

There was a pause, measured stare meeting angry glare. Vaarsuvius, feeling the anger starting to leave, jerked free, shaking the hand to relieve the slight sting of the failed spell.

"Perhaps it was illogical of me to expect proper behavior from Mr. Bitterleaf, as he has long shown himself to be unwilling to restrain himself at all, but I had supposed you were above such a display," Spock remarked drily.

"He insulted me,” muttered Vaarsuvius, not looking at the Vulcan. “His behavior was uncalled for – a violation – it was not within his rights to say the things he did – I am nothing like him…" The words trailed away.

Spock did not seem deterred in the least; to the contrary, Vaarsuvius recognized the expression that suggested an inimitably long lecture. It was one the elf used rather often. "What he said was irrelevant. You should not allow your emotions to master you. If one does not properly control oneself, it can result in some extremely… ill-advised actions. It can be… tempting … to give into rage but if you harm a member of your party, your crew…" The Vulcan paused, momentarily lost in thought, but Vaarsuvius was not attending.

The rage, the anger, the hate, and then, the sweet release of the spell, the rush of a truly epic spell… the death, the destruction, the bits of body everywhere, it had all felt so good, so right. The horror on their faces… the dragon was shocked… and Kyrie, and the children, they were scared, they were disgusted, they were gone… Vaarsuvius felt as if the already cramped tomb was closing in, suffocating them, while words, too many words clustered around them. Disregarding the lecture the elf turned and ran, dashing not towards the entrance but farther into the tomb, into the cool darkness where nobody was watching you. Blackwing fluttered off in surprise. "Vaarsuvius!" he cawed. "Get back here, we haven’t gone that way yet!" There was no response. With a sigh, the bird settled on the shoulder of the Vulcan. "Sorry about that. Little temperamental, huh?" he commented.

"Indeed," Spock replied, not quite attending. He did not know how to respond; as the doctor had pointed out several times, he had very little experience in interpersonal relationships. Nyota had… but of course, that was out of the question. He stood there for a minute, relishing the silence.

It did not last long. From farther into the tomb, there was a quiet thud, followed by a grinding noise, and what was probably an expletive in Elvish. Spock did not pause for a moment, dashing after the noise. This time Blackwing was more aware and avoided being dumped. The bird sighed again. It looked like it was going to be one of those days.

I don't know about the rest of you, but even if the thread does go belly up, I'm keeping my signature.

ETA: I forgot to mention, in honor of getting it ready to go on ff.net, I've titled my story! I'm thinking of calling it "Touching and Touched." Chapt. 1 is "First Contact," 2 is "Dancing Lights," 3 is "Interlude: Captain's Log," and this one would be "Explosive Recollections."

[Debatra]

Honestly, the best thing we can do about this is get these things back on-topic, preferably starting now. We can take the "where do we go for Crack Pairings" discussion to the OotS forum on FFNet if it happens, but for now, let's get back on track.

Incidently, I now have a basic idea for the beginning of my next project: Miko's plan doesn't quite work how she expected. When she's not looking, one of the ogres bashes her head with a club, knocking her out. The Order finishes up the job on their own, and takes Miko while they move on. She wakes up later, and well, the plot begins.

[Lix Lorn]

Well here's the next update of my chapter. I went with hordes of undead - would that be a reasonable threat?

Awesomely awesome, as expected.

[Taekwondodo]

Wow. I'm really sorry to hear the news. Even if I don't post very often, I do check every day, and I'll really miss it if it does go. I did get a ff.net account, but I've got to wait a couple of days to post anything (which it managed to be quite roundabout in telling me).

Well here's the next update of my chapter. I went with hordes of undead - would that be a reasonable threat?

Spoiler

Show

First Officer’s Log, Stardate: still unknown, est. 2259.20
I have spent close to a week in this universe, and I am still learning more about it. It appears to be a very violent place; random attacks from marauding beasts are not rare, and we have very recently uncovered the ruins of what appears to be burial grounds of antiquity, riddled with magically animated skeletons. Ms. Starshine, a member of the party, has insisted that we investigate them thoroughly, expressing excitement about the contents of these ruins. I quite agree with her sentiments, as they look to promise the most interesting archaeological evidence that will be useful in the analysis of this planet’s inhabitants.

