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Thread: D&D Philosophy One-Liners
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2010-01-26, 06:37 PM (ISO 8601)
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D&D Philosophy One-Liners
I was sitting in class the other day, the prof talking about Galileo and Hobbes, and he summed up Hobbes thoughts on civil government with the quip: "Rocks fall, everyone forms civil societies!", the rocks falling bit relating to how Hobbes adapted the principle of inertia to politics.
The nearness of it to the standard d&d line, "Rocks fall, everyone dies." had me cracking up. Course, no one else in the class knew what I was laughing about. But that's not so uncommon.
Anyway.
It got me thinking about other philosophers and how their thoughts or ideas could be summed up into one line catchphrases related to d&d. Yes, not even the Copernican revolution can keep my mind from d&d, apparently.
Here's a few I've thought of:
Nietzsche: "Alignments are for slaves."
Socrates: "Use True Seeing to bypass the illusions of the world."
Hegel: "The Spirit of the World is my shapeshifting animal companion."
Heraklitus*: "Everything is a Fire elemental in a different form."
Parmenides: "Only with Divine Favor will you walk the Way of Truth."
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I suppose they wouldn't be funny unless you understand the particular philosopher. Then again, they might not be funny regardless.
*Different spelling to bypass the censor.
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And I just thought of one for Star Trek:
Nietzsche/Scotty: "She's got no will to power, Cap'n!"
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2010-01-26, 08:20 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: D&D Philosophy One-Liners
Just for the last one: you win my eternal adoration.
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2010-01-26, 08:22 PM (ISO 8601)
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2010-01-26, 08:26 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: D&D Philosophy One-Liners
Descartes: "I am the DM."
Nietzsche (as Nihilist): "Rocks fall, everybody dies."
Donatien François, Marquis de Sade: "I head to the nearest brothel!"
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2010-01-26, 09:29 PM (ISO 8601)
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2010-01-26, 09:40 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: D&D Philosophy One-Liners
Descartes: De ominieighteen dubitandum (All-eighteen stats are to be doubted, so roll on the table!)
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2010-01-26, 10:15 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: D&D Philosophy One-Liners
Hamlet: To play a monk or not to play a monk, that is the question.
Marx: Commoners of the world, unite; you have nothing to lose but your WBL.
Adam Smith: *weeps in corner crying*
Emerson: Every campaign becomes boring in the end. Play a druid instead of any other class.
Sartre: existence precedes essentia.Last edited by industrious; 2010-01-26 at 10:31 PM.
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2010-01-26, 10:25 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: D&D Philosophy One-Liners
Socrates/DM: "So you're all in the cave..."
Pwn 4 teh pwn god! N00bs 4 teh n00b thr1!
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2010-01-26, 10:35 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: D&D Philosophy One-Liners
Bruce Lee: "Boards don't hit back unless someone cast animate objects on them."
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2010-01-26, 10:43 PM (ISO 8601)
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2010-01-26, 10:45 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: D&D Philosophy One-Liners
Lear: How sharper than a serpent's tooth is the same serpent's tooth with frikin GREATER MAGIC FANG +5 CASTED ON IT AGH AGH AGH OWCH -dies-
PETA: Watch out, commoners. Cats will kill you, because they can.
Arthur C. Clarke: Any sufficiently advanced magic is indistinguishable from technology.
Descartes: I've rolled, therefore I am.
Mao: Power grows out of the pages of a spellbook.
Sun Tze: Know thyself and scry thy enemy.Last edited by lostlittlebear; 2010-01-26 at 10:46 PM.
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2010-01-26, 10:59 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: D&D Philosophy One-Liners
Oscar Wilde: "I can resist anything except temptations with a will save over 31."
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2010-01-26, 11:16 PM (ISO 8601)
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2010-01-26, 11:36 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: D&D Philosophy One-Liners
I love this thread.
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2010-01-27, 12:02 AM (ISO 8601)
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Re: D&D Philosophy One-Liners
Kant: Always act as though affected by a Zone of Truth.
Lamarck: Acquired Templates become Inherited Templates in future generations.
Plato: I think Emperor Tippy has a good system of government going there.
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2010-01-27, 12:07 AM (ISO 8601)
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Re: D&D Philosophy One-Liners
Referring to the City from the Republic? From what I know of the Tippyverse Emperor Tippy is some kinda of tyrannical god, right?
The City outlined in the Republic, with the Guardians and eugenics and censorship and all, is actually Socrates description of a fevered city. His description of an ideal city happens right before they talk about that city, and is all of two paragraphs.
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2010-01-27, 12:14 AM (ISO 8601)
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Re: D&D Philosophy One-Liners
"Losing a limb is a tragedy. Falling into a pit of Gelatinous slimes is hilarious."
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2010-01-27, 12:24 AM (ISO 8601)
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Re: D&D Philosophy One-Liners
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2010-01-27, 12:45 AM (ISO 8601)
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Re: D&D Philosophy One-Liners
Ah, I see. I think my understanding of the Tippyverse was distorted as my first exposure to it was the Tippyverse '84 recruiting thread.
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2010-01-27, 02:25 AM (ISO 8601)
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My latest homebrew: Majokko base class and Spellcaster Dilettante feats for D&D 3.5 and Races as Classes for PTU.
Currently Playing
Raiatari Eikibe - Ghostfoot's RHOD Righteous Resistance
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2010-01-27, 03:53 AM (ISO 8601)
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Re: D&D Philosophy One-Liners
"It is said that if you have both the Monster Manual and the Player's Handbook, you will not be imperiled in a hundred encounters; if you do not have the Monster Manual but have the Player's Handbook, you will win one and lose one; if you do not have the Monster Manual nor the Player's Handbook, you will be imperiled in every single encounter."
-Sun Tzu
"All warfare is based on Bluff checks."
-Sun Tzu
"Be a rogue. Thereby you can be the director of the opponent's fate."
-Sun TzuLast edited by Athaniar; 2010-01-27 at 10:08 AM.
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2010-01-27, 03:57 AM (ISO 8601)
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2010-01-27, 04:24 AM (ISO 8601)
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Re: D&D Philosophy One-Liners
Aristoteles: "A party is more then the sum of its members"
"The proper term is, 'Smite Evil,' not, 'Bump Uglies'." - Miko
"I am somewhat preoccupied telling the Laws of Physics to shut up and sit down." - Vaarsuvius
Avatar by one and only Bradakhan!
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2010-01-27, 04:26 AM (ISO 8601)
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2010-01-27, 04:27 AM (ISO 8601)
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Re: D&D Philosophy One-Liners
Mark Twain: Dance like you have Greater Invisibility. Sing like you're Silenced. Love like you've never taken hit point damage and live like you've been Plane Shifted to Celestia.
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2010-01-27, 05:13 AM (ISO 8601)
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2010-01-27, 05:42 AM (ISO 8601)
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Re: D&D Philosophy One-Liners
Machiavelli "It is a sound maxim that when an act is evil, the result may excuse it, and when the result is good, always excuses it"
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2010-01-27, 05:55 AM (ISO 8601)
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Re: D&D Philosophy One-Liners
Having read Sun Tzu, I'd say he'd actually be a cleric. The first line of the Art of War is actually an admonishment telling states not to go to war lightly. Funnily enough, for such a great general, Sun Tzu actually counseled that war should only be used as a last resort, which makes him all the more greater in my eyes.
Maybe it should be - It is a sound maxim that when an act is stupid, the dice may excuse it, and when the dice is a natural 20, always excuses it.
Nietzche: The DM IS DEAD!Last edited by lostlittlebear; 2010-01-27 at 06:00 AM.
WW Games I have won:Spoiler
Day of the Dead 2 - Doctor
Monster Mash III - Zombie Alpha
Be the Ultimate Ninja! Play Billy Vs. SNAKEMAN today!
Avatar courtesy of the wonderful Strawberries
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2010-01-27, 06:59 AM (ISO 8601)
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Re: D&D Philosophy One-Liners
DM: Nietzsche, your character is dead!
Resident Vancian Apologist
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2010-01-27, 07:47 AM (ISO 8601)
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