I have also increased my knowledge of magic; Vaarsuvius, who is acting as my instructor, says that I, since I gain experience at the same rate as the far more advanced Order, will soon be ready to learn second level spells. I have chosen to specialize in Conjuration, a most useful school which Vaarsuvius has rather illogically neglected. While it is highly unlikely that I shall advance to the point of performing the necessary spell to return myself home, I have found that simple magic is quite useful in attempting to repair some of my equipment. Hopefully, I shall be able to return to my duties upon the Enterprise before too long.

---

It had been a long day for the Order. Haley had recognized the ruins of an Ancient Society Inordinately Fond of Gold immediately, and insisted that they raid the whole of it. Unfortunately, her Disable Device checks had not gone quite so well as her Knowledge (Places that might have treasure) check had, and the Order had fought off more hordes of undead than Roy really felt was necessary. He had drawn the line when Haley wanted to head farther into the third structure. Their casters were low on spells, and, as he explained to her, if the gold was still there after all those centuries, it could probably wait until tomorrow. Currently, they were attempting to recover from the last battle; Haley was picking up gold and salvaging as many arrows as possible, while Durkon tended to a nasty cut Elan had gotten, and Roy tried to total up the experience they had gotten, shared out over seven people instead of six for once. The rest were still inside the tomb, though gods only knew what they were up to.

For once, Belkar and Vaarsuvius were engaging in the same activity, cleaning up from the last battle. Their methods could not have been more different, however; while the elf was brushing every minute speck of skeleton dust possible off, Belkar spat on his knives, and wiped the remains of a few mummies on his own cloak.

"So," the halfling said suddenly, bored enough to talk to Vaarsuvius, "how’ve your little 'magic lessons' been going?"

Vaarsuvius was sharp enough to hear the quotes, but ignored them. "Very well, actually. Mr. Spock has proven to be quite adept with the spells he has mastered so far, though he could perhaps stand to practice his summoning more often. It is a fault for which I fear I may be the cause, since I am unable to provide much in the way of actual experience, merely what few notes I have taken –"

"Good gods, elf, do you think I actually care?" A nasty smile spread across Belkar’s face. "Y'know, you and your little boyfriend have gotten awfully close. It’s disgusting, frankly. I mean, all things considered…"

Blackwing paused his preening on Vaarsuvius’ shoulder, suddenly attending to the conversation. "Don’t let him get to you," he hissed into his master’s ear. "Remember the marketplace?" But it was too late – Vaarsuvius had already been sucked into the conversation.

"What things is your puny intellect considering? Surely there cannot be any great number of them."

"Well, let’s see… that imaginary pet you’ve been carrying around for the last few weeks? The fact that, according to Beardy McBeerstein, you’ve been off your rocker since Roy died? Your recent jaunt to the dark side – how did that end, anyways? Xykon too much for your superior, stuck-up ass? Or maybe… Maybe you should mention the fact that you’re married?"

"No, no, no…" whispered the raven but it was too late. A look of rage washed over the elf’s features.

"How dare you," snarled Vaarsuvius. "Do you intend to pass judgment on me, you amoral cretin?"

Belkar smirked, too pleased with himself to notice that the elf had raised a hand threateningly. "I dunno, Ears, who do you think has been more evil around here lately? I’m not the one who’s been alternating between flying around in all black and cheating on my mate."

The hand began to move sharply, glowing as Vaarsuvius formed the arcane pattern of a potent spell. "You have gone too far! Perhaps from now on you will know better than to insult those who could crush you, you miserable little monster! Chain Li-"

A surprisingly strong hand grasped the elf’s arm before the spell could be completed. "That is quite enough. Such violence between members of the same group is completely unacceptable." Vaarsuvius spun around, sharp words dancing on the elf’s lips, which died at the sight of Spock’s perfectly composed expression. Belkar, cackling evilly, ran off; the halfling knew a good diversion when he saw one.

There was a pause, measured stare meeting angry glare. Vaarsuvius, feeling the anger starting to leave, jerked free, shaking the hand to relieve the slight sting of the failed spell.

"Perhaps it was illogical of me to expect proper behavior from Mr. Bitterleaf, as he has long shown himself to be unwilling to restrain himself at all, but I had supposed you were above such a display," Spock remarked drily.

"He insulted me,” muttered Vaarsuvius, not looking at the Vulcan. “His behavior was uncalled for – a violation – it was not within his rights to say the things he did – I am nothing like him…" The words trailed away.

Spock did not seem deterred in the least; to the contrary, Vaarsuvius recognized the expression that suggested an inimitably long lecture. It was one the elf used rather often. "What he said was irrelevant. You should not allow your emotions to master you. If one does not properly control oneself, it can result in some extremely… ill-advised actions. It can be… tempting … to give into rage but if you harm a member of your party, your crew…" The Vulcan paused, momentarily lost in thought, but Vaarsuvius was not attending.

The rage, the anger, the hate, and then, the sweet release of the spell, the rush of a truly epic spell… the death, the destruction, the bits of body everywhere, it had all felt so good, so right. The horror on their faces… the dragon was shocked… and Kyrie, and the children, they were scared, they were disgusted, they were gone… Vaarsuvius felt as if the already cramped tomb was closing in, suffocating them, while words, too many words clustered around them. Disregarding the lecture the elf turned and ran, dashing not towards the entrance but farther into the tomb, into the cool darkness where nobody was watching you. Blackwing fluttered off in surprise. "Vaarsuvius!" he cawed. "Get back here, we haven’t gone that way yet!" There was no response. With a sigh, the bird settled on the shoulder of the Vulcan. "Sorry about that. Little temperamental, huh?" he commented.

"Indeed," Spock replied, not quite attending. He did not know how to respond; as the doctor had pointed out several times, he had very little experience in interpersonal relationships. Nyota had… but of course, that was out of the question. He stood there for a minute, relishing the silence.

It did not last long. From farther into the tomb, there was a quiet thud, followed by a grinding noise, and what was probably an expletive in Elvish. Spock did not pause for a moment, dashing after the noise. This time Blackwing was more aware and avoided being dumped. The bird sighed again. It looked like it was going to be one of those days.

I don't know about the rest of you, but even if the thread does go belly up, I'm keeping my signature.

ETA: I forgot to mention, in honor of getting it ready to go on ff.net, I've titled my story! I'm thinking of calling it "Touching and Touched." Chapt. 1 is "First Contact," 2 is "Dancing Lights," 3 is "Interlude: Captain's Log," and this one would be "Explosive Recollections."

*Squees in delight*

[CoffeeIncluded]

Nice one, Tira-chan! See! Board-friendly AND cracky! It can be done!

[Sereg]

That was very good Tira-chan.

@Debatra: Sounds good to me.

@Rabbitholelost: If we can work together to form a pleasant solution for all parties, then I'm all for it.

[Debatra]

Hmm. Is amnesia on the roller?

EDIT: And since I just realised the implication, I can specifically say that no; Miko does not get amnesia from the blow to the head in my fic.

[CurlyKitGirl]

Hi, I'm from the Shipping threads and I just finished posting a Shipping and Forum Rules post which set out to find out which rules we were skirting, on the verge of breaking and whatnot.
I think it would be a good idea for people from this thread and the fanservice ones to do a similar thing and then discuss and set out thread specific rules so that we can avoid getting our threas shut down.
I link to my post as, although it's mostly shipping specific I think it's an okay guideline to starting to analyse where and how we are starting to worry the mods. If someone with more experience from the other threads starts doing a similar thing for each of their own threads I believe it would be very useful.

[Tira-chan]

Wow, it's my fastest update ever! Thank you for all the kind words - I didn't think anyone would still be interested in my story.

Not Alone in the Dark

Spoiler

Show

First Officer's Log, Supplemental
There has been an altercation between Vaarsuvius and Mr. Bitterleaf, which I intercepted before anyone was hurt. Vaarsuvius has disappeared further into the ruins, which are likely to be heavily trapped and infested with the undead. I have decided to investigate, after hearing what seems to be a disturbance up ahead. Hopefully, I shall be able to offer assistance before the situation becomes too dangerous.

---

Spock followed Vaarsuvius' path further into the tomb, a Dancing Lights spell the only illumination. He finally found the elf in another burial chamber, surrounded by its undead denizens. There were dozens of cuts on the elf's face from their spears. Despite the ankle pinned by a misplaced rock, scattered bones indicated that Vaarsuvius had fought back quite well, but a lucky grapple attempt by a skeleton had put a stop to that. Spock drew his phaser and fired, neatly disintegrating the skeleton and drawing the attention of the rest of the horde.

He tried to fire again, but there was no response. Between the dimensional travel and week of neglect, much of the charge seemed to have drained. He dropped the useless device, calculations of the odds dashing through his mind unbidden. A spell would be his best option, but he only had a few remaining. If he misfired even once.…

"Fireball!" The whole swarm was engulfed by flames, and light flooded the cavern. Spock blinked a bit. Vaarsuvius was sitting up, looking cross and tired. Blackwing fluttered over.

"Impressive," Spock remarked, making his way across the slightly smoldering remains. "I am sorry if I startled you, Vaarsuvius. Perhaps it was not logical for me to come myself. You are far more experienced than I."

"Not at all. You provided an excellent distraction. I was not able to use some of my more powerful spells with them so close." There was a slightly pregnant pause. Blackwing nudged Vaarsuvius with his beak. "I apologize for my behavior early," Vaarsuvius said at last, sounding more cross than apologetic. "It was idiotic of me."

"Perhaps not the best choice, no," he remarked, pushing the rock aside and kneeling down to examine the elf. "Are you hurt anywhere?"

"No." Another pause, another nudge from Blackwing. "You were correct in what you said. I cannot allow myself to lose control. I will eventually do something extremely regrettable." Vaarsuvius looked down, seeming almost ashamed. "No – I have already done something I regret."

"I have been told I am not particularly skilled as a confidant, but if you do wish to tell me…"

A shake of the head. "I would prefer not to mention it."

'Very well then. You are sure you are unharmed?" He moved his hand delicately across the elf's face, feeling for any wounds. It paused momentarily at Vaarsuvius' ear. The elf trembled a bit. "They are surprisingly different in shape," Spock remarked.

"Yes…" The usual verbosity was gone, as delicate hand held delicate ear. Their faces were very close together, for a moment that seemed to last an eternity.

And then, someone leaned a little closer…

The kiss lasted only a second or so, until both of them moved back, as if they were startled that the other reciprocated. Blackwing crowed quietly. An attitude of abject embarrassment seemed to suddenly permeate the scene.

Vaarsuvius broke the silence this time, thankful the dim light hid what might have been a blush. "I apolgize for having taken any liberties – I was not thinking – my ears are… unusually sensitive."

"I do not believe you need to apologize. I would certainly not characterize your response as unpleasant." He changed the subject quickly. "Your ankle appears to be injured. Do you need any assistance? I could carry you if you cannot support your weight."

"It does not work like that," snapped Vaarsuvius. "As long as my hitpoints remain, I am perfectly capable of walk – urgh." The elf staggered painfully. "Perhaps a little support would not be amiss.”

Arm in arm, they headed for the mouth of the tomb.

This is probably about the limit of any actual romance that is going to happen.

[CoffeeIncluded]

Wow, it's my fastest update ever! Thank you for all the kind words - I didn't think anyone would still be interested in my story.

Not Alone in the Dark

Spoiler

Show

First Officer's Log, Supplemental
There has been an altercation between Vaarsuvius and Mr. Bitterleaf, which I intercepted before anyone was hurt. Vaarsuvius has disappeared further into the ruins, which are likely to be heavily trapped and infested with the undead. I have decided to investigate, after hearing what seems to be a disturbance up ahead. Hopefully, I shall be able to offer assistance before the situation becomes too dangerous.

---

Spock followed Vaarsuvius' path further into the tomb, a Dancing Lights spell the only illumination. He finally found the elf in another burial chamber, surrounded by its undead denizens. There were dozens of cuts on the elf's face from their spears. Despite the ankle pinned by a misplaced rock, scattered bones indicated that Vaarsuvius had fought back quite well, but a lucky grapple attempt by a skeleton had put a stop to that. Spock drew his phaser and fired, neatly disintegrating the skeleton and drawing the attention of the rest of the horde.

He tried to fire again, but there was no response. Between the dimensional travel and week of neglect, much of the charge seemed to have drained. He dropped the useless device, calculations of the odds dashing through his mind unbidden. A spell would be his best option, but he only had a few remaining. If he misfired even once.…

"Fireball!" The whole swarm was engulfed by flames, and light flooded the cavern. Spock blinked a bit. Vaarsuvius was sitting up, looking cross and tired. Blackwing fluttered over.

"Impressive," Spock remarked, making his way across the slightly smoldering remains. "I am sorry if I startled you, Vaarsuvius. Perhaps it was not logical for me to come myself. You are far more experienced than I."

"Not at all. You provided an excellent distraction. I was not able to use some of my more powerful spells with them so close." There was a slightly pregnant pause. Blackwing nudged Vaarsuvius with his beak. "I apologize for my behavior early," Vaarsuvius said at last, sounding more cross than apologetic. "It was idiotic of me."

"Perhaps not the best choice, no," he remarked, pushing the rock aside and kneeling down to examine the elf. "Are you hurt anywhere?"

"No." Another pause, another nudge from Blackwing. "You were correct in what you said. I cannot allow myself to lose control. I will eventually do something extremely regrettable." Vaarsuvius looked down, seeming almost ashamed. "No – I have already done something I regret."

"I have been told I am not particularly skilled as a confidant, but if you do wish to tell me…"

A shake of the head. "I would prefer not to mention it."

'Very well then. You are sure you are unharmed?" He moved his hand delicately across the elf's face, feeling for any wounds. It paused momentarily at Vaarsuvius' ear. The elf trembled a bit. "They are surprisingly different in shape," Spock remarked.

"Yes…" The usual verbosity was gone, as delicate hand held delicate ear. Their faces were very close together, for a moment that seemed to last an eternity.

And then, someone leaned a little closer…

The kiss lasted only a second or so, until both of them moved back, as if they were startled that the other reciprocated. Blackwing crowed quietly. An attitude of abject embarrassment seemed to suddenly permeate the scene.

Vaarsuvius broke the silence this time, thankful the dim light hid what might have been a blush. "I apolgize for having taken any liberties – I was not thinking – my ears are… unusually sensitive."

"I do not believe you need to apologize. I would certainly not characterize your response as unpleasant." He changed the subject quickly. "Your ankle appears to be injured. Do you need any assistance? I could carry you if you cannot support your weight."

"It does not work like that," snapped Vaarsuvius. "As long as my hitpoints remain, I am perfectly capable of walk – urgh." The elf staggered painfully. "Perhaps a little support would not be amiss.”

Arm and arm, they headed for the mouth of the tomb.

This is probably about the limit of any actual romance that is going to happen.

Wow. Fast AND good!

[half-halfling]

Great stories, Tira-chan! I especially liked Spock calling Belkar "mr. Bitterleaf"

[CWater]

I truly like your story Tira-chan! And two updates in a row! That second one was really cute! And I find your interpretation of the characters to be quite convincing.

[Lix Lorn]

This is probably about the limit of any actual romance that is going to happen.

Well, an elf like V and a Vulcan. XD It'd be worrying if they were gushing.

[Tira-chan]

Well, an elf like V and a Vulcan. XD It'd be worrying if they were gushing.

*flashes back to romantic!Spock from This Side of Paradise* Yeah, that was disturbing. Though their parting will probably be slightly mushy, and once again reference Amok Time.

Right now I am justifying the existence of this fic with The Enterprise Incident. (Kirk and Spock enact daring secret mission to rob the Romulans! Kirk pretends to be crazy, dead, and a Romulan, while Spock flirts with Romulan Commander Chick!) I would say V, with her ruthlessness and fondness for explosions, has more in common with the Romulans than the Vulcans, at least in TOS, though V dresses far more modestly than Romulan Commander Chick.

I have also been marathoning TOS and drinking caffeine, can you tell?

[Lix Lorn]

Creepy, good points, and no I can't, but my sensors are off. DXD

[Water-Smurf]

Hi, I'm from the Shipping threads and I just finished posting a Shipping and Forum Rules post which set out to find out which rules we were skirting, on the verge of breaking and whatnot.
I think it would be a good idea for people from this thread and the fanservice ones to do a similar thing and then discuss and set out thread specific rules so that we can avoid getting our threas shut down.
I link to my post as, although it's mostly shipping specific I think it's an okay guideline to starting to analyse where and how we are starting to worry the mods. If someone with more experience from the other threads starts doing a similar thing for each of their own threads I believe it would be very useful.

*laughs nervously* And that's why I moved most of my stuff to FF. But yeah, it's good that we're trying to work together. Has anyone reached out to the fanservice thread? From what I vaguely know of Shipping, that thread's fine, and if I just put a really tight leash on myself, crack pairings would be cleaned up pretty well, but I'm worried about the fanservice guys. I've seen some of their stuff--it's not so much fanservice as softcore porn. (And sometimes more than that, depending on your definition.) By their very nature, it'd be hard to clean up that thread.

But back on topic, I managed to squeeze out a PotG update. It's short and sloppy, but I've spent so long on my duff being all emo that I figured that anything I can write is better than nothing. I've also looked it over and I can't think of anything that would break the rules. This story's pretty easy to keep safe, considering the fact that no one's hooked up yet. So here you go!

Spoiler

Show

Yutrin squinted up, shaking a little in place. It didn’t look like the sky really existed—there was only the sun, no blue, and if he concentrated, he saw the shifting stars—but it was all he had to navigate. The sun was so vicious that it burned his skin, but he could deal with that. Burnt skin wasn’t so bad next to the eminent threat before him.

He was carefully perched on the windowsill of a house near the edge of the water, trying to re-bandage his feet. The cuts were healing, but the feet themselves were swollen, like something deep within the wounds were forming, and they were warm to touch. It didn’t exactly take his experience as a cleric to know that they were infected.

And he didn’t have any tools to take care of them. He ran the risk of developing gangrene, and if he did, if he was lucky he would only lose his feet. If he wasn’t lucky, he would die.

Fear clutched his heart tightly, but he struggled to push it away, biting his lip hard and trying to imagine Jalyamir standing behind him, her laugh rolling into his ears. “Keep it together. It’s not like running’s going to help. You’ve got a pregnant lady to take care of now, though why you’ll take care of a human when the baby’s not yours is beyond me…”

“It’s the right thing to do.”

“If I turned up pregnant in this wasteland with her husband, do you think he would do even half what you’re doing for her or do you think that I’d be skewered?”

Yutrin sighed, wondering briefly if the sun had made him crack or if he was having a private moral crisis. “The Dark One teaches that we should treat each other with love and respect.”

“Each other. As in, goblins. Not humans. Humans like to stick us full of pointy things and serve us for XP.”

“Humans may be morally corrupt, but that doesn’t mean that I have to be.” Yutrin swallowed hard, making sure his feet were wrapped tight before slipping on a pair of old sandals he had found. “Mijung won’t be able to survive here on her own. I’m going to stay with her for as long as she and the baby needs me. I’m the only one with medical experience who she can trust.”

He carefully stepped to the ground, wincing at the pain a little afraid to look around incase he actually did see Jalyamir standing behind him.

“But can you trust her? Mark my words—if you keep this up, the only thing you’ll get is a knife to the throat once she and the baby get hungry. If you even survive that long.”

“I won’t. I won’t survive that long.” And the thought terrified him.

Gritting his teeth past the agony in his feet, he stepped through the field of glass towards the only place he knew had food—the wild.

---

Mijung squatted over the ground, careful to keep any of her skin from touching the twisted glass and metal, and took a pinch of dirt between her fingers, only to have it dryly crumble with a feeble huff and fall back to the earth.

There was no way anything could grow in that.

She sighed softly and stood up, looking around at the abandoned homes and wasteland that lay beyond, then glancing at the sky, frowning at how artificial it all looked. The sun was jerking along unevenly, the stars moved around in shapes and forms, uncaring for the laws of physics and astronomy, and the sky itself remained black despite the big ball of fire going across.

This was probably caused by the deities that had been torturing her.

She ran her hands through her hair, banishing thought of anything related to them in her mind, the broken heart locket and the obsidian amulet around her neck heavy against her chest. Maybe she would be able to find out more about them. She had found several books in the houses around theirs—if she could just translate it, then she would be able to see what the people from before knew…

“Mijung? What are you doing out here?”

She turned around to see a familiar goblin with a water skin and a basket staring at her.

“Just because I’m pregnant doesn’t mean that I can’t be useful, so stop treating me like it.” She scowled irritably and gestured to the land around them. “I’ve been exploring to see if there’s anything else we can salvage. And I’ve confirmed that the land is useless for agriculture, but maybe that can be fixed with work.”

Yutrin’s ears twitched curiously, then he smiled. “Right. I’m sorry—I forget that humans have different ways of taking care of pregnant women than goblins do.”

He walked to the house they had taken up, pushing the door open and putting the water skin and the basket down besides the water and berries he had already brought. “Whenever a woman is pregnant or gives birth, my entire village takes care of her and the baby to make sure they’re safe. We mean no insult towards her ability to look after herself—it’s just the only way goblins can make sure the next generation can survive.”

“You’re whole village?” Mijung’s scowl only deepened, crossing her arms over her chest, a flash of unnecessary anger bursting in her chest. “What about the father? Does he just forget about it or are your goblin women never sure who it is?”

Yutrin turned to look at her, ears twitching, eyes expressionless.

Her stiff shoulders drooped a little and the anger subsided as quickly as it came. “Sorry. That was uncalled for.”

“I don’t expect a human to know much about goblins.” He slipped into the house, and Mijung noticed a limp in his gait. “That’s probably why you’re always clearing us out.”

Mijung winced a little at the bitterness in his voice, inwardly scolding herself before walking in the house. Evil creature or no, this goblin had been doing nothing but help her since they ended up here, and here she was, insulting his culture, his home, and his species without knowing much beyond what her husband had told her.

She leaned on the wall, but he ignored her, focusing on boiling their water at the fireplace.

“So, um, why does the whole village take care of her? Why not the father?” she asked, sitting slowly on the foot of the bed.

His ears twitched, but he didn’t turn to look at her. “It’s hard to live as a goblin for long. The father always takes care of his pregnant mate.” He carefully took a red-hot rock out of the fire with tongs and put it in the water, capping the basket with a cloth to keep the steam inside. “It’s hormonal. But the village is required to protect her and any young children because, without their protection, elves and humans would slaughter them. One man can’t stand against that.”

Mijung crossed her legs, staring at the fire and trying to ignore the frosty pause. “You seem to know a lot about this. Do you have kids?”

That got him to look up at her, albeit with an arched eyebrow. “How young do humans have kids?”

“You’re supposed to wait until your twenties or thirties.”

“How old do you think I am?” Yutrin tossed a rock into the fire. “Mijung, I’m barely old enough to be looking for a mate. I’m sixteen.”

“Wait, seriously? You’re a teenager?” Mijung’s eyebrows shot up.

“Young adult. Sixteen is the very beginning of adulthood for goblins.” He looked back at the flames, concentrating on what he was doing.

“And you’re what level?”

“We learn fast. We get levels quickly. We have to—we only live until we’re fifty at the latest.” He tossed a rock in the water, making sure to keep in all the steam. “Where are you from? I lived in the Elven Lands. There were only a few human settlements there. I’ve never really spoken to someone besides a goblin.”

His ears were perked. He was more curious than he was letting on.

“I’m from Azure City, in the Southern Continent. My husband and I were visiting the Elven Lands as messengers, where I fell into the rift.”

“Do you have children?”

“No.” Mijung rested a hand on her stomach, letting out a nervous chuckle. “This… this’ll be my first.”

Yutrin stared at the fire for a while, then looked back at her, softening. “Come sit next to me. Sunset will be soon, and it’s already cold.”

She sat next to him in front of the flames. They stayed a couple inches apart, still too frightened to touch, but the silence was more comfortable.

“Tell me about Azure City. I’ve never lived anywhere but my village—what’s it like with all the people? And the government? And the schooling?”

Mijung perked, eager in recognizing a fellow curious spirit. “I’ll tell you a bit about mine if you tell me a bit about yours. We can take turns.”

“That sounds good to me. What is it like to have so many people around?”

“Cramped. You’re always rubbing shoulders with someone and you need to be very careful so that you don’t have some pickpocket taking your things, but it’s not without it’s charm. You’re never alone in a city—you can always go to a coffee shop or something for some company.”

“It’s not so different in my village, save for the pickpockets. We’re a very small community—about a hundred members or so, children and elderly included—but we also have a very small space to live, so we’re always stuck together. It’s a bit of a nuisance if you want to be alone, especially if you’re a cleric, like me. Clerics have to stay in the village more often for the wounded.”

Mijung cheerfully hugged her knees, forgetting who she was talking to for a moment. “So you’ve known all the people in your home since birth? Wouldn’t that make getting married a little awkward, since you’ve known all the girls since you were kids?”

“Not always. There are other goblin settlements, though I wouldn’t dream of living there. Our village is very safe. I don’t really know if I want to get married, actually.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. It’s hard to concentrate on being a cleric when you’re married and you have children. If I get a family, I want to give them the attention they deserve. I’m too devoted to the Dark One for that.”

“Huh.” Mijung leaned back, staring at the fire. “I can’t imagine being that devoted to a god, but I’m an arcane caster, so I guess that I wouldn’t know.”

“It’s special for goblins. The Dark One is the only one who protects us.” He smiled, the frostiness forgotten. “My turn to ask a question. Is it frightening to have so many people you don’t know around?”

“Not really…”

They kept talking into the night, careful to never ask personal questions, until they had a light dinner and crawled into the bed. This time, they slept with their backs touching, and Mijung didn’t notice how strangely warm her companion was, or how he shivered gently.

None of them heard the quiet hissing outside as someone not quite human peered through their window with narrow eyes.

Thoughts?

[Lix Lorn]

I liked the ending. 'twas sweet.

[Sereg]

Those were both nice updates Tira-chan and Water-Smurf. It's certainly interesting to hear a goblin's explaination of their culture.

[Taekwondodo]

*Dances*

Two new stories!
Two new stories!
Two new,
Two new,
Two new stories!

Nice updates Tira-Chan and Water-Smurf.

[Lix Lorn]

Look what I just rolled. XD
(The chimera + Miko) + (Windstriker + Sarah Greenhilt)

[Draconi Redfir]

t's a double date! :D

[Taekwondodo]

Look what I just rolled. XD
(The chimera + Miko) + (Windstriker + Sarah Greenhilt)

Now you just have to write it! (Dare you)

[CoffeeIncluded]

That's a really nice one, Water-Smurf.

(The chimera + Miko) + (Windstriker + Sarah Greenhilt)

Hey, I've got an idea. Miko's so nervous about a blind date that Windstriker offers to come along to give her confidence